So just to warn you - I'm not going to continue any further with the phone sex - I'm sure that you can let your imaginations run riot with that one. Anthing that I wrote would probably be only a disappointment. LOL

And thanks also to the reviewers that are sticking with me. Someone pointed out that 400 reviews is a bit of a milestone on here so I'd just like to give you all a pat on the back. Thanks!

Enjoy!

The Letdown

Friday came and Ryan was working like a mad man. Annabel wondered what had gotten in to him. He was like a man possessed. Little did she know that he was possessed … by visions of Marissa waiting in bed for him at Newport. Ever since their 'conversation' last night, he had been focused on getting everything done as soon as possible so he could get out of there and down to Newport. Marissa had suggested she would see if Sandy and Kirsten would baby sit for them that evening so they could have some 'alone' time and he wanted to get there as soon as possible. He didn't want to miss out on a single minute of it. What they did last night was …well, pretty amazing really. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of it … but it didn't hold a candle to the real thing.

---

It was 4:30pm by the time he got to Newport. He'd managed to get away early enough to miss most of the weekend traffic and now all he could think about was spending a little time with Emily followed by a lot of time with Marissa. He knew he was smiling like a Cheshire cat but it was, or rather SHE was all he had been able to think about since he had left work. If truth be told it had been in the back of his mind ever since their first 'interruption' on Wednesday morning. He couldn't believe that he was in such a state just because he hadn't HAD Marissa for 3 days. How did he ever manage to last 7 years without her?

He got out of the car as quickly as possible and as he walked inside he was attacked around the legs by a blonde dynamo. "Wyan." Emily said as he bent down and lifted her high into the air. She giggled as he spun her around.

"Hello Missy. How's my girl?" he asked while looking beyond her for Marissa.

"I'm good." Emily replied. "I'm watching Shrek. You can come and watch with me if you want?"

"Maybe a little later. Where's Marissa?" he asked thinking it strange that she hadn't come to greet him.

"Mawissa isn't feeling berry well." She said sadly.

Ryan quickly moved through the house. "Where is she?" he asked.

"She's having a lie down." Emily informed him.

"You go back and finish watching Shrek and I'll go and check on Marissa. Okay?" he suggested.

"Okay." His pint-sized princess replied.

Ryan quickly made his way to the bedroom to find Marissa lying on the bed, her face pale. She was curled up in a foetal position and looked absolutely miserable. He quickly moved to her and felt her forehead wondering if she had a fever. "Ris. What's wrong?" he asked.

Marissa went to open her mouth and then stopped. She couldn't bring herself to say the words. The words that she knew would break his heart. "I ... I …" she hesitated again. She just couldn't bring herself to say it.

Ryan's heart was racing. He couldn't believe how much it hurt him to watch her when she was obviously in pain. He watched as the tears began to form in her eyes. "Marissa. Tell me. What can I do?" he was starting to panic. "I'll get the doctor."

Marissa shook her head. She tried to wipe away the tears before they fell but they were instantly replaced by more. "No need." By now Ryan was sitting on the side of the bed gently rubbing her back. She knew that the pain she was feeling was as much emotional as it was physical. Maybe more. "It's just …"

"Ris. Just what?" Ryan pleaded with her. He felt so helpless. But what could he do if she wouldn't talk to him.

"There's no baby." She said and broke down into a thousand tears; her sobs coming from deep within her.

Ryan picked her up and held her to him; his disappointment hitting him like a brick wall. But he knew this wasn't the time to be thinking about himself. He pressed her tightly to him and stroked her hair.

"I've got terrible cramps and my period has started." She sobbed.

Ryan swallowed deeply trying to suppress his own disappointment. He could deal with that later. "It's okay." He said. "We don't have to be in any hurry." He tried to reassure her, even though he felt just as bad as she did. "It's not as if we have actually been trying."

"But I … you … We …" Marissa started and then broke down into sobs again. The shoulder of his business shirt wet already.

"We?" Ryan queried.

"We … wanted it." Marissa finished.

Ryan smiled as he pulled back and looked into her eyes. He cupped her face with his hands and smoothed her tears away with his thumbs. "And this from the girl who a week ago …" he hesitated "was … what was it … ah yeah … I think it was … the thought of having a baby scared the bejesus out of her?"

Marissa nodded. "I changed my mind. You have that affect on me." she said, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly.

"Well. I'm more than happy to start trying again. We could throw those birth control pills in the trash and then I think our chances would be a lot better." He assured her. "Plus personally, I rather enjoy the trying. The more the better."

Marissa looked at him and smiled. She knew he was disappointed; just as she was and yet he was trying to look at it in a positive way. She was sure it was just to make her feel better. "Well we've go no chance for the next couple of days. And even after that how do you expect us to actually do it? From recent experiences, it would seem to be impossible to actually complete the deed. Unless of course there is some way that what we did last night could work?"

Ryan frowned as he realised the truth of her words. "We really are going to have to work something out, aren't we?"

"Uh huh" Marissa said as she grimaced in pain.

Ryan was concerned. "What can I do for you? There must be something."

"I've got some tablets that will help. But they make me a bit drowsy and I didn't want to take them until you arrived to look after Emily." Marissa replied.

"Well I'm here now so where are they and I'll get them for you." He said.

"In my bag in the bathroom." She replied.

Ryan went and then returned; tablets in hand and with a glass of water. "Why didn't you get Kirsten to come over?"

"Turns out they had some charity dinner on. I guess tonight just wasn't meant to happen for us at all." She replied sadly.

