Chapter 31

Jag watched with concern as Jaina turned a sickly shade of green, leaped from her chair and ran to the fresher and retched. He stood, going cautiously to stand at the door. Her hands trembled as she wiped her mouth with a towel and then rinsed it with water. "Jaina, are you okay?"

She smiled weakly, her lips the same pale shade as her face. "I'll live."

"What's wrong?"

She waved him off. "I think I have a virus or something."

Usually he would have made a greater attempt to comfort her, but Jag still hadn't rid himself of all the bitterness, even though his head kept telling him over and over again that it was illogical. If she couldn't save him, then she just couldn't. It wasn't as if she had deliberately let the ship carrying his brother get away.

So he just nodded and went back to the roomy hold of the Jade Sabre. Luke looked at him quizzically, and Mara scowled. "Is she okay?" Luke questioned. "What happened?"

Jag shrugged and sat back down. "She says it's a virus."

"Does she need help going into a healing trance?" Mara asked anxiously. Then, "Nevermind, I'll go help her." She jumped quickly from her chair and ran back to the room he and Jaina shared.

"Something funny's going on between those two," Jag mused into the silence that followed.

Luke nodded. "Mara's hiding something from me, which is something she's never done. When I ask her about it she says its not her secret to tell."

Jag looked back to the hatch where Mara had disappeared. "Jaina's acted weird ever since we left, too. She keeps getting this faraway looks. And she's been so...emotional. Not like herself at all."

Luke's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and then shot open as if with a sudden revelation. "Mara!"

Mara found Jaina curled on her side on the bed, her skin a pasty white, glistening with sweat. She sat down on the edge of the bunk and rested a troubled hand on her forearm. "Are you all right, Jaina?" she asked. Compassion was new to Mara, and she wasn't sure how to go about trying to comfort someone. She supposed she would just have to wing it. When Jaina made no response she said, "You should tell him, honey."

Jaina shook her head emphatically. "Not until we find Chak."

"What if you never find him? What about when you start showing? And Jag's not a stupid man, Jaina. He's going to figure it out eventually."

"You don't understand," Jaina said. "It's my fault Chak's not safe now. Jag will never forgive me until we find him."

Mara's countenance became suddenly icy. "Did he say that to you?" she hissed softly.

"No," Jaina sniffed. "No. I...I just know."

Mara chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip. "Is it that Jag won't forgive you, or that you won't forgive yourself?"

Before she could respond Luke's voice echoed loudly from the hold. "Mara!"

Mara scowled in the direction of the voice. "What?"

"Mara, I need to talk to you right now."

"Go on," Jaina whispered. She added a small encouraging smile to the gesture. "I'll be fine."

Mara gave her shoulder a final squeeze and stood. When she entered the hold Jag still sat on the small couch looking confused, but Luke was pacing the room, hands clasped behind his back. As soon as she stepped through the hatch he stopped pacing and looked at her. Is she pregnant?

What tipped you off? Mara thought back sardonically.

Mara, this is serious! Is she pregnant?

Mara took a deep breathe. Yes.

Luke started pacing again. She's pregnant and she didn't tell him? Not only that, but she's planning on taking on dozens of Yuuzhan Vong in hand-to-hand? That's insane, Mara!

I know. She thinks it's her fault Jag lost his brother. She refuses to tell him until she gets him back.

"We have to do something," Luke said out loud.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Jag questioned with more than a little irritation.

"Why don't you ask Jaina?" Mara said stiffly.

Jag stood. "Maybe I will."

Jag stood nervously over their temporary bed, wondering how they had gotten there. It seemed less than a week ago his father had told him they were sending the daughter of a princess from the New Republic and that he had to marry her. He had been so angry at Soontir then.

And then he had seen Jaina. He would always remember that night. It wasn't hard to tell her apart from the crowd of Chiss, but she had not been anything like he had expected. Her youth had struck him first, and then the contrasting matureness in her gaze. She was gorgeous, to be sure, but he hadn't really seen the beauty in her until he had gotten that first look into her eyes. And from then on, he had been hooked.

Sure, he hadn't let himself feel the emotion created then for a long time, but it had been there. The longer he was around her the deeper it grew.

