Chapter 9

Jag was gone.

It was the first thing that hit her mind when Jaina awoke the next morning. She opened her eyes but didn't move, carefully examining her surroundings. His side of the bed was empty, all right, but still warm, letting her know that he hadn't been absent long. She ran a wearied hand over her face and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. She was so confused.

Not to mention tired. The night before was a blur of passion and pleasure in her mind, with no distinct beginning or end. She remembered little of the details, but what she did made her blush at the memory. It was more like impressions of untamed emotion, raw and fierce with their intensity. She slowly sat up, wincing at the sore muscles unused to such activity. The room was empty and the rest of the house quiet. Where could he be?

Then she noticed the faint sound of running water. She looked and, sure enough, the light in the 'fresher could be seen under the crack of the door. She felt a twinge of resentment that he had left her by herself, but soon banished it. She slid out from under the covers and into her robe and padded drowsily into the kitchen.

She proceeded to fix herself a pot of caf. As it percolated she leaned heavily against the counter, deep in thought. She wasn't quite sure about what everything meant. It was all so fast and confusing…

But it hadn't been confusing then. It had seemed completely straightforward. When he had kissed her, she had known exactly what she wanted…

Did she want the same thing now? Jaina didn't know. Last night she had felt like she could never love anything as much as she loved him. But now reality was seeming to sink in, and she wondered if they hadn't made a terrible mistake.

Suddenly a pair of muscular arms wrapped themselves around her torso, and a kiss settled itself warmly against the side of her neck. Jaina smiled, and her apprehensions faded away like water in the Tatooine sun. "Who is this?" she asked teasingly.

Jag laughed lightly. "Take a wild guess."

"Hmm," Jaina said thoughtfully. She turned herself around in his embrace, pulling him lower to where she could claim his lips with hers. They leaned back against the counter, caught that way until he finally pulled away.

"So," he asked mischievously, "any guesses?"

Jaina threw her head back with laughter. "A few." They kissed again, but this time lightly and just for a moment before he extracted himself completely. "Caf?" she asked as he moved to sit at the small breakfast table.

"Please," he consented.

She fixed him a steaming mug—black, just the way he liked it—and set it down on the table in front of him before going back to fix her own. "Are you going to work today?" she asked.

He shook his head a negative. "I doubt I could concentrate much. I figured I'd just spend the day here with you."

Jaina smiled. "All day?"

He grinned back, catching her drift. "All day." She came back to the table and set her own mug down. As she moved to take a seat her caught her around the waist and drew her into a kiss. She seated herself across his lap, straddling him. The kiss grew more and more involved, and she found herself being laid back across the table. She had no longer touched the wood than the door chimed. Jag grunted angrily, throwing the hatch a menacing glare. "Shh," he instructed. "If we're quiet maybe they'll go away."

Jaina acquiesced, but in a few moments it rang again. Reluctantly she pushed him off of her and sat up. "You might as well answer it," she sighed. Glowering, he marched angrily into the living room and hit the control pad. Jaina followed.

On the other side of the door was a smiling Syal Antilles Fel. "Well good morning!" she said, quite chipper. "How are you two this morning?"

"Actually, we were just—" Jag began.

"We were just talking about Jag taking a day off. He's a little under the weather," Jaina finished, shooting Jag a look.

"Oh," Syal said, reaching to feel her son's forehead. "Are you okay? You don't seem to have a temperature. What's wrong?"

"Just a stomachache," he replied. "I'll be fine. Do you need something, Mother?"

"Oh, I was going to see if Jaina wanted to go shopping with Wyn and I, but I see that I'm clearly needed here. If you're sick, you're going to need someone to take care of you so you will be healthy when they ship you off again." She moved past the two teenagers and into the apartment.

Jaina and Jag exchanged alarmed looks, then Jag took a step towards his mother. "Really, Mom, I'm fine. You go ahead and go shopping. Jaina's here if I need anything."

"Nonsense. I can't let her be fetching for you all day long. She has her own life. Now, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Syal, I think he'll be fine," Jaina said carefully. "He just wanted a day off as much as anything. Really, it's fine."

"Yeah," Jag agreed, taking her arm and steering her towards the door. "We can handle it."

Syal stopped at the doorway and gave them suspicious looks. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No." (Jaina)

"Yes." (Jag) They said at the same time.

Syal furrowed her brow. "What's going on, here? Are you two fighting again?"

"Yes!" Jaina exclaimed. "That's it. But it's just a little disagreement. Nothing to worry about."

"We've go it covered," Jag agreed. "We just need some time alone to work it out."

Jaina nodded vigorously. "That's why he's taking the day off. We just have to discuss some things."

