I'm almost falling asleep on the keyboard while I type, because it's three in the morning over here…BUT I wanted to update and tell you guys that I'm leaving for Paris next Saturday and I'll be there for a week (till 22nd of July), so I'll update when I come back, on 23rd or 24th. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.

15 – Ponyboy's news

In May, Ponyboy and Darrel graduated. First was Darry and only five days later it was Ponyboy's turn, so within a week we went to Shreveport, spent a couple of days there and then got back to Tulsa. Luckily, even if he was only three months old, Jesse James was already a quiet baby and he didn't cry or act difficult for the most part of our time travelling.

During Ponyboy's graduation, I got a bit teary-eyed. Soda noticed at once and made fun of me till Ponyboy reached us smiling hugely: "Sybil, why are you crying?"

"I'm not! I got a bit emotional…" I said. I was bawling by now. "It's just, I'm proud of you and you're so handsome, you look so much like Sodapop…" I trailed off.

Soda held me while I tried to regain my composure and he and Darry laughed at me. Then we all hugged Ponyboy and congratulated him. Then he looked at someone far away from us: "Mr. Andrews is waving at me, maybe he needs something…you mind?"

"Go ahead, we'll wait for you."

"How many people are gonna be at the party?" Soda asked. We had decided we'd have a party at our house to celebrate both Darry and Pony's graduations.

"We invited twenty, so I guess there'll be at least thirty people there." I replied.

"You okay, Pony?" Darry asked his brother when he reached us.

"Yeah…let's go home."

Even if he denied it, Ponyboy acted strange for the rest of the day. Even at his party, he didn't seem much into it.

That night, while I was getting ready to go to bed, Soda talked to Pony. When he reached me in our bedroom, he was grinning crazily.

"You'll never guess!" he exclaimed.

"What?"

"A guy named Chuck Bradford wants to publish Ponyboy's works!"

"What?" I repeated, enthusiastically, this time around.

"You know today, when his teacher waved at him? He wanted to introduce Pony to a friend of his, Chuck Bradford, who's a publisher! The guy read some of Pony's short stories that he did for college and he thinks he's very good!" Sodapop explained, grinning. "And he wants to publish some of his stuff!"

"That's amazing! Why didn't Pony say anything earlier? He should be thrilled!"

"He's just baffled, he says he can't believe someone would publish the ramblings of a 21-year-old!"

"But we always knew how great he is! Wait, I have to talk to him-"

Soda stopped me. "Not now, he's deep in thought and still kinda dazed. You'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay…this is so great, I'm so happy for Pony!" I really was. I'd always known he had so much potential.

"By the way, I gotta go to Kansas next week."

"Already?"

"Yeah, with the good season coming up, some horses are going to be sold and we have to show them in fairs and stuff." Soda yawned and lay down on the bed. "I'm exhausted."

For some reason I wasn't really tired but lay down next to him anyway. "How long are you gonna stay in Kansas?"

"Just four days. I'm worried about Shadowfax…he hasn't been the same since he got sick."

I looked at him curiously. Even in the darkness of the room, I could make out his perfect features. "Soda, he's a horse."

"Yeah, but he's smart. He's always been my favorite since Mr. Danes bought him three years ago." He explained.

"How come no one bought Shadowfax from him in three years?" Mr. Danes bought and sold horses all the time.

"It's cause Shadowfax ain't got no real good pedigree. But he's better than most other horses at the farm."

"You really love him. Should I start worrying?" I joked.

"Naw. Not yet." He grinned. "He kinda reminds me of Mickey Mouse, that's why I'm so fond of him. Actually…I hope Mr. Danes doesn't sell him." He kissed me. "Night, Sybil."

"Night, Soda."

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When Sodapop left the following week, tons of things happened.

Josh Becker came to visit. They had just removed the bandages he had had to keep for some weeks after the operation to his right eye and since the first moment I opened the front door I could tell he was now able to see. He was over the moon and he had to refrain himself from looking everywhere, like he wanted to make up for all the time he spent not being able to see.

"I'm sorry Soda's not here, but as soon as he comes back you could meet…are you staying in Tulsa or are you going back to Oklahoma City?" I asked him, while we were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking some coffee.

