Let's be honest here for one second. We've all heard this comment from tons of people. From loved ones, to accepted family members, to arch enemies… Heck, from people you've never met before in your life! It seems to be one of the criteria of living in this crazy thing called life.
Three words in this exact order:
GO TO HELL!
And being the natural born adventurers we are, I think we should toss our pride aside, and give those people what they want! So here you go friends! Here's a ticket to the hottest plane of existence known to the living world. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…
The fiery fate of evil!
The darkest depth of destruction!
The super-sized sauna of suffering!
I simply give you… Hell…
"This is an outrage!" A voice rumbled throughout said place, fire and brimstone shooting out from flaming geysers. "Demons of the darkness! Report at once!"
Oh boy Trigon was mad. And sure, Mr. Devil was always mad. But today, he was extra agitated. The deadline for the End of the World was coming. And his servant of the Prophecy wasn't here for this really really really important meeting.
"Sir yes sir!" A group of elite demonic soldiers yelled clumsily with their flaming heads sparkling like torches in the night.
"Where's Slade?" Their four eyed master yelled from the skies.
"We… uh, we… can't seem to find him…" His demons replied, shaking wildly in fear.
Thank goodness Demons do not have to do the unpleasant business no?
An impatient tapping came from above. "Come on! You Incubi and Succubae can find that perfect little helpless victim? But you can't find a freakin' one eyed skeleton warrior with black and gold armor?"
"…"
"You're all pathetic!" Trigon sighed, those eyes in the skies deflating. "You know how embarrassing it is? God's angels are at worst competent. You all can't even match that! Ugh, help is so hard to find these days."
"Tell me about it 'master'." A certain one eyed someone answered from afar. "Try finding mortal apprentices why don't you?"
"Slade!" Trigon spazzed, his eyes strolling across the firey plane. "You're late!"
"All apologies evil one," His voice had more sarcasm then a Jim Carrey movie had laughs. "But Hell is just so pleasant. I needed to walk around and admire the view."
"The view?" Trigon smirked. "Speaking of which, the seventh ring needs a little work doesn't it?"
"I'd say so," Slade shoved the demons aside like trash. "Maybe some more torture holes? Oh and by the way, that doubling of human skeletons was a nice touch in the sacrificial pit."
"Why thank you very much," Trigon suddenly took his dark human form, seeping out of the dirt ground. "You know Slade some people just don't appreciate beings with great decorating tastes. Ya know back in the day I used to decorate… Hey, wait a sec!" Those four eyes glared red. "Silence! Stop changing the subject! The time of mortals is-"
"Is at an end, yada yada yada. I got it the first fifty times." Slade sat upon a firey chair nearby, opening up a "The Abyss Bugle" Newspaper and reading with a leg draped over the knee.
Slade's arrogance was unmatched. Even Satan was getting annoyed.
"Don't worry. Everything is going according to plan." Slade reassured. "As you said, your gem's little birthday is arriving soon. And I memorized all my cryptic lines you told me to remember, and I've even burned that lame S on my forehead."
"Lame S?" Trigon gasped. "That took along time for me to design!"
"Not impressed."
"Oh come on! S for Slade! S for Scath! S for Satan! S for… uh… Super Powerful Demonic guy!"
"…"
"Okay fine, it's a bit uninspired." Trigon admitted. "But just wait till you see my grand finale. That will be the most original apocalypse you will ever see!"
"Original?" Slade questioned as his one eyed glare peeped up. "Are you talking about the flaming meteors? The hoards of demons? Or the lava oceans you're going to create?"
"… It's that predictable?"
Nods.
"Okay servant, I guess it is back to the drawing board. We need something totally-"
"Ahem," Another voice interrupted from across the room. This one wasn't as nearly as unpleasant as these two incarnations of pure evil.
"I do hope I'm not bothering you two on such important matters."
"Arella darling!" Trigon was elated at the presence of his wife, all be it former lover. "How nice of you to join-"
"Save it fool," The mother of our dearest Raven walked into the room, her pure heavenly white attire clashing with everything else inside this Hellhole. "I am surprised you both are so calm about all this."
"Of course I'm calm!" Trigon walked over to her. "The world is ending soon dear. What I've been planning-"
"No you nitwit." Arella crossed her arms. "Your 'gem', my daughter, and the world that you so desperately want to take back in an over dramatic fashion is in peril."
"My, that was a mouthful." Slade muttered, reading his newspaper.
"Just go back to reading vermin." Arella ignored him.
Slade sighed, "And now would be the perfect time to say, 'You didn't say that last night-'"
SLAP! The masked man was now upside down, plowed into the ground headfirst like a golf tee from some well-timed Azarian magic.
"Last night?" Ze Devil squirmed. "Oh Arella please don't tell me-"
"Don't you hear me? Raven is in trouble!"
"Oh pish tosh!" Trigon shrugged. "Our daughter is plenty capable of taking care of her own hide. She's got my genes! Whatever this problem is? She'll take care of it."