So much had happened since then. But he had known through it all that no matter what else happened, she would be there to face it with him. Just like she was now. She had no emotional stake in Chak's fate, but she fought for his freedom because he was Jag's brother, and hers through him. After hearing he was alive, she had promptly drafted Luke and Mara into taking them on the search and rescue mission. No thought to the fact that they could lose their positions in the Navy, or that two Star Destroyers were now in the care of a mere captain. She had put him first.

It was time for him to do the same.

He lay down on the bed beside her, pulling her against his chest. He felt guilty for being angry with her the past few days, and the easiest way to remedy that was to show her how much he really appreciated her. She stiffened in his embrace, as if surprised by his presence. Jag kissed the back of her neck softly. "I'm sorry," is all he said.

"For what?" she questioned.

He sighed. "For the past few days. I'm sorry. I love you, Jaina."

She seemed to soften a little, and let his arms slide the rest of the way around her. "I know," said. "And I love you too."

Jag buried his face in her hair, wondering when the last time they had just been satisfied with each other's presence had been. "Jaina," he began softly, "you're aunt and uncle are acting like something's wrong. I don't like the idea of something they know about you I don't."

Jaina shifted, sighing deeply. "Don't worry about it, Jag."

Jag pushed himself up on one arm and turned her over to face him. "Tell me, Jaina."

Jaina looked as if she was warring within herself, not sure whether to give in or hold firm. "If I tell you you'll make us go back," she said finally.

"Tell me."

She rolled over, turning her back to him. After a few minutes silence she said in a tone barely above a whisper, "I'm pregnant."

Jag blinked a few times, unsure of what she had just said. He had heard the words but his brain refused to recognize them. "What?" he stuttered.

She curled further into herself. "I'm pregnant," she said again.

"I...I don't think I understand," he said, shaking his head. What had she said again?

She rolled over, suddenly looking angry. "What about 'we're going to have a baby' do you not understand?"

It hit him then, and suddenly he had to lay down. "A—a—a baby?"

Jaina sat up on the mattress, folding her legs under her. "A daughter."

Jag looked over at her. A baby. Their baby. A child that was part of both of them, a product of their love. As he saw the hopeful look in her murky brown eyes a sudden heat burned in his chest, a flowering of so many amazing emotions he wasn't sure which was greatest. "Oh gods," he whispered. "That's...that's wonderful!"

He was on his feet with Jaina in his arms before he ever realized he had moved. "A baby!" he exclaimed. She laughed delightedly, pulling him into a kiss. He responded enthusiastically, his heart pounding so loud in his chest he was sure even Luke and Mara could hear it. Jag finally set her back down on the ground, then dropped himself onto his knees. He wrapped his arms around her torso and kissed the spot above her belt buckle. Her fingers ran lovingly through his hair, and he looked up into her smiling face. "That's the best thing I've heard in a long time."

Jaina laughed again, and pulled him to his feet. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that."

He pulled the knuckles of her hand up to his lips. "I think I have an inkling."

Some of the ebullience faded from her eyes. "So you're not mad?"

Jag frowned in confusion. "Why would I be mad?"

She pulled her hands away from him nervously. "Because I didn't tell you sooner and now we're on our way to complete a highly dangerous search-and-rescue mission," she winced.

Jag felt some of the blood drain from his face. He turned away from her, bringing his hand up to his suddenly clammy brow. Did she actually expect him to put his brother before the safety of her and their unborn daughter? She had given up everything for a life with him. Did she expect him to do any less? No, he wouldn't allow it. He spun around, trying to keep his temper from getting the best of him. "When were you planning on telling me this, exactly?"

Her grimace deepened. "After we found Chak."

"What if one of us had died, Jaina? Did you ever think about that? I could have lost you and the baby both, or she might never have known her father!"

"Hanna," Jaina said softly.

"What?" Jag asked, confused.

Jaina fidgeted, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Her name is Hanna."

Jag was stunned. "You already named her? You named her before you even told me?!"

Jaina stood quickly and grabbed his forearms in both of hers. Her expression was pleading as she spoke. "I only found out right before you told me about Chak. And you were so angry...I didn't want to tell you something so wonderful when you were angry with me."

