Final Fantasy VII: The Story 2nd Instalment
Emerald Princess of Vernea
Chapter Thirty-Nine
"Nibelheim…"
Tifa could barely believe the words as they came out of her mouth. Nor could she believe what she was seeing. The gates of Nibelheim stood right in front of her. She could see the Inn, the well… even old Shinra Mansion on the far side of town. There was a cool breeze on her face, blowing through her dark hair. The wind brought the scent of the mountains into town. Cloud and Yuffie were nearby. Yuffie looked round at the town in disbelief, while Cloud… his face was solemn, almost angry. Tifa looked at him, her hands trembling. This could not be real. It couldn't be…
Tifa was so wrapped up in her thoughts and fears that she did not notice when Yuffie walked past her and peered past the gate into town. "But why Nibelheim?" the ninja was saying, turning back to face Cloud and Tifa. "This is freaky, REALLY freaky!"
Cloud shook his head. "This is an illusion Sephiroth made up," he said. "He's trying to confuse us." Tifa looked at him. Cloud's voice was strangely quiet and sombre. He would not look at Tifa or Yuffie, but continued to look around the town's entrance, taking in everything, placing it over the memories in his mind, and making sure they were right. "It'll be all right," he said, as he looked round. "As long as we know it's an illusion, there's nothing to be afraid of. Come on, let's keep going."
"Yeah, you're right…" said Tifa quietly. She turned on her heel, hoping that if they went backwards, they would leave this horrible illusion behind. She did not want to see Nibelheim anymore. If they left now, then Cloud wouldn't… As she turned, she stopped and gasped. "Look!!" she cried, pointing.
A figure was walking up the path. He stepped out of the cloudy haze that hid the path behind them and into the light. It was Sephiroth. The soldier walked up to the town entrance, taking no notice of the three who waited anxiously on either side of the gate. Yuffie twitched uneasily, her fingers flexing as she gripped her shuriken tightly. Tifa and Cloud did nothing, but simply watched as Sephiroth walked right up to them, stopping just before he reached the gate. Without looking at them, the soldier turned and looked back down the path.
"All right, let's go," he said.
Everyone turned to face the path as three more figures began to emerge from the haze. The first two were Shinra soldiers, just as Cloud remembered them. The first stopped and looked around the town entrance. The second soldier stopped by the broken down truck, looking around anxiously, his face invisible through his helmet. He seemed nervous. First mission, perhaps? Cloud couldn't remember.
The third figure stepped out. Cloud had half-expected his sixteen-year-old self to step out of the haze, anxious about being home for the first time in two years, yet also excited that he was working alongside the greatest swordsman the planet had ever known. But, Cloud reminded himself, this was one of Sephiroth's illusions…
As he had suspected, it was not him who walked between the two Shinra soldiers. It was a different man, taller than Cloud and a good couple of years older than he was. He had a head of spiky black hair that swept across his head and ran down his shoulders. He had strong features, dark eyes, and had an air of confidence that Cloud envied. Strapped across the man's back was the Buster Sword… Cloud's sword. The dark-haired man stood close to Sephiroth and looked round at the town.
Yuffie stared at the dark-haired man. She looked over at Cloud, then at Sephiroth, and the two Shinra soldiers. Shaking her head, she said, "Huh---! Cloud's not here."
Cloud stared at the scene before him, saying nothing. Sephiroth was trying to confuse him, he was sure. He kept telling himself that this was all an illusion—that it wasn't real. The dark-haired soldier, dressed in the same outfit Cloud wore now, was just an illusion. Cloud knew the truth. He remembered it clearly. The people in front of them began to speak, though no sounds passed through their lips. The dark-haired man gestured somewhat familiarly, and Sephiroth responded.
Tifa, watching Cloud closely, tried to gauge his reaction. Cloud was ignoring the dark-haired man completely, and was instead focusing all his attention on Sephiroth. His face was blank, though his eyes burned almost feverishly. Tifa bit her lip. She looked down, closing her eyes tightly. "Stop… Sephiroth," she pleaded softly.
"This is so stupid…" said Cloud angrily.
He wanted to look away and make this illusion stop, but he could not take his eyes off Sephiroth. As he watched Sephiroth began to laugh, like he remembered, with his hand lightly over his mouth to try and stop the laughter. While he laughed there was a flash of light, and all of a sudden Sephiroth, the two soldiers, and the dark-haired man vanished. Yuffie twisted her head round, but could not see them anywhere. While she looked around Tifa turned to Cloud, her face full of concern.
"Cloud…" she said, speaking softly. "It's just an illusion. Don't worry about it."
"I don't want it to be an illusion!" Yuffie shouted angrily. She stamped her foot, kicking up dirt so real it scuffed her boots. "Let's get back to the real world."