---

Of course, Friday night Emily slept straight through and even slept-in. Ryan and Marissa couldn't believe that her timing seemed to have been designed to cause them the most … discomfit. Emily had managed to give them plenty of uninterrupted time, just when it was 'unsuitable' for them to do what they most desired. Marissa had offered to 'look after' Ryan but he had declined telling her that he would wait until they could both enjoy the experience together. They just both hoped that 'the event' wasn't too far away. Strange to realise that until Emily had arrived they had never felt like they were planning for 'an event'. It had always just been spontaneous. But now … things were different … in ways they had never imagined. They had predicted that they would have to make the most of their opportunities. What they hadn't realised was that the opportunities would come at the most inopportune times. And they certainly hadn't been prepared for the 'interruptions'. That was an agony that nothing had prepared them for.

Saturday, they all spent a lovely day together. After sitting and watching cartoons in the morning, they visited the playground and then after lunch they went for a long walk on the beach. The only problem seemed to be that Emily insisted on walking between Ryan and Marissa so she could hold both their hands when in all truthfulness they both wanted to be able to touch one another. The knowledge that the child that they had both been looking forward to was not going to happen in the near future was still foremost in their minds. They hadn't spoken about it that day but it was as if every touch was their way of recognising the sadness they each felt.

If anyone had been watching this 'family' walking along the beach they would have thought they were doing some kind of impromptu dance as they weaved along the shore. Whenever Emily let go of Ryan or Marissa's hand to pick up a shell or investigate something on the ocean's edge then the unattached person would move to the other side of the group, so that Ryan and Marissa could hold one another. Only to have Emily push back in between them again as soon as she had lost interest in her discovery. When they had returned back to the beach directly in front of Ryan's house, Emily talked Ryan into building her a sand castle and Marissa sat and watched as the two laughed and played, sand flying as Ryan constructed the sand castle of all sand castles. No simple mound of sand for this architect. It was a work of art. All Marissa could think was that Sandy would have been envious if he could have seen it. It was a shame to think that the tide would wash it all away.

They were putting the finishing touches to it when Marissa heard her phone ringing. She dug around in the large beach bag that she had brought with her which was filled with all the necessary things you seemed to have to carry when you moved around with a small child. Sunscreen, hats, a change of clothes, beach towel, juice box, fruit stick; all were pushed aside as she looked for the phone trying to find it before her voicemail cut in. As she laid her hand on it she flicked it open in one motion, pulling it to her ear expecting to hear Summer's complaints about how long it had taken her to answer when all she heard was. "Marissa?"

Marissa felt the blood run from her face as she quickly closed the phone. Why were they calling? There was no way that she would talk to them. She sat gripping the phone as Ryan turned to her. "Who was it?"

"Um … wrong number." Marissa replied. She didn't know why she lied. But she couldn't tell him. They were so happy together (well except for a little sexual frustration). She didn't want to put everything at risk. No. She refused to put it all at risk. It would just have to be her secret.

Ryan looked at her more closely, noticing the pale face. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Actually, I'm not feeling great. I might just go and have a lie down for a while." Marissa added.

"Okay. We'll come with you." Ryan replied as he started to brush the sand off his hands and stand up.

"No. You stay here with Emily. I'll be fine. You just stay and have fun." Marissa said as she stood up and slowly made her way back to the house; her mind in turmoil as she contemplated what the phone call could possibly mean.

---

Ryan had suggested to Marissa that Keith stay in the pool house until things quietened down a little. That way he would always be near if she needed him and Ryan knew that he would feel a little easier at work if he knew that Keith was always close. The only problem was that Ryan hadn't ever let Marissa in to the pool house and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. He was concerned about what she would make of it. But he knew that he needed to get inside and move some things out before Keith arrived so now, while Marissa was lying down was the perfect opportunity.

---

Shortly after Marissa had left the beach to lie down, Ryan collected Emily and they made their way back to the house. After cleaning the sand off her, he settled Emily in front of the TV with a juice, got the key from his study and made his way in to the pool house. He opened the door and stood there for a moment letting the memories flood over him. Inside, it was an exact replica of the Cohen's pool house. No one but him had ever been in there before. He had always maintained that it wasn't finished or that he'd misplaced the key.

The truth was that it was a shrine to Marissa; to their time together.

Over the last couple of years, when he was feeling at his lowest ebb he would come in here and lie down on the bed, knowing that some how he managed to keep thoughts of Marissa near him whenever he was in there. He looked around at all the photos that adorned the place and he grabbed a basket to collect them. There were photos of the fantastic four, just the two of them and then some just of Marissa. They were his favourites. He didn't think that Keith would need those reminders of who he was working for. He collected them and as he was putting the last couple in the basket he felt the hairs on his neck stand up and he knew that he wasn't alone. He stood still waiting to hear a noise hoping that it was Emily but when not a thing was said, he knew that it was Marissa. He turned to look at her as she stared around the room obviously stunned.

Ryan moved towards her trying to laugh it all away, scared about what she may have been thinking. "By the time I got to the pool house I'd run out of ideas so I just used one I knew." He suggested.

Marissa looked at him. "But it's our pool house." She said softly. Almost as if she was in a church and she had to speak reverently.

Ryan nodded. At least she didn't seem freaked out by it. "I know. I guess the truth is I wasn't prepared to leave it behind. It held too many memories."

Marissa looked at him and then softly asked. "Was I part of those memories?"

Ryan picked up the basket on the floor that he had been about to hide and held it out to her. Marissa looked at the framed photos and she understood. As she moved the photos to look at each one in turn, the memories of the times when they were taken flooded over her and she felt the tears come to her eyes. She looked at Ryan through her blurred vision and she realised that he had been just as devastated by their 'break up' as she had; maybe more. How could she blame him for what happened with Charlotte? He coped as best he could. Just as she had. But there was one thing she knew for sure.

She would never forgive her mother.