I dreamed a dream
Chapter 4
"Ennis?" he said, slowly getting out of the truck.
The figure straightened itself quickly, and came forward. In the soft glow given off by the moon, full and bright, as if to cast a magical haze upon their meeting, Jack discerned Ennis' features, all silver angles and golden curls.
"Jack." Ennis whispered, "Jack fuckin' Twist".
And instead of a dashing run, he moved in slow, measured steps. When he reached Jack, instead of a mad embrace, his hand came up to caress Jack's cheek, to caress all of Jack's face like a blind man remembering familiar territory. He felt more than saw that Jack had shaved off that mustache of his, maybe the passing remark he'd made last time about Jack taking on Aguirre's look had not gone unmarked.
Jack was trembling slightly at the butterfly touch, and his body moved towards Ennis' of its own accord.
Then, when it felt like they were going to die if they didn't… they kissed. Soft and slow, lips teasing, tongues darting out for a small taste, then retreating. They stood, foreheads touching, hands on the other's shoulders, breathing deeply.
"Oh, Ennis…" was the only thing Jack could gasp.
"I came, lil' darlin'… I made it." said Ennis, and the look in Jack's eyes when he did was sweet and sad and so beautiful Ennis almost cried. For once in a long time, Jack's eyes were those of the dreamer back in the mountain.
Jack seemed to realize where they were then, and chastised himself for keeping Ennis out like an unwelcome guest.
"Well friend, I figgered that if you had a lot to talk about, it might be best to give us some privacy, so I borrowed a cabin off a friend of mine… " he said, steering Ennis toward the front door, "but afore we head there, we ought to have some dinner, you done a lot of drivin' now. Come on in."
They went inside, and Ennis was taken aback by how nice Jack's house seemed, compared to his old apartment with Alma, with his rackety trailer.
They moved towards the kitchen, and Ennis saw a teenage boy sitting in the table, a book opened in front of him, a look of disgruntled concentration on his face. He was the spitting image of Jack, a fifteen-year-old Jack.
"Bobby, this here is Ennis del Mar" Jack introduced him, "Ennis, this is my boy Bobby."
"How you doin'?" said Ennis, his usual quiet tone.
"Hi Mr. del Mar, I've heard some 'bout you from my daddy. You his fishin' buddy, right? Sure is nice to meet you." said Bobby, smile big and bright as a flashbulb, just like his daddy, a little knowing in his blue eyes.
"Bobby, where is your momma?" asked Jack, looking around the kitchen.
"Uh, she said she had some meetin', somethin' 'bout developin' businesspeople. Left you a note in the counter."
"Developin' business people… I tell you this ain't no marriage" muttered Jack under his breath. He picked up the note, which read 'Jack, I left some pot roast in the oven for dinner, just warm it up. Hope you have a good weekend with your friend.'
"Well, at least we got some dinner. Fancy pot roast, Ennis?" said Jack, fiddling with the oven.
"Yeah, sure. Juss don't burn down the house messin' with that oven, rodeo." teased Ennis, slipping into one of their nicknames.
Bobby chuckled from his place in the table and said, "You sure know my daddy alright, Mr. del Mar."
"Now don't you go an' disrespect your old man, eh?" shot back Jack, a smile in his voice, "You finished your homework yet, son?" seriousness replacing the smile.
"Well, daddy, I'm almost done, but it's so hard to read… I feel so…"
"Don't you say it Bobby, don't you dare say it. Now, remember what that tutor said, the one we snuck out to see? You ain't slow, or stupid, your eyes just look at letters upside down sometimes. She gave you some good exercises, right?" said Jack, a fatherly tone of concern in his voice. Ennis had never seen that side of him.
"Yeah, daddy."
"Well, you keep on doin' them. It isn't gonna work miracle-like Bobby, but you gotta keep trying. And don't you let anyone tell you you're stupid. You're my son, and if we ain't much for rodeoin', Twists are sharp, alright son?" continued Jack, a hand squeezing Bobby's shoulder.
"Alright, daddy." said Bobby, a loving smile on his face.
While Jack continued to be a fire hazard around the kitchen, Ennis was thinking about what he had witnessed. He never really thought of Jack as a caring father, maybe because he had always seemed so ready to drop everything to have that sweet life with Ennis. Maybe because he'd once said he had never wanted this life, but life didn't care what he wanted. Still, Ennis could see just how much he loved his boy, and how much Bobby looked up to Jack, how he took after him. Perhaps this hadn't been the life Jack wanted, but when it came to his son, he had done right by him.
'Shit, it woulda been just as hard for 'im to leave Bobby… but he woulda done it for me.' he thought sadly. 'I always said I couldn't leave on account o' my girls, but maybe I was usin' them as an excuse for my own goddam fear.'
And with his mind still reeling with these thoughts, he had a nice, if somewhat overdone, pot roast dinner with Jack and Bobby.
After dinner they'd driven to the cabin Jack had borrowed, and at last settled in, they were relaxing by the fire, passing a whisky bottle back and forth.
Jack was feeling calm and warm, basking in the warmth of the fire, even if it was summer, it was always cool at night in the mountain. He was breathing in the scent of evergreen, the scent of Ennis sitting next to him. He was thinking about what Ennis had to say, and about the fact he and Lureen had been talking about divorce for a few weeks now. There were too many things going around and around in his brain, so he took the bottle from Ennis, had a long drink and shut his brain off. 'Just be with Ennis, you sumbitch' he thought 'It ain't no time to speculate on the cost of divorce lawyers.'
Ennis was doing quite a lot of thinking himself, though none of it revolved around the divorce legislation of the State of Texas. He was gathering his strength, and all the words in his being to finally let out what he'd come here to say.
He glanced over at Jack, took a deep breath and sat up.
"Jack… you must be wonderin' what I wanted to talk about" he bagan, with trepidation in his words.
"Well, the thought had crossed my mind, cowboy" shot back Jack with a lazy grin.
"Now, don't go an' tease me right now, Jack. I'm… tryin' to tell you somethin' serious"
"I'm sorry Ennis… what is it?" asked Jack, playfulness gone from his tone, taking one of Ennis' hands in his own.
"Well… I done me some thinkin'. It's prob'ly gonna sound right silly, but I was hearin' this song Jack… about a dream. And about what happened to the person who dreamed it, an' never got that dream…" Ennis' eyes were downcast, his hands shaking almost imperceptibly.
"Jack, last time me an' you said things… no, I know, don't interrupt me now" he said, when Jack was about to say something about the fight. "We said things… and they were the truth. And when I remembered them things, and them years we've known each other… I realized that dreamin' had never been enough. 'Cause you weren't the only dreamer Jack, the only one who wanted that sweet life. I was' just too scared to admit it's what I wanted too."
He stopped then, was quiet for a long moment. Jack's heart was beating fast, his eyes flying between their clasped hands and the lowered face of the man next to him.
Ennis looked up then, looked deep into his eyes, warm chocolate brown meeting endless indigo blue.
"Jack… I'm sorry for the hurtin' I've put you through… I… well, you see, the truth is I…"
A sharp, hard knock interrupted whatever words Ennis was going to say. Both men jumped, and Jack's face drained of color when they heard a hoarse, drunken yell.
"Open up, Jack Twist. I know you in there! Brought by a new friend to the cabin, huh? Open the hell up!"
It was Randall.
Author's note: well, the boys are together at last! And I'm sorry for taking the liberty of shaving Jack's mustache, I just think he looks SO much better without it!.
No words suffice to thank you for the feedback, I swear you can't imagine how happy it has made me to know you guys are liking this story!