Someone reviewed and mentioned that Rory and Jess hadn't been together for two chapters, so hopefully this will appease them. Additionally, I've been fiddling with the idea of reformatting this story – new title (after careful consideration I've realized it just doesn't work how I want it to), combining chapters since they are so short, and other changes. But we'll see.

Oh, and for whatever reason, my various italics and certain marks are disappearing when I post. I'll try and catch all of the things missing.

Eternal Flame
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain.

Rain poured down in furious sheets, but Jess hardly noticed the wetness as he walked around Stars Hollow. It was almost one in the morning, but he already knew that any attempts at sleep would be futile in his current state of mind. His mind felt frenzied and miserable at the same time. Shaking his head, Jess shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn leather jacket and continued his aimless stroll.

His fury at being kept in the dark about anything concerning his life had brought him to Liz's door in a towering rage only two hours ago. Standing in the rain on her front porch he'd demanded answers regarding the mysterious message on Luke's answering machine. Who was Karen? Why did she want to meet him? Why did Liz think he would understand and why did Luke think he wouldn't?

She'd ushered him in, her face ashen as she sat down at the kitchen table with him. Her hands had trembled, her voice shook, and she'd uttered a statement that had rocked his world.

"I'm not your real mother."

When Jess had heard her words, he waited for the shock to set in. Certainly this was a situation in which shock would be an appropriate reaction. But he hadn't felt it at all. In fact, all he'd felt was anger and resentment. Not only had they lied to him all of his life, but he had been subjected to a crazy existence from a mother that wasn't even his. All the drugs, the men, the vagrant lifestyle she led… none of that was ever meant for him. Yet he'd had to endure it because of Jimmy's mistakes.

Jess laughed humorlessly. Most people would be upset that they had been deceived. Jess was, but he was madder that he'd stayed with Liz for so long when the only reason he was staying—because she was his mother—wasn't even true.

He hadn't meant to, but he'd lashed out at Liz more strongly than ever before. Normally he treated her with sneering indifference and walked out when she said or did something he didn't like. This time he shouted angrily at her, blaming her for all the pain and misery in his life. T.J. had come running at Jess's heated tone and volume of voice, though the sight of Jess yelling at the top of his lungs in his kitchen had stopped him dead in his tracks.

"WHY? Why did I live with you instead of her?" He roared.

"She wasn't in a position to take you, Jess! She didn't want you! But I did!" Liz cried, tears streaming down her face.

"A whole lot of good that did me, didn't it?" He'd shot back, and her face fell.

The night had continued in a similar vein with Jess standing in Liz and TJ's kitchen yelling at her until he had no words or voice left. Most of it hadn't made a lot of sense, but he'd just been so angry. This life he'd been forced to lead was arbitrary. It never had to be his. The unfairness of it all just killed him.

When there wasn't anything left to say he had left quickly, leaving in his wake a sobbing Liz and confused/shocked T.J.. And now here he was, wandering around Stars Hollow—which he had referred to as his own personal hell on more than one occasion—in the rain because he didn't know what to do. He wanted to go to Rory, but he wasn't sure that was an option. Would him going to her tonight change her mind in some way? He wasn't sure, and he didn't want to find out the answer just yet. And though he'd decided to play nice for now, there was still that incident at Truncheon Books the two of them needed to resolve. He was still angry, especially when he thought of her using him to hurt Logan or when he recalled her words ('I just… I'm in love with him. Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it'). It made his blood boil.

There is only one thing to do, Jess decided firmly. He would go to the bridge, because it was the only place that he could be at a time like this. At the bridge, he could at least feel close to Luke and Rory, the only people he honestly loved.

As he walked Jess wondered if he'd unconsciously known all along that Liz wasn't his real mother. Their relationship had never been close, though maybe that was because Liz secretly resented him for Jimmy's indiscretion.

The sound of fading footsteps interrupted Jess's thoughts, and he was surprised to see Rory in the distance, as though he'd willed her to appear. She was clearly making her way to the bridge and, judging by the determination and firmness in her step, he was fairly sure she hadn't seen him.

