Standing on the Edge of Morning

Scent of sex and New Found Glory playing as she's pulling back her hair.

The bell above the door of the diner chimed as Jess unlocked the door, and Rory smiled at its familiar sound. Jess moved toward the back to start the grill, so she slid into a seat at the front counter. A small smile flashed on his face as he saw her sitting there; it brought back a lot of good memories.

"So, ma'am, what will it be?" Jess asked in sarcastic voice, his imaginary pen poised on the pad.

Grinning, Rory answered, "Well, may I please see a menu?"

Jess groaned in response, handing over a plastic menu. "Rory, you eat here almost everyday."

"Wow, such service," she replied as she perused the diner menu she knew by heart. "Well, I think I want some soup."

Jess stared at her as if she had grown three heads. He didn't even know that she knew that she could eat soup.

She glanced around her, unsure of what he was staring at. "What?" she asked.

"Soup, Gilmore?"

"Well, I'm cold. We just spent two hours in the rain. And I ate soup all the time at DAR meetings…" she trailed off as Jess raised an eyebrow at her, a blush quickly rising to her cheeks. "Make that a burger with fries and any sort of pie you can manage. And maybe turn up the heat," she added with a shiver.

"Be right back." He climbed the stairs to the apartment, grabbing a couple towels and pausing to adjust the thermometer. When he returned to the downstairs, Rory was idly doodling on the counter with her finger, clearly in thought. He wondered if she was thinking about Logan but pushed the thought aside because he knew that he had no reason to be jealous, even if Logan was a bastard that didn't deserve her love.

He placed a towel on the counter and she faintly smiled in his direction, though he could tell his presence and the towel had barely registered in her whirling thoughts.

He let his own thoughts wander as he cooked her burger and fries, thinking about Karen. His real mom. He didn't know why, but he suddenly wondered if it was Liz or Karen that had named him. Maybe if he had stayed with Karen he would have been a Kevin or a John… or even worst, a Dean or a Logan. Jess scowled at the thought, though he knew it was a little immature. Ha, at the very worst I could have been a Tristan.

He was finally coming to terms with the recent development in his life, though he still felt as bewildered as he had when Liz had first told him. He had finally been getting a hold on things, finally building up his life from the ashes it had started in, only to find that everything that made him might have never been meant for him. I should have known something like this would have happen, he scolded himself. Trouble followed Jess Mariano, even when he wasn't the one causing it.

Absentmindedly, he wondered what Karen looked like. He'd met his father and had seen a lot of himself in Jimmy, both physically and in personality. What parts of himself would he see in Karen? Of course, that was assuming he decided to meet her. He wasn't much for family, and he was certain this meeting would be just as awkward as all his encounters with family members.

But he had to, even if it was just for curiosity's sake. He needed to see her and know why she'd given him up. Jess needed a reason for his life, so he could shake that faint feeling of hopelessness that plagued him every time the thought of the randomness of his life came rushing forth.

Meanwhile, Rory continued to get lost in her own thoughts. Tonight she'd gone determinedly looking for Jess and had found him but now felt rather confused on why she had come in the first place. When she'd left, the plan had been to inform him of her and Logan's break-up. But now she wasn't quite sure what to do or say, mostly because she was unsure of what telling him meant or how he would react. Would he think she was ready to be with him now? Was she ready to be with him instead? Would it work out this time? There are so many unanswered questions to contend with, she thought irately.

Besides, she reminded herself silently, you decided that you needed closure with Logan before you started anything with Jess. But she hadn't had the courage to dial Logan's number quite yet, though his number continued to flash on her cell phone every day, though far less frequently than before.

This last part scared her, as she knew it indicated that Logan was losing interest in her and making up. Despite her resolution that breaking up would probably be for the best, she was scared to lose his love, even if she was gaining Jess's. Logan had been a huge part of her life, and ending things with him would be the final act proving that the last year and a half had been a waste. That would be a hard realization to face, especially for someone like herself. She'd always taken pride in the choices she made, convincing herself that they were the right ones for her. It was only lately that she was beginning to realize that sometimes she chose the worst.