"You have no idea what's happening do you?" Arella rolled her eyes. "So typical. Always so self-absorbed! Just use your demonic powers to see exactly what's happening and I assure you… you won't be as calm."
"Huh…"
(Five Minutes Later)
"Gah!" Trigon's quad group of eyes bulged. "Superman against Wonder Woman? Flash against Lantern? This, this is brilliant! Too brilliant even! I hate this! Who are these buffoons that look like arachnid aliens? I mean these villains aren't even of this plain of existence!"
"They are obviously interdimensional intruders brought here by shabby plot writing." Slade muttered.
"Oh…" Trigon blinked. "W-wait a sec, shabby plot writing?"
"Never mind that is irrelevant." Mr. Wilson wisely stopped. "The world is tearing itself apart. Soon there won't be much to take over... master."
"Exactly," Arella cut her empathic visions towards the two evil men. "And I know you wouldn't want that now would you dear?"
"You're right." Trigon pounded his fist. "No one shows me up! I've worked too hard to get everything into place. Slade you must keep an eye on my-"
"I'm already on it 'master'." Slade sat up in compliance, cracking his neck as he began to walk out of the room. "The gem will be safe… for now."
"There you go. That's the spirit!" Trigon bellowed, suddenly turning to Arella and taking her hand. "So, while my servant goes to take care of our daughter. Why don't you and I go on a nice stroll-"
SLAP!
"I'm leaving." Arella left her own mark on Lucifer himself, the demon blankly staring as the feisty woman with little emotion left.
"Ugh, my daughter and my wife are way too alike." Trigon rubbed his cheek.
"She is quite… the handful." Slade finished with one of those suggestive chuckles, smirking as he began to fade out of Hell. The Devil already knew the inclinations of that statement.
"Grrr, I can't wait to double cross that bastard." Trigon roared, noticing a hoard of demons watching the spectacle. "And why are you peons standing around! Don't you have souls to torture! MOVE IT!"
"GAH! YES SIR!" The demons tripped and tumbled their way back to their posts.
"… Note to self…" Trigon sighed, "Next time you make demons? Make them while you're not watching Looney Toons…"
- Arach –
And now it is the song fic portion of our story:
"Enter Badman"
Say your prayers, Raven's done!
Don't forget Venom's son!
Carnage is just way too damn fun!
Blood cuts you in! Deep within!
Carnage's little kin!
Until the World is undone!
Sleep with one eye open! (Like Slade!)
Gripping your bird-a-rang tight! (Like Robin!)
Exit Light!
Enter Night!
Ain't my lyrics a sore?
Hah! We're off to Never Nevermore!
Hahahaha!
-- JB-tallica
( Nevermore )
"Oh noes!" Brave yelped as she was jumping up and down frantically pogo stick style. The green hooded spirit tossed her large bag of potato chips aside, sighing at what she was watching on her mental television set. The live feed of every one of Raven's friends getting their butts kicked being her pet peeve of the moment. Big pet peeve!
"This totally sucks!" Brave kicked the TV set, the monitor blowing up into smithereens. "We got to do something!"
"Chill out green," Burp! Went Gross's belch, "What can we do?" The orange hooded Raven laid back. "We're all gonna die anyway, so let's at least go out with some dignity k?"
"You are so lame." Brave pointed angrily. "We can do something if Raven just let us dammit!"
"But she did let you silly!" Happy said, laying on the couch upside down, so the 'blood' could rush to her head. "She let you kiss Spider-Man…" the pink one suddenly pouted. "Totally unfair!"
"You're probably a horrible kisser." Gross made a scowling face. "That's why it knocked him back to his senses!"
"…"
"Everyone is hurting…" Timid whispered from her corner, sitting coiled up. "Everyone's scared…"
"…. And let the submissive clear up everything for us." Brave moped while clenching her teeth in frustration.
"Calm yourself Sister Bravery." Smart adjusted her glasses while reading. "While it is true that Raven successfully used your spirit to snap Spider-Man out of the spell. I do not believe she has the confidence to unleash us all at once. The risk is too potent."
"Risk?" Brave gasped. "What risk? That Blood guy is going to tear this whole world apart anyway! We need to act and we need to act now!"
"Yay! I love acting! I wanna be Drew Barrymore in Charlie's Angels!" Happy pointed to Timid. "You can be Cameron Diaz and Smart can be Lucy Liu!"
Pause…
Pause…
One more… pause…
"Um," Gross suddenly shoved Happy off to the side quite 'happily'. "Look Rambo Raven, we can't just have that 'run into the room and mow everyone down with RCP 9000 mentality. As much as we all want to help-"
"Speak for yourselves." The dark red Raven muttered in her chains, whistling something that sounded like that Mr. Rogers theme. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood… a beautiful day in the… in the… yada yada yada… I don't remember the rest. That show was creepy anyway.
"Fine, as much as MOST of us want to help." Gross corrected. "We can't! If Raven slips up once with all of us on the outside? Daddy and the Demon Club are going to have a field day with everyone on Earth. And wouldn't that be peachy?"
