If you have time I'd love to hear your views on the next chapter even if they are brief. I think that you'll realise why once you read it and I know that everyone probably has their own view about it but I figure that I've put mine out there and now I'd love to know how everyone else feels. If there are 200 people on average reading each chapter then getting 2 reviews is a bit lame.

The honeymoon

James had called on Saturday night to make sure that they had gotten to the farmhouse with no problems and informed them that they were to make themselves at home. Once his uncle had found out that they were on their honeymoon he'd told James that they should help themselves to the contents of the freezer and the wine cellar. It was his wedding present to them and would mean that they were totally self sufficient. They wouldn't need to see another soul unless they chose to. And they didn't.

The next couple of days Ryan and Marissa were blissfully happy.

Their days had taken on a pattern that they never wanted to break. They woke. Made love. Ate breakfast. Made love. Showered. Made love. Went for a walk in the vineyards. Made love. Ate lunch. Made love. Talked. Laughed. Cooked Dinner. Ate. Made love. And they never tired of it. They never tired of one another. If anything they were closer than ever.

Their dinners had become works of art. They had found some cookbooks in the kitchen and the major task each day was deciding what they were going to prepare for dinner that evening. It had become quite an event. They would work alongside each other in the kitchen, dividing the tasks between the two of them. Stopping each time they passed one another to kiss … occasionally getting carried away … at which point food was forgotten for a while until they'd satisfied each other once again … and then they would resume where they had left off. They had both decided that making pastry was their favourite. Kneading the dough was a joint affair … done with the same precision that the clay was moulded in 'Ghost'. But what was even better than on the movie was that they could eat the dough. And the sticky fingers were often licked clean and of course all cooking was done by two naked bodies wearing nothing but aprons … so if other parts ended up sticky then they needed to be licked clean too. It left them with all sorts of possibilities and they took basically every opportunity that presented itself.

Sometimes it meant that they didn't actually eat … well food anyhow … until late at night …their 'distractions' often leading to quite long interruptions to the meal preparations. And one time they had needed to stop for a shower after Ryan had taken Marissa on the kitchen table that they'd just been kneading the pastry on for a French Apple Tart. She had ended up with flour everywhere and Ryan had kindly offered to help her wash it all off … which of course lead to dinner being even later again. And where at all possible, the finished product was served off naked bodies using fingers and tongues. They had both decided that utensils were very over rated.

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Tuesday morning Marissa woke early and gazed out at another beautiful day. There had been a light shower of rain in the early hours of the morning that had now passed to leave a bright blue sky but the rain had been just enough to freshen up everything. She could smell the newness of life as she lay beside Ryan making plans. And she knew that today was the day. She just had to get Ryan to go along with everything and fall in with her plans.

When they were getting ready to go for their regular walk she told Ryan that it was such a beautiful day that she thought that today they should take a picnic basket with them and have lunch down beside the stream that ran through the property. Ryan happily agreed. They had gotten in to the habit of baking fresh rolls each morning and Marissa put some in a basket along with a bottle of wine and some cheese and pate and a few grapes. Marissa had decided the day before exactly where she wanted to go. Their was a small bend in the stream and obviously sometime, probably years ago, someone had placed a row of rocks across the stream there, whether to make a small bridge to cross over the water or whether it was a child's version of a dam to try to hold back the stream she had no idea. But it meant that there was a constant noise coming from the sound of the water as it fell over the rocks and stones making its way downstream. It was the perfect babbling brook and right beside it was a huge tree. This was where Marissa led Ryan to and once there, Ryan laid out the blanket and Marissa joined him on it as they curled into one another just listening to the water and enjoying just being with one another.

They lay there for some time just relaxing. Ryan was on his back, his hands behind his head and Marissa was on her side leaning in to him … her head resting on his chest watching the steady rise and fall. She was so content with the silence between them that she was hesitant to break it and yet she knew that she had to do it sometime. It was Tuesday already. If she intended to invite anyone else to the wedding it would need to be done today. She knew that ultimately it would be her decision what to do about her mother and Dan … and she still was unsure about that. But as to whether Ryan would want any Atwood's there … she was going to have to sound Ryan out without letting him realise just why she was asking.

Eventually, knowing that she could put it off no longer, Marissa decided she would just have to come out and ask. She had been trying to think of some way to bring them up casually in the conversation but there was no way that anything about Ryan's family could ever be considered 'casual' … so she just spurted it out. "Do you still see much of your family?"