Frozen where he stood his heart ached as she quickly walked in the opposite direction. He desperately wanted to stop her, knowing that only she could take this misery and make it okay. Instead Jess watched her diminishing back. He loved her, but she was complicated. It was better for him to wait till she came to him. Rory wasn't the type of girl that could be crowded. She took time to make decisions, especially decisions of the heart. And he knew that being with him would be a risk for her, just as being with her would be a risk for him. But despite their history he wanted to make it work, if and when she was ready.

He considered walking back to Luke's diner, but the thought of sitting alone in the stuffy apartment made him feel even more miserable. Besides, Jess thought grimly, the rain is fitting. Instead he headed towards the gazebo at the center of Star Hollow. Sitting down on the wet bench, he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the despondency haunting him.

"What do you mean she wasn't in a position to take me?"

"Oh Jess, she was in college and had a bright future in front of her. A baby wasn't part of her plan."

"You took in a baby from another woman? A woman that your husband had cheated on you with?"

"Well, I wasn't sure at first, but then I saw you and I couldn't let her put you up for adoption. Jess, I did this for you!" Her eyes had pleaded with him, begging him to understand and to stop yelling.

"For me? FOR ME?" He'd screamed, and another rant had begun.

He'd almost fallen asleep while reliving his heated encounter with Liz when he heard footsteps again. Rory was quickly moving toward him, crossing the grass to the gazebo. She was soaking wet, her long hair and clothing plastered to her body. She's still beautiful, he thought.

When she reached the stairs, she glanced up at him, wearing a shy look. He nodded quickly and she walked up the stairs, her intensely blue eyes watching his every move.

She sat down, and Jess resisted the urge to move closer to her.

"I was looking for you." Her words surprised him, but a small feeling of hope replaced the crushing sadness that he previously couldn't shake.

"Why?"

Rory scooted closer and looked into his eyes. "I needed a friend," she replied honestly.

Her worlds shattered his heart. There it was, out in the open and plain for him to hear. She only wanted to be his friend, when he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her. But he'd lost the chance a long time ago, before he'd even known what he had. He should have known, but when it came to Rory, he just couldn't help himself. Even when he was furious with her, he loved her wholeheartedly.

Taking a deep breath, he mustered every bit of strength he had left, though it wasn't much after tonight's events. He had told her they could be friends if she decided not to be with him, and he had to respect that she didn't love him anymore. That their chance had been ruined long ago.

Rory glanced at Jess's face, and though he desperately tried to control his emotions, his face was anything but passive. His slight scowl had deepened and his body had tensed. Realizing his potential misinterpretation of her words, Rory smiled and placed a reassuring hand on his thigh. Her touch was warm and tingles emanated and spread from the point of contact. Suddenly Jess felt like he was sweating, despite the rain, wind, and his wet clothes.

"You look like you could use a friend too," Rory ventured softly, and he wanted to laugh at the irony of the statement but chose not to.

"Maybe." It was as close as he could come to actually admitting that he needed someone, but he knew she understood. Somehow Rory always understood him, even when she didn't realize she understood. Or even when she was breaking his heart.

She removed her hand, and Jess felt the coldness seep in once again. But she didn't place her hand at her side as he assumed she would. Instead her fingers hovered above his hand and she stared into his eyes, asking for permission. He didn't make a noise as he entwined his fingers with hers, wondering what she was thinking.

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asked. Her tone was light, but he knew she could tell something was wrong.

Jess glanced at her, torn with indecision. Finally, he responded, "A small part of me is still angry at you."

Her surprised expression revealed her confusion and for a moment, he felt that bubbling fury rising once more. How could she forget what had happened in Philadelphia? She continued to stare blankly at him until he elaborated. "Jeez Rory! The kiss at Truncheon Books," he spit out, scowling.

Her face immediately became apologetic, and she began to apologize. "Oh Jess! I'm so sorry about that. I was just so confused and I came to you, but I should have known what you would think…" She trailed off, watching him intently once more.

