Who's to blame?

As Marissa collapsed on top of Ryan totally spent his phone started to ring again. She looked at him as he tried to come back to earth and smiled. It was good to know that she could have the same effect on him as he had on her. "At least it didn't ring a minute earlier." She panted.

"True." He panted in reply. "But a few minutes later would have been even better." He said as he reached for the phone again thinking that this time it must be Seth. Looking at it, he hesitated, wondering whether to answer or not.

"Who is it? Why don't you answer?" Marissa asked.

"It's Annabel ..." he replied as he dropped his hand back down on to the bed, the phone still firmly in his grasp. "I really want to give her a piece of my mind. I figure that she's the one that has revealed to the press about our marriage and caused that mayhem downstairs. But right now …" he indicated the state he was in. "I don't think I have the strength to do it."

Marissa felt sick. She knew that she had to tell him that it was probably her fault that the press knew … but she didn't want to upset the mood between them. Things were going so well. After everything that had happened in the last 24 hours she didn't want to disappoint him yet again. She panicked trying to think of something … anything to delay the inevitable. "Why … why do you think it was Annabel?" she asked.

Ryan waited for the call to go to voicemail and then put the phone back down thinking that he'd call her back later when he'd composed himself. He turned to Marissa. "Well … unless I'm a very bad judge of character … our friend back in Las Vegas is much too greedy to put at risk the thought of a big bonus from me. I don't think that he would have said anything. And Keith's been much too busy with Cheryl and Emily. Plus … if he had let something slip then he would have said so. He wouldn't have been asking could they move in to the apartment together … he would have been asking for forgiveness. And then that just leaves you and me. So it must have been her. I have no idea why but? I can't see what she thinks she can gain by it? I'm pretty disappointed actually. She'd been doing so well in my absence. I had actually been considering giving her a promotion when I got back …some more responsibility … but I guess that can't happen. If I can't trust her then I'll have to get rid of her. It's a shame. I thought that if I could hand over a few things to her when we got home then we'd be able to spend more time together … that I wouldn't have needed to be in the office quite so much … but I guess not."

Marissa felt sick. She knew that she had to tell him but every word he said only seemed to make it more difficult. "Is it that bad that the truth's out there? I mean … it had to happen sometime."

"Sure. And part of me is happy that now everyone will know. Maybe all the problems with Karl and Sasha could have been avoided if they'd realised that we were married. But if you'd heard Seth … I mean I knew that he wouldn't be happy but I never imagined …"

"Seth knows?" Marissa asked stunned. She rolled off Ryan and lay flat on her back looking at the ceiling. This was getting worse and worse. She wondered how the information had gotten as far as LA in such a short amount of time.

"Oh yeah. He called me just as I was walking out of the club earlier."

"What were you doing back at the club?" Marissa asked.

"When I left last night I left my jacket there with my phone in the pocket." Ryan explained.

"So that's why you didn't answer when I called you?"

"Uh huh." Ryan replied. Although he suspected that he may not have answered anyway. He had needed the time to himself to think everything through.

"So what happened with Seth? Did you decide to tell him after all?" Marissa asked hoping that the answer would be yes. Then at least they would both be responsible for the news being out there.

"No. He already knew. Well … he didn't actually know. He rang to tell me that he'd had a phone call asking were we married. At first, he thought that it was ridiculous that the press would make up a story like that about us. …but … I had to tell him that it was the truth." Ryan went quiet as the memory of the conversation came back to him. "I couldn't lie to him." Ryan explained.

Marissa nodded. She knew that Ryan didn't have it in him to lie.

Ryan went on quietly as the memory of his conversation came to mind. "He … he … couldn't believe that we would go ahead and get married without them." He said sadly.

"Did you explain …" Marissa went to ask only to be interrupted.

"I tried … but he didn't want to listen. He hung up on me in disgust. He wouldn't even give me a chance."

"But surely he'll be okay with it. It's just been a bit of a surprise." Marissa suggested.

"I think it was a little more than 'a bit of a surprise'. Even Sandy didn't take the news so well."

"Sandy knows too?" Marissa asked even more surprised.

"Yeah. I called him and told him. I figured that once Seth knew that it was only a matter of time before he told his parents and that being the case then it would be better if they heard it from me. Apparently they'd been getting calls from reporters anyhow."

"How did he take it?" Marissa asked.

Ryan shrugged. "There's no doubt that he was disappointed that we hadn't included them. He basically accused me of rushing things."

They both lay there silently the words running through their minds. Had they? There was no doubt that they wanted to be together. But they still seemed to be able to hurt one another. Maybe they should have taken more time to clear things up between them. They still had a lot of issues from their past that they hadn't even mentioned let alone talked about. But maybe they were better left in the past. Nothing could change them now.

"I'm going to have a lot of begging and scrapping to do when we get back." Ryan explained. "I really have no idea how I can make it up to them. Right now I'm not sure whether it is good or bad that we are on the other side of the world. Part of me would like to be there so that I could try to explain … but then part of me is just hoping that by the time we get back they will be over the initial shock and that they'll be able to understand."

Marissa still said nothing. The thought that her slip had caused problems for Ryan and the people that he cared most about in the world only making it even harder for her to come clean and tell him about her part in all of it. But she knew that she had to do it. After everything that they'd just been through … she had to come clean and tell him the truth.

Ryan sensed her uneasiness and tried to lighten the mood. "I have a terrible feeling that if we were in L.A. then Seth would have had a rage blackout on me. He's probably been taking lessons from Summer."

At the mention of Summer's name, Marissa felt even worse. To say that they'd ended their last conversation on a bad note would be putting it mildly. How had things gotten so bad in such a short amount of time? She couldn't help but think that if she hadn't lied to Ryan in the first place about Karl, then all of this could have been avoided. It was up to her to make it better. But how was she going to do that when she doubted that Summer would even talk to her.

Marissa thought about what would be the best way to attack this. Should she tell him it was her and then try to explain why she said it … or should she try to explain what happened after he left the club and then after he realised just how upset she was then maybe he wouldn't mind when she told him that she'd revealed it to Sasha and Karl. She couldn't decide which way to tackle it but she knew she needed to find the words to explain to Ryan what went on. Just as she went to open her mouth her phone rang.

Ryan laughed. "Well … at least it's not mine this time. Maybe Seth gave up on mine because it was always busy and is calling on yours instead."

Marissa smiled in return. She couldn't help but feel that she had been saved by the bell. She moved off the bed to retrieve her phone from her bag on the floor. Checking the caller id she quickly answered it with a puzzled look on her face.

Ryan watched Marissa as the expression on her face changed. Her face quickly went from one of pleasure to one of … he wasn't sure exactly what it was … but it definitely wasn't good. Marissa was saying very little but she was obviously upset by what ever was being said. He was sure that he could see tears welling in her eyes and yet he could tell from her tone of voice that she didn't want to let on that what ever was being said was hurting her. She glanced at him and then quickly looked away as if she was embarrassed. He had no idea what was going on but he couldn't wait for her to get off the call so that he could find out what the problem was.

And then it hit him.

Had something happened to Julie? Dan had said that she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Had she finally gone over the edge? And could Ryan have prevented it? He should have never agreed to keep Julie's condition from Marissa. He'd already decided earlier … after his talk with Marissa about being open and honest … that he would have to tell her. But he had thought that he would do Dan the service of calling him first and explain why he was going to have to break his promise and tell his wife. He had no intention of there ever being any secrets between them ever again. But was it all too late? And what would Marissa say once she knew that he'd been aware of the state that her mother was in?

Would she ever be able to forgive him?