Faust Was Farce
The girls decided to camp out on the living room floor that night, curled up together under a large blanket on a bed of sheets over the plush carpet. When being together had seemed a given they'd strayed apart, almost strangers under their shared roof. Now under the threat of losing each other, they clung desperately to their bonds.
Professor Utonium, however, didn't find sleep so easily. Could not permit it. He was instead in his lab below, bringing up years-old files and analyzing them, hoping a suspicion he'd ignored for years might bear fruit.
He saw his visitor's reflection in the polished surface of the metal cabinet doors.
"Very clever. I suppose they don't call you 'Professor' for nothing, do they?" Him's sing-song voice rang out. Professor didn't bother turning around. "But, really, isn't this just a technicality?"
He left his computer to run its calculations, turning to put a question mark next to a line on a notepad. He'd tried hard to come up with every single possible way his girls could escape this. Any thread, however thin, that could be used to lift them from the coming fire.
Him continued, unphased. "All the same, it seems there is some power in technicalities. I was so hoping to keep you around long enough to watch the downfall of your little darlings. Though I suppose they're not so little any more, are they? In any case, Professor, I believe you know why I'm here."
Professor ignored him, tapping his pencil on the next point on the notepad, wondering if there was any way it applied to their situation.
Him frowned, but Professor did not see this. He did, however, hear Him's change in voice. "I've come to collect!"
Professor dropped the pencil and drew his hand in, gripping his chest and gasping in momentary pain. Then there was a sharp crack, like miniature lighting, and the pain subsided.
"What's this?" Him demanded, astonished. His voice remained deep and menacing, as it would for the remainder of his visit.
Professor took a few moments to catch his breath again. Only when he was ready did he turn to face the devil. To look him in the face for the first time in nearly a decade.
"You're the one who had to bring up technicalities," he said. "Go on, look at it."
Him scowled and unfurled a yellowed scroll from thin air. Only a few people throughout the ages had seen such a contract. Those people all knew the power behind them, as well. The terms were enforced not by the power of the devil, but by that of their own immortal souls. After all, who would make deal with the devil if they believed the fiend could change or ignore the terms at a whim?
Him read it aloud as Professor pretended to resume his work. In truth, he was too distracted to give anything but Him his full attention, but he didn't want to show it.
"'I, the undersigned, hereby agree that the devil, a.k.a. Lucifer, a.k.a. that old snake,' yadda yadda yadda, 'has full rights to and control of my mortal life and immortal soul,' blah blah blah--accursed boilerplate. 'That the devil and all his demonic forces shall not directly influence, harass, attack, or otherwise interfere with the lives of Blossom Utonium, Bubbles Utonium, and Buttercup Utonium, also known as the Powerpuff Girls, and that such restraint shall remain until September the sixth, in the year of our Lord 2015, hitherto noted as their eighteenth birthday.
"Likewise, said forces shall avoid said activities against the undersigned until the aforementioned Powerpuff Girls begin the first day of their fourteenth year of life. Failure by the devil or any of his demonic forces to comply with the above terms shall result in their inability to, from that moment and three hundred years hence, directly or indirectly influence, harass, attack, or otherwise interfere with the lives of any member of the aforementioned members of the Utonium family, their spouses, or their descendants.'"
Him let the scroll roll up and it vanished. He slammed a pincer onto the Professor's desk. "Now what's wrong with that? The date has passed and I can and have acted freely again! I distinctly remember the girls were counted as being five years of age when they came into this world. Their first year of life began at age five. Add thirteen to each and you have their fourteenth at age eighteen!"
Professor looked up at Him, no trace of fear in his eyes. "September sixth is the day I found the answer. September sixth is the day the girls were born in my mind. September sixth is when I decided to celibate their birthday, because when they asked me about birthdays I didn't want them to wait two more weeks to enjoy one. Because of that I let everyone believe I kept the girls hidden for almost three weeks until I straightened things out, but it was really less than one. September twentieth is the day they were created. On September twentieth, A.D. 2015, they will begin the first day of their fourteenth year of life."
Him sneered. He fumed. Raged. Professor could feel the seething anger. He tried to remind himself that he was safe, and with some effort his smile held firm.
"The funny part? When I signed that just after the girls' eighth birthday, I didn't give it another thought other than to do in my mind the same bit of math you just did to make sure the wording you offered fit.
"But I've had ten years to think about it. I never dared hope it would turn to my advantage, but there you have it. Since Sunday you could have tormented them however you wanted. Strung them up to be ravaged by demons, if you wanted. You had another," Professor paused to check the time. It was indeed just after midnight. He continued, "eight days or so before you could lay a finger on me. And now, if I'm not mistaken, you can't touch any of us. Not even indirectly, at this point. Ever."
Him drew his lip up in a sneer, revealing rows of sharp teeth. "Perhaps, but you will die someday, dear Professor. And while I may not harass you until that day comes, neither have I violated the contract. I cannot. I've merely triggered another clause, and I assure you that your soul shall remain mine. And I can promise you, dear Professor, that I shall repay you double for this during your first hour in my possession. Your eternal torment shall be beyond your mortal mind's comprehension. You might gloat this day, but I assure you, a mortal's life is all-too-brief."
And with that, Him was gone. Simply vanished in the blink of an eye. Professor was alone; was safe. He, his girls, and his current work.
Only now did he dare turn to his monitor and see if his long-ignored suspicions had proved meaningful.
"Was it worth it?" he wondered briefly, thinking to himself.
Yes. Yes, it most certainly had been worth it. He looked to the last ten years of his daughter's lives. Thought about the harm Him had caused last night alone.
Professor Utonium did not doubt he would pay for what he'd bought them, and knew, like Kevin's arranged "accident," he could never tell the girls just what had been given for sake of their happiness.