He said nothing because she was right. She should have known how it would look for her to come to Philadelphia alone, especially when she was claiming that things were 'fixed.' It was foolish, but Jess assumed at the time that part of fixing her life had been dumping that blonde jerk and being with him. She should have remembered that night in Stars Hollow when he first told her he loved her. He'd meant it then and he meant it now. Even if he'd been too young to really understand the depth of it the first time, he'd meant it nevertheless. And at the bridge, he understood it more completely than he'd ever wanted to.

She shifted uncomfortably, indicating her uneasiness, but Jess willed himself to remain silent. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt her, but he didn't think it was unreasonable to want her experience a small fraction of the distress that she often caused him. She needed to recognize that she hurt him and that wasn't acceptable. And that he wasn't always going to forgive and forget.

"I know I hurt you," she said cautiously.

A humorless laugh almost slipped though, but he held it back, and waited.

"I never meant to, I promise. I just… when you're around I do stupid things. I use the fact that I think you love me against you, and I don't even know why I would do that because I'm normally a very nice person and I hate people like that. I run away or run to you and only end up hurting the both of us because whatever I do, it's always the wrong thing. I run away when I shouldn't and run to you when I shouldn't. And I just don't know why. I'm such a fool for you," she muttered the final line and Jess could tell she was close to tears, her body shaking in the cold.

Her reply wasn't what he was expecting, but it was more than enough. He gently rubbed his thumb against her hand, caressing the skin. She smiled, and wiped a few tears away with her other hand.

"Liz isn't my real mother." The words felt and sounded surreal as he said them.

Rory's mouth formed a small 'o' as she gasped. "What?"

"After I closed the diner, I listened to Luke's machine. Liz had left a message about someone named Karen who wanted to meet me. So I went to her and she told me."

She squeezed his hand, silently urging him to go on.

"I yelled at her. I don't think I've ever been so mad in my entire life. I just hate knowing that all of my experiences were so arbitrary. My life in New York, my life in Stars Hollow… that never had to be mine. My real mom went to college and was successful. My life could have been so different. I could have been so different."

"I'm glad you're not," she whispered and his skin prickled at her words. Something about the way she knew just what to say made him feel like he was seventeen and heady with love again. "Besides, how would I have ever met you if you hadn't come to Stars Hollow?"

"Maybe I would have gone to Yale."

She nodded, indicating that this was a possibility. "Or maybe you would have gotten lost and come to the diner for directions, only to encounter a beautiful coffee addict."

"What? Lorelai?" he joked but could not muster up the right feeling with the words. Rory laughed anyway—maybe to make him feel better or maybe because she didn't notice—and slugged him on his shoulder with her free hand. He suspected she was simply playing along; the smile on her face looked forced.

"I think we were meant to meet each other," Rory declared.

"Why's that?" He asked slowly. There were a lot of implications that one could draw from that statement, and he didn't want to get the wrong (though opposite) idea like before.

"How else would I read Hemingway?" she teased. "And who would call my precious Ayn Rand crazy?"

"She is crazy," he muttered, and she slugged him again.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me more about tonight."

He glanced at her and could tell that her request was sincere. He cleared his throat and began to quietly talk about the night, elaborating and confessing some of his worries. Rory listened, only speaking occasionally for clarification.

"Are you going to meet her?"

"Huh?"

"Karen, your real mother. Are you going to meet her?"

Jess realized that he'd been so wrapped up in how angry the situation made him feel that he hadn't even remembered why Karen had even come up in the first place. She wanted to meet him.

"I don't know."

"I think you should."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

The two sat in the gazebo holding hands for a long time, talking about literature and music. Jess was grateful; he could only handle so many confessions in one night. Eventually he realized that it was three o'clock in the morning.

"Rory, it's late."

"I know… and I'm freezing and hungry."

As casually as he could manage, Jess replied, "Well, there's some food in the diner."

He wasn't sure how she would interpret this, but she only nodded and said, "Okay. To the diner then."

A/N: So I hope the twist was believable for everyone! I personally have an issue with cousins and relationships, even if it's only step-cousins by marriages, so I just had to incorporate this story line since I plan on working things out between Luke and Lorelai. Besides, I wanted to have something special going on with Jess, since Rory's rediscovery is all her own.