So it doesn't seem like there is too much compassion out there for Julie. LOL Which I guess I expected. I hope you're all happy with the way things are going.

Anyhow next chapter coming up. Enjoy!

Marissa's retreat

Ryan pulled out of the driveway and started off on the road to home. Marissa had calmed down a little and was staring out the window. But he could see that she had tears silently running down her face.

"Ris. It's all right. We are going home. You don't have to see her." He tried to reassure her.

"I know."

"We'll just go back to the house and have a quiet lunch. Just the two of us. Then we can do what ever you want. Watch a movie or go for a walk on the beach. Maybe go visit the diner? Anything you like." Ryan suggested.

"I want to go back to LA." Marissa said. Her voice was so…flat. It was as if she had removed all the emotion from it.

"Yeah….we will… tonight." Ryan was hoping that they could spend some time together and re-establish the feelings of togetherness that seemed to have disappeared so suddenly.

"No now." She said quietly but firmly.

He didn't like the lack of emotion in her voice. It scared him more than when she was yelling at him. It seemed the only way she was coping was to turn off all her feelings. Good and bad.

"But I thought you liked it here at Newport?" he asked.

"Not when my mother is here. I want to put as much distance as possible between us." she explained.

Ryan was silent.

Marissa continued. "If you don't want to go back yet then I'll get a cab or something. I can't stay here. I know you probably think I'm some sort of loony for the way I acted back there and I'm sorry… but knowing she was close just brought it all back to me. The loneliness, the hopelessness, the feelings of abandonment that I went through, I couldn't do it."

"It's okay." Ryan assured her.

"If you want to rethink our discussion on the way there, then I'll understand." She looked out of the window. She knew if she looked at him then she would come undone. "I know that wasn't exactly my finest hour."

Ryan turned the last corner to his house and waited for the garage doors to open. When he had stopped the car he turned to her and said. "Nothing has changed for me. Exactly as I said to you earlier, nothing your mother could say or do could ever change the way I feel about you."

"But that's just it. It wasn't anything she did. It was me that went through the meltdown and started screaming at you like a shrew. I'll understand if you don't want anything more to do with me."

"Ris..." he shook his head starting to feel frustrated with saying the same thing over and over again but then he remembered just how alone Marissa had been and how insecure she was obviously feeling. He picked up her hand and twisted the ring around her finger. "Do you remember what this is?"

She looked down and nodded. "It's a promise ring."

"Not just A promise ring. It's MY promise ring… to you. I thought I'd made myself clear when I bought it. I don't make promises lightly. I see them through. So unless you've had a change of heart then everything is as it was before we left here this morning."

"So the conversation in the car on the way there doesn't count anymore?" She asked.

Ryan smiled. "Oh it counts alright. Don't think you can get out if it. You said yes and I'm holding you to that."

"Are you sure you still want to. After seeing me totally lose it back there. Your family will all think I should be locked up like my mother wanted to do after Tijuana."

"No "our' family will just be disappointed that they weren't able to be there for you to help you through the last few years when you've had to manage by yourself. I think I probably needed something like this to fully appreciate just how strong you really are…. I don't think I could have managed without them, when I thought you had ditched me and moved on. You were right. I didn't talk to them but I always knew if I needed them they would have done anything for me. I can't imagine how you got through it on your own."

"I wasn't just on my own. I had my shrink and my little blue pills. Without them I don't think I could have done it."

"Well maybe I'll have to thank Julie sometime for getting you to go to the shrink. At least he helped you get through everything so that we have gotten to where we are now. And if I remember correctly, you have promised to marry me."

Marissa tried to smile and nodded. "I love you."

"I love you to."

"But I still want to go back to LA. I want to put as much space between me and her as possible. Can we just grab our things and go now?"

"Sure. If that's what you want. Just give me 10 minutes and the LA express will be on the way."

---

Marissa was quiet on the way back to LA. At first, Ryan thought she had fallen asleep but then he realised that she was still playing with her ring. Obviously she wanted to appear to be asleep so she didn't have to talk. Ryan didn't know what he could say or do to make things right between them. Even though they had spoken about what had happened he knew that some part of him was disappointed that he hadn't been able to convince Marissa to talk to Julie.

He wanted the Julie issue over and done with and he was concerned that by leaving, Marissa was just running away and that at some time in the future this would come back to haunt them. He knew that it had created a distance between them and try as he may he couldn't think of how to get rid of it.

When they got back to the apartment building, they made their way up from the car park in the penthouse's private lift. The silence between them was almost deafening. Ryan couldn't help but remember that the last time they were in that lift was on the way home from Tiffany's on Friday afternoon when they'd bought the promise ring and they hadn't been able to keep their hands off one another. Hard to imagine that he had removed her g string and had fingered her in the corner of this very same lift only 2 days before and now they couldn't even find anything to say to one another.

As they entered the apartment Marissa started to move towards the bedroom. "I'm going to take a shower." She stated.

Ryan looked at her wondering if he should offer to join her or not.

Marissa looked back at him knowing exactly what was going through his mind. "I think I'd just like to be alone. I've got a lot on my mind right now."

Ryan nodded. He was disappointed and yet he did understand that she had a lot to deal with. "Why don't you have a bath? Maybe a nice long soak will make things seem better?"

She gave him a small smile "Thanks. I think I might just do that." She hesitated. "What will you do?"

He wondered if she was concerned that he would come and want to join her. But he could see she wanted her space, at least for the moment. He hoped that 'the moment' was all it was for and that they would be able to get passed all this. "Um…There's a football game on I might watch. Would you like something to eat? Maybe I'll order some pizza…. Pizza, beer, football… sounds like a regular Sunday afternoon." He shrugged his shoulders hoping she would want to join him when she had finished with her bath.

"You go right ahead. I'm not hungry." Marissa turned and made her way into the bedroom leaving Ryan watching her receding figure.