Mexico
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: see chapter 1
I want to thank a lot of people, first of all my marvellous beta-reader, Carol, who helped with a lot of suggestions and with patience found all my mistakes. Then the people who left a review, all of them, you really warmed my heart. And last but not least, my friends at LJ and DC forum.
Thanks again, here is chapter 2.
Enough driving for a lifetime, he thought, closing the door of the truck with a loud bang.
Evening and Ennis was tired no breaks, eating a sandwich with the right hand and keeping the left on the wheel, stopping only for fuel and a short piss, praying God in Heaven to let his old truck live until Mexico.
The daytime weather was dry he bought six bottles of water and placed them one at a time on the passenger seat, taking frequent sips He kept open the large road map with a big red arrow scratched on it pointing to the final destination.
At sunset he crossed the border completely unnoticed, nobody paid attention to him. He felt alone. Nobody paid any more attention to him than years ago when Ma & Pa died in that accident and his other relatives dumped him.
He was really alone without Jack and would be so from now on, if he didn't start the search soon.
Ennis did not bother to make a plan during the trip, thought to rely on his instincts only, but now there was a long street full of open bars and he had no idea how to start. "Where" was easier, just open the first door on the right side, then the second, and so on until the end of the road, then turn and start with the left side.
But maybe those special places were not so visible, Ennis realisedand stopped near the post office; he parked the truck and lit a cigarette.
And these Mexicans seemed to be tall and big men, not the typical image of the poor tiny farmer, men ready to stomp somebody who asked the wrong questions at the wrong time.
Ennis was looking for somewhere hidden, so so he got the idea to act like he was "that" kind of man and let the boys find him.
He started to walk slower, changing his posture somehow, swaying his hips a little – remembering how Jack sometimes mimicked the walk of a woman - trying to open himself up and breathe freely, like a man now in his dream place.
After just 20 steps it was not so difficult to pretend to be a queer Ennis checked around under the brim of his hat and noticed a whore with a short black dress in front of a bar. The woman called to him and when he did not answer turned toward two men sitting outside.
"Hombre por Justino"she mocked.
Ennis ignored the comment but stored the name, it could be useful in his plan later.
He was sure people were watching his every move; fear was entering in his body – it's not the right place, it's too late, I'll never find him –but although his heart pushed painfully against his ribs his feet kept moving.
Ennis was near a rounded square when he noticed a small side street and two boys near a black door; following his gut he turned and looked around; the street was not too dark and the boys seemed young, maybe teens, thin and unless they were professional boxers he would be able to run away in case of trouble. One of the boys entered the building as soon as Ennis approached.
"Got a light?" he asked the other, showing a cigarette.
"Yes senor" the boy answered offering a match.
"Thanks."
"De nada Senor" He doused the small flame with a wrist flick.
Ennis waited, trying desperately to think of something to say; he was sure the contact was right, but what do queers say, what's on their minds when they want a fuck?
His brain was burning because that damned vision was coming back, the boy now with Jack's cock in his mouth. No! Ennis spit out the cigarette and gave a sidelong glance to the boy.
"You here alone? No girl tonight?"
"No Senor. Meet my friends now. Amigos de Miguel." Ennis was sure the boy, Miguel, was interested.
"They are here?"
"Here and in Texas senor, many Americans. Come see my friends?"
"Ok." So easy, in the end.
Ennis followed carefully Miguel through the door behind him. They entered a small square court courtyard, invisible from outside. There were only a few lights coming from small windows then Miguel walked toward a corner, opened another door and together they reached a long building with a porch on the front. Ennis stored in his memory the escape route, he was trying to be his usual self inside and while pretending to be the kind of men he still despised – although he did really love a man – outside.
Only for Jack, he repeated again and again to find him and take him away as soon as I can, and after to bang his head against the truck door, because he's so stupid and so am I.
There was music and a soft light coming from an open door Miguel entered and was greeted by the customers.
It was a small bar, rectangular and covered with brown wood panels for half of the wall and painted in dark white on the ceiling. Ennis scanned the people, three middle aged Mexicans watching a soccer game on a black and white television; the bartender was a black man totally bald, sweat was shining on his head.
Ennis saw the place as it really was. A brothel. May his late mother forgive him, this time he was sure to see on his forehead the red mark of sin.
Miguel asked him what he wanted.
"Beer."
"We sit over there" He went for a small table in the corner.
"Justino, dos corona." Miguel addressed the black man.
Ennis was suddenly interested, it was the same name mentioned by the whore He felt better now because there was a good chance to find his target.
"So," - Miguel was looking at him – "you like our friends?"
"Yeah, got a few friends up north, too".
"Where are you from?"
"Wyoming, but I work in Texas. Childress."
The meaning of the place went lost, better try something else, Ennis thought.
Justino approached them with two beers and Miguel did the introductions.
"Salud Ennis," said the black man, and Ennis noticed how his shirt strained against the broad chest, that man was built like a bull; he imagined in a blur of rage the dark hands touching Jack... No, better keep on with the role.
"Lots of guys come here to have fun," Justino said, sizing up Ennis as a potential buyer would have done for a horse at the fair.
"Nice place here", Ennis agreed, "no noises noise, no women shouting".
"Muchachas are so boring" Justino added, "and our friends got places to sleep here, also. Hey Rolando. Finished?" He said greeting a tall young man entering from the back door.
Rolando handed him something green tightly rolled up and Justino put it away in the back pocket of his trousers.
Ennis imagined it was the payment for a fuckRolando's forehead was sweaty and the shirt wet under the armpits.
He took a seat at their table and looked at Ennis, who felt uncomfortable but offered to buy him a beer.
They went outside Rolando searched in his pocket for a pack of cigarettes and Ennis took one with trembling hands.
They didn't need many words, Rolando said he wanted to thank Ennis for the beer, Ennis agreed and the boy said there was a private place upstairs. To use it Justino wanted a gift. Ennis said it was ok for him, but his mind was spinning.
Rolando gave him a questioning look and used his professional voice.
"No need to be afraid sir, it will be good."
Yeah, it will be good to run away and never look back, what am I supposed to do, really fuck him? For heaven's sake, he's not what I want not what I need, time to stop pretending and search the truth instead.
"You want something else to smoke?"
Never tried a drug before, but Ennis imagined briefly he could take it and forget the world outside him forget the demons inside his head forget Jack, too.
Rolando opened the door of a room on the first floor, similar to the one Ennis had in the vision, only without sounds from the street and with an acrid smell. He sat on a small bed and invited Ennis in.
Ennis entered leaving the door a little ajar. Closing it would be a proof that he was really going into the room of a whore; with an easy way out he could pretend every other way.
"Listen boy, I want only info from you. I'll pay you double, ok?
"Senor? You not like me?"
Rolando undid the two top buttons of the shirt, opened his legs a bit and licked his lips.
Ennis hold back his uneasiness at seeing the boy shamelessly showing his good assets.
He had no time to think, to compare him with Jack, to imagine to touching that bare body.
"Stop! I'm searching for a friend, it's important. We had a fight and I'm sure he's here. The money here, look!"
Rolando straightened himself and changed his fuck-me-face as soon as he saw the bills.
"Ok for me. No fuck, no work. The money first."
He grasped the dollars from Ennis and counted them greedily.
"How's he look?"
"Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, a black hat. Always smiles a lot."
Ennis realised at once those were the first words Jack spoke about his baby boy down in Texas in during their reunion, four years after that magic summer.
"Seen him before, was here earlier, then go out with Jose. Room first left at the top of the stairs."
Ennis moved with the speed of the lightening.