As she spoke the white light descended upon them again. The vision of Nibelheim shimmered and faded from view, leaving the three standing once more in an empty world of white. They felt the earth beneath their feet, although they were unable to see it. Cloud shifted uncomfortably on the unseen ground, feeling just a little bit fearful over what Sephiroth might show them next.
"What's---next?" he asked hesitantly.
"Stop it already!!" yelled Tifa.
After a few moments the light began to fade and the three looked around to see where they were. Cloud was not surprised to find them in Nibelheim once again, although this time they were standing high above the town. They stood on the air itself, looking down at the town centre. It almost felt as though they were watching a drama on television, watching as the events unfolded before them.
Nibelheim was on fire. Every building in the town was blazing, with flames licking out of every window and every doorway. As they watched a nearby roof caved in, falling into a burning chasm that was once somebody's home. Here and there bodies were scattered about. They were the bodies of the people of Nibelheim, who had died trying to escape their burning homes. The well in the middle of town was ablaze, sending a pillar of smoke spiralling into the air. The smoke drifted past the three as they looked down at the town. The taste of burning ash filled their mouths. The only building left untouched was Shinra mansion, standing like a shadow over the town.
Yuffie leaned over, her hands on her knees, and gazed down at the town. As she saw the endless sea of flames bursting forth from the houses, her jaw fell open. She had never seen anything like it. Instantly she regretted doubting Cloud when they saw Nibelheim last. "Wow……" she breathed. "I didn't know it was THIS bad…"
"…This is what actually happened five years ago," said Cloud. He looked over the burning town. "But… It's probably not going to be me that's going to come running out of the Shinra mansion. He's going to try and show us another stupid illusion."
Everyone's eyes turned to the Shinra mansion. One of the mansion's double doors was thrown open and a man ran outside. It was the dark-haired man from the Nibelheim entrance. Cloud watched, not in the least surprised, as he ran down the path toward the gates. "See… didn't I tell you?" he said with a sigh.
The dark-haired man paused at the edge of the gates. His mouth hung open, completely stunned by what he was seeing. He walked forward, slowly at first, toward the edge of the flames. When he could feel the heat of the flames burning against his skin he stopped and looked around at the devastation. The light of the flames reflected off his face and eyes.
"Hey, it's you! You're still sane, right?"
The dark-haired man, and the three spectators above, turned toward the shop. Tifa gasped and her heart ached as she saw Zangan, her old martial arts master, standing by the shop's entrance. An injured boy, badly burned, lay at his feet. He looked dead. She stared at Zangan. Her old master… the one who taught her all she knew about fighting and martial arts… He had been in Nibelheim that day. After everything that happened, she never saw Zangan again. Seeing him now made her heart ache. The dark-haired man nodded, and Zangan motioned for him to come over. "Then come over here and help me!"
The dark-haired man did as he was told. He jumped over the flames and ran over to where Zangan stood. After looking down at the dying boy Zangan looked up briefly, allowing Tifa to see his face. The fighter choked, her lips trembling and tears welling in her eyes. Crossly she bit her lip and turned away, unable to watch it any more.
"I don't want to… watch this," she said, close to sobbing. She grabbed hold of Cloud's arm, her head on his skin, and shook her head. "Cloud… don't watch."
The dark-haired man turned away from Zangan and looked around at the burning town. He saw the flames licking out of every doorway. He looked left and saw one of the Shinra soldiers that accompanied him and Sephiroth to Nibelheim, lying unconscious near a burning house. The man shook his head. It was hopeless.
"I'll check this house," said Zangan, drawing the dark-haired man's attention again. The martial arts master pointed to the house near the fallen Shinra soldier. "You check that one over there!" Without a moment's hesitation he turned and ran into the blazing shop, disappearing into the flames.
Cloud looked down at Tifa, surprised at the way she clung to his arm. "…What's wrong, Tifa?" he asked her. "I told you before, right? As long as we know that it's just an illusion, there's no need to be scared."
The scenery flashed, and the three abruptly found themselves standing in the middle of the burning town. The dark-haired man had gone, but the fallen Shinra soldier and the dead boy remained. They could feel the burning heat of the flames as they stood in the midst of the destruction. Yuffie looked around in shock, horrified by what she was seeing. She spotted the boy lying limp by the shop and ran over to him.
"He… hey, are you alright!?" she called. She knelt beside the boy and made to feel his pulse. As her hand touched his flesh, his body shimmered and her hand passed straight through. Yuffie stared at her hand, startled, before she realised what it was. "Oh, a dream!" she exclaimed, blushing as she turned back. "But it felt so real…"
Until that point, Cloud had been standing with his arms folding, tapping his finger impatiently on his arm. Now he stepped forward and looked at the smoke-filled sky. He called out to Sephiroth, his voice loud and piercing against the crackling flames.