Jag's guilt returned in full force. He pulled her close again, unable to find words sufficient. "I don't know what to tell you, Jaina. I'm sorry. So sorry. I love you so much."

She laid her head thankfully against his chest. "I'm sorry too. I just got so excited when I found out, and I wanted to do something for my dad."

Her dad? he thought. What did Han have to do with it? And then he got it. Hanna. Jag pulled her a little closer. "I understand. If you want to name her Hanna, then we'll name her Hanna."

She smiled up at him. "Thank you."

When they emerged arm in arm, a very thankful expression unfolded over Mara's face. "Did you tell him?"

Jaina nodded, smiling. "We're going to name her Hanna."

Luke's smile was sad. "I think Han would have liked that."

Jaina beamed.

"Now the question is, what are we going to do with you two," Luke continued.

Jag frowned. "What did I do?"

Luke shook his head and pointed at the two women. "Them two."

Mara looked aghast. "Me?"

"Yes, you. You kept this secret too. And you can't possibly think now that I know you're both pregnant that I'm going to continue with this mission. I thought we were going to have two active Jedi on this trip, but with both of you out of commission I'm not going anywhere."

Mara planted her hands defiantly on her hips. "Who says I'm out of commission?"

"I do," Luke returned in the same tone. "If it was just the disease I would say it was your body to do with as you wish, but that's my child your carrying. I have just as much stake in your health as you do."

"It's okay," Jag said to Mara, "I want to turn back anyway. There are too many factor against us for this to be a sane trip."

Jaina looked distraught. "Then what are we going to do about Chak?"

Jag shook his head slowly. "I know he's out there now, and that he's alive. I'm not going give up on him."

Jaina felt her throat constrict as she realized what he was saying. "You want to go on without me." It was not a question.

Jag studied the floor intently. "I have to, Jaina. Can't you see? I can't give up on him."

"I won't let you do this. Going out there by yourself is suicide, Jag!" she practically screamed.

Jag took her hand comfortingly. "You misunderstand me. I know enough to know that trying to do something like we were intending to do here is irrational. I just want to step up the effort I had before Ithor. I am going to find that main transaction post, and I will find him."

Jaina was gaining some of her defiance back. "So you have this all figured out, huh? Tell me, what am I going to be doing while you're gallivanting across the galaxy?"

Jag's confidence didn't waver. "I want to request that Pellaeon give you the Bastion system."

Jaina was shocked. "Bastion? Nothing ever happens there! And besides, that's where the Chimaera is stationed."

"Exactly," Jag smiled. "I know the Admiral's just been itching for a chance to get out into the action."

Jaina scowled deeply. "And I have no choice in this?"

Jag's expression matched her own in fierceness. "You always have a choice. I'm not your master. But, please Jaina, I love you. Do you not know how it would kill me if anything happened to you and Hanna? Can't you do this for me? Please."

Jaina felt suddenly vulnerable, and remembered Luke and Mara who had been listening the whole time while attempting to be inconspicuous. If they had not been there she would have broken down in tears. It's just the hormones, she reminded herself. Hearing Jag's pleadings reminded her of those terrible moments over Ithor when she had thought him lost to her forever. She never wanted to cause him that kind of torment, which would be twofold now that she was carrying his child.

Jaina looked at the floor and sighed. "If that's what you want, then that's what I'll do."

Before he could reply Mara turned a snap retort on Luke. "I hope you don't plan on doing something like that to me."

"Like I could make you," Luke snorted.

"Mara," Jaina interjected, "I know it's probably not what you want, but it would be so much easier on me if you would come along. And you said that you would help with the rest of my training, remember? And we said we would help each other through this."

Mara looked around uncertainly. "I don't know Jaina. I was an Imperial once, and let's just say I don't feel like walking that road again."

"You wouldn't have to join," Luke said, eagerly jumping at the opportunity. "You would just be helping her with her training. It would go along perfect with the other things we planned."

"What have you planned?" Jaina asked.

"We wanted to interject the Jedi into the war effort," Mara explained.

Luke turned to Jag. "We could send Jedi with your task force. They would a great asset in helping to sniff out the slave trade."

Jag's eyes brightened at the suggestion. "How many can you spare and how soon can they get here?"