"I know… I know… I know!" Brave slammed her fist down against the table. "But this isn't right! We can't just sit back while Robin, Spidey, and the gang get their asses kicked! It just… wouldn't be right."
"I want to help as well." Timid whispered. "I don't like seeing him or our friends in pain."
"Very admirable sister," Smart smiled in support.
"That's it! Come on! Even little Ms. Scaredy pants wants to help! If Raven doesn't get her act together we'll all be helpless!"
"I know." Someone new entered the astral room. "And that's why I've decided, that I do need all of your help this time."
The spirits all turned, being as surprised as anyone.
"Finally…" Brave growled. "Now let's go kick some ass!"
- Arach -
What do you get when you mix an immature yet powerful symbiote and an evil man with a bloodline that was destined to rule the world?
Well, you get… you get…
Silence…
Dammit what do you get again? I swore I knew this answer. Anybody have an idea?
"AACK!" was the sound of Venom getting slammed through four walls of reinforced concrete.
Jeez man, don't you hate it when you forget these things? It's like right in your head, but it just won't get out! Seriously it's like so annoy-
"IT'S BLOOD AND TOXIN YOU MORON!" Venom screamed, grumbling as he was trying to get up.
Oh right! Hehe, thanks man. I owe you one.
"Idiot..." Venom began dusting himself off, "Now if you excuse us. We have a little family-" The half-man half creature turned. Wait a minute, who were we just talking to?
Teehee.
"This is strange…" Venom just stopped in his tracks. He could sense it easily. Swooping down from about 10 stories up was a blazing red fireball, once impacting the ground making a little shockwave and back draft that would make Trigon's inferno blasts proud.
After an explosion of meteoric consequences, the inferno died. There was complete silence, the projectiles hurler floating down to the little coffee shop glaring around. Brother Blood was getting uglier by the second. Do we got a plastic surgeon in the house?
"BBQ'd symbiote." Sebastian chuckled as his costume was flailing all over like a blood clot that just wouldn't dry up. "Oh stop this Venom. Toxin and I know you're still good for a fight."
"Ugh and we know you grandkids are so overrated!" At that very instant the room just littered black, red tendrils soon joining the fray, a massive wall of pseudopodia tentacles wrapping around each other as Venom just Ray Lewis tackled Blood through the glass wall. The two tumbled out to the streets, the obsidian one of the pair flailing away with punches left and right as he mounted above.
"Rule 101 in the fight Venom book coming to a Barnes and Noble's near you," Venom continued to bash away as their tendrils coiled. "Don't piss us off!"
POW! POW! POW! The clenched punches landed with solid results, Blood's face being the bruised victim every time. But something was wrong. People weren't supposed to smile getting a beating like this. Were they?
"What the hell?" Venom stopped, gruesome mouth and tongue wide agape.
"Aw! Why are you stopping?" Blood's head seemed to have done a complete 360, his neck cracking a bit as Venom found his entire body being wrapped with Toxin's skin. "That was so fun! Here… why don't we show you!"
"GAAAAAAH!" Venom felt it. A grab of that long nasty tongue and Eddie and Venom knew they were in trouble. Around and around and around went Venom, his tongue being used as the pivot for a Venom-go-round. Blood was relentless, doing a good Kid Flash impression of a tornado as he launched Venom off, his predecessor slamming into the ground a few times before hitting into the 'soft' confines of a steel convoy.
Blood chuckled as his symbiote mask coiled around his face again. "Anyone else?"
"Oh we're not done yet junior!" Blood heard the voice but it was too late, as Carnage kicked the hellish kid against the jawbone. The momentum of the strike wasn't your daddy's momentum, Blood stumbling back as it was only his tendrils that held him up.
"Someone just got owned! Tell me again Toxin cause I got a bad memory…"
(Waits…)
"WHO'S YO DADDY?" Carnage smirked in celebration, axes forming on the hands.
"You really are the loudmouth aren't you?" Blood forced his head back into its socket, suddenly a few heads of beast like properties erupting from the pseudopodia.
"You're washed up pops." The Toxin heads chuckled. "You're old news. Yesterday's paper! Dick Clark! N'sync! American Idol!"
"Ugh, and you think you're so fresh?" Carnage nodded back and fourth amused. "Sometimes the older the better kiddo! Ya ever heard of Van Halen? Or Aerosmith? Heck, I combine the old school and the new school homie!"
"Nah," Blood hissed. "You combine idiocy with red-neck psychosis."
"… That too… but guess what?" Carnage suddenly formed. "I think someone here needs a damn timeout!"
Spinning blades were tossed effortlessly, cutting through the air as easy as pie. The way Blood actually caught those projectiles with a ball of energy even looked easier. Carnage was impressed. Scared yes… but a little impressed.
"Wow," The hick of a villain sighed. "That was pretty cool… like… The Fonz cool…"
"Thanks, now for an encore!" Blood did as he said, tossing the red slicer-rangs back at twice the speed of Carnage, causing Cletus to hit the deck. Cassidy scowled slamming his fist into the ground angrily as he was eating dirt.
