2- Charades
Winter. Her favorite time of year. She could sit and stare at the falling snow for hours and never get enough of it. But not today. She spent the morning at the library, working on a huge paper for her least favorite course. So far, her second year in college wasn't as great as the first one. Most courses started to get somewhat repetitive and therefore boring. She dated one of her classmates, but had just dumped him couple of days ago with no particular reason. Simply because her instincts told her to. And there wasn't a time when she ignored her instincts. She practically lived according to them.
So she was single again, and extremely frustrated thanks to that hellish paper she had no idea how to start, and to top it all off, she had to go back home for a few weeks. Since she spent the summer at the campus, her parents and Anthony pressed her to come over during her holiday break. She ignored them at first, spending Halloween and Thanksgiving at the campus. Now Christmas was two weeks away, and she planned to get home for Christmas Eve and get it over with, but eventually she got so tired from their nagging that she agreed to come over earlier. She was about to leave in two days, and stay until after Christmas, which meant three weeks of torture at home sweet home, the Johnson residence at New Jersey. And not only that, she would be there just in time for her parents' annual Christmas party. Her nose wrinkled in discontent, and she dropped her pen and leaned her head against her arm. It was a party mostly for her father's colleagues, always sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and always at their house since her father was the head of the firm. Also, it was always so snobbish and so damn boring, but it was expected from her to be there, to allow her parents to pull off their "happy little family" act. And she, the Broadway actress-to-be, was expected to play along.
God, she wished she wouldn't have to go there. She would have preferred to be stuck in that library with 5 more papers just as hellish as this one, than having to go back home and-
A sudden blow of wind close to her ear made her nearly fall off the chair with a start. Someone turned to shoot her a glare, and she flashed him an apologetic smile. Then she turned to her left, ready to snap at the person who dared to scare her like that.
One look at him, and her anger was quickly melting away. A huge smile replaced her frown as she jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him. "You bastard, you scared the hell out of me."
Collins had that smug, amused expression on his face, as if he was very proud of himself. "I know. Wasn't it fun though?" he asked, hugging her back.
All around them, people were raising their heads, as if looking around for the source of interruption. Well, she definitely got the distraction she hoped for. She grabbed her books and stuffed everything into her backpack. "Come on, let's get out of here."
Once outside, she wrapped a stripped white and blue scarf around her neck, pulled a pair of gloves on her hands and put on a small, dark blue woolen hat. Then she turned her attention to Collins, who was watching her grinning. "What are you doing here?" she asked as they walked along one path.
"I'm on my way back to New York, so I thought I'd stop by and wish my best friend Merry Christmas."
She stopped, incredibly touched by what he had just said. Probably more than she should have been. No one ever did that for her. "Oh honey… Merry Christmas to you too," she said, giving him a hug. She held him for a moment, and then slowly let go. "Can I interest you with some hot chocolate? With cream and cinnamon and marshmallow? I kind of wanna talk."
"Cream and cinnamon and marshmallow, oh my," said Collins, snaking his arm around hers. "Sure. Lead the way."
They got really close after that far away day at the end of the summer. As if to make it up for the awkward note in which their relationship had started, he asked her for coffee the day after the party, and they sat there and talked for hours. He was gone before the new semester started, but stopped by to visit her whenever he could. Staying in touch was difficult, because she was never very good with letters and long-distance calls cost more than she could afford. Yet somehow they made it work.
He had no idea how right he was when he first predicted a wonderful friendship for them. They had so much in common, that he soon became the brother that Anthony failed to be. He never judged her, he never made fun of her decision to become an actress, he never tried to force his opinions on her. On the contrary; he made her feel new confidence about her choices. He told her about New York, where he lived with several roommates when he wasn't around teaching. He lived at the Lower East Side, in the Village, the heart of Bohemian life, where people were mostly hungry and frozen.
They walked into a small café at the far end of the campus. It was warm and cozy inside, so she took off her coat, scarf, gloves and hat, stuffing the last three in her backpack. Collins led her to a small table near a window, and pulled out a chair for her. He always did that; opened doors and pulled out chairs, all those sweet, little gentlemanly gestures that made girls fall at his feet.
"So how are ya?" she asked once the waiter set their orders in front of them.
"Fine. Can't wait to get home already. New York City is quite a sight on Christmas time."
"Stop, you're gonna make me jealous," she laughed.
"Nah, I'm sure you'll get a chance to see it in its Christmas glory someday."
"I hope so." She stirred her hot chocolate. "How's Greg?"
"I… don't know," he replied, his expression changing from end to end. He looked at her sadly. "We broke up a month ago."
"Oh, Collins… I'm so sorry." She really liked Greg. In spite of that first impression she had made on him at the night of the party, Collins introduced her again several days later, and there was great chemistry between them. She thought that Collins and him was the most adorable couple, always caring for one another and such. She was surprised to hear it was over. She wondered why he didn't tell her sooner.
"Yeah. Long-distance relationships never work. Take my word on it." He sipped his drink. "How about you? Dating anyone interesting?"
"Just the same old sex-craved scums. I just dumped someone," she added casually, reaching for her mug again.
