Chapter 11: The Second Trumpet

I told you I would be here for you, the power tells her. I can save you, but there must be a trade. Who are you? Sabere asks sleepily. I am -

When her alarm went off in the midst of murky nightmares and dreams of fire, she felt mixed relief and foreboding. She wouldn't have to try to sleep anymore – but immediately she remembered what she had done the night before and felt like throwing herself back on the sword of her nightmares. That would at least be better than trying to avoid both Kurt and Logan. Never mind the questions the others would ask…She dressed quickly and hoped the kitchen was empty. She would not be able to avoid an encounter with Xavier or Jean, but if she could get her thoughts together over breakfast those encounters would be much easier.

Unfortunately Scott and Jean were both in the kitchen when she arrived. Sabere took a random bagel and desperately hoped neither of them would mention anything. She waited in horribly uncomfortable silence as she spread cream cheese over the bagel. Maybe I can get back to my room and not have to stay here…

"Hey, you're allowed to sit here, you know." Scott had one eyebrow raised and seemed amused with her attempts to avoid them. Jean looked equally amused – which was sickeningly relieving. Maybe she didn't know anything. Sabere sat down across from them, still trying to hide her anxiety.

"No coffee?" Scott asked in mock surprise.

"What? Oh – no, not this morning." Sabere didn't want to think about what coffee would do to her already nauseated stomach. She kept waiting for them to say something about last night – she's a telepath, she's in my brain often enough anyway, she had to have noticed something –

Kurt teleported into the kitchen, image inducer on. They locked eyes for less than a second, or years. As usual, Kurt's "human" eyes were far more easily read than his real ones – and these carried a deep and unalterable pain. She stared back, half hoping for forgiveness and half wishing he would leave. Kurt lowered his eyes and teleported out.

Scott and Jean both looked back at her. "What was that?"

Sabere shook her head. "It's nothing, I…"

Scott leaned forward, as if angling his head for a better shot from under his sunglasses. "What happened?"

Of course, Logan chose that moment to come in for breakfast. He already had a bottle of Dr. Pepper from somewhere, and saw her in mid-swig. The bottle froze in the air.

-----

Jean knew when Sabere walked in that something was wrong, and it had nothing to do with her visions. The younger woman was too tense and too quiet, and a gentle probe picked up swirling emotional pain, and Kurt. When Logan walked in, she opened her mind a bit more and all the pieces came together.

"Oh." Scott leaned back again, arms folded. Jean tried to process everything she – they – were feeling. Scott was partly enraged that Logan would have the balls to go after yet another woman in a relationship, but quite relieved that his attention appeared to have been diverted from Jean. Sabere was close to despair, very confused, but she left the room with as much poise as she could manage. Logan himself was a tumult of embarrassment, because he knew he shouldn't have been messing with Sabere in the first place and also because he knew, like she did, that his feelings for Jean still ran unalterably deep. And Jean was surprised to find in herself no small amount of jealousy.

Logan held up both hands, one clenched too tight around the bottle. "It was just a kiss," he told them, and Jean knew it was the truth.

Scott shook his head and launched into a lecture, but Jean sent a probe out for Kurt. As usually happened when he was 'porting frequently, she had trouble finding him, but at last located him at rest out in the grounds. He was a wreck, full of the expected raw frustration and grief. It may have been just a kiss, but to Kurt, who'd never really had the privilege of trust, it was just an affirmation of everything he feared in the world. But as she explored further, she found a small but growing feeling that he was overreacting, that it had just been a simple and rectifiable mistake.

/That is my doing,/ Xavier told her. /Neither of them have the courage to approach each other about it, so I think they're both going to need some help./

/Looks like you have it under control, then,/ she replied.

/You might want to see to your own feelings,/ he cautioned as an answer. Jean sent him the mental equivalent of an acknowledging nod and broke the connection. Logan looked like he was about to shred Scott, so Jean stood up to mediate.

"Boys, please – Logan, you'll work this out, right?" It wasn't a question, it was an order, and fortunately Logan took the hint and left.

Scott raised an eyebrow at Jean, and she could sense the multitude of questions that went with it. She shook her head and sighed. "We have enough to deal with already…"

/Jean, I've scheduled a Danger Room session at ten and have told Hank, Logan, and you. Spread the word./

/Is this part of your plan?/ she asked uncertainly. She got a sly astral smile in return.

-----

Sabere took a cursory glance through Kurt's usual haunts, but as she expected, he was nowhere to be found.

/Glad to see you're at least looking,/ Xavier broke in.