"I am not going to be embarrassed by some second rate symbiote!"
"Well sorry to say this Carnage," the voice he hated so much landed down beside him. "But you're being embarrassed. By the way… some second rate symbiote? Wow that's a tongue twister."
"Oh shut up Parker."
"Heh-heh, Spider-Man." Blood mused. "Toxin informs me that you're quite the hero back in your universe."
"Oh really? Well did he inform you that you're going to be stopped pretty soon, just like every other villain that tries to destroy the world?" Peter shot back.
"And exactly who's going to stop me?" Blood was ecstatic. "The Justice League? You three? Don't make me laugh! HA! HA!"
"I'll make you laugh whenever I want arseface!" Carnage scowled. "Knock knock! Who's there? Blood! Blood who? Bloody Hell I suck! Cause I'm Toxin!"
Chirp?
"Uh five words Carnage," Spider-Man was in awe of the lameness. "What the heck was that?"
"Psh, don't be insulting because you're jealous of my jokes." Carnage gave a victorious arm pump.
Spider-Man was about to reply, Carnage probably soon after with a witty comment. Too bad the pain of being bashed across the body with a tendril whip the size of a bus stopped it all. Ouch people… ouch.
"Did you really have to piss him off more?" Spider-Man grimaced, so winded he felt like floating away with the breeze. "And if you had to, could you have at least made the joke worth while?"
"Hey, pissing people off with semi-credible jokes?" Carnage shook his consciousness back to full. "You do it all the time!"
"Yea but mine aren't as lame as yours!"
"Yea right!"
"Cripes shut the Hell up you two." Venom fumed at his teammates from behind, looking like a total wreck. Carnage and Spider-Man could only blink at him as Venom began wrapping up his tongue back into his mouth.
"Speaking of tongue twisters…" Spider-Man mused. "Yo Venom uh…"
"J-just don't ask…"
"Well then I'll ask this dad." Carnage crossed his arms. "Can we stop getting our butts kicked now? We can so take this guy!"
"No we can't." Venom muttered, peering over to see Blood tapping his feet as if he was letting them have their meeting.
"Of course we-"
"Venom's right… ugh," Spider-Man hated admitting that. "This solo attack stuff isn't working."
"You're such a wimp." Carnage poked Spidey harshly on the shoulder. "You've beaten us by yourself plenty of times! And you're definitely not stronger! How do you do it?"
"I um… well… I just kinda wait till you beat yourselves up by either being way too obsessed," points to Venom, "or insane…" points to Carnage.
Venom and Carnage: "Huh…"
"But that won't work against this guy." Spider-Man got up. "We have to work together."
"Together?" Carnage blinked. "Together as in uh? Partridge Family together? Or like G.I. Joe together?"
"And what's that supposed to mean!" Spider-Man was in disbelief.
"I dunno…" Carnage chuckled.
You ask for some help and God gives you THIS…
"Why don't we just hold hands and sing Kumbaya?" Venom growled. "No way! We've partnered with you one too many times Parker. Save it."
"We have no choice." Spidey replied. "You're unofficially on my side anyway. Let's start acting like a damn team."
"Yeah! We can call ourselves the Arachnid Assault!" Carnage chuckled. "That's an awesome name."
Spider-Man and Venom: "…"
"What? Like you two can come up with anything better!"
"Look you numbskulls, Raven need us to stall for time." Spider-Man pointed out. "We don't need to beat him. But if we don't work together we'll be dead before-"
"We got'cha," Venom sighed depressingly, turning. "Ugh so what's the plan?"
Carnage hissed. "May I suggest we rip Toxin into shreds and have him for dinner?"
"Uh no thanks." Spider-Man shook his head. "I hear you symbiotes have way too many carbs and I'm on that Atkins diet."
"…"
"What? It's not easy fitting into this spider tights okay?" Spider-Man grabbed the two in a huddle.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, fellas!" Blood suddenly floated above them. "I can tell you your plan right now. It's brilliant!"
"Hah! Like you'd know our plan!" Carnage pointed and jeered.
"You're going to run for your stinkin' lives!" The child of the new Symbiote age suddenly flared up red, three tentacles armed with jaws with bleeding teeth sprouting out.
"Okay… huh," Carnage threw his mega tantrum. "That was so a lucky guess!"
- Arach –
A few blocks away…
"Stand and keep guard Jinx. I'll be back soon." The Hex Princess mocked her gray skinned counterpart perfectly, all the way down to that cute scowl. Staring at that stupid mirror that Raven had left her with after she had assimilated with it was only making Jinx fume some more.
"Grrrrr, you said you'd be back by now!"
What a poor and sad widdle girl. Jinx may have been one bad apple. But if anyone was watching their friends' get their tails handed to them for a good while like she has, you'd feel sorry for that person too! Uh huh! Don't give me that head shake! Stop that! Now!