Ryan was startled out of his peaceful tranquillity. "Do you mean the Cohen's?"

Marissa shook her head. "No. The Atwood's. We haven't really spoken about them since we've been back together."

Ryan took a deep breath. "There's not much to speak about. My mother died about 2 years ago now." Ryan informed her.

Marissa pulled back and looked deeply into his eyes … trying to gauge the effect that it had had on him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Ryan shrugged. "How could you? She developed cancer of the liver. From the time it was diagnosed to the time she died was only about 8 weeks. I guess that with all her drinking over the years, her liver was in no fit state to combat anything. But at least it was quick and she didn't suffer for long." He explained quietly.

Marissa nodded. "I'm glad." She hesitated and then added. "You know she really did love you in her own way."

"Probably. I guess that she did try to make us into a family at some point but it just never came together. Between my father and Trey …" Marissa flinched just at the sound of his name and Ryan noticed the movement and pulled her in to him and continued. "I realise that she never really had a chance."

"What about your father?"

"I have no idea. I haven't heard from him since he went off to prison when I was about eight. I guess that he got out a while ago but he's never come looking for me and I sure as hell don't intend to go looking for him. I only need one father and Sandy fills that role admirably. For all I know my real father could be dead too … or he could be back in jail. Neither of those two options would surprise me. The only thing that would surprise me would be to find out that he was keeping out of trouble and trying to hold down an honest job. But I gave up believing in fairytales like that a long time ago."

"And …." Marissa found that she couldn't even say his name but Ryan knew instantly who she was referring to just from the tremor in her voice.

"Trey?" Ryan supplied. "I haven't seen him since he left Newport on that bus. When mum was alive she occasionally told me some news of him. They used to keep in touch. I think that perhaps she was hoping that one day I might forgive him and want to see him."

"And you didn't?"

"Why would I want to?" Ryan asked almost disbelieving that she would even ask.

"Because he's you brother." Marissa said softly.

"No. Seth's my brother. What Trey did to you …" Ryan started … only to have to stop before the emotions in him bubbled over. He swallowed deeply trying to regain control. "I could never forgive him for that."

"I'm sorry." Marissa said softly.

Ryan turned to her. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But you lost your brother because of me."

"He was never a real brother. He was just someone that lived in the same house as me when I was growing up. He was always steering me into trouble. I'm old enough now to realise that he was always bad news. Surely you know me well enough to know that I would never have anything to do with any male who could use force on a female to get their way. Eddie … Trey … they were all the same." Ryan said disgustedly. "And to think that he would do that … and not to just any female but to you …" Ryan shook his head. "He knew that I loved you. As far as I'm concerned the brother I thought I had, died that day. I'm glad that he never came back because I still think that I would probably want to beat the living daylights out of him if I ever saw him again. And then I'd probably end up in jail as well."

Marissa couldn't help but be somewhat relieved by his words. She had been scared that she may have had to face Trey again. "Was he not at your mother's funeral?" Marissa asked.

Ryan shook his head. "No. Sandy tried to find him but I gather he was back in jail for something. I didn't really care at the time. I was just happy that I wasn't going to have to have anything to do with him."

"But don't you miss them? They were you family." Marissa asked suddenly realising that maybe Julie wasn't that bad when you compared her to Ryan's family.

"No. Not really. It's hard to miss what you never had. They were people that lived with me. But even though occasionally Mum tried … in between her bouts with the bottle … we were never a family. There was never any support or love between us. We were just people that shared a house. But that just makes me want to have a family even more. Someday I want to have the real thing. The Cohen's have been amazing. They have been with me through thick and thin." Ryan said finally smiling as he thought back and then added "I want my own family like that one day. It's important to me. Maybe if my mother had have lived longer then we might have been able to salvage something … I don't know." He shrugged. "But I do know that I would have tried."

As Marissa processed his words, she knew that she would need to ask her mother to the wedding. She didn't want to have regrets later in life that she didn't try. She realised why it was so important to Ryan that she did try to make things right with Julie. Because he had some regrets that he hadn't been able to do that with his own mother when she had died so quickly. If Ryan had been prepared to give his mother a chance after everything that she had put Ryan through, then surely she could do the same thing. She was still lucky enough to have a chance with Julie. Ryan no longer had that possibility with his mother.

She would call England today.