"I think I'm gonna stay here, at least for the summer…" From the way he spoke, it seemed to me that he had a particular reason to stay. "You know, it's like I'm reborn, like I'm seeing stuff for the first time in my life. I never noticed so many details in my life before. It's so true that we take everything we have for granted."

I smiled. "I agree."

"You look a lot like I remembered." He noticed the confused look on my face and he quickly added: "When we were in Nam, Soda had some photos of you and him together and he looked at them all the time. He showed 'em to some of us, too, the ones who understood what it's like to be in love." I nodded and he went on talking: "I'm curious to see your son. If he's so much like Sodapop, he must be a real looker. So many guys used to make fun of him cause of his pretty face."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He got into a couple of fights and when they understood he knew how to beat up people, they left him alone."

I didn't like thinking about Soda fighting but I knew back in the day when we weren't dating it was common for him to do that. And even when we were going out…it happened sometimes. "Jesse James should wake up anytime now, so you'll see him. Josh, I was wondering…" I hesitated. "Do you have any siblings?" I wanted to ask him about his family, parents and all, but it would've been rude.

"No, I'm an only child. I have a couple of relatives in Garyville, but that's about it."

Since he didn't mention his parents, I thought I wouldn't insist. I was simply wondering how he had managed to pass the last years, when he was blind, on his own. Later, he saw Jesse James and said he was "a real doll".

"I better go now…I have to meet someone." He got up, smiling. "Tell Sodapop I say hi and maybe I'll see him when he comes back."

When Josh left, I started thinking about Vietnam. I don't know why, but when Soda wasn't with me, or when someone connected to him like Josh or Two-Bit showed up, I always found myself deep in thought about those months when Soda and I had been apart.

I had no idea they made fun of him cause of his looks, but it made sense: there had to be some pretty rough guys in the army. I wondered how many things about those days he hadn't told me, or he had omitted, because it hurt to remember.

"Ponyboy, do you know where Sodapop put our photo albums?" I asked him when he came home in the late afternoon. I wanted to look at some pictures of us and of them brothers.

"Have you tried looking in the living room's cupboard?"

I did. They were there. "Thanks, Pony. I don't know what I'd do without you…especially when Soda's away."

He grinned. He really looked a lot like Sodapop. "You're my favorite sister-in-law. And not just because you're the only one."

I laughed. "Are you going out tonight?"

"Nope, I'll stay home."

I was glad he did, because if I was on my own in the evenings I always felt so lonely. Maybe when Jesse James would start talking that'd change. "Let's watch some movies! When Soda's home, he complains all the time his body goes to sleep if he has to sit on the sofa for more than half an hour and we can never watch TV properly."

"Sure. Do you want me to go get some pizza or somethin'?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

Ponyboy left and I looked at all the pictures on our photo albums. All of them but our wedding ones, because they made me feel nostalgic and melancholic and I couldn't stand it if Sodapop wasn't there.

Then Steve came by cause he needed to talk to Soda (he'd forgotten he'd left the day before). Steve and Evie had mutually decided to get a divorce and she wasn't pregnant after all. I was feeling awful sorry for Julie.

------------------------------------------

"I'm back!"

When I heard Soda's voice, I rushed to go hug him. "I missed you!"

I let go of him and noticed the look on his face. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, don't worry. I'm just sleepy." He didn't look just sleepy. "How's Jesse James?"

"Fine. He ate and I just put him to sleep. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I think I'll go straight to bed."

I glanced at the clock. It was only eight in the evening. "Okay. You don't wanna eat anything? I can fix you everything you want."

"No, thanks."

He went upstairs. I'd missed him so much while he had been away that I didn't feel like staying downstairs all alone, so I reached him after I'd washed the dishes.

Sodapop was sleeping already. I lay down and got close to him, but it was so early that I couldn't sleep. About half an hour later, he started shaking and moving around a little in his sleep.

"Soda…wake up!"

He eventually did. He was sweating. "What?"

"You were having a nightmare…" I slowly said.

"What? I don't remember." He sat up. "Did I say something?"

"No, you just…you were shaking."

He nodded and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. I stared at him: I'd thought his nightmares were gone for good. I had been wrong.