"Ugh…" Scuffling back and fourth, she continued to wait. "Oh when you get back here Raven you are so getting a scolding! And I'm going to hex you with a bad hair day every morning you wake up! The nerve! Leaving me here and forcing me to watch my Venny Poo get hurt!"
"Oh shut your trap pinkness!"
"W-wha?" Jinx blinked stupidly as suddenly a black energy was shooting out from ze mirror, the girl being covered in the glow. Just when things couldn't get any weirder…
"Gah! Finally I'm out!" One of the energies formed into our bravest Raven spirit.
The other Raven's followed swiftly. "So this is what the world looks like!" Happy giggled. "Yay sisters we made it! Raven finally let us out! Woohoo!" she glomped a few of her fellow Raven's, before turning to a startled Jinx.
"You are Jinx! OMG your hair is pink! That's too cool!"
Jinx scratched her head.
Scratch.
Scratch.
Blink.
Sigh.
"I officially need mental help don't I?"
.. Apparently crushing on Venom isn't enough of an indication.
"Excuse us Jinx," Smart stepped in. "But we need to act as swiftly as possible." She took the mirror out of those skinny hands, turning to the one true and blue Raven.
"You'll need this."
"Of course," Raven just nodded, looking at all her emotional states with a worried look. What our favorite Azarian was doing could be officially the carrying out of the End of the World. Even then, she had to take it as a constellation pain. This definitely wasn't as bad as letting Brave take over her body. Her lips were still tingling.
"What are we waiting for? Come on! Let's go save our buds!" Brave pounded her fist. "Spidey is going to love us so much after this! I know it!"
Raven ignored that comment like a driver would a speed limit sign. It was too late to back up now. And risk is all part of the reward. It was put up or shut up time.
"… Raven," Jinx poked her. "What's going on?"
Shut up time!
"Uh… long story…"
"You know what?" Jinx shook her head. "Never mind girl, just go save the world now please. My friends need your help!"
"I'll give it a try."
"Alright! We're all here Cap'n! Give us the word and we're off!" Brave got into army stance, saluting, Happy doing so too except looking totally inept. The emotional shadows all stared at their true self waiting for the cue.
"Um, before we go through with this." Gross sighed. "If the world does blow up… can we like uh, not go with it?"
The rest of the Ravens just stared. "…"
"Right, let's just do it." Gross smiled as large as Happy just to save her own hide.
"Azarath… Azarath… AZARATH!" As Raven's eyes glowed white, and the emotions felt their energies all combine. Timid, Happy, Brave and the gang were all merging into Raven, forming into the spiritual being that took out her Father's influence. Her soul self erupted in a flash of light, Jinx staring on in amazement as soon only a Raven dressed completely in white with long purple hair stood strong.
The world didn't blow up! Yay!
"Wow… that's really uh… sparkly grumpy," Jinx commented dryly, only to smile brightly. "Nice color change! I like it!"
Before this complete Raven could even reply, they heard noises from afar. Apparently BB and Starfire along with any super power in Jump City were at each other's throats. This had to change.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…" Raven muttered under her breath, suddenly a white aura beginning to flow from within her. The red energy that was flooding the skies was being dissipated, the white angelic light taking out the crimson trashy air. Passive empathy was totally owning the aggression!
"It's working?" Jinx looked out, seeing people actually becoming sane again. She clenched her fist. "Raven! You're doing it!"
Just as the whole city was brightening up, a presence just filled the area, Jinx and Raven feeling it as they turned. A tall man stood before them, one eye glowing as bright as the sun. Does Slade know how to make an entrance or what? Don't say or what!
"Hello there." Mr. Wilson said all too neighborly. "My Raven, haven't you've grown into your own."
The White Raven stared down Slade, noticing that burning S on his head. "Slade…"
"Slade? But isn't he dead? WHAT THE HELL?" Jinx seriously wanted to faint from this headache of a situation.
"The Hell with 7 rings Jinx," Slade smirked. "Speaking of which, your father really didn't like sending me out so early. It's how many days to your birthday again?"
Raven just stared at him, ready to blast him to kingdom come if necessary.
"Oh calm down." Slade sensed the friction. "You have bigger problems apparently. And if I were you, I would take into account that just because you have defeated his mind control, that doesn't mean you can defeat him."
"So what? My father sent you down here for help?" Raven growled.
"More like for advice." Slade replied indifferently. The rest of the world has Ms. Cleo. Raven had Mr. Trigon.
"You see, without you or this world. Trigon would have no meaning. So I'm now your guardian… angel. So to speak…"
"…"
"You know that even in this form you cannot defeat Blood." Slade walked out, sensing the power house of a villain nearby. "You'll need more."
Raven blinked. She stared at her hands, knowing Slade was partially correct. He was always PARTIALLY correct. Just like how BB was always TOTALLY incorrect.
"You have the gift of being born beyond mortals." The masked man whispered. "For the love of all that is alive can you please use it?"
Four glowing eyes were now present in the mirror.
