Chapter 5 Gibbs and you
I'm awake but I'm still too tired to open my eyes. That bottle of whiskey has kept me warm all night. Wait…what time is it? I force myself to open my eyes and check my watch. Five a.m. What the hell happened last night? I search my memory as I close my eyes again, allowing myself to drift back into a half sleep. There's ages until I have to get ready for work.
The pain in my arm helps me remember the hospital, then there's a black area in my memory. I do recall inviting Gibbs in, offering him whiskey and downing half the bottle. I wriggle around because I'm hot. Where am I? I ask my limbs and flick my eyes open.
I'm on the couch they tell me. What am I doing in the lounge? I look up at the side table and see the bottle standing there proudly containing only a few drops of whiskey. I blink to try and clear my thoughts but it's still a haze. My neck hurts from how I was sleeping, caused by trying to save myself the pain by sleeping on my arm I suppose. I look down at the bandages.
My heart freezes and I stop breathing as my eyes adjust to the dim lighting and I see the arm draped over my waist. An arm. On me. I recognize that arm, Id recognize it anywhere. No doubt that arm is connected to its owner… who is lying behind me, pressed up against me and probably choking on my hair.
Swallowing hard I do my best to keep silent. I can't wake him up because I need time to process. I mentally slap myself for not noticing earlier, or letting myself get into this situation in the first place. I stare at the coffee table. Pizza crusts lay in the empty boxes, I hate the crust… no cheese.
What! I'm thinking about pizza at a time like this! Why aren't I stressing more? Did I even do anything with him… did he do anything with me?
Okay, okay… I have to think. What do I do?
I clamp my mouth shut as he pulls me close by wrapping his arm tightly around my waist. I cringe for him because I can't see him doing that to me willingly when he was awake; I have to think of a way to get out of this. What I fear most is his reaction when he wakes up. Disgust will kill me, regret is logical, no regret? I don't know.
Maybe I could just fall back to sleep and let him deal with the whole waking up first issue. It's actually kind of comfortable here. Under his arm. Under his strong, warm, muscular arm. Hmm, maybe this isn't so bad. I could get used to this. Yes, I think I've made my decision… leave the decisions up to him.
So I close my eyes and let the corners of my mouth creep upwards in a mischievous, sinful kind of way. And just to test my luck, I nestle further into his body, his firm chest behind me. As if in a reflex response his arm snakes all the way around my waist so that I'm tight up against him, his breath sending chills down my spine. At first my eyes snap open as he pulls me in but I remind myself who he is and where I am and they slide back into place. I lie there, eyes shut but still awake until my brain cannot stay awake any longer and I glide back to my dreams.