Chapter 12: The Fight We Cannot Win
Logan watched as Sabere, drenched with rain, dashed past him down the hall into Xavier's office. He followed quickly behind, barely noticing as Jean came down the stairs on his heels.
"Apocalypse will be in Paris tomorrow night," Sabere gasped, out of breath. Logan glanced between them all, waiting for a response. Xavier heaved a deep sigh and nodded. "Do you know when?"
"Very late. Almost midnight."
He nodded again. "We'll have to leave the students alone – they should be fine under the security system. We will leave early tomorrow morning; that should give us a couple hours to get situated before he arrives."
Hell no. "Charley, we're not seriously gonna go in and try to head him off?"
"What else are we supposed to do?"
"What if he's going to bomb the place?"
"He's not," Sabere broke in shakily, supporting herself on the desk. "He's expanding his empire." She stumbled suddenly and Logan reached out to steady her. "You need to rest," he said gently. She pulled her arm away and promptly fell to the floor. Logan sighed and scooped her up in his arms, knowing she'd hate him for it later.
"I'll make sure no one sees you who shouldn't," Xavier said quietly. "But she needs rest, especially before this…"
"Thanks, Charley." He slipped out of the office, up the stairs, and ran directly into Kurt in the hall outside her room. Damn.
"What happened to her?" he asked instantly. Well, that's a relief. Kurt started to brush her hair out of her face, but Sabere stirred and muttered something and he pulled away.
"Another vision, and a long day. Apocalypse is headed for Paris, and we're meeting him tomorrow night, their time. She needs some rest." Kurt jerked back, glaring up through thick blue hair at him. Logan shook his head, realizing how possessive he sounded.
"She's sorry. She tried to tell you."
He nodded and looked away, almost disappearing against the shadows of the hall. "I know." Bamf – Sabere jerked in his arms as he teleported away, and Logan regretfully pushed her door open. Maybe things weren't as messed-up as he thought they were – or maybe they were beyond hope.
Sabere murmured something as he lay her down on her bed, and Logan thought he saw streaks of tears on her cheeks again. He reached out a thumb to brush them away, and her head lolled to the side. He smiled a little and left the room.
-----
Exhaustion from endless visions and constant training should be enough to give her a dreamless sleep, but even tonight, when she is drained past consciousness, the dreams of the accident come.
But tonight the lights are different. The lights are Apocalypse – her conscious mind knows it even if her dreaming self doesn't realize it.
"You still want him," comes a whisper.
The ambulance and the blood and the noise vanish, leaving only Andy. He stands and embraces her as if that nightmare, that crash, had never happened. Sami is thrilled. Everything is finally, beautifully, overwhelming normal – no more fear, no more secrecy, no more despair.
Until she sees Kurt out of the corner of her eye. Until part of her insists that Sami is gone and Sabere is who she is now. Until she realizes that she can't go back, and nothing can change, and the definition of "normal" has changed.
"It can change back," Andy whispers. "It can change to how you used to be, how we used to be – but I need your help first."
Anything! But this is the past – this is just a dream – "How can anything change?" she cries, wishing she could wake up. "You're dead, and I can't go back."
"Andy is dead, but I – " Andy pulls away, changing, growing, his eyes becoming penetrating scarlet lights – "am very much alive."
Sabere stares at the figure before her – a man, but so much more and worse than a man – huge, tall and heavily muscled, with those furious eyes and gray and blue skin, the skin of the dead, of an alien, of a monster –
Fear strangles her. She tries to run, to wake up, to hide, but she can't escape it –
Help –
-----
Xavier opened his eyes, pulled from his dreams by a terrified call. But from who? He opened his mind, following the cry's echo – and saw that dreaded face in Sabere's nightmare.
/Sabere, fight him! Don't give in to him!/
-----
Xavier's call gives her an anchor, but the creature before her is far stronger.
"You will help me!"
A cold, cold hand clasps around her mind, pulls at her powers, ripping her apart. She threw all of her strength and self into the fight, resisting the cold, but she was weakening – Xavier's strengthening shout faded quickly –
He gets stronger –
Xavier's shouts are far away –
Her strength fades and is slowly replaced by pain, until –
Sabere and Xavier lie in the dark, both broken and helpless. The fearsome figure stands menacingly immovable over them. He can kill them both – he wouldn't even have to think about it – they are ants lying in his path that he can, and will, destroy. But now, he just stands, grinning a horrible death-skull grin, mocking them.
"You could not have won. I am Apocalypse, and with your help, I have risen again."
