Chapter 3: I could never hate you!

Martin's POV

The ride home was filled with an uncomfortable silance. Martin nor Ruthie had said as much as three word's to eachother since lunch, excpt for when Martin asked her if she was "ready to go".

When they got home, Ruthie seemed to jump out of the car.She walked quickly into the house and he herd the door lightly slam shut."What is going on!I can't beleve this ... I've never went so long without talking to her.Why wont she just say something?Or at least do something ... she wont even look at me.Maybe she's waiting for me to say something ... No, if that was it she would have just told me.I'll just ask her ... hopefully she wont run away again, befor I have the chance to." Martin thought to himself, he exhaled a breath he haden't noticed he had been holding, got out of the car and headed twords the house.

Ruthie's POV

"Why wont he just say something ... anything! He won't even look at me ... God I would be satisfied if he just smiled. Anything's better than this! What did I do to him? I know Cassey must have embarrassed him ... he knew she was talking about his letter.But still that is no reason to completely ignore me all day." When they pulled into the driveway, Ruthie got her stuff and was out of the car before it had finished stopping.She quickly walked to the house and got inside ... not realizing just how hard she had shut the door.

"Hey Ruthie!" Said an overly happy Lucy.

"Huh? Oh Hi." Was Ruthie's some what of a whisper reply.

"Whats wrong? Where's Martin?"Lucy looked past her younger sister. " Did he have practice today?"

" No. He's coming." Said Ruthie.

"Did you two have a fight?"Ruthie couldn't help but laugh a little, because it was kind of funny ... They didn't have a fight, but they weren't talking to eachother either.

"No. I'm fine.I just have alot of homework today that's all." She quickly lied.

"Oh Ok.I'm making a snack ... do you want something?" Lucy asked, not believing her sister.

Ruthie haden't eatin much at lunch, and did want something ... but right when she was about to accept, she saw the door open and Martin walk in.

"No thank's Luce. I'm not really hungry ... I had a big lunch."She lied once again.

"Ok." Lucy saw Martin come in and the expression on her sisters face change.

And she watched as Ruthie ran up the stairs, not even glancing at Martin."Something's going on with thoes two." She thought to herself.

Martin had just gotten to the door when he herd the voices inside.

"I'm fine. I just have alot of homework today thats's all." He realized the first voice was Ruthie ... and not realizing it he smiled, when he herd her.

"Oh Ok. I'm making a snak ... do you want something?" And the second voice was Lucy.

He realized that if someone came home and saw him standing there, they would think he was crazy. So he walked inside.

When he closed the door behind him, he saw Ruthie look up at him for a second, then turn back to talk with her older sister.

"No thank's Luce. I'm not really hungry ... I had a big lunch." He new she was lying, because he had sat with Cassey and Ruthie at lunch ... and she haden't really eatin anything. But then again neither had he.

"Ok"replied Lucy as she watched her sister run up the stairs.Both her and Martin noticing that Ruthie haden't even looked slightly in his direction.

When Lucy turned to Martin she was suprised by the very sad/hurt look on his face ... it wasen't very often that he let people see when he was feeling. And the fact that he was made her realize that Martin felt something completely different for Ruthie, she wasen't only a friend to him, he liked her ... alot.

"Hey Martin. You Ok?" She asked with a smile spreading across her face.

Martin looked up at Lucy and saw a very big smile on her face ... like she knew something the rest of the world didn't ... but that was Lucy, she always looked like that ... so he didn't think anything of it, and smiled back at her.
"Hi. Yea I'm fine. What about you ... How are you?" He responded politely.
"I'm great." She said once again, overly happy.
"Great. So I'm going to go upstairs and do my homework. I'll talk to you later Ok?" He asked while starting to turn toward's the stairs.
"Sure. Bye." Came her cheery reply.
"She is in way to good of a mood." Martin thought to himself.
"What's going on with you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" She was trying to sound as innocent as possible.
"Never mind. I have to do my homework. Bye." He turned and walked up stairs lightly laughing.

3 hours later

Ruthie was just finishing up her Math homework when she herd someone knocking on her door.

"Come in!"

The door opened slowly, Ruthie looked up from her desk, and saw Martin come in. She felt her heart begin to pound in her chest, and had to remind herself to breathe.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"Hey."She said just as quietly.

Neither one said anything for a few seconds until Martin finally said something but to quiet for Ruthie to hear.

"I'm ..." He kept his eye's on the ground.
"What?" She asked giving him a funny look.

Martin cleared his throat and spoke again.This time a bit clearer.

"I'm sorry."
"For what...?"

"What ever it is your mad at me about."

Ruthie was shocked by his last statement ... she put her head down ... because she just couldn't look him in the eye's.

"I'm not mad at you." She spoke softly.

"Then why ..." Martin was becoming confused.

"I thought you were mad at me."
"Why would I be mad at you? You didn't do anything."

"Yea that's what you think." She said quiet enough that Martin coudn't hear.

"What?" He asked taking a step closer.

"Nothing."

"Ruth, you can't keep doing that.Talk to me."

"Doing what? I do talk to you."

"Then why do I feel like you've been hiding something?" He asked matter of factly.

