I wake up around two, long before dawn. My eyes feel all gross and puffy; the way eyes feel after a long hard cry. I'm still wearing the dress from last night, even the magic gloves.
I get out of bed and shuffle into the bathroom where I strip down and splash water all over my body to wake myself up, and maybe somehow wash off all the bad feelings that came with yesterday. Now that I can think again, I realize that it's not my fault. Well sure, it was dumb of me to fall for another jerk, but it's not my fault he's a jerk.
He's the one who made me believe he cared. He's the one who messed with my mind, played with me. Making me think he didn't like me, and then that he loved me, acting so unsure of himself, playing upon my weakness, every woman's weakness.
He doesn't deserve me.
I sigh deeply, as deeply as I possibly can, hoping to just blow out all the bad feelings. I'm leaving today; in a matter of hours I'll have left this all behind. It will be better for me to just get as far away as possible and forget this ever happened. Once I'm back in Konoha I'll be able to look at this trip objectively, see how silly I was. I'll probably realize that I never really cared much about Gaara anyway; he's just a sort of coping mechanism. Of course, I only needed to feel like I was in love with him, and believe I had a chance with him because it had become so blatantly obvious that nothing could ever happen with Sasuke. I needed Gaara to help me get over Sasuke.
I'm such a delusional fool.
With that in mind, I get dressed, back into my own clothes and go out for an early morning run, much more comfortable in my own clothing. I run around Suna, saying one last goodbye to all the places I won't visit again.
That's when I see Gaara up ahead. He's standing in the desert, looking outwards. It's like he's one with desert sometimes; he belongs to it, and it belongs to him. I just don't figure into the equation anywhere.
"Gaara!" I yell, stupidly going after him, even after last night. I guess I'm a sucker for punishment.
He turns and glares at me. That's it. No moment of surprise to see me out here in the middle of nowhere so early in the morning, just hostility, right off the bat. "What do you want?"
I stop dead in my tracks. "I didn't expect a warm welcome exactly but this…"
"Well then, that makes two of us." He answers, and turns his back to me. He'll be expecting me to give up and leave now, but I refuse to back down.
"What's your problem? I thought-"
"Well you thought wrong. We both did, it seems." He cuts me off and speaks in a quiet, harsh tone. "You could have at least…" He shakes his head. "I know better now anyway. Maybe I should be thanking you."
He doesn't even give me a chance to respond; he takes off in a cloud of sand before I can even open my mouth. Even if I could have opened my mouth, I doubt any noise would come out of it; I'm so confused.
There really is something I'm not getting.
I run back to my room right after that, but I'm only halfway there before I start crying. I crawl back into my room through the window and curl up in bed to cry this thing out. I just want it out. I just want him to love me. It feels like that's what I'm always wishing. Why can't I be loved?
I must have fallen asleep because when Naruto bursts into my room in the morning and pulls open the blinds to the sun I feel like a chunk of my life is missing. Well, I suppose it is, and not just because I slept through it.
"Wakey wakey!" He chirps, "It's time to go home!" I hate Naruto in the morning; I always want to throw things at him, and pillows just don't cut it. My annoyance remains unabated, and he remains cheerful and alive.
I mutter obscenities at him and try to bury myself into the bedding, but he pulls it away from me.
"Seriously Sakura! We're leaving in half an hour!"
I glare at him through the haze of red that is descending on my vision. "And you wake me up now? What the hell is wrong with you?"
He shrugs. "I figured you'd want to sleep as long as possible after the late night we had last night." He answers, and laughs sheepishly. I grumble some more as I get out of bed, conveniently dressed already and shove all my stuff into a bag.
When I open the door out of my bedroom Temari is sitting on my couch, staring out the window. She turns when I walk out and grins at me. I hate both of them so much right now.
"Well good morning sunshine!" She says, and I can only manage a grumble in response. "Not a morning person are we?"
"Not this morning." I walk back into the bedroom and come back out with the dress and gloves from last night. "I almost forgot; you might want these back before I leave."
She shakes her head. "No actually. You keep them; to remember us by when we're not with you." She wipes away an imaginary tear, and I walk past her to the door, deliberately ignoring her theatrics. I quickly shove her gift into my bag, as delicately as possible of course, and then swing the pack onto my back.
"Let's get going then shall we?" I ask, and walk out into the street, followed by the others.
We walk through the streets, which are all empty for some reason, and out to the city's exit. It's so eerie, walking in the streets without hearing the chatter of people all around.
Once we get out it becomes obvious why there was no one in the streets; they've all come to say goodbye. This sight is nearly as eerie as the last.
Watanabe and Ito are already waiting with our guide. It's the same man who brought us to Suna the first day we arrived. They wave as we come near and shoulder their own packs, ready to go.
The Kazekage and his councilors are waiting as well, all lined up to shake our hands as wish us well. That's what all the councilors wished me anyway, Gaara barely managed to blurt out a goodbye.
"Thank you for all your help." He says stiffly, shaking my hand. It's almost physically painful for me, this situation. I just want to hug him, but that's obviously not going to happen. He'd probably crush my throat if I even tried it now.
"I'm glad I came." I answer truthfully, and turn away, following the others who have already started walking.
I turn around after a minute, because I can't help myself, and everyone is still standing there, watching us leave, but the only eyes I see are Gaara's, glowering at me under lowered brows. I quickly turn away and face forward. It's time to put this behind me; time to go home.