A Matter of Opinion

by. homeostatis

Disclaimer: Yachiru just won't let go of Ken-chan so… no. I own nothing.

A/N: This is me fan-girling over Kenpachi while using Yumichika as an excuse to describe Ken-chan's rock star hair.

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Chapter 1: Ugly (Beautiful)

Oh no, not that hideous question again. Why do I follow Zaraki-taichou? Don't you know how horribly passé that is? How many times I've been asked that over the years? Sigh. Very well, I shall explain if just to grace you with my wonderful storytelling skills (or perhaps to give you a chance to gape in wonder of my beauty? Of course, of course.)

Other shinigami always ask me this. Why, if I'm so obsessed (for the record, I am not. I merely appreciate it as a good connoisseur should) with beauty, do I follow once of the ugliest men in soul society (and remain in the division where "ugly" is a way of life)?

Well, to put it simply, he's not. Ugly that is.

Oh, of course he's rather stupid looking (who wouldn't with an eye patch and bells in his hair?) but he's far from ugly. I don't follow ugly people after all.

Have you ever seen him without those hideous spikes marring the surrounding air with its putrid presence? Without that monstrous eye patch sucking on his eye just to provide ample breathing space for weaklings who don't know how to stand their ground in the face of powerful reiatsu? With both his eyes trained on you with their terrible, frightening clarity? Scary? Not so much. It's rather charming actually.

What's that? I sound fruity? Well, excuse me, who asked for a look into my mind? That's right, jackass.

Moving on…

I remember the day I first saw him. Ikkaku and I were unlucky enough to have encountered him on our way to another district and by that time he only fought for the sake of fighting. No one had been able to scratch him in years.

He was tall and gangly with long, greasy hair sweeping down his broad back. It was rather gross observing that little mess but I suppose it was difficult to come across a decent bath in those days (God knew only skill kept my beauty intact for so long). His body was purely muscle, bone, and skin and I remember thinking to myself how absolutely horrid that long, nasty scar was on the left side of his face. Idly, I'd wondered how much the wound had hurt.

He also had a huge zanpakuto on his back (right here I'd promptly thought "well, fuck"). It had my attention for a while seeing as I was still trying to think of a way to get out of this mess—being the brains and the beauty of the group really took a lot out of a person sometimes—without messing up my hair when something pink caught my attention. I looked up.

And suddenly I noticed that there was this sweet little girl on his shoulder, clinging like a very cute, pink growth on his back.

(Well, it wasn't until much later—she yanked my hair, the little bitch!—that I realized she wasn't all that sweet but it's the first impression that really counts here.)

I almost laughed, almost, but I quickly reminded myself not to ruffle my cool exterior—oh and that there was this guy with a really, really big zanpakuto in front of us.

Ikkaku, however, had no such reservations (the poor, stupid soul had not even an ounce of my good common sense) and laughed at the little girl like she was one of those nasty drunks blundering along on the sidewalks.

The little girl grew incensed and yelled at Ikkaku, telling the large man how stupid this bald new fiend was and that she didn't like him. The large man—Zaraki Kenpachi as I later found out—did something that I never thought was possible in a hideously selfish place like Rukongai. He patted her on the head (I'd almost believe that he had a slight smile on his face as he did this) and told her that he'd "beat him good" for her.

Upon hearing that pronouncement, Ikkaku, God forbid, challenged the man with the large zanpakuto on his back. And lost spectacularly if I might add. He didn't look very aesthetically pleasing at the end and while I was glad he was alive I still think that he could have gone down in a much lovelier manner. But it was inevitable, I suppose, because had he not lost we would not have heard those words that changed our lives and inspired us to tag along behind this strange man.

No, I will not tell you what those words were so go away; your ugliness is destroying my beautiful aura.

Oh my, I'm going off tangent aren't I? Why didn't you remind me? Huff. Either way, at least now you know how we met. Despite everything it was quite a beautiful experience, don't you agree? (Nod your head if you don't want me to slice it off.) That's wonderful! I'm glad you agree; I do know all about these things after all.

Alright. So where was I? Oh yes, why I follow such an ugly man? I already told you, he isn't as ugly as he is lacking in proper fashion sense.

He's certainly not a pretty boy, god no, but he's manly enough don't you think? Broad shoulders, tall, chiseled face, muscles, don't you girls like that sort of thing too? (Of course, I know you prefer men more like me but not everyone can get their hair this wonderfully shiny, or their figures this impossibly fine. You'll have to settle for less beautiful men, and, well, just answer my question please. Thank you.).

But I'm not only speaking of physical beauty. Surprised? I thought so. I'm also speaking of Zaraki-taichou, as a whole; as the man I worked for and under for the past few decades. He was strange and brutish and not a little uncouth but he always showed a different kind of concern for all of us—Ikkaku, me, and especially Yachiru—no matter how small the gesture was.

He knew the beauty in protecting others (not that we needed it) and he relished it with a passion that brought him to where he is today. Ah, wonderfully poetic of me, no?

But honestly, let me ask you, how could a man be ugly like that? What, with that beautiful little girl clinging to him like her life line (I believe that he was all she had once, I wouldn't be surprised if this was completely true) with that joyous smile on her face. She was always very clean you know, always well-dressed and well-fed. Seems that ugly man knew how to take care of a child, hm?

I never saw him as ugly, not really. Intimidating, yes; strange, yes; badly dressed, oh god yes; but ugly? No. He had his own kind of beauty, just as a snake has its own grace even while it's slithering around on the filthy ground. You just have to find it under the fangs and pray you don't get bitten in the process.

Did that answer your question? Well, good. Now leave, I have to brush my hair.

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A/N: Woo. Chapter two. Lotsa swearin' in the next one. Review!

Update (11/31/06): I THINK I fixed some of the comma errors. I think. 8D