This time I'm actually updating faster than usual! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own Jesse James, Sybil, Josh and Sophie. The rest belongs to wonderful S.E. Hinton.

19 – The luckiest person

"I'm an idiot!"

I was trying to park the car in a small space…and I had gotten too close to the car parked behind. Result: I had scratched the car. Soda and I's, not the other one parked there. It wasn't very visible but the sign was there, on its side. "Great, now Soda'll ask me why I didn't pay more attention and Steve will say he's always been right and women can't drive." I sighed. "I hate big cars."

I decided in case Sodapop didn't notice it, I wouldn't tell him.

I entered the house: "I'm back!"

"Great! I was craving some milk." Soda exclaimed, reaching me and looking through the bag I was carrying. I had gone out to get a couple of things at the nearest market.

"That one should be Jesse, not you."

"Like father like son." Soda replied, immediately drinking some milk out of the carton. "Jesse James is watching some dumb cartoon on tv."

"That's not nice. When you were young, you watched some dumb cartoons, too." I reminded him.

"That was Two-Bit." Soda joked.

I went to see our baby, who was staring at the tv screen, completely enthralled by the images.

I picked him up and kissed his cheek. "Who's the most beautiful baby in the world?"

Jesse James looked at me like I was nuts. Then he ignored me and started playing with the tv's remote control.

"Sybil!" Sodapop exclaimed. "I told Josh I'd be at his place by four and it's almost time! Jesse James's ready?"

"Yeah, just put his coat and gloves on."

Soda picked up our child and started making funny faces at him. "Who's the most beautiful baby in the world?"

That was it. Jesse James was staring at him like he was wondering why his parents were so dumb.

Sodapop was going to visit Josh while Sophie and I would go shopping together. I needed to buy lots of stuff for the house, and I also wanted to get something for my baby.

When we finally went outside, Jesse James started crying because, for some reason, he didn't want to be put in his carseat. He had never had any problems with it before and I wasn't sure why he was acting that way.

Soda suggested I sit in the back with him so that maybe he'd calm down, but that didn't work well. So when we reached Josh and Sophie's flat, we were relieved.

"Hey there!" Sophie greeted us when she opened the door. "How are you doing? Man, Jesse James is getting so big!" She smiled at him.

"I know, and heavy too!" I told her, while Sodapop and I entered the living room. I said hello to Josh and not much later Sophie and I were leaving the building.

"I'm glad Josh and Sodapop are spending some time together." Sophie said.

"Me too."

"And I'm glad Jesse James is with them…" Sophie suddenly sounded awkward. "Cause maybe… interacting with a baby… Josh'll realize…"

"Yeah?"

"That…having a baby is a good thing. Or it could be."

I turned to look at her. Sophie was focusing on the road in front of her, but her face was flushed.

"You'd like to have a baby?" I asked. "I mean…you…are you getting married or just…"

"We aren't, not now. But what difference does it make if we're married or not, I just… want to have a family. A real one. I've felt alone for so long and now with Josh… everything's finally going good, it feels so right…"

I understood what she meant. "I know. You deserve to be happy, and Josh too. Does he ever…" I paused. We had reached the mall and Sophie had parked the car. "Does he ever have…nightmares about-"

"Vietnam? Sometimes." Sophie looked at me knowingly. "I think it's pretty common among soldiers…Josh doesn't like talking about that part of his life, so I don't know much."

"Soda doesn't like it either." I looked down.

We were silent for a while, then I spoke again: "Come on, we should be shopping already, not be sitting in the car!"

Sophie smiled. "Let's go!"

Even if we both tried to forget about our conversation in the car, it was obvious it was still in the back of our minds. For some reason, I couldn't wait to go home and re-read the letters Soda had sent me when he was in Vietnam.

So I did. A couple of hours later, when Sophie dropped me off at my house, I carelessly threw the bags on the sofa and went upstairs. I rummaged through some boxes until I found Soda's letters and started reading them all, understanding only a small part of what he spoke about when he described the places he was at, the things he was doing, the people he met. And that made me really sad. I was almost going to cry, but I heard the front door slam and Soda's cheerful voice: "We're home!"

I put away the box and tried to look as normal as possible before walking downstairs. "Hi! Have you been a good boy, Jesse?" I asked, taking him in my arms.

"Yes." He replied. Then he muttered something that sounded like "Dr. Pepper."

"Soda…you haven't let him drink any Dr. Pepper, have you?" I asked.

Sodapop grinned sheepishly. "I guess…just a little."

"Sodapop!" I exclaimed. "You know it isn't good for him, he's barely one year old!"

Jesse James shook his head: "Again!"

"You're not having anymore Dr. Pepper!" I told him. "What were you thinking?"

I turned and carried Jesse James in the kitchen, then put him in his seat. "I bet you aren't even hungry now, after drinking that." I remarked, as I stared at Jesse James. He looked way more awake than he should be at six in the afternoon.

"Don't want food." He simply said.

I didn't know why I was feeling that annoyed. But Soda noticed it at once. "Sibyl…" he reached me in the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

I didn't want to bring up the letters. Those were what was making me feel that way: I wasn't mad at Soda, I was mad at myself, because I couldn't understand everything he'd gone through. I wasn't able to, and that was what got on my nerves more than anything. "Nothing."

"I swear I didn't give him much Dr. Pepper, just a sip."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter." I forced myself to look into Soda's beautiful eyes: "I think…I'll go upstairs to wash my hair. I'm not hungry, but you make dinner for you and Jesse."

Soda didn't insist. "Alright."

After a lot of thinking, I went through a sudden change of mood. I stopped being annoyed and only wanted to put Jesse James to bed and stay with Soda, without worrying about anything.

Sodapop reached me in the living room, where I was watching TV absent-mindedly. "He's asleep."

"Good." I nodded. It was half past eight already.

He sat next to me and sighed. "I don't know what I did wrong, but I wouldn't wanna fight in front of Ponyboy, so if you could tell me what's the matter before he comes home-"

I interrupted him by pressing my lips against his. "Everything's alright." I whispered.

"You sure?"

He was looking at me longingly. I nodded and kissed him again. I really needed to be as close as possible to him that very moment and the same went for him. For once, I was tired of talking.

Later that night, as I lay my head on Soda's chest, listening to his heartbeat, I remembered. "Sodapop?"

"Yeah?"

"I kinda scratched our car this afternoon. Just a bit."

Soda laughed. "I know, I saw it."

"You don't mind?"

"Naw, the car's old anyway." He held me closer to him. I realized I was the luckiest person in the whole world.