"Jeez you Titans sometimes," Slade hit his mask. "I swear if I wasn't around you'd all be so unprepared for this life."
"I don't have a choice do I?" Raven whispered.
"Fate doesn't allow it." Slade answered. "Just like how you have to answer in a question form in Jeopardy. It's annoying… yes, but it must be done that way. So we can all feel so special…"
"…"
"Your demonic side is your power." The masked man said.
"Demonic?" Jinx made the most twisted face she had ever done, staring at Raven. "What the… heck are you?"
"Satan's spawn." Slade answered for Raven, doing that evil chuckle that seemed to echo like he was on Mt. Everest.
Jinx spasmed. "Satan's spawn? The SATAN?"
"…"
"WHAT THE HECK?" Jinx's horn hair went even more psycho. "Why didn't you tell me? I… I would've… not messed with you…"
CRAAAAAASH!
"Gah!" Jinx suddenly blurted out, tossing all questions away after seeing some trouble from afar. "Venny Poo!" She didn't even think about it, running off towards her friends. "I'm coming my lover!"
"Infatuations with beings named Venny Poo," Slade pondered. "Very interesting…"
"You're right." Raven interrupted, sensing Blood heading closer. "I have to use everything I got."
Four Red Eyes!
Four Red Eyes!
"Everybody I have."
"Well duh I'm right, I'm freakin' Slade!" Mr. Wilson hmph'd.
And now as the late and great Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers would say it!
IT'S DEMON TIME!
- Arach -
They decided to split up. The Arachnid Avengers, the Spider Clan, or as Carnage dubbed them "Run VSC" had decided to take off in their own routes to dodge Toxin's super jaw faced tentacle attack. The natural born hero of the three was now soaring through the sky like he did in his NYC days, moving at the speed of light! Okay, maybe not that but it was fast! I'm just trying to make a point!
Move it Spidey! A loud snap later and those symbiotic jaws nearly got to his rear end. "Gah! FASTER!" Spider-Man thought fast, grabbing the webline and propelling himself upward into another building. He did it so quickly, the tentacle couldn't pull up, bashing through the building underneath our hero.
"Whew," Spider-Man sensed something, now darting to his right as another tendril had its eyes on him.
"SPIDER SNACK!" The snake hissed.
"Sorry Parker! Guess it likes you more." Carnage laughed it up, adhesive palms against the very same building Spidey was on.
"Cassidy! We said to split up so the tendrils couldn't get to us all at once!"
"Oh right,' Carnage shrugged. "I guess I don't listen to instructions well. You know, being how UNSTABLE I am."
"Typical…"
"What the Hell?" Venom suddenly peeped over the edge of the building. "Why the heck are you two here?"
"See dad messed up too! He didn't know we were supposed to split up!"
"We knew we were supposed to do that you moron! We found this building first!"
"I don't see your name written on it!" Carnage spat.
"Don't make us use your blood to do it…"
"Grrr…"
"Get on the same page!" Spider-Man yelled.
It was really hopeless. I mean winning the Lotto seemed like a better reality then getting these three working as a team. And if a trio of hydra looking tendrils couldn't do it, what could?
Yawn. "And I really thought you three could at least make me break a sweat." Blood suddenly rose from the ground itself.
"Me and Sebs knew you three sucked but this is just embarrassing." The Toxin heads chuckled at their insults.
Insults…
Insults!
Venom, Carnage, and Spider-Man looked at one another, hitting themselves for not realizing their one advantage. It was time to pull out their most secret weapon! Their Doctorate Degrees in Smack Talk.
"Ya know I'm just curious." Spider-Man scratched his masked head. "But is that real blood seeping out of your mouth? Because, I mean unless you ate something, that would be just impossible."
"Huh?"
"Hmm good call Parker." Venom pointed. "Is that your own blood? No way! That's too cool for a nerd like you Toxin."
"W-wha? It is real blood you simpletons!" Blood flared up angrily.
"Yea right!" Carnage pointed. "It's probably some blood capsules or something. Or better yet it's watered down Ketchup isn't it?"
"Ketchup!"
"Awww poor Blood and Toxin wuv their ketchup." Venom sighed mockingly. "Want daddy Carnage to feed you French fries too?"
"Yea sonny! I'll chop it up in widdle bitty pieces and make Spider-Man here scoop it all in that mouth." Carnage began laughing manically.
"STOP IT!" Blood yelled out.
"Seriously Blood you're not like Venom and Carnage are ya?" Spider-Man began to lean back against the wall. "All this over the top end of the world stuff is just a smoke screen, for that little kid inside! Begging for some Disney cartoons and sugar cereal isn't it?"
"I'm not hearing this!" Blood began to fume.
"Oh and now my son is throwing his first tantrum!" Carnage clapped. "Daddy is so proud! Want me to buy you a happy meal too?"
