something like love.
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i. regrets
Sasuke can't say he regrets everything he's done up 'till now.
He does not regret becoming a part of Team Seven.
He does not regret forming a bond with members of said Team -- and then cutting them off later as if, all along, he held the scissors in his hand and it only took him a while to put those scissors to good use and snip.
He does not regret severing those bonds.
He does not regret betraying Konoha.
He does not regret betraying his sensei Kakashi, or the pink-haired girl, Sakura, who gave him her heart.
He does not regret severing his bond with the loud, lively, blonde, Kyuubi-container.
He does not regret ramming a Chidori through Naruto's chest.
Because, in the end, it was all those chain of events that led to his eventual (and current) situation. Because, in the end, it was all those things -- all those steps he took, choices he made -- that brought him closer to Naruto than he's ever been.
-- an Uchiha does not live with regrets.
ii. revenge
Sasuke lived his life with one sole purpose: revenge.
Revenging his clan.
Killing Itachi -- his dear, older brother.
After his revenge was complete, his body was supposed to go to Orochimaru. Once upon a time he didn't care.
Once upon a time, he only wanted one thing, and that one thing was his life's purpose.
Everything after that didn't matter.
...and then things happen, and an epiphany takes place -- even Sasuke's capable of having epiphanies every now and then -- and you become closer -- so much, much closer -- to someone; to him... and revenge doesn't seem as necessary as it once was; giving up your body and life doesn't seem so tempting anymore.
With Naruto, Sasuke feels like he has all the time in the world. He feels more calm. He feels more sure; more confident; more positive he will have his revenge in due time.
And he knows Naruto will be there, right beside him, following him to the darkest corners of Hell. Because Naruto's always been there. He's always been right there.
-- even with the Sharingan, an Uchiha can be a tad blind. Just a tad.
iii. smile
He was known for never smiling, never laughing, never showing any happy or elated emotions.
Sasuke doesn't think he's capable of smiling.
Smirking, sure, but a smile takes too much effort.
Smiling or laughing means you're happy. It means you're perhaps joyful. Sasuke's never felt joy. He's never had the urge to smile or laugh.
Maybe when he was little, young, innocent and naive. Maybe when his family wasn't massacred he possessed the ability to feel joy and happiness, possessed the ability to smile and laugh...
Things such as innocence fade when you live the life of the only remaining Uchiha.
But when he's with Naruto... it's not necessarily joy. It's a bit of happiness -- but not an overwhelming kind of happiness that makes him want to burst -- it's a contented kind of happiness...
...that he feels when he's with Naruto.
--smiling doesn't seem so hard then.
iv. heart
Every human body has a heart. It circulates and pumps blood throughout your veins.
It reminds you that you're living.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Sasuke worries his heart has stopped beating. He worries because sometimes, he can't feel it. He isn't sure if it's still there, beating; pumping; thumping against his rib cage.
He thought he lost his heart a long time ago.
But there's always someone to pick up pieces of you that you may have forgotten along the way.
The day Naruto caught up to him -- found him -- Sasuke believes his heart was given back to him.
And when he's tangled up with another pair of limbs, and his nose is buried in blonde hair, and his hand is pressed against cool tan skin where he can feel Naruto's heart beating...
He knows his own heart is still beating as well.
--sometimes he just needs a little bit of reassurance.
v. love
Love was something Sasuke thought he was incapable of having and giving.
He doesn't really know what love is. Can't say he's a pro at recognizing it with a single glance.
He's only ever loved his mother and father; only ever loved to hate his brother.
He's only ever been obsessed with revenge -- can't call that love, now can we?
He's only ever had bonds with the members of Team Seven.
He thinks, though, that he may have found something similar to it. He thinks he might have found it in Naruto. He's not sure what love is exactly, but he's sure no one can define it; no one can tell him exactly what love is. But whatever it is, whatever this feeling is that flutters in him whenever he's around his blonde teammate...
--whoever said an Uchiha was incapable of feeling something remotely close to love?
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He supposes, in the end, that all of this was the reason why Sasuke could not get away from Naruto; why he could not sever their bonds completely.
Naruto has a big, big heart.
He loves everyone, regardless of the mistakes they may have done.
It's Naruto's big, big heart that brought Sasuke back.
It's Naruto who helps him to remember who he was; who he is... Naruto who reminds him that revenge isn't all it's cracked up to be; that he doesn't have to live with regrets; that it's okay to smile because not everyone's looking -- but that he will always be looking -- and that... even he, Sasuke, is capable of feeling something like love.
And it was the same reason -- the same reason that he made love to Naruto, the same reason he held the blonde close to him in the aftermath, the same reason he listened to Naruto's sleepy breathing and his gentle pulse of heart beats -- that Sasuke would give back to Naruto all he's given him.
Sasuke isn't sure what love is.
But when he's with Naruto, he thinks he has an idea.
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owari.