Title: Mexico.
Chapter: 5.
Disclaimer: see ch. 1.
Special thanks as always to my lovely and precious Betas Carol and Grace, for their help and their patience. Grazie!
Thanks to everybody who read and wrote a personal opinion! You are so important for me!
This chapter mixed with my holiday in Scotland without computer ... it was a pleasant travel and I met lots of friendly people.
And here's the new chapter!
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Jack was speechless after hearing the truth from his lover's mouth. He searched Ennis' eyes but the blond head was looking stubbornly at the bed. Above the bed there was a small cross, a red stain marking Jesus' chest.
It seemed strange, a symbol of faith in a cheap brothel. Jack remembered his mother reading the Bible, often after dinner, and repeating that God was everywhere. Was she right and was God ready to forgive a sinner like him for loving Ennis too much? He thought about his father's house, ample prairies, wind and the breath of God, praying that a part of that breath would pass over them both, now, to protect their souls and help find a way.
A strong voice, Ennis', woke Jack from his recollections. "Better get out of here. You can drive?"
"Think so."
"I want to recross the border now and find a safe place in Texas."
They left the room quietly and reached a narrow dark path behind the buildings, keeping themselves at a safe distance from Justino and his friends. Ennis was happy they were away from that ugly bar, free from dangers and mixed among lots of people strolling in the night. More confused than two hours before, Ennis checked his watch, it seemed impossible that he spent such a short time in Mexico.
Jack washed his face in a street fountain and scratched well under his nails to clean last traces of Josè. His wet dark hair were glistening in the moonlight, Ennis found himself staring at Jack, he never saw a man more beautiful.
Ennis was aware of his own stone-carved features, his thin lips and dry skin. Nothing special to look at, a tall thirty-something man with ruined hands from hard work and now with no work at all.
Jack was a perfect creature, both the charming prince and the sleeping beauty of his girls' bedtime stories.
Over the years, when they camped together, he spent endless nights looking at him sleeping and touching softly his face, hoping Jack didn't notice. Afterward, back in bed with Alma, he would revisit in silence those sweet memories.
"Where's your truck?" Ennis questioned. He was pressed for time and only wanted to run away.
Jack looked around and gestured somewhere along the main road, so they went to find Ennis' first before searching for the Texas plated one.
They found it in a parking area outside a small cinema, with a trembling light at the entrance, showing an old John Wayne western.
Jack dug around for the keys in his pocket, it was quite a miracle to find them. "I'll follow you," he said before leaving the passenger seat with his gaze averted. There was still something wrong. Ennis saw his lover walking unsteadily, avoiding putting weight on his left ankle and he told himself to check on it later.
Their engines started and Ennis aimed both rear and side mirrors directly on Jack; he didn't want to miss anything, not a single second of Jack, now that he had come so far.
The border crossing went smoothly and Ennis followed his earlier route, the only difference a two-coloured truck behind his.
He felt strange; although he usually enjoyed peace and freedom of driving alone, now he missed company.
How it could be to have Jack at his side, chatting and smiling only for him, discussing the road and and sharing beer from the same bottle? How many little things they could do together and never be done? And most important, whose fault was it? He always told Jack that a life together was impossible but now he didn't know if it was an absolute truth or simply words repeated over and over throughout their ten-year relationship. He believed that repeating something could make it true, like telling Alma "I love you", but after their bitter divorce he wasn't so sure.
Better find a place for the night and forget these strange thoughts. But his mind played against him and kept focusing on the sweet life Jack always talked about. They checked in a comfortable chain motel, the price was high for Ennis but Jack presented his gold credit card and insisted on paying.
He made up the story of a late business trip for the clerk to get only one room and to keep Ennis quiet. The room was clean and fresh with two beds; Ennis collapsed on the nearest. He wanted to sleep so bad and tried to close his eyes but Jack now was ready to talk. Hands stuffed in pockets, teeth tormenting his bottom lip, leaning against the entrance wall. Will that man ever close his mouth?
"So you came for me."
"Told you so."
That man was like a dog with a bone, never leaving it until all the meat was in his mouth and the bone laid bare at his feet.
Jack surely didn't want to miss this moment; somehow he felt Ennis' weakness, maybe because Ennis continued to glance at the side mirror while they were driving. Was Ennis really afraid to lose him again? "From Riverton."
"I live there."
"It's a long drive, you get an expensive fuck."
"Don't want it."
"No fucking? You're a saint Ennis. But you paid somebody down there, didn't you? To get upstairs."
"Yeah, it was only a boy, I paid him to ask about you."
"But it's a sin to pay a man, true?"
A harsh note of sarcasm tinged Jack's voice. "Well now I'm here, don't you want me?"
Words that sounded like Rolando's; Ennis suddenly got up and pushed Jack back roughly, trapping him between the wall and his body. It was good as usual to feel all of Jack pressed against him, but Ennis didn't want sex, now.
Jack moved his hips forward, rubbed against Ennis' still soft dick and started talking in a seductive voice, colored now by a hint of rage. "Come on, you earned it! Look at me, I'm like a whore, you said. I got a man in every town."
Ennis covered that mouth with both his hands, his darling was precious, not a cheap boy. "I don't want that."
Jack took a hand away and placed it on his groin. Ennis felt the familiar contours of Jack's erection and the usual sensation of desire when they were so close and intimate. He rubbed Jack's neck despite his resolve.
"What else you want from me? This is the only thing we got together". Tears were threatening to spill from those blue eyes.
Ennis didn't want to make Jack cry, not the right moment, not the place. Revenge was far from his mind, still fighting with the reasons that led him so far from home.
Ennis looked into Jack's eyes trying to reach his soul. "I need you."
"No Ennis, it's not me you need! It's only my body, nothing more. I'm tired of being with you only for small bites of your life."
"Shut up!" Ennis freed his hand from his lover's crotch and pressed fingers again in Jack's cheeks, harder, going deep with nails, finding the delicate jawbone.
Jack murmured something unintelligible, tried to bite his hand; in the past for them biting was part of foreplay, getting rough and hot together.
Ennis pushed harder ready to break skin, didn't want to hear words, whatever words, was afraid to know the truth now, because it hurt.
His resolve regarding Jack has been deeply shaken in the last 24 hours and could not accept more punches.
In the end Jack gave up, it become difficult for him to breathe; he raised both hands over his head in defeat, eyes pleading and mind praying not to cry.
Ennis let Jack go and without a word turned for the bathroom, where he remained for a long time under the shower. While washing away the smell of Mexico he was sure was glued to him, Ennis rewound the events of the day like a film. He was aware they had to fix their problems very soon, not as distant strangers but looking in each other's eyes. They only had a night to set things right, a night to decide the future of two lives.
Ennis always hated to be forced to do things in a hurry; not his nature, not his style. Tonight was different because tomorrow they would part in separate trucks, that's for sure, one headed East, one North, but to decide if it would be only a temporary parting they had to face this night. The herbal scented soap he found in the bathroom and the abundant hot water falling over his skin were pleasant, he was not accustomed to similar luxuries; since he was a child his education, his family, his marriage always screamed that those pleasures were not meant for Ennis del Mar.
With Jack, he found the greatest joy of all, aside from his girls – and now he understood he denied himself for more than ten years not only the pleasure of Jack's presence in his life but also those little acts of happiness and tenderness every man should experience.
The flow of water took away Ennis' tiredness from a day on the road and also, more slowly, some of his old fears.
After the divorce he was a different man - he realised it with great surprise, although the mirror reflected the same old image of his face – a man who had only one possibility to give a new meaning to his life. And if that possibility was the blue-eyed man in the other room - the world be damned - Ennis del Mar was ready to fight for him.
Meanwhile Jack took off his belt, boots and socks, falling on the left bed, careful of his sprained ankle; he didn't remembered when he injured it, maybe fighting with Josè. Surely in the morning it would be worse, he hoped to wear his boots again, but now he was too tired to get a bag of ice. Earlier, when he saw Ennis entering the room, he felt surprised, excited and worried like never before. While driving behind Ennis' truck he tried to stop the turmoil inside his brain, but there were too many emotions to deal with, his own and Ennis'. Their confrontation in the motel room added only more pain, so it was better to let sleep take care of everything.
Ennis reappeared on the threshold dressed only in jeans, holding his shirt; he looked at the beds, one empty and the other occupied with a sleeping form curled up like a ball. He couldn't be near Jack now, needed to avoid that tempting body for a while, especially if his man was still inclined to play the part of Rolando. Jack's ankle was visibly red and swollen and Ennis took all the ice cubes from the small room fridge, put them in a towel and draped it carefully over the foot. Jack didn't move. Ennis choose the right bed to rest a little bit and the room went silent.
TBC
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