Collins let out a long whistle. "Another one? Boy, you're a little heart-breaker, aren't you?" She pouted, which made him laugh. "And how's school?"
"That's… kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," she said slowly. She gave it a lot of thought in the past couple of weeks, but she didn't feel confident enough to make this decision all by herself. It actually surprised her, because she never needed other people to help her with her decisions. She just knew what she wanted; she didn't need anyone else's advice.
Collins leaned forward, looking intrigued. "What's wrong?"
"What am I doing here, Collins?" she asked, more desperately than she intended. "This is not who I was meant to be. It was great when it started but now… it feels like my life is standing still, and I can't be still, Collins, I'll die if I will."
"So what do you want?"
"I wanna get out of here." She didn't realize how much she wanted that until it was out in the open. "I don't wanna sit here and wait until the academic world will bury me alive. I have to get out of here."
"Then get out of here," he said. It sounded so simple.
"Do you really think I should?"
"Unless you prefer to stay here until you rot."
"Hell no."
"Then follow your heart and it'll take you where you wanna go."
She frowned. "God, Collins, you sound like a fucking greeting card."
Collins laughed, and then got serious again. "This is what you really want, Momo?" he asked softly, looking straight at her.
She took a moment to think it over, although it wasn't really necessary. She knew what her reply was going to be. She returned his look, her eyes serious and confident. "Yeah. This is what I really want."
"You once told me that you could be extremely persistent when you knew what you wanted. It's time to start being persistent then."
"I guess it is." She sipped her chocolate. It was warm and sweet and sort of comforting. Then something occurred to her and she placed the mug on the table. "I'll have to break this to my parents. That should be fun."
"You're going back home?"
"Yeah, in a couple of days." She suddenly got the greatest idea. "Hey, why don't you come with me? My parents are giving the most boring party but you can keep me company. Ooh! We can tell them you're my boyfriend," she added, smiling evilly.
Collins laughed, but then shook his head, looking at her sorrowfully. "Thanks, sweetie, but I can't. I gotta go back home." He reached out and took her hand in his. "I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."
Suddenly, she didn't feel so sure, but she still smiled reassuringly. "I always do."
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The house was in chaos when she got there at noon two days later. People from the catering company were all over the first floor, arranging tables and trays and dishes, talking frantically to one another. In one end of the room stood an enormous, white Christmas tree. She frowned once it caught her sight. They never had normal Christmas trees, ever. The holiday season always made her mother, an art designer in profession, extra creative. She had no idea where they managed to find a white tree, but there it was, bare and weird-looking, waiting to be decorated. In the middle of everything stood her mother, orchestrating the preparations.
She dropped her suitcase, which earned her a scorning look from a caterer who almost tripped over it, and walked into the living-room. Her mother finally noticed her, and gave her her version of a smile- a slight twist of her lips, barely noticeable in her grave face.
"Maureen. You're finally here," she said, in a voice that stood in complete contradiction with the normal implications of the word "finally." Of course, she wasn't expecting a parade for her return, but she hoped for a little more enthusiasm, especially in light of the fact that the last time she was home was exactly a year ago. Who was she kidding?
"Hi mom," she replied, walking over to kiss her mom on both cheeks, only by force of habit.
"How was your flight? I'm sorry we couldn't come and pick you up, but your father and Anthony got a last minute case, which left me here to handle this mess by myself," she said a bit too dramatically, gesturing the living-room.
She was sure her mother enjoyed every bit of it. Managing and bossing around was second nature for her. "That's fine."
"How is school?"
"Well, I actually need to talk to you ab-"
"Excuse me, young man, this goes to the other side, along with the plum-colored napkins, not the lilac ones!" It took her a moment to realize that her mother was addressing one of the caterers. Then she brought her attention back to her, well, sort of, for her eyes still followed the caterer from over her shoulder. "I'm sorry, dear. You were saying?"
She sighed. What made her think that this time would be different? "Nothing important. I'm gonna go up to my room now, unless you need my help down here."
"No, that's okay. You go ahead, everything here is under control. Your dress for tonight is on your bed."
Now she couldn't even choose her own clothes? "Mom, that's okay, I have-"
Her mother shook her head. "Maureen, please. Tonight is very important to your father. His partnership with the Jeffersons is going to be announced. We don't want to upset him, don't we?"
She was sure that the world would not come to an end if she'd wear something else, but decided not to dwell on that. She had to keep her strength. She'd let them do things their way before she'd make her move. Suddenly she couldn't wait until she would.
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She had to admit that her mother chose well. The dress she found on her bed was deep purple. It got to her ankles and wrapped around her perfectly. Knowing her mom, the dress probably matched the color of the napkins, that matched the color of Anthony's tie. She met him briefly before, on her way to the bathroom. Like the rest of the family, he was never the type to express any sort of emotion, but she was still surprised by his cold, mumbled welcome. Not that she was mad or disappointed. Screw him. Screw them all. She deserved a better family than that.
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Boring, just as she expected. Nothing has changed from the previous year, except for some new interns of her father's who kept undressing her with their eyes. One of them was courageous enough to step forward and ask her if she wanted to go out sometime and get to know each other a bit better. One glare shushed him up immediately, and he went back, defeated, to join his friends. Yuck. She would have set them up with one another, if it was up to her.