"I don't know.But I'm not." She was being stubborn, even though she knew he was right.

"Are you sure?Because you can tell me." He knew she was stubborn, but so was he. And he knew she wasen't telling the truth.

"I'm positive."She looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his eye's and a smile spread across her face.

"Ok. ... What are you smiling about?" He asked smiling back.

"You." She said sweetly.

"What?" He asked a bit suprised.

"I mean ... your just such a great person ... friend.Your always looking out for me.And that makes me happy." She started to stammer again. Something Martin noticed she did when she was nervous.

Martin could feel his face heat up a little, so he looked down.And when he looked back up he had a smile just as big as Ruthie's across his face.

"Well your a pretty great friend yourself." He said.

"Really?"She sounded as if it were the craziest idea ever.She sounded sad.

Martin herd the sudden change in her voice.

"Are you kidding me? Your the best friend I've ever had." He replied honestly.

Ruthie could feel the tears begin to stream down her cheeks. So she got up from her desk and made her way over to her bed.Martin following her with his eyes.

"Hey what's wrong?" He said, becoming worried.

Ruthie sat down on her bed, and befor she knew it Martin was sitting next to her with his arms wrapped around her.

"Ruthie what happend?" He whispered into her ear.

"I didn't ... w-want you to ... get h-hurt again." She replied through deep breaths.

"What are you talking about?" Martin asked, still holding her tightly against his body.

"Cecilia." She whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"Cecilia? What about her?" He pulled back a little so that he could see her face.But she looked away."Ruthie?"

"She called.She wanted to talk to you ... she said she missed you, and wanted to see you.But I was afraid that if you talked to her she would just end up hurting you again ... and I couldn't see you go through that again." She said it all in one quick breath.

Martin just sat there looking at her, shocked by what she had just said ... that was the last thing he expected for her to say.He noticed Ruthie was still talking and came out of his thought's.

"I knew it! You hate me now!" Her tears began to fall faster and harder.

Martin looked at her after she said this and his heart broke"How could she think that?I could never hate her." He thought to himself.

"Hey ... Hey, come here. Ruthie listen to me. I don't hate you. I could never do that. I'm shocked, and kind of confused, but I could never hate you. Ook?" He rubed a hand over her back trying to sooth her.

Ruthie pulled out of his embrace and looked him in his eye's, she knew he was telling the truth.And then she began to cry again ... but this time a different kind of tears ... she was crying tears of happiness.And she fell back into his arms one more time.

A few miutes later they pulled apart and Ruthie wipped the wetness from her cheeks.

"You Ok now?" He asked quietly.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Anytime. ... Can I ask you something though?"

"About ... Cecilia?" She was a bit hesitant.

"Kind of."

"Go ahead."She smiled at him.

"Why didn't you just trust that I would do the right thing?"

"It isn't that I didn't trust you Martin ... I didn't trust your feelings for her.We both know that you still Love her. And I just couldn't let you go through all of that pain again." She sounded sad, and like she was stating the obvious at the same time.

Martin just sat there for a second and looked at her. And saw something he haden't seen befor. He saw Ruthie ... not Ruthie the girl whos family he lived with ... not Ruthie the girl he went to school with ... and not Ruthie the girl he used to consider a sister. He saw Ruthie ... the girl who's tears broke his heart ... and smiles were what he woke up every morning looking forward to seeing. He saw the girl, that when he hugged her, she made him want to never let go.And for the first time in a very very long time, he saw Ruthie ... the girl who made him truly happy.

Ruthie sat there watching as Martin just looked at her. Not knowing what he was going to do or say next.Then she saw a smile creep onto his face and tears begin to fill his eyes. And befor she new what was happining he had pulled her into his arms.And as he pulled away he began to speak again.

"Ruth ... there will always be apart of me that will always Love Cecilia ... because she was the first girl I ever felt that way about. But believe me when I say this. I am not in Love with her anymore.And she will not be the last girl I ever Love, that I am positive about." He said quietly, while looking her in her dark brown eye's.

"But ... " Ruthie was cut off by a knock on the door."Come in."

" Ruthie dinners ready." Came the voices of her two younger brother's.

"Oh Ok. Thank you for coming to tell me."She smiled at the small boy's.

"Your welcome.'They replied at the same time.

They just stood there for a few seconds looking at Martin befor he smiled at them and told them he would be right down. They smiled back then turned and ran out of the room.

Martin and Ruthie both laughed.

"We better get down there." She whispered sudenly uncomfortable with the situation.

"Yea." He agreed.

They both stood up and Martin walked to the door, Ruthie right behind him.

" I'm just going to put my stuff away and clean up my face a little then I'll be down." She said quietly.

Martin turned around when they got to the door.

"Ok." He pulled Ruthie to him one more time and gave her a hug. Then pulled away, and opend the door.

"Oh and Ruth ... "He turned back to face her. "Thank's."

"For what?" She asked confused.
"Just for being ... you."
"Anytime." She smiled, a little embarrassed.

He saw her smile at him and felt his heart start to pound in his chest, and his knees get weak. He smiled back and turned and walked out the door closing it softly behind him.