-----
Sabere nearly knocked Xavier out of his wheelchair as she lunged screaming from the bed. She hugged herself and fell against the wall, weeping hysterically. Xavier didn't blame her at all – he was close to tears himself.
"What more does he want from me?!" she shrieked. "He's already back from the dead! I've already helped him once!"
"I don't know – I don't know." Xavier was surprised at his own desolation. Apocalypse could have killed them there, far easily than either he or Hank had expected – with his mind, from an enormous distance – and he could access and drain their powers for his own strength –
It was clear that was what he had done to her. For some reason Apocalypse had still been too weak…and he had been too weak for quite some time…
The facts clicked into place, and Xavier felt sick. What he now knew was horrible…
"Professor?" Scott asked. Xavier realized he was holding his head in his hands. His crushing realization had so overwhelmed him that he hadn't noticed the crowd that had gathered – the X-Men in her room, and masses of students looking anxiously in from the doorway. He looked out at the children, not really seeing them, wondering distantly what would become of them when the X-Men were gone…
"Students…back to bed, please."
"But what happened?" called a voice from the back.
"Go." No one argued with Jean, especially on a late night. The hall silently emptied. Jean lifted a hand and the door swung quietly closed.
Sabere's sobs finally reduced to quiet gasps. Her shaking hands clutched handfuls of her blanket, which seemed to be her only anchor to the real world. Xavier sensed another source of pain – Kurt had not come to comfort her. Jean, going into doctor mode, crouched determinedly in front of her and gently raised her chin to check on her. "Again, what happened in here?"
"He was in my mind," Sabere gasped, eyes unfocused. "He…he stole my powers again…and he said he's risen again…dammit, he already did rise, that's why I'm going crazy, that's why he's here, that's why we're fighting – "
Jean pressed her hand against Sabere's forehead. The younger woman immediately slumped against her, unconscious. Jean leaned her back gently against the wall and said, "Her mind is more fragile than we thought. Apocalypse has been hammering at it for weeks, and Professor, you know why."
He looked up, surprised at this direct confrontation, especially coming from Jean. He looked sorrowfully over at Hank – Hank, who would be most betrayed by their lack of action.
"We made a crucial mistake," he said softly. "Storm…you were right." Storm stepped further into the room, tense and curious.
Xavier sighed and continued. "Apocalypse sat and waited – we know this. We thought he was planning something, or gathering allies before he set out. But…it turns out he was too weak to do anything even if we had attacked him." The others stared at him, some beginning to realize what he was leading to. "He's been storing up his strength, researching his opponents, and…sapping strength from Sabere using her own powers, all the while completely defenseless." He didn't bother to hide the bitterness in his voice – they had all made a mistake, and it was his fault. "We missed our opportunity to strike and destroy him before he got worse. Now that he's been in Sabere's mind, using her, and he's strong enough to move…I don't think there's any stopping him."
Lightning crackled around Storm's fingertips. She was furious, and rightfully so. "Didn't I tell you? Didn't I say he was weakest now, that we had to strike before he – "
"I know! I should have listened! But we – "
"But what? How do we stop him now? He's been in her mind, he knows her secrets – "
"Storm, the students – "
"No, Jean – "
"Shut up." The words came whispered, weakly, from Sabere. She was awake again, still crying, but very calm. Whatever Jean did to her appeared to have worked. Sabere's fingers clawed the wall as she pulled herself unsteadily to her feet.
"We made a mistake. Okay?" She was hoarse and sounded exhausted. "The biggest mistake we can make now…is to turn against each other. The fault for this doesn't lie with anyone…but Apocalypse. He's…the one we have to focus on…" She slipped against the wall – her momentary passion was fading fast. But it was just what they needed – Sabere's rallying determination.
"He knows us…he knows our strengths and weaknesses…physical and emotional…he can't manipulate us…he's…" She wavered and had to sit back down. "Don't give him any more ways to defeat us than he already has." She passed out completely.
Jean levitated her carefully back onto the bed. Storm clenched her fists, exhaled her frustration in one sigh, and looking back over at Xavier. Her blue eyes were devoid of hope, an expression he knew he must be mirroring.
"Professor," she said quietly. "We cannot win this fight anymore."
It was the final blow. If they had had any hope before…it was gone. They had all known about their fate, or suspected it…but here was the confirmation, from the one who had been right about Apocalypse all along.
"No, we cannot." Xavier couldn't meet anyone's eyes. "But…we also cannot sit and let it happen. We will try…and we will fail…because we are the X-Men and we will die for the people we protect."