"Sephiroth! I know you're listening! I know what you want to say!" Cloud shook his head. "That I wasn't in Nibelheim five years ago. That's it, isn't it?"
The air around them flashed as Sephiroth appeared in front of them. The beginnings of a smirk played on his long, pale face. His eyes, glowing with the power of the mako that filled them, glinted in the firelight. "I see you finally understand," he said.
Cloud walked toward Sephiroth, his eyes held in Sephiroth's shrewd gaze. "What you are saying is that you want to confuse me, right?" the ex-SOLDIER demanded harshly. "But… even making me see those things won't affect me. I remember it all. The heat of the fire… the pain in my body… and in my heart!"
The smile on Sephiroth's face grew wider. He shook his head. "Oh, is that so?" he said, his voice deliberately calm. "You are just a puppet… You have no heart… and cannot feel any pain… How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being? What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion."
The two locked gazes. The corner of Cloud's mouth twitched and he clenched his fists tightly, as though he was having difficulty controlling his anger. Sephiroth spoke so calmly and so sardonically it infuriated him. He was sorely tempted to draw his sword right there and then, but something stopped him. Swallowing his anger, he unclenched his fists and shrugged. It didn't matter. It was all lies, anyway. What was the point in getting angry over meaningless lies?
"Cloud…" came Tifa's voice.
Sephiroth interrupted her. "…Do you understand?" he asked.
"I don't want to understand," said Cloud. He turned away, his blood beginning to pound painfully inside his head. "But," he added, glancing at Sephiroth through the corner of his eye. "I want to ask you one thing. Why… Why are you doing this?"
Sephiroth's body flashed and vanished. He re-emerged a second later in front of Cloud, standing by the wall of flames in between Yuffie and Tifa. The young ninja and the fighter, startled by his sudden reappearance and how close was to them, jumped up and ran over to stand behind Cloud. The smile on Sephiroth's face widened further, and a chuckle escaped his lips.
"I want to take you back to your real self," said Sephiroth when he suppressed the laughter. "The one who gave me the Black Materia that day… Who would have ever thought a failed experiment would prove so useful? Hojo would die if he knew."
"Hojo!?" Cloud exploded. "What does he have to do with me!?"
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and looked at Cloud. He seemed amused by the young man's anger. His eyes glinted in the firelight as he explained. "Five years ago you were… …constructed by Hojo, piece by piece, right after Nibelheim was burnt," he said. "A puppet made up of Jenova cells, her knowledge, and the power of the Mako. An in-complete Sephiroth clone. Not even given a number. …That is your reality."
"Cloud…" He looked up as Tifa stepped in front of him. "Don't listen to him…" she begged. Looking down, she shook her head vigorously, sending her brown hair flying across her face. "Close your ears! Close your eyes!"
"What's wrong, Tifa?" said Cloud. "I'm not affected by it. …I wasn't paying attention."
He was lying. She knew it. He was listening, though he didn't know it. The words were playing in his mind—she could see it as plainly in his eyes as she could see him in front of her. In desperation she grabbed his arms, forcing him to face her, to pay attention to her. He had to concentrate on what she was saying and not Sephiroth.
"All that talk of Hojo constructing you is a lie," she said. She looked up into Cloud's eyes. "Don't we have our memories together? Being kids together, starlit nights…" Her eyes fell. Her hands fell to her sides. She trembled.
Behind her, Tifa could hear Sephiroth start to laugh. "Ha, ha, ha… Tifa…" he said in his cool, knowing tone. "Why are you so worried and scared by those words?" Biting her lip in anger, Tifa turned her head away and refused to acknowledge him. Seeing her stubborn refusal to answer made Sephiroth smile harder. "Hmm… Shall I show everyone here what's in your heart?" Cloud looked down at Tifa. Sensing his gaze, Tifa hurriedly turned away, unable to meet his eyes. Sephiroth also turned away, laughing quietly to himself. "Ha, ha, ha…" she heard him chuckle. "You look like you're not feeling well." He laughed again, vanishing as he did so.
With Sephiroth gone, Cloud turned his attention to Tifa. The young woman was refusing to look at him. All he could see was her hair, tangled and windswept after trekking through the mountains. He reached out to touch her, but let his hand fall.
"…Tifa. Is Sephiroth right?"
"Cloud…"
"Why are you so scared?" he asked her. "Don't worry about me. I'm all right. No matter how confused I am, I'll never believe a word that Sephiroth says." He looked to see her response. Tifa did not say anything. After staring at her for a moment, Cloud lowered his head and looked at the ground. "It's true that sometimes I can't figure out who I am. There's a lot of things muddled up in my memories.
