Saturday, Atlantean Royal Palace

I was wet, miserable, and tired. Plus I'm in danger of getting eaten by a great white shark or something. The moment I saw Lia's gaze welded on something behind me, I knew what that means. It means There's Something Behind Me. Be it sharks or jellyfish, stonefish or the Loch Ness monster, I'd watched enough Jaws and what-not to know better than hope it's a plastic fin.

Lia hauled me onto her surfboard and I grabbed her around the waist. OK, I know in moments like this, the girl's supposed to grab the muscular guy. Not me. I was hanging on tight to Lia, who was traveling at break-neck speed.

"What's a shark doing in the shallow waters?" I shouted about the roar of the ocean.

"I'm thinking maybe global warming melted the ice caps and raised the sea level," Lia said, "or it may be another plot devised by Fate to kill ya. I'm not sure. Hang on!"

A huge wave was crashing up. Lia jumped up with it. I looked behind. Great. The fin belonged to a shark's, which was now opening its huge mouth. I could see rows upon rows of pink razor-sharp teeth. Do you know sharks' teeth are regrowable? Just asking. Those blood-stained teeth narrowly missed my butt.

"Lia! It's onto me!" I shouted.

"God-knows-why. I've never surfed above the sea level before," Lia mumbled. She suddenly jumped right off the board and the shark opened its mouth as Lia propelled the board toward it. The board was swallowed in one bite.

I gulped. Lia pushed me off and began swimming towards the shore, which was a few metres away. The shark circled for a bit, then it moved back into the Atlantic ocean. Boy, was I glad I let Mitchell coach me in swimming. I actually made it back to shore! Of course, it was a minute later than Lia.

Amelia, who now noticed the shark, began to scream. "Oh, my. SHARK! There's a SHARK! It attacked the PRINCE!"

Lia and I turned around to see Amelia fainting in terror. A guy wearing shorts carried her off. I blinked away the waters in my eyes and saw it was Mitchell. What was Mitchell doing here?

"NO!" I heard Lia shout beside me. I turned again and saw a horrifying sight: several fisherman took a harpoon and was aiming it at the shark. They thought it was a menace, and wanted to harvest sharks' fins, anyway.

"Leave it alone! It didn't hurt Michael!" Lia was shouting.

"Yeah! I'm OK! Let it go!" I shouted too.

I saw Mitchell leering at me as he stood with his arm around Amelia's waist. Then he walked away.

When I looked back, the shark was shot by the harpoon and was now being harvested by the poachers.

"That's an abomination to the animal planet!" Lia shouted, but no one paid any attention to her.

"Oh, Michael, you're so brave. I saw how you single-handedly fought back the shark. You're my hero!" Amelia came up to me and threw her arms around my neck. As I was shorter than her, she had to bend down to kiss me on my cheek.

I thought I could dimly feel Lia glowering at Amelia's back. But I wasn't sure. Because the next thing I knew was bliss. A girl kissed me! Me! And Amelia was pretty for a girl. So it won't hurt to let her stay on in the show, instead of kicking her out, like Lia suggested. Right?

I was lying on my stomach and flipping through the Abraham Lincoln biography. After I went back to the palace, I'd gone through several CAT scans and whatnot to check if I'd gotten hurt or whatever. Then they gave Lia a trophy for 'risking her life to protect the Prince'. I bet she must have several of those trophies now.

Anyway, the fisherman gave the shark to the cooks and now they're cooking shark's fin soup to celebrate my well-being. And I'm supposed to eat that. I hate seafood, remember? And I don't eat endangered animals like whale meat or sea tortoise meat of anything. Plus I always thought shark's fin soup is bland.

My doorbell rang. I opened it and Lia came in. She was back from her awards ceremony. She looked awkward in the traditional peplos.

"How's the awards ceremony?" I asked.

"Boring. With bland shark's fin soup," she said. "How's the airbus tour?"

"Boring," I mimicked. "With bland guides who keep on babbling about 'scenic places'. And the bus is slo-ow."

"How 'bout the girls? You do know that the rose ceremony is next?" she asked.

Oh, rats. I'd forgotten about that. Two more contestants will be eliminated. And I'm wearing corduroy pants! My stylist will go ballistic if he finds out I haven't donned Calvin Klein's new Man's collection or whatever.

"Your highness? Are you ready?" I heard his voice. Damn!

"Uh, hold on a minute. I've got a stomach ache." I ran around trying to find my tie, dinner jacket, and leather shoes.

"Here." Lia tossed me the starched white shirt with the black pants. "Catch ya later," and she bounded off to give me some privacy

while changing.

I struggled into my suit and inexpertly tied my tie. I looked at myself in the mirror. Sleeves and pants, too long. Jacket too big. I looked like a shrinking pansy!

I opened the door to my stylist. He eyed me over. Then he sniffed the air. "Where's your Hugo Boss cologne, your Highness? And your shaving cream? Did you use the special Atlantean brand of shaving cream?"

I rolled my eyes. Do I look like I needed a shave? Oh puh-lease. I haven't got hair on anywhere except on my head.

"We've no time to lose," the stylist took sprayed something that smelt on me. "Air spray. Prevents bugs too. Now, on to the Rose Ceremony."

I sighed inwardly. After almost getting eaten by a shark between another Rose Ceremony, I'd rather face the shark. Or eat its fin.