She downed a second glass of champagne and made her way to her father's den. She opened the door to discover that someone was already in there. A young woman raised her head when she walked in, obviously startled. Then she laughed softly and closed the book she was reading in, laying in on the desk. "Must be the worst party of the century, huh?"
She returned the strange woman's smile and closed the door. Walking into the room, she got a chance to observe her more closely. She looked slightly older than herself, maybe by a couple of years or so. The dress she wore looked expensive, in a soft, ivory shade that was in perfect tune with her chocolate-colored skin. "Well, it definitely beats last year," she replied.
The stranger looked horrified to hear this. "You've been here last year too?"
"I usually don't make the same mistake twice, but this time it was out of my control."
The woman laughed and outstretched her hand. "I'm Joanne Jefferson."
Didn't her mother mention the name Jefferson as her dad's new partner at the firm? "Maureen Johnson," she smiled, reaching out her own hand.
Joanne's smile seemed to freeze. Her hand dropped to the side of her body. "Oh. The daughter of-"
"Bill Johnson, that's right," she nodded, kind of amused by Joanne's reaction. Clearly she was embarrassed by what she had just said about her parents' party, but she couldn't have been more right.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
"Nah, don't worry about it. It was actually a sort of relief to know that I'm not the only one who thinks this party sucks."
Joanne laughed, but still kind of nervously. "It does, doesn't it?"
There was a moment of silence, in which they were just observing one another, like two little girls that were forced to play together. When it started to get a bit awkward, she decided she should be the one to continue their conversation. "So your dad is my dad's new partner?"
"Yeah, I think they'll announce it in a bit," said Joanne. She paused, then asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a student of American History in a snobbish college in Massachusetts, but I've just decided to drop out and go to New York and become an actress." She wasn't sure what made her say all that to a stranger she has just met. And Joanne did look sort of intimidated. "What do you do?"
"I had just started my internship at my dad's office." Great, she thought, another law student. "I guess I mean our dads' office," Joanne corrected with a small smile.
"I guess." She was about to warn her about Anthony's arrogance, but just then the door opened and a man peered inside. He smiled when he noticed Joanne.
"Oh, there you are, Kitten. We're ready for the toast." Then his gaze shifted from Joanne to her, and back to Joanne. "Making friends, Kitten?"
"Daddy, this is Maureen, she's Mr. Johnson's daughter. Maureen, that's my dad, Harold Jefferson." It sounded as if Joanne was really close to her father. She almost envied her, although it felt strange to envy someone she knew for no more than15 minutes.
Mr. Jefferson's eyes lightened when Joanne told him who she was. "Oh! I heard so much about you! Pleasure to meet you, my dear," he said, shaking her hand enthusiastically.
"You too." He looked like a really nice guy. She pitied him. He had absolutely no idea what he was getting himself into.
"Come along now, you two. You don't want to miss this wonderful party, do you?"
She met Joanne's eyes, and rolled her eyes. Joanne stifled a giggle as they followed Mr. Jefferson back to the party.
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"No you are not!"
"Yes, I am!"
"No, you are not! And that's my final word on this issue!"
Her father was glaring at her, red-faced and furious. Her mother was sitting at the corner of the room, silent and expressionless. Not that she expected any sort of defense or support from her; her father always had the last word whatsoever. She had just told them she was dropping out. She still wasn't sure whether or not to complete the spring semester as well, but either way she has made her choice. She was going out of there.
"I will not allow my daughter to go out and pursue a non-existing acting career that will lead her nowhere, do you understand me?"
"Why, because it'll ruin our perfect family's reputation? I don't give a shit!"
"Watch it, Maureen," Anthony snapped at her, looking at her narrow-eyed.
"Stay out of it, Anthony, this is none of your business!"
"But it's my business. And you will not leave college to become an actress on Broadway or whatever!"
"Just watch me, daddy," she said, her voice icy-cold.
This seemed to have caught her father somewhat off-guard, but he soon snapped put of it and said, just as coldly, "Do it, and don't bother to come back here."
From the corner of her eye, she saw her mother getting up. "Bill-"
He raised his hand, stopping her mother's attempt to protest. She sank back to her chair. "No. Our little girl wants to learn a lesson in independence. Well, let her have it. But she'll have to deal with the consequences." He looked at her again. She hardly recognized her father in the face of that man. "So make your choice."
"I have made my choice, dad," she said quietly. She really wasn't apt to making a scene. This was not her intention at all. Of course, she didn't expect their blessing, but she didn't think it would get to this. "I just wanted you'd accept it. I'll do it with or without your support. It's just gonna be tougher without it." She didn't meet his eyes. She couldn't. She left the room without looking back, suddenly feels like crying. And yet, at the same time, a sense of satisfaction and victory made her blood rush. She was filled with new determination. She would leave the following week. She smiled, realizing that it meant she'd get her chance to be in New York on Christmas time after all. She had enough money, she'd be okay for a while, until she'd find herself a job. She didn't need their false advices and concerns. She was sick and tired of charades. She was going to make it. On her own.