Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves

Act III 1/2

"Darkwing Duck! Wow! I've heard all kinds of stories about you!" said Gosalyn, completely in awe. Across the campfire from her, Elizabeth crossed her arms and sighed. You'd sure never know that Gosalyn was supposed to be her friend right about now. "You and your band of merry men, robbing from the rich and giving to the poor..."

"No, you're thinking of that other guy," said Darkwing matter-of-factly. "I mean, most of it still stands, of course, but my band of men isn't merry... We're more jolly. And we don't rob... We take loans from the financially stable and then redistribute the broad-based wealth to the indigents and destitute." He lowered his voice and leaned in close to her. "Don't want to get into the trademark territory there, you know," he whispered. Gosalyn looked confused, but Elizabeth nodded knowingly.

"So," said Gosalyn, "is that story about you single-handedly defeating fifty men true?"

"Huh?" said Darkwing. "Oh, uh... It sure is!" He leaned close to Launchpad. "That's a new one," he whispered. "I like it!" He turned back to Gosalyn, unable to resist the temptation of an eager and willing audience to which he could relate his glory. "Why, I remember it like it was yesterday, 50 of the biggest, toughest, meanest thugs in all the kingdom..."

Launchpad had been nursing his sore stomach for the two hours or so since Elizabeth had hit him. He stole a glance at her, and wasn't surprised to see that she was frowning. Boy, had she ever turned out different from his expectations. She seemed to feel his eyes on her, and looked up to meet his gaze. She looked startled for a moment, and then scowled at him and turned away. Somehow this made him feel embarrassed, as if he'd been caught making faces at her or something, and so he turned away as well. It wasn't like he was enjoying looking at her, anyway. She just had a way of making him feel as though he were insignificant, and that made him feel weird around her. Too bad though- she was cute. He stretched his arms out, behind his head. "Hey, DW, it's gettin' dark. What should we do with the girls?" He looked in Elizabeth's direction in time to catch her eyes widen. Sheesh, now what had he said?

Elizabeth turned her coldest glare towards Launchpad, but he had already looked away from her. Typical male chauvanist, she thought- to refer to all women as "girls". She hadn't been a girl in more than five years, and she found the implication to be stupendously insulting. She opened her mouth to yell at him, but just then Darkwing spoke up.

"Wellll... We don't have any extra tents, but you and I can probably each set up an extra bedroll in our tents, LP. We've got room."

Elizabeth finally got to speak then. Her voice sounded strained. "This is intolerable, completely intolerable. I would like to go back to my home, please."

"Beth, I thought you wanted adventure!" said Gosalyn. Elizabeth looked pained, but said nothing.

"Too much adventure for the Princess, Beth?" asked Launchpad. Once he said it he realized that it had come out a bit sharper than he'd meant it. He didn't especially like her, but that wasn't really a reason to pick on her. He shot her a grin in the hopes that it would improve her mood- but from her expression, it only made it worse.

Elizabeth's posture improved as she drew in a breath. Cute grin or no, Mr. McQuack, no one talks to me like that! she thought. "Elizabeth. Princess Elizabeth. You may call me 'your Highness'."

Darkwing appeared to be thinking. "It's... too dangerous to take you back now," he said finally.

The Princess sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Each one of you can sleep in one of our tents."

"Gos, didn't you want to go to that hotel...?" Elizabeth looked at Gosalyn almost pleadingly, but the girl's attention was elsewhere.

"Nah, this is way cooler!"

Elizabeth turned to see Launchpad grinning at her again, and her stomach did a backflip. I am NOT taking the chance of sleeping within twenty MILES of him, let alone the same tent! she thought.

"Don't worry, Your Worship," he said, his expression unreadable to her, "I'll be a perfect gentleman." Was he joking, or not? Did he really intend to...?

Determined not to let on how unsettled she was by him, she replied calmly, "Mr. McQuack, I'm surprised you know the meaning of the word." That got the grin off of his face. Infuriating man! she thought. "Why can't one of you sleep somewhere else, and give us a tent?" she asked, indicating Darkwing and Launchpad.

Launchpad answered. "'Cause they're our tents. Why shouldn't we get to sleep in them?"

She shook her head. "It's inappropriate for us to sleep in the same tents as grown men!"

Looking insulted, Launchpad said, "Hey, I wouldn't try anythin'!" He turned to Darkwing. "Hey, DW, tell her..." he began, and stopped. Darkwing was looking thoughtful again, and Launchpad didn't think he liked the look this time.

Elizabeth and Gosalyn looked around Launchpad's tent. "You can have the hammock," said Elizabeth.

Gosalyn didn't argue. She didn't even seem to hear, in fact; instead, she held up a pair of boxer shorts with little hearts on them. "Hey, look at these!" she said, laughing.

Elizabeth looked up, and then blushed and covered her eyes. "Gosalyn! Please!" Gosalyn, still giggling, apologized. She kept laughing and muttering about the hearts for a while, until Elizabeth spoke to her hesitantly. "Gos... do you... like it here?"

"And how!" said Gosalyn enthusiastically. For some reason, it didn't seem to be what Elizabeth wanted to hear. "Why? Don't you? I thought you said you wanted adventure!"

"It's too..." Elizabeth paused, apparently looking for the right words. "Oh, Gosalyn, it's just too much, too quick! I've never been through anything like this in my life! I thought it was what I wanted, but I was wrong! Don't you miss home just a little?"

Gosalyn tried to put herself into Elizabeth's shoes, and couldn't. "Well... No! No, I don't. Sorry."