Sighing, Rory shook her head in frustration, resting it on the counter. She had to resist the urge to bang it against the hard surface, knowing it would only attract attention from Jess. She needed to gather her thoughts first.

She needed to decide what she would say when she actually did call Logan, especially when he asked why she hadn't answered his numerous calls. No matter what excuse she gave, he would be angry and she didn't want that. She didn't want their last interaction to be characterized by angry, irrational screams of blame and resentment. Preferably, she wanted to end on a mutual agreement that this was for the best, and that what they'd had together had been good while it lasted.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jess asked dryly, disturbing her reverie, when he'd finished making the burger and fries. He'd spent most of the time thinking about Karen and watching Rory out of the corner of his eye, almost amused by her visible internal struggle. He just wasn't sure what she was struggling about, though he had a fairly good idea. And for some reason, he felt frustrated by her confusion and indecision There shouldn't be a struggle. She should know that she was meant to be with him.

"Oh!" Rory jumped, bumping her head against the counter in the process as Jess deposited the plate of fries and burger in front of her. "Ow! Well, no. More like, well, whatever is smaller than a penny."

"Well, most foreign currency then," he deadpanned, though once again, his heart wasn't in it. She didn't even bother laughing, though a weak smile appeared on her face for a moment.

"Anything you want to talk about? You look like you could use a friend," he asked, using her words from earlier. Out of habit, he began wiping down the counter with a moistened rag though he'd cleaned the counter only a few hours ago. A voice in the back of his head told him to sit next to her, but Jess thought the better of it. Him behind the counter, her in front of it; that had always been their dynamic.

"Logan broke up with me," she said tentatively, testing the words as they filled the air. They felt strange forming in her mouth, but she felt emboldened by them too. Initially she'd felt so sad that their relationship had ended, but now she was suddenly filled by a sense of a hope.

Jess raised an eyebrow, fighting the fervent smile that was threatening to take over his face. He hadn't realized that it would happen this soon, but he couldn't deny that it pleased him. A lot. "I see," he said stoically.

His short words were not what she expected and a large wave of disappointment washed over her. She glanced away to hide her unhappy expression, missing the corners of his lips shifting up. Her disappointment became anger as she processed his reaction. 'I see,' she silently fumed. That's it? Unable to restrain herself, she said, "Is that all you're going to say about it? 'I see'? "

"What do you want me to say, Rory?" he asked, a small frown forming on his face at her words. "Do you want me to jump up and down? Do you want me to dance around the diner in joy? Let me tell you, I'm glad it's over. Really glad. But I'm not going to be a jerk about it. I'm bigger than that." He crossed his arms over his chest, and Rory could physically see and feel him closing up.

Immediately, she felt regretful about her reaction to his response. His message regarding her behavior was loud and clear, and sadly, correct. Jess was being mature about the situation; it was her who was acting like they were seventeen again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just expected more is all."

"Maybe that's your problem."

"What?" She asked in surprise.

"Expectations. You always have them for everything in your life. And then when anything or anyone fails to meet them, you're disappointed. You're like Pip."

"I am hardly Pip," she replied crossly. "And I'm sorry if I expected some sort of positive reaction to the fact that the only person standing in the way of us getting together is finally gone."

Her words reminded him of Dean's words so long ago at the Dance Marathon and he visibly stiffened at the memory. He wasn't quite proud of the way that he and Rory had acted, though he still didn't like Bag Boy. And he still thought he was a jerk for breaking up with in front of everyone like that, though Jess secretly believed that he probably would have reacted the same way if he had been placed in the same situation. He vaguely wondered whatever happened to Dean but decided that tonight was not a good night to ask.

"Look." Jess ran his hand though his hair. "It's been a really long night. I'm happy about you and Logan breaking up, you know I am. I just have a lot going on."

