Meredith walked into the door of her home about an hour later. She remembers sitting in the parking lot of Seattle Grace for about twenty minutes before she even put the key in the ignition.
She sat her belongings on a nearby table and walked up the stairs. Izzie soon followed her into her bedroom. Meredith sat on her bed and stared straight ahead.
Izzie grabbed her friend's hand. "Meredith you're going to get through this. We are going to get through this. You helped me and I'm going to get you through this. Derek and George and Christina and all of us are going to get you through this."
"No Izzie. Derek is not getting me through this. I ended it with Derek. It's over." Meredith said wiping a tear away.
"Meredith, I'm here for you. But when you feel better, you need to talk to Derek." Izzie said.
"No, I don't. I need to focus on my mother's death. My mother is dead and there is nothing I can do about it. Now if you could just hand me the phone I can make the appropriate phone calls." Meredith grabbed a pen and paper from her night stand.
"Who do you have to call?" Izzie was curious. She knew now, what it was like for Meredith to try and help her when Denny died.
"I have to call her attorney and get the funeral set up. I need to just call a few people." Meredith said in a frozen tone.
"Ok. Well, let me know if you need anything. I'm going to go get you some water and a sandwich and I need you to eat it. Got it?" Izzie said but Meredith was already waiting for the person on the other end to answer.
Izzie went down to the kitchen. She made the sandwich and took it to Meredith. Meredith ate it, but said very few words for the few hours after. Izzie tried to stay by her friend's side, but she needed to be alone.
Two days later the funeral for Ellis Grey was held. It seemed as if half of the hospital was there. Dr. Webber, Dr. Bailey, Derek, Burke, George, Izzie, and Christina attended. Meredith sat in the front row, trying her hardest not to cry. Izzie and Christina sat on both sides of her, holding her hands. Derek sat two rows behind her.
The Wake was held at Meredith's home. Izzie baked three batches of cookies, two cakes, three batches of brownies and a cheesecake. Burke and Christina brought a tray of cold cuts and rolls. Everyone who came brought a lot of food, because that is supposed to help.
Meredith greeted everyone while putting on a happy face. Although Izzie and George took charge of making sure everything ran smoothly, Meredith could not help making sure everything was ok in the kitchen.
"Meredith, we can get this." Izzie said trying to get Meredith out of the kitchen.
"Can you stop? Please? I need to do this, so you can go and talk and socialize. But I need to do this. I need to keep busy and I need to be alone. I'm sorry, but I need to be alone." Meredith picked up a stalk of celery and began to cut it.
"Ok, if you need us we will be out there." Izzie walked out.
A few minutes later, Meredith heard someone walk in. "Izzie, I promise I'm gonna be…"
She turned around and there he was. He was standing there and it broke her heart. He walked over to her and removed the knife and celery from her hand.
"Derek." She tried not to show anger, but it came through. He had done nothing wrong
"Meredith, don't do this. You know you don't want to. I know this is hard on you and I want to be here for you and get you through it. I just need you to talk to me." He put his arm around her.
"I can't talk to you right now, maybe later tonight, but not now." She picked up the tray of veggies and walked out of the kitchen.
He was left standing there. As she walked out he watched her hair flow with her. She was beautiful and he loved her. He needed her and they needed each other.
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Later that night after everyone was done cleaning up from the rough day, Derek helped George take extra chairs back down to the basement. Meredith helped dry dishes in the kitchen with Izzie.
Derek stopped by the kitchen, "Meredith, I'm going to take this chair back to the office. I'll be in your room if you want to talk."
Meredith shivered, "Okay, I'll be up in a few. Let me just clean up."
Meredith had not cried all day. She had not even cried since the moment her mother died. Her friends were worried about her, she was so quiet.
After a few minutes Izzie finally said, "Meredith we have this under control down here."
"Okay." Meredith slowly headed up the stairs.
When she reached her room, Derek was sitting at the end of her bed.
"Meredith." He looked at her and reached for her hand.
"I'm….I…I just…." She could not get the words out. She began to sob and he took her into his arms.
"I'm sorry Meredith. I'm sorry that this happened. I love you." He kissed her forehead as she cried. He knew that this was not the kind of pain that healed or went away.
"I love you Derek. I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what to do. I though shutting you out would make sense." She cried as she spoke. "It made it worse. I need you."
"I know. I need you too. I love you Meredith." He reached for her hand.
As she began to cry some more, he pulled her further onto the bed. They fell asleep together.
OK….I hope this worked for all of you readers!!!!! I could not let them have too much space!!!