The Princess sighed. "Gosalyn...?" she said softly. "Do you want to stay here after I leave?"

"Um..." It was a question that Gosalyn hadn't even considered. Now that she had been asked it, though, she didn't know what to answer. She didn't want to leave, she knew that. Not in the least. But Beth was her friend, and she didn't want to leave that friendship behind, either. "I don't know," she said truthfully. Elizabeth looked sad, and lay down among the blankets she had spread on the ground.

Gosalyn lay down, too, unable to think of anything reassuring to say. Beneath all the Princess attitude, this was what Elizabeth really was: timid, sensitive, and rather lonely. Having had only two friends her whole life, she had somehow drawn the conclusion that the only thing that people really liked about her was the fact that she was a Princess. That wasn't true in Gosalyn's case at all; she liked Beth because, from the start, she had treated her like a person, not like a little kid. Of course, since the Princess was a genius, this meant that sometimes they had discussions that went over Gosalyn's head. But that was okay, because at least it showed that Elizabeth never assumed that she wouldn't get it.

It wasn't that she liked Darkwing more than she liked Elizabeth; she just looked up to him. She wanted to know more about him. Maybe, when he was younger, he'd been like she was now! Maybe when she was older, she could be the leader of the thieves. She couldn't supress a smile at the thought. And even now... Darkwing was so cool. And after all, she didn't have any real family...

Elizabeth spoke suddenly, very softly, but all she said was "Good night, Gos."

Gosalyn shut her eyes. "G'night, Beth." She hoped things would work out in the morning.

Elizabeth stared at the ceiling of the tent for a long time. To think that she'd been so enthusiastic about this before! What a stupid idea! Everything was so wrong... She shut her eyes, and an image of Launchpad McQuack came to her mind unbidden. Her eye snapped open again. Launchpad... that jerk!

Okay, so maybe he had a right to be a little angry. After all, she had hit him in the stomach as hard as she could, and thanks to her training, that was pretty hard. But he didn't have to be so... So mean about it! She saw the looks he kept giving her- usually just the tail ends of them, but that was enough. He didn't look like a mean guy; that was the part she hated the most. He probably was really nice to everyone except her, because everyone else didn't hit him in the stomach when they first met him. Maybe she could apologize- No, no reason to. Tomorrow she'd leave and never see him again, and that was a good thing. So she didn't have to figure out how to apologize, or worry about whether he'd glare at her and tell her not to bother or something horrible like that. Not that anyone had ever done that to her. She was just always afraid that they would.

Not that Launchpad would understand. Hmph. That jerk. She wished he weren't so handsome, it made her nervous. Having a handsome man watching her all the time... it wasn't fair.

She fell asleep.

The ground in Darkwing's tent was really uncomfortable. This wasn't fair. Launchpad glanced at Darkwing, who looked quite comfortable in his own hammock, and sighed. He shouldn't blame the Princess... After all, once he thought about it, he could understand her reluctance at sleeping in the same tent as a man. The idea of... anything happening, however, had been so far from Launchpad's mind that it had taken him a while to even realize what she was afraid of. "DW, what are we gonna do with 'em tomorrow?" he asked.

Darkwing spoke with his eyes closed. "I have a plan, LP."

"Really? Hey, cool!" DW's plans were always great. "What is it?"

"We'll ransom the Princess."

"Um..." Despite his semi-dislike for Elizabeth, Launchpad had a few misgivings. After all, even though they were thieves, they stole to help poor people, not to cause trouble. They'd never hurt anyone before.

Darkwing seemed to read his mind. "Don't worry, LP, we're not actually going to hold her hostage. We'll just keep her with us for a while, until the King pays, and she'll never even know!"

"Oh!" Now he got it. This was the kind of sneaky, clever plan that Darkwing was famous for. It was what had convinced Launchpad to join the group, after all.

"You see? It's perfect! Have I ever been wrong?" Darkwing reveled in his own greatness for a moment or two, and then continued. "Now, a few things. For one thing, we can use the attack by the Fearsome Five to our advantage; we'll tell Elizabeth that the Five are still looking for her, and we're her only chance for protection. Second, the girl- Gosalyn..." Darkwing trailed off. Launchpad waited patiently for him to start talking again, and shortly, he did. "Well, I guess it's too dangerous for her to get involved."

Launchpad asked, "Involved with what?"

"I was thinking... she might get a kick out of knowing about this. But she's too young. I don't know what I was thinking." He sighed, almost wistfully, but quietly.

Launchpad thought this over. "Sounds good t'me..."

"Oh, yeah. You're in love with the Princess."

Launchpad sat up quickly, blushing. "Huh?! Me?" Well, sure, she was cute and all, but he sure as heck didn't love her! He barely even liked her! In fact, he wasn't sure he liked her at all, although he sort of wanted to. But that was only because he wanted to like everyone, not because...

Darkwing interrupted his thoughts. "No, I mean for the plan. Just play up to her, keep her off-balance."

"Oh. Okay," said Launchpad, before he even thought about what he was getting himself into. Play up to her!? As in, "be nice"? Spend time with her? Oh, great. He was not what could be described as adept at subterfuge- plotting against people wasn't his forte. There was no way he could pretend to like her if he didn't! But she couldn't be all bad. Besides, DW hardly ever came up with a bad plan, so there was no reason to argue.

Darkwing outlined a bit more of what he had planned, before Launchpad started falling asleep. They agreed to discuss it more in the morning.