Rory nodded, her negative feelings disappearing. She should have known after tonight that he wouldn't be ready to hear that. It was all too much, and she understood completely. "Well, I should leave." She glanced down at her barely touched food, and smiled apologetically. "Tomorrow I'll eat, I promise. Maybe I'll even pay…"

Her announcement of departure surprised him. He hadn't realized that she would think that he wanted her to leave; he only wanted to stop fighting for a while. A fleeting look at the clock revealed that it was almost four o'clock and he silently sighed. When she left, his mind would be assaulted of thoughts of Karen and Liz and he wasn't sure he could handle that.

"You don't have to go…"

"Yeah?" Her eyes bored into him, and he felt almost uncomfortable under her stare.

"Yeah. We could watch a movie."

Rory looked surprised. "Luke owns movies?"

"Huh. Probably not."

"Well then…." Rory rose from her chair, slowly making her way to the door.

As the she let the words trail out and the silence fill the room, Jess realized that Rory was testing him. She wanted him to do something that demonstrated his feelings for her. But he thought that was ridiculous.

Hadn't she heard him that night on the bridge? Was she blind to his attraction to her? No one sane person put up with the way she treated him unless love was involved. But as he saw her shoulders lower slightly as she opened the diner door, he caved in.

"You know, the sun will be rising soon… and I know how to get on Luke's roof."

Rory turned back to face him, a large smile on her face. "Okay."

After retrieving some blankets and pillows from the apartment's linen closet, the two climbed a set of dusty stairs that lead to the roof of Luke' diner.

"Did you used to come here a lot? When you used to live in Stars Hollow?"

"Yeah. I liked to think up here."

"It's nice."

Jess handed Rory a few blankets, and she stared at them in surprise. "Why so many?"

"Well, I don't know if you remember, but it was raining earlier," Jess replied sarcastically. Rory simply stuck out her tongue and the two settled down on the roof, watching the small ball of light on the horizon slowly rise. Jess was pleased to see that Rory lay closer than he thought she would, their arms barely touching.

"Hey Jess?" she asked sleepily, sinking into the comfortable blankets. Her eyes felt heavy, but she didn't want to miss the beautiful vision before her. She wondered why she'd never done this before, but neither Dean nor Logan seemed like the type to watch sunrises or sunsets. Of course, neither did Jess, she thought with amusement as her eyes began to close.

"Yeah?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Her question caught him off guard and he watched Rory for a moment, taking in her appearance. She was snuggled into the blankets, blue eyes barely open. Her hair was wild, having dried in a funky shape from not being brushed. But somehow, she still managed to look pretty.

"I guess I want to be someone who can be trusted. Someone who can be loved."

She quietly giggled. "That's not what I meant. But it'll do. I want to be like that too."

"You are already," he responded softly.

"I was maybe… but not anymore. Jess?"

"Yeah, Rory?"

"Do you think we'll make it work this time?"

His heart leapt at her words. It wasn't an actual statement in writing or anything, but it was good enough for now. "I promise you we will," he wholeheartedly said. If she was willing to give him the chance, he was willing to give the relationship his all. He was willing to be all in, if that's what it took to make it work. "Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're broken up with Logan."

She flashed him a sleepy smile before replying. "So am I. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. It feels… good. I almost feel like me again."

"Rory?"

"Yeah?" she asked, her voice even fainter than before. She snuggled closer to him, and he felt her warmth emanating though the blankets.

"I'm willing to wait."

He watched as she smiled and closed her eyes all the way. "I know. But you don't have to."

Jess continued to watch her sleep, smiling as she began to snore. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, he pulled out his yellow writing pad and pencil. Poising his pen, he began writing in the rising summer light.

A/N: Well, I decided to update tonight at the request of a reviewer who was kind enough to IM me:) I know the story is moving slow, but this is how I want to do it. I want them to be friends first, though I'm throwing in a small romantic moment to encourage you all to not lose hope!

Oh, and I abandoned the 80's theme. I got bored of listening to it so often, trying to find lyrics.

I'm planning on changing the title of the story – either Learning to Fly (Tom Petty) or God Only Knows (Beach Boys/Mandy Moore). Let me know which song you think fits best!