We've been home for a week now, and I still haven't unpacked my bag. I don't know why; I don't know what I'm hoping for.

Life has pretty much gone back to normal, or as close to normal as life ever gets. Everyone around me is still crazy, so nothing is ever really… sane, but that's the way it is. It's the way it always has been.

I feel like I should be comforted by that fact. It's just like Temari said it would be; everything is so familiar. Everyone has gone back to their usual routine now that the drought has ended. It rains every day. People smile at each other as they walk down the street, and the Yamanaka flower shop is full of people again.

This is my life.

I've been trying to convince myself of that lately. But I can't stop thinking about Suna. Of course, I think about Gaara a lot too, but usually I can stop myself from that much at least. It's Suna I can't get out of my head.

At night, when I sit on my roof with Naruto and drink tea, I look across the city and see all the bright lights, but I can't stop comparing it to Suna's gentler glow. Naruto talks all the time, but I can't hear half of it, wishing to feel the dry wind of the desert on my cheeks again.

When we left Suna, I thought it was the people I'd really miss, but it turns out I was most in love with the city itself.

Tsunade has been getting annoyed with me lately. I've been helping her out, but my mind is obviously elsewhere, and I haven't exactly been doing my best work. She's really gotten pissed off. That's why I have the day off today; so that she can get some work done without having me around to muck things up. I wish she had sent me away on a mission instead; it's easier for me to stop thinking about Suna that way. Now I have nothing to do but sit around. Naruto isn't even around to keep me company. After his grand welcome home, he insisted on being sent out again on a mission. He didn't want to stay, so he didn't. I wish I could do the same.

Instead I'm sitting here in my living room, sipping tea and staring at the ceiling. I've never noticed how many cracks were in my ceiling until today.

I get up after a few hours and go into the kitchen to get food. I've restocked it with good food since I got back, so now I have plenty of ingredients to make some delicious food.

Instead I eat raw vegetables and rice crackers.

I walk into my bedroom, still munching on a carrot, and eye the bag sitting on the floor at the foot of my bed. I should really unpack.

I sit down in front of the bag cross legged and stare at it for a while longer before actually opening it.

It smells terrible. I pull out a dirty shirt – the source of the smell and throw it into the corner. I'll wash it later. I pull out the dress next. It smells a little funny too, because of the shirt, but I ignore the smell as I hold it against my chest and rub the fabric between my fingers. If only this feeling brought back good memories…

I put the dress aside and pull out a box next. For a second I can't place it, and I wonder why it's there, but then I remember that Temari gave me the gloves too. Then I realize that I really am losing my mind.

I open the box and pull out the gloves, then throw the box away. It hits the wall and falls to the ground, followed by a small thump.

I turn to look at it. Followed by a thump? I crawl over to the box, wondering what could have made that second noise, and that's when I notice the small red box. It must have been in with the gloves all along, but I never noticed.

I pick it up and study it for a second before opening it. It looks like a jewelry box; I've seen plenty of these in Ino's room, gifts from her admirers. No doubt she has plenty more now, wherever she is. I wish she was here now so that I could show her mine, even if it isn't really from an admirer.

I open the box, and a slip of paper falls onto the floor, uncovering a tiny pink rose. I ignore the paper for a minute, picking up the rose gently. It's made out of some sort of crystal, and attached to a thin silver chain, so thin it's almost invisible. It's one of the loveliest things I've ever seen, the prettiest thing I've ever owned. Too bad I'm discovering it now, and not a week ago, before the party when it would have looked best with my outfit. I put it on now anyway, to see how it feels around my neck. The chain is so light it's like wearing nothing at all; only the soft weight of the rose on my collarbone gives away the fact that I'm wearing a necklace.

Once I'm done admiring the necklace I pick up the paper, curious to see what Temari had to say to me that night. Maybe it will explain something, excuse me from making a speech probably. I unfold the paper and read:

You'll probably think I'm foolish for this, but I'm just not sure of anything anymore. I don't think I ever really was. It's too hard to tell someone how you feel; you're too likely to get hurt. I love you. If you feel the same way, wear this tonight and I will know, without you ever having to say anything. If you don't wear it, then I will know that I truly am foolish, and I apologize if I made you look foolish as well. It was never my intent.

Gaara

Well, that explains a lot.

But what can I do now? Nothing. Nothing, and so I cry.