She couldn't contain a flash of anger. /Professor, please, not right now - /

/You know what you've done and you know you need to fix it. Why the hesitation?/

/Because - / She tried to find the words to formulate it, but instead shoved everything she was feeling at Xavier. /I'm trying to figure it out./

/It, or him? Or should I say, them?/

/Leave me alone!/ To her surprise, Xavier obeyed. By the time she reached her own door, she was completely alone in her mind. She leaned against the doorframe, feeling utterly defeated. Xavier was right, she couldn't hide from the matter forever; but she was far from ready to talk to anyone about the issue. All she wanted was to rewind the night – she knew now, she could see herself easily saying good-night to Logan and seeking comfort in Kurt's arms instead. He had been right there…Why hadn't he said anything? He was right there watching the whole damn thing…

That wasn't his fault, her conscience scolded.

I know, I know, she thought. I just wish the whole thing had never happened…

"Hey." Logan head was barely visible over the top of the stairs. Her vision shook with fury. She clenched her fists and turned back to her room, determined to ignore him.

"Wait, for God's sake, just a minute – Danger Room at ten. Xavier wanted me to tell you."

Sabere squeezed her eyes shut and resisted the urge to hurt him. "Fine."

She waited for his footsteps to leave, but he didn't move. "Look, I…I'm sorry," he said finally. Sabere didn't answer.

His footsteps bumped down the stairs and Sabere unclenched her fists, feeling anger drain away. If Wolverine can humble himself like that, I have no excuse, she thought sadly, flopping on her bed in a sea of grim lonesomeness. Dull resolve filled her – she would talk to Kurt after the Danger Room session. She refused to acknowledge the sickening fact that he had no reason at all to forgive her. Yet somewhere in her heart, she realized she was already bracing herself for that possibility.

-----

At ten o'clock that morning she was suited up and waiting in uncomfortable silence for the rest of the X-Men to arrive. The kids, probably hoping to make a good impression, were already waiting in uniform – Bobby sprawled on the floor with Rogue sitting more demurely next to him, Kitty and Peter joking about something in the middle of the room. Soon Xavier rolled through the doorway with the rest of the X-Men behind him. Sabere deliberately avoided the gazes of everyone but Storm. Xavier positioned himself so everyone could see him and described the morning's exercise.

"We're going back to basics today," he announced. "You will need to recover an artifact from a heavily guarded room, then make it safely outside before the other team. Of course, there will be surprises, but it isn't anything you can't handle."

"He hopes," grumbled Rogue. Xavier ignored her. "We've decided you should take a break from training against Apocalypse and keep your skills up in situations you're familiar with. The teams will be as follows: Jean, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, and Sabere."

Of course, she thought unhappily, trying to keep dismay off her face. "…Storm, and Scott. Good luck to all of you." Xavier left the room and the teams split up. Sabere found herself next to Kurt, but he wouldn't even look at her. The fact that he was back to his usual blue self made her feel even worse.

The room darkened. She felt Jean grab her arm. Almost instantly Sabere felt all Jean's anger in her mind. /Have you even noticed you've broken his heart?/

/Of course I have!/ she flared back. /And I'll fix it, just…not now./

/Dammit, yes, now, before your little argument splits up the whole team. There's more at stake here than two hearts. We can't have you two fighting and not watching each other's backs./

/We can handle it!/

/You'd better./ Jean released her arm and Sabere stood shamed in the dark. The lights returned, revealing wide metal corridors with small white lights marking a path in the floor. Their target lay along its trail.

"Clock's running," Logan warned. "Let's move. Tin Man, you first."

Colossus jogged forward first, skin coating itself with steel as he ran, and almost immediately drawing the attention of two guns mounted on the ceiling. As he dove back for cover Sabere stepped forward, shielding them as she walked. But the shields seemed to draw attention from somewhere else – guns in the walls. Panels slid open on either side of her, revealing tasers. She tried to compensate her shields but the tasers got through, stinging her arms and delivering a nasty shock that sent her to her knees, barely conscious.

Quite suddenly she was somewhere else – down the hall, staring back at the remnants of the tasers. Kurt's arms released her and the others ran forward.

"Come on, keep up!" Sabere shook herself and ran after them. The lights led them into a massive chamber, ringed around with a balcony twenty feet high. The other end of the room was walled with a semicircle of plain steel cell doors. She stopped in surprise. It was an exact replica of Stryker's ocean base – the one in which Kurt had nearly been killed. Xavier had planned this entire session. Bastard.

Machine guns mounted on the balconies sighted on them, returning Sabere to the present with their vicious firing. She dove out of the way, throwing a knife towards one and missing. Across the room Colossus leaped smoothly up onto the balcony, aiming one of the guns at another and eliminating it. Unfortunately a third gun fired on him, knocking him to the ground. His metal skin faded and he lay unconscious.

"Dammit, Xavier, you're going to get everyone killed," she hissed, huddling against the wall. At least a dozen guns were firing down at them, and the only safe place was – in the cells. Perfect.