"Okay," Syal said dubiously. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

"We will," Jaina promised. Jag palmed the door shut quickly, leaving Syal standing in the hallway. For a few seconds they just stood there. Then Jaina giggled. Then she giggled again. After a few minutes they were both doubled over with laughter, and it took a good half hour to recover from their mirth.

Jaina lay on the bed, watching him. He had been on the computer for an hour at least, "making at least a little progress for the day". She didn't know what he was working on, and frankly didn't care. The only thing she did care about was that it was keeping him from her. And that could not be tolerated.

She rose slowly, sauntering her way to where he sat at the desk in their room. She stood behind him, looking at the screen and resting her hands on his shoulders. When he didn't look up or acknowledge her, she studied the screen more intently, curious as to what had Jag so preoccupied. When she realized what it was, she backed up, feeling shock and even a little betrayal.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

He turned to face her, as if realizing she was there for the first time. He swallowed hard. "It has to be taken care of, like it or not."

Jaina frowned, wanting an outlet for her frustration. "Today? It has to be taken care of today?"

"It does if I'm leaving tomorrow."

Jaina didn't know whether to yell at him or cry. "Why?" she managed finally.

Jag shrugged. "I can't help these things, Jaina."

Suspicion suddenly blossomed in her chest. "That's why you wanted to stay with me today, isn't it? You already knew you were leaving, and didn't tell me! Is that what last night was about, too?" she asked, feeling nauseated at the thought.

"No!" he exclaimed, jumping from the chair. "How can you think that?"

"What am I supposed to think?" she asked.

His countenance became stern. "I don't think you're thinking at all."

Her despair flared quickly into anger. "I don't have to stand here and listen to this—"

She turned to leave, but he was there in an instant, taking her by the arm and holding her back. Jaina jerked violently, but he held firm, drawing her closer until there wasn't a breath between them. He looked directly into her eyes, but she couldn't meet his gaze. "Hey," he said, much more kindly than before. "Look at me." She raised her head to look at him sullenly. "I don't ever want to hear you suggest something like that again. You understand?" She furrowed her brow and looked away again, refusing to speak. He sighed. "I know you're mad at me. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. But it's as hard for me to face as it is you. Do you think I want to leave you here, to go off when I might never come back? Especially now? I don't. But I'm going to make the best of it, and so are you."

Jaina sighed and lowered her head until her forehead rested against his shoulder. It was hard enough to have him gone before. But now? She didn't know how she would make it. But that was a weakness she wasn't about to show. She could be just as brave as Jag. She was just as brave as Jag. Slowly she lifted her gaze until their eyes locked. "I can handle this like an adult, Jagged Fel. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

He grinned and kissed her softly. "I would be worried more if you did."

"Is that the last bag?" Jag asked, surveying the contents of his squadron's belongings. They were all packed into a loader that would store them on a cruiser that they would be traveling on in hyperspace. No one had packed much. They didn't require it. That was just the Chiss way.

He had said his goodbyes that morning, leaving a forlorn Jaina at their apartment. He knew it was difficult for her, but he had faith that she would be all right. It was in her nature to overcome obstacles, and this was just another in a long line. She would be fine.

"Just one more."

Jag froze at the sound of the voice. He closed his eyes and took a long breath, hoping beyond all hopes that he was mistaken.

He wasn't.

He let the breath he had been holding out in a long rush. Jaina stood in the midst of his soldiers, a duffle bag slung across her shoulder and a roguish grin pasted on her face. "Jaina," he said softly. "What are you doing?"

She took a step forward and slung her bag into the loader. "I'm taking back control of my life. I'm not going to be jerked around anymore. You're my husband. Where you go, I go."

He was already shaking his head. "You can't do that."

"Why?"

He pondered her question for a minute, searching for an answer that would satisfy her. "Because it goes against protocol. You can't just order your way around. That's a military vessel. No one's going to cater to you."

"Who said anything about being catered to?" she asked. "I can live just like the rest of you. Besides, nothing you say is going to change my mind, even if I have to use a mind trick and stow away. I'm not being left behind again."

She had that look in her eye, the one that wanted to make Jag wince. Her jaw was set and the skin around her eyes tight, her lips pursed, daring. He didn't know whether to be scared or laugh. Finally he cracked a smile. "I don't suppose making that an order is going to help any."

She shook her head a definite negative.

"You do realize what kind of danger you're placing yourself in? And me? I'm going to have to neglect my duties because of this."

"I promise not to get in the way," she said, sliding an arm around his waist and guiding him to their transport. "I'll stay completely out of sight. You won't even know I'm there."