"But, Tifa…… But you said, 'Long time no see, Cloud' right? Those words will always support me. I am the one you grew up with. I am Cloud of Nibelheim. No matter how much I lose faith in myself, that is the truth." In front of him, Tifa let out a faint sob. Cloud looked up at her. "That's why you shouldn't be so scared. No matter what anyone else says to me, it's your attitude that counts…"
"No," said Tifa suddenly. Lifting her head, she turned around to face Cloud. Slowly she shook her head. "That's not true, Cloud……"
"What's not? Aren't I the same Cloud you grew up with?"
"That's not what I mean…" she replied. Tifa rubbed her face hard, half-breathing, half-sobbing through her hands. She spoke through her hands, her voice muffled. "I don't know how to say it… Cloud, I need some time… Just give me a little time…"
But time was not on her side. Even as she pleaded for time the burning buildings of Nibelheim shimmered and Sephiroth reappeared. He now stood on the other side of the wall of flames near to Shinra mansion. His form half-shrouded by the flames, he looked at them with an almost sympathetic face. Almost.
"Cloud…" Sephiroth called over the roar of the flames. "Don't blame Tifa. The ability to change one's looks, voice, and words, is the power of Jenova. Inside of you, Jenova has merged with Tifa's memories, creating you. Out of Tifa's memory…… A boy named Cloud might've just been a part of them."
Before anyone could say anything, Sephiroth vanished again. Cloud stared into the flames, watching as they flickered and licked the air. What Sephiroth was saying… couldn't be real. He had been here five years ago. He was sure of it. The memory of the flames, the pain he felt as he saw his hometown go up in flames… Tifa being struck. That pain was real. It couldn't be… constructed. He couldn't have been… constructed. The throbbing in his mind worsened and he groaned.
"Cloud…" Cloud opened his eyes as he heard Tifa's soft voice beside him, felt her gentle touch on his arm. That touch was the only real thing to him right now. More real than Sephiroth's words. More real than the pain in his head. "Please…" he heard Tifa say to him. "Don't think right now."
"Ha, ha, ha…… Think, Cloud!" Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie spun around to find Sephiroth standing behind them, laughing manically. Suddenly Sephiroth stopped laughing, as though a thought had occurred to him. "…Cloud?" he repeated, looking at the ex-SOLDIER. "Ha, ha, ha…… Oh, excuse me. You never had a name…"
"Shut up… Sephiroth," said Cloud quietly, putting a hand to his hurting head. The anger from his voice was gone. In its place was a strange weariness. Cloud suddenly looked very tired. Tired of fighting… Tired of resisting… Tired of hating.
Sephiroth tilted his head as he gazed at Cloud questioningly. "You still don't understand? Then…" He turned away for a moment, and then turned back. "Do you remember the picture that was took before we headed for Mt. Nibel? …Tifa, you remember, right? But there is no way he would know." Cloud shrugged, while Sephiroth looked around the burning town. "Now… what happened to that picture?"
The soldier looked around for a short time before finally spotted the injured boy lying near the shop. Sephiroth strolled leisurely over to the kid and knelt down beside him. The boy was dead now. The camera was still in his hands, burnt and melting over his hand. The boy clutched a photo in his other hand.
"……Is this it?" Deftly Sephiroth opened up the young boy's ridged fingers and lifted the photo from his grasp. Blowing on it to remove traces of ash, he headed back to Tifa and Cloud. "…Do you want to see it?" he asked. "It turned out pretty good."
"Cloud… don't…" warned Tifa.
Cloud swallowed nervously. His mouth and throat were dry. "I… should be in the picture," he said, his voice faltering. His eyes darted back and forth between Sephiroth and Tifa. "Even if I'm not, no worry. This is all just an illusionary world Sephiroth made up."
Slowly and hesitantly, Cloud walked over to stand by Sephiroth. The much taller soldier towered over him like an overbearing shadow, making him feel small and pathetic next to him. The photo was in Sephiroth's hands, its image hidden by his gloves. When Cloud stopped, the soldier held out the photo. After forcing his hands to quit shaking, Cloud took the photo and looked down at it.
The first person he saw was Sephiroth, standing taller than anyone else on the right of the picture. His face was expressionless, as though he did not really want to be there. Beside him was Tifa, aged just fifteen, with her ever-present smile. She held onto her hat tightly. Standing where he should have been was the dark-haired man again, arms folded and standing confidently at the picture was taken. Cloud… was not in the photo. Gradually Cloud let his hands drop to his sides. The photo slid from his limp fingers and fluttered onto the floor. Sephiroth was gone.
"…Just as I thought," he said. His voice was very low, almost a whisper. When he spoke it was to himself only. "This picture's a fake. The truth is in my memory. …Five years ago, I came back to Nibelheim, to inspect the reