Summer takes sides

Marissa was stunned.

How could Summer say that? She had been expecting Summer to be concerned and sympathetic not …. Abusive.

"But I was just trying to protect him … I didn't want to hurt him." Marissa tried to explain.

"What? And you don't think that lying to him hurt him? When will you realise that he's a big boy? I'm sure that he'd rather hear the truth from you and then deal with it than hear it from someone else and find out that you've lied to him."

"But I just …" Marissa started again.

Summer shook her head. "And I really thought that you two were going to make it this time. I sure hope that you haven't stuffed things up completely."

Her words ate into Marissa. Surely Ryan would forgive her? Wouldn't he?

Summer started again. "I told you when you got together again that if you hurt him that you'd have me to answer to." Summer wanted to comfort Marissa but she felt that Ryan was the one that deserved her loyalty at this point.

"But I didn't …"

"What? Didn't lie? ….. You just told me that when Ryan asked how good a friend Karl was that you 'forgot' to mention that you'd slept with him … you denied that he was anything special. And then you thought that they might become friends? What are you on girl? Can you imagine how you'd feel if Ryan did the same thing to you? Although I'm sure you can't because that's one thing that Ryan doesn't do. He doesn't lie."

"But I don't … it was …"

"What? You don't lie? Don't give me that. You and your little secrets. Haven't you learnt from past experiences that they always come out and somehow or other it is always seems to be Ryan that gets hurt the most by them?"

"When have I …?" Marissa started only to be cut off again.

"Let me see … How about when Ryan came back from Chino and asked were you dating anyone and you said no. And then he comes to talk to you only to find you making out with DJ in the driveway. Real nice …."

Marissa felt sick. "But it wasn't like that …" she said. Surely Ryan could see that this was different.

"What you don't think he wasn't hurt by that? You have to be kidding me? And then of course there's the really big one." Summer said.

"What big one?" Marissa asked.

Suddenly Summer wondered if perhaps she had taken things too far. No one ever talked about it and now she had to go and bring it up. She thought about dropping it but decided that the time had come. If Ryan and Marissa were ever going to have a future together then they were going to have to deal with it. And properly. "When Ryan came back form Miami." Was all she needed to say.

Marissa felt physically ill. She tried not to think about that. Ever. Some nights she still lied awake and wondered what would have happened if she had done things differently? If she had called Ryan in Miami when it first happened and told him about Trey. What would he have done when he got home? Could things have turned out any worse than they did?

When Ryan had asked her over and over what happened when he'd been away and whether anything had happened between her and Trey – she had kept it all a secret …and it had eaten away at them and caused a distance that she would never forget … until she finally opened up to Summer who then spilt the beans and Marissa ended up shooting Trey. And Ryan had ended up caught between a rock and a hard place. Suddenly Marissa realised that if it hadn't been for Summer telling Seth then maybe things would have turned out differently. If only she'd kept her mouth shut. "You were the one that caused that problem." Marissa bit back trying to get Summer to take some of the blame.

Summer was stunned. Sure she told Seth the truth about what had happened but Marissa must have known that the truth would have to come out some time. However Summer had to admit that a few times over the years she had wished that she had waited and told Sandy first. Things may have turned out so much better if she hadn't just rushed off to Seth with the news. What had she expected him to do? She knew that he would tell Ryan straight away. And that had been a recipe for disaster. But if Marissa had told them all in the first place then Summer would never have been put in that position. "No I wasn't. You should have told him in the first place. Keeping secrets always comes back to bite you."

Marissa had to wonder if she was right. She played with her ring and then decided that they were getting no where. She wanted out of this conversation as quickly as possible. "If you hear from him can you please just let me know?"

"Sure. But I wouldn't hold your breath." Summer said and then thought about how upset Marissa had been when she'd first called and added. "And don't worry about him. He's pretty good at looking after himself. I'm sure that he'll turn up … when he's ready."

---

Ryan's cab pulled up in front of the apartment building and unfortunately there were a couple of photographers there even at this early hour. He had to wonder if they ever slept. But he had no time for them. He paid the driver and then as quickly as possible made his way inside, not hesitating once to answer any of the questions that were being thrown at him.

He made his way to her floor, hoping that she would be sound asleep and he would have some time to pull him self together before he had to confront her. But just as he was about to place his key in the lock, the door opened from the inside. He steeled himself … waiting to confront Marissa … only to come face to face with Karl. It was touch and go just who was the more shocked.

Finally Ryan found his voice. "What are you doing here?" Ryan asked. Karl was the last person that he expected or wanted to see at this point. Did this mean that things between Marissa and Karl weren't over? Ryan had been beating him self up all night with thoughts of Marissa lying but he hadn't seriously considered the fact that maybe she didn't want to be with him anymore. Doubts started to creep in again. He may have decided that he still wanted to be with her but maybe she didn't feel the same way?

Karl raised his open hands in mild defence indicating that he wasn't looking for a fight. "I just brought her home. She's a bit of a mess." He explained.

"Was she drinking?" Ryan asked. He knew from experience how Marissa dealt with things in the past.

"NO!" Karl said. "She's just distraught."

Ryan listened to the words and much as he tried, he couldn't help but be concerned about Marissa. "What did you do to her?" Ryan asked starting to get angry.

"Nothing. She was just upset when you took off." Karl replied and then decided that he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Whatever was going to happen … he didn't want to be part of it? "I have to go. But she's just fallen asleep. Maybe you should let her be for a while."

Ryan nodded and then stood to one side to let Karl passed. He watched his retreating form as Karl moved to the lift and then somehow found his manners. "And thanks." Ryan said.

Karl turned at his voice, not sure just what he meant.

"For bringing her home." Ryan added.

Karl nodded. "I know this may sound strange coming from me but I hope that you sort things out."

Ryan nodded and then made his way inside.

---

Ryan moved into the bedroom and looked at the sleeping form of the woman he loved. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying, but she still looked beautiful to him. There was no doubt that there were times when he wished that he could stop loving her. But he had tried over the years and it was no use. She was it for him. She was like a drug that he couldn't live without. Whether it was good for him or bad for him he sometimes wasn't sure. He just knew that … he was dependant on her to make his life complete. Without her his life seemed pointless. He would just have to try to come to terms with how they were going to make their life together work. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to trust her again. Lies came much too easily to her.

He knew that it made him weak …But there was no way that he could live without her.