"You think this room is 'heavily guarded' enough for his little 'artifact' to be in here?" she shouted to whoever was listening.

Across the room, Kurt vanished and reappeared in one of the cells. Almost immediately a massive explosion threw him out the door – there were mines in the floor. He skidded to a stop in the middle of the floor, defenseless, and instantly the guns swiveled around to target him. Sabere flung out her hand and cast a shield over him, grimacing at the impact of hundreds of bullets. She added more to the shield, but another mine in a cell went off, and her concentration broke – Kurt's shield held, but her weak protections failed and her body was thrown against the wall under the impact of the machine guns –

Suddenly – bamf – the cells were gone, and Sabere was back in the original hallway, watching the rest of her team sprinting for the exit, Wolverine carrying a small metal box that must have been the artifact. She fell backward, in too much pain to sit up any longer. As they approached, the scenario disappeared and Sabere's gasp of pain resonated throughout the Danger Room. Xavier's voice floated mockingly down from above. "Only one casualty this time, and remarkably, Sabere, it was not you, although I'm sure you wish it was."

Sabere couldn't even respond to Xavier's mockery; she lay flat on her back on the cold floor, waiting for the stinging pain in every bone to just go away. "Wolverine successfully retrieved the item, and his team made it out of the building first, although Colossus, unfortunately, was killed and Sabere will probably die of injuries later today."

Finally Sabere lifted her head a little. "Are you done yet?"

"Yes, I think so. Well done, X-Men." They slowly dispersed, but Sabere still felt Xavier's astral grin in her mind – he was enjoying rubbing it in, torturing her…

She remembered her promise from earlier – talk to Kurt after the session. Of course, she hadn't counted on not being able to walk, but they had each saved the other's life…

Groaning, she pushed herself to her knees and made her way slowly out of the Danger Room. The others were climbing out of uniform, some complaining quietly about sore muscles, and filing out of the underground hallways. A hand pushed gently at the small of her back. Logan jerked his head in Kurt's direction, his meaning clear – get it over with. Sabere sighed and walked silently down the hallway. Kurt was wearing the image inducer again; his black hair hung shimmering around his shoulders. She couldn't see his eyes and wasn't sure she wanted to – she was apologizing to a stranger, someone she knew she loved but now looked and acted completely different.

"Kurt?" she asked quietly, her heart racing. He's not going to forgive you – just leave, don't say anything, save yourself the trouble –

Kurt whirled around, startled. Plain, human brown eyes washed her away with thousands of emotions that she ordinarily couldn't have seen – fear, anger, heartbreak, hope, uncertainty – everything she was feeling. She opened her mouth, but Kurt 'ported away.

"Dammit, Kurt!" she shouted at the ceiling, fists clenched. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Of course he wasn't there to hear her. "There, I said it, I'm sorry!" No answer.

"He'll come around."

She whirled on Logan, who stood uneasily in the doorway. "Get the hell out!" He was gone by the time the words were out of her mouth. Fuming and broken, she stripped off her uniform and left the mansion. I approached him. I made a mistake and I tried to apologize and now he won't listen to me.

/Do you really think the two of you will remain separated for long?/ Xavier asked. /He knows now you've tried to come apologize, and after three years I doubt a little incident like this will last long./

/We're both being ridiculous about this, aren't we,/ Sabere thought glumly. ­/Acting like high schoolers. I'm afraid to talk to him and he must be the same./

/You do recognize what you've done to him, don't you? He may have walked in on you at the wrong times, but you did little to dispel his fears./

/If I could just talk to him, I could tell him how horrible I feel…you know, you're in here…/ Emotions were easier to read than words telepathically, and in a way that was how they communicated. She felt Xavier's understanding at last.

/I know the weather is miserable, but since you're aiming for the lake, perhaps in a few minutes Kurt will have a strange urge to get out of the building for some air, and perhaps he'll run into you./

She didn't need to express her thanks, and set out under the low, cold clouds for the lake.

-----

Misty rain fell around Sabere as she sat under an umbrella, watching the slate-gray lake. Kurt had not come. Had Xavier's hint failed? Had Xavier even done anything? Was Kurt approaching right now? Instinctively she looked around. The trees around the lake were motionless, and the mansion sat dark and silent up the hill.

Then the world turned red and Sabere collapsed on the wet grass, overwhelmed with fear. Images flashed in her mind – buildings collapsing, red eyes, screaming –

As suddenly as the vision had hit her, it was gone, and she pushed herself shakily off the ground, numb and horrified. Paris. That was Paris. Apocalypse is in Paris.

Her mind screamed for Xavier as she sprinted, slipping, up the path to the mansion.