Blood was now redder then he was before, a vein pumping on his forehead. Ticked off, seeing red, angry like heck, say what you will. But his swagger was out as much as disco is these days. That is until…
"I'm going to tear you all-" Blood suddenly stopped, calming himself as his senses came to him. "You… sly dogs." He began to laugh a little.
"Dammit," Venom felt it too, Carnage soon following. Raven's essence was passing through the city. Their cover was blown.
"Parker, it's time to take him out before he gets to your woman!"
"Say what?"
"TAKE HIM DOWN!" Venom suddenly lassoed Blood around his waist with webbing. Spider-Man and Carnage fired off their own lines, all of them coiling up Sebastian quite nicely.
"Hah! We caught-"
SPLAT!
SPLAT!
SPLAT!
"You three are so annoying." Blood hissed, his hand glowing with the energy of like 100 stars. "Shutting all of you up will be way more satisfying then leeching off this Earth."
Venom was in his sights, that glaring palm pointing right at the sprawling anti-hero. Eddie looked up, white eyes bulging out as soon a sphere of total chaos was sent at him. It was too late for him to move. It looked like the tongued menace had eaten his last brain two nights ago.
But the explosion never came…
"J-jinx?" Venom muttered as he turned, seeing the sorceress countering with her own wave of carnation energy. The blasts battled, Blood's easily beginning to over-take Jinx's output.
"Girl is you crazy?" Venom gasped. "Get out of here!"
"N-no!" Jinx grimaced under the stress, her body giving out quicker then a dead light bulb. "Get to safety Venny!"
"W-what?" Venom shook his head, not believing this girl would do something this noble for him. Eddie was past his villainous antics, getting up as quickly as possible. "Not without you! Let's go!"
Jinx was about to be incinerated only to be pulled back by a web-line. Exhausted she fell into Venom's arms, Eddie swooping down to the ground as the entire building was ignited in one blast. Eddie hit the ground cleanly, Olympic judges would've given him 10's.
But as a few dusty debris fell from above, the trouble was far from over.
"S-shit..." Venom muttered, frantically out of reaction covering his body over Jinx as tons of concrete and metal landed from above, burying the two lovey doveys alive. Blood chuckled as he retracted his hand, turning to our two crimson crawlers.
"Jinx was always a softy." Blood pondered, teleporting down to the other two. "One down, two to go."
"N-no you didn't!" Carnage growled, sharp objects forming all around him. "You just did not take out my best pals!"
"Best pals?" Toxin said beside Blood in mocking laughs. "You have no friends Cassidy. You never did. And that's why you kill. Because daddy and mommy never hugged you… and no one wanted to hang out with you."
"Don't play that game with me 'son'," Carnage was all business now. "I'll gladly skin that smirk right off your face."
"Then do it." Blood challenged. "You were always all talk weren't you?"
"Cassidy chill out! He's just trying to-"
"Die!" Carnage just dove forward without thinking, Spider-Man's pleas not working as usual. Blood smirked, easily side stepping the attack, suddenly lunging and ramming his knee into Carnage's ribcage and then an elbow to his back. Cassidy's limp body landed, the symbiote groaning as loud as its host was on the floor.
"Wow," Spider-Man walked over to the crimson symbiote, never seeing anyone do exactly what Blood just did. Two shots and Carnage seemed out of it. "Cassidy, you alright?"
"Oooowie…" Carnage whined, only to shake it off. "D-dammit I'm fine… but Parker… all hatred between us aside… can you do me a favor?"
"Uh.. what?"
"You see that red thing over there? About 20 meters away?"
"Uh…"
"Well I think that's my spleen…"
"Eeew… I-"
"And now it's just the hero." Blood hissed, Spider-Man looking up and beginning to back pedal faster then a politician figured out.
"Whoa-whoa wait! Can't we settle this doing something else?"
"Like what?"
"Uh… Blackjack?"
"Too civil…"
"Poker?"
"Too trendy…"
"Monopoly?"
"Takes too long…"
"I know! Pogs!"
"Whoa, too 1990s."
"Pokemon card game?"
"AH! That'd be great!" Blood cheered, only to sigh. "But I don't have my deck. Sorry, tough luck."
"DARN IT!" Spider-Man scowled. "This is going to end with fight to the death isn't it?"
"Bingo…"
"Hey! Let's play Bingo! I know you know the song-GAAAAAAAAH!" Spider-Man squirmed, a tendril now wrapped securely around his neck. Like an anaconda Toxin began to squeeze. The image of his head popping like a balloon wasn't a nice one, and Spider-Man couldn't help but think of that.
"Have a nice after-life…" Blood was about to finish the job. "Or better yet… don't."
I can't go out like this…
"And you won't."
BLAST!
Toxin suddenly let out a screech to the Heavens, the bonded duo turning while dropping Spidey. Peter was coughing hard, looking around to see a fuzzy form about a few feet from him. That fuzziness was a light of what looked to be like an angel.
"R-raven?" Spidey blinked.
"Stay back." was the only reply he received. Spider-Man really had no choice but to do so. Raven's voice was like a cross between her own, but also of a girl of even more confidence and power. Wasn't Raven already scary enough?
