Chapter 5! Woohoo!

Oh, and if it hasn't dawned upon you yet, this is something of a self-insert sort of thing. Its not Agent HUNK from Resident Evil (Although that is a good idea...), its Agent HUNK, the guy who's story you're hopefully enjoying.

Omake was okay, you say? Hurray!

"Just a bit further!" Rukia gasped for breath as she and H turned a street corner, "There!" She pointed at a simple looking store. And much to their misfortune, the lights were out and the door was locked, or so it seemed. "Uh oh..." Rukia slowed down. However, H kept running. "What are you doing?!"

"Going inside!" H yelled with a twisted grin. Still going full speed, he dove straight through the door. Whatever material it was made of, paper, wood, stone, it didn't stand a chance. Rukia gaped at the hole her ally had made. "You comin'?" H poked his head through the gap.

"Uhhhh..." Rukia ran over to join him. But just as she was about to step inside, H was struck over the head with a cane.

"What's going on here?" Urahara kicked H's body once it had hit the ground.

"Urahara!" Rukia yelled with mixed emotions. She was happy because he could save them, but angry because he had knocked out H.

"Yes?" the hat-headed salesman replied, "What can I do for you at this late an hour?" A devilish smirk decorated his face. "Do you need special services for your Gigai?"

'Pervert...' Rukia thought. "We need help!"

"Oh yeah? And who's this guy?" Urahara kicked H again.

"A friend of mine. He hunts Hollows, but doesn't have a weapon."

"Why's he need one now?"

"There's a Hollow hunting us!"

"That's a bit ironic..."

"Urahara, do something!"

"Alright, lemme think..." Urahara sighed, "How will you be paying for this purchase?"

WHAM!

"URAHARA!!!" Rukia socked her business partner, "STOP BEING GREEDY AND HELP US!!!"

"Alright, alright," Urahara nursed his swollen lip, "I'll put it on your tab." Rukia glared daggers at him. "I'm kidding..."

"Wha' happened?" H weakly raised his head.

"I knocked you out because you broke into my store," Urahara smiled.

"Oh. Put it on my bill!" H replied.

"Oh, I will. I will..." Urahara's eyes gleamed with happyness.

"You shouldn't have said that," Rukia frowned.

In the distance, the echoing howls of an angry Hollow filled the air. "Um, so what kind of weapons you need?"

"Anything!" Rukia exclaimed.

"Got anything big? And shiny? Preferably something that fires hollow-point rounds," H grinned.

"Hollow-point?" Rukia raised an eyebrow.

"I've never heard of that type of weapon," Urahara scratched his chin. "I'll have to make something and call it that, though..."

"Its not a weapon," H smirked, "Its a bullet. A bullet that makes a big boom! Don't ever get hit by one. It'll make whatever part you get hit at explode..."

"That's nice..." Rukia commented queesily.

"Sorry, I don't sell guns," Urahara shrugged.

"No guns?" H frowned.

"None."

"Chainsaw?"

"Nope."

"Grenades?"

"No."

"Lightsabre?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. Rocket launcher?"

"That falls under guns."

"No it doesn't..."

"Well I still don't have one."

"Gya!" H pulled at his hair. "Do you have a crowbar?!"

Urahara pulled a shiny red crowbar out of his jacket. "Here ya go."

"And why did you have a crowbar in your jacket?" Rukia raised an eyebrow.

"Fuesbox went out and the lid was stuck," Urahara pointed up at the ceiling lights.

"Oh... well I think he was being sarcastic about the crowbar..."

"No, no. This is perfect," H grinned wickedly.

-----

The Hollow was quite angry. It had been blown up and torn apart, and after regenerating from its injuries, it had resolved to rip those pesky humans apart slowly and savor their taste. The Hollow's mouth watered at the mere thought of eating them. Especially the girl, who gave off the faint aura of a Soul Reaper. As the Hollow followed their trail, it turned onto an abandoned street. What it saw caused it to stop dead in its tracks. "Huh?"

"Hi there!" H greeted it. He was standing in the middle of the road, leaning against a lightpole. He had removed his entire suit, and was now in his Kevlar and leather uniform. His arms were crossed, and the crowbar was hung on his left elbow. "I was wondering when you'd show up!"

"What is the meaning of this?" the Hollow hissed.

"Meaning of what? I want a fair fight," H shrugged.

"Fair fight?" the Hollow's face fell. "Fair fight?"

"Yes, a fair fight," H shrugged.

"Okay, then. I'll give you a fair fight!" the Hollow sneared. With a fierce howl, it dove at H. He dove out of its way and pressed himself against a wall.

"Hah!" H laughed.

"Move away!" Urahara motioned from the hole that had once been his door.

"Huh?" H looked over at him.

"Move away from my-"

KRAAASH!

The Hollow tackled H, and they both crashed through the wall behind him. "Shop..." Urahara's face fell. "My beautiful store..." he wimpered as tears welled in his eyes.

When the dust cleared, the Hollow was laying on the floor. H was standing on its neck, trying his hardest to pry the Hollow's mask off with the crowbar. It was not amused. "What. Are. You. Doing?"

"Trying to tear your face off?" H smiled nervously.

"And you expected that to work?"

"Yeah... kinda..."

"Maybe I shouldn't eat you," the Hollow frowned, "You'll make my IQ drop."

"Hey, that isn't- huh?" H stopped talking when Urahara suddenly walked over to them and placed the tip of his cane on the Hollow's face. The Hollow blinked dumbly, confused as to why there was a cane poking it in the nose.

"What are you doing?" it sneered.

"You damaged my store," Urahara growled, tightening his grip on his cane. "That'll cost you."

KRUNCH!

The Hollow roared in agony as Urahara impaled his cane through it's mask. H was thrown into the air and landed on top of Rukia, who had been hiding behind a bunch of cardboard boxes. "Ow..." they both grunted. The Hollow flailed and flopped around on the floor, snapping its claws at Urahara. But the shopkeeper just stood there, watching the monster die. The Hollow began to disentigrate, and just as its claws were about to crush Urahara's head, they dissappeared.

"Well, that was interesting..." Urahara picked his blood-drenched cane up off the floor. "How will you two be paying?"

"For the crowbar?" H held up the bent and battered tool.

"No," Urahara frowned, "The damages."

"WHAT?!" H and Rukia both hit the floor in shock. (A/N: Anime falls are funny...)

"I didn't do it!" Rukia pointed at H. "He did it!"

"What!?" H jumped to his feet. "You're the Soul Reaper!"

"You hunt Hollows!"

"That isn't my job, though!"

"Well you bragged about it earlier!"

"I wasn't bragging!"

Urahara's face fell further and further as the arguement continued.

"Well hunting monsters is still your job!" Rukia yelled.

"No, doing odd jobs is my job!" H retorted.

At this, Urahara's eyes sparkled. "Odd jobs?"

"Huh?" H turned around.

"I think I know how you can pay me back," Urahara grinned.

'Well, H did say he came was looking for a job...' Rukia smirked to herself.

I hope you're all enjoying it! Review, please!