Apparently not to Blood.
"Whoa," Sebastian chuckled, staring down this white adorned Raven with a little amusement. "Attire change huh? Nice."
"Call it what you will." Raven replied. "But you can call what I'm about to do to you a rearrangement of your body parts."
"Heh-heh-heh," Toxin chuckled, Blood smirking as the mask of the symbiote came over his face. "Bravado won't get you anywhere my dear."
"Did somebody say Bravo TV?" Carnage whispered, little birdies flying around his head. "Boy that channel sucks…"
Everyone just sweat dropped for a second, only to get back into form as Raven floated in between Spider-Man and the monster of all monsters!
"I sense you've grown in power." Blood muttered. "It's still not enough."
"You only sense a part of me." Raven smiled, her white cape fluttering like a certain superhero from Krypton.
"A part, of you?"
"Yes a part of me." Another dark, vicious sounding voice called out from higher above. Blood looked up to see red. Red eyes, red cape, and a dead red aura to boot.
"Uh no, not her." Spider-Man gasped, staring Anger down shaking at the knees.
"I love what you've done to the place Blood." Anger lowered to the ground, the eyes of her father staring the symbiote down. "But father doesn't take too kindly to people that want to show him up."
"Heh, is that so?" Blood smirked. "Then you better tell Satan that he isn't the worst thing around anymore sweetheart."
"No," Anger growled at the insult of Trigon. "Why don't my sister and I give you a one way ticket to Hell so you can tell him yourself? Ready Raven?"
"Always…"
Soon the two Ravens stood side by side, glaring down Blood as Spider-Man and Carnage looked on with as much involvement in this as a steel spoon.
I spend two weeks in another dimension, and here comes a fight to save existence. Bad Karma? Oh yeah…
This was one last fight to the finish. And this was for ALL the marbles.
Hah! I said marbles… heh-heh-heh.
- Arach –
"Larry, get back here!"
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
If you couldn't tell, that was what you call a heart beat. And as fast as that was going, Larry probably felt it was going even faster. This super hero business was sure not worth it, and his admiration for Robin had just grown 30 full.
Richard Grayson should now be truly scared. Really scared!
"I cannot face that monster." Larry gulped, hiding behind a few crates in the warehouse filled with Best Buy junk. Black Cat had made him her little servant. And all was going 'okay' until Larry was shown the hero he had to distract.
A raging Incredible Hulk!
"There you are!" Black Cat found our little tike, grabbing him by his cape. "Why'd you run away?"
"Ms. Cat! That villainous man was far too dangerous for me to distract!" Larry shook his head. "Larry cannot face him! He was green, mean, and not so lean!"
"But why? Are you scared?" Black Cat rolled her eyes. "Aren't you the great Larry? Larry the Legend? The destroyer of Spider-Man, Venom, and Carnage?"
"Nooooo!" Larry shook his head.
"Yo yo yo," A blaze of firey fun soared overhead, the teenage heart throb looking down on our weird pair.
Hey boys and girls! It's Johnny Storm!
"Torch," Black Cat scowled. "Aren't you supposed to be taking care of Hulk?"
"Already taken care of babe," The Human Torch replied, rubbing his chest, a bit of steam coming out. "Apparently Hulk was just hungry. A few breakfast burritos and all that HULK SMASH YOU stuff was out the door."
"Ain't that a scary thought?" BC replied sarcastically, making an angry face at Larry.
"Oh why are you so harsh on the kid? Okay so he took Spidey to another dimension. He's only what? 7 years old? Knowing Spider-Man he'll find his way back."
"No! This kid has to go get him!" Black Cat pouted. "I miss… my little Spider."
"Aaaaw there there," Johnny 'flamed off'. "I'm sure he's fine. That guy can get out of some tough situations."
"I still want him back! And it's all this kid's fault that he's gone!" Black Cat put him down.
"Well, let's just stay calm, and relax." Johnny put his arm around Felecia Harding's shoulder. "Everything will be okay."
BC's feline eyes followed whole way.
"If you don't get your hand off me, you're going to be wishing to go to another dimension."
"Oh lord how did that get there?" Johnny muttered, pulling away as slyly as can be.
"Whatever… I-"
"My finger!" Larry yelled out in excitement. "It is working!"
"Finger?" Johnny blinked. "Kid… uh, say what?"
"Oh my Gawd!" Black Cat grew elated, staring at the glowing extremity. "Does this mean we can go get Spider back?"
"Yes indeed Ms. Cat!" Larry jumped up and down spinning. "Yaaaaaaaaaaay!"
"Let's go! We're going!" Black Cat grabbed his wrist excitedly, almost crushing it. "Teleport now!"
"Ow! B-but Ms. Cat I-"
POOOOOF!
After the dust and fanning it all away Johnny was now standing in the room all alone. The Fantastic Four member just shook his head, thinking of what just happened. "Why do I not envy you Spidey?"
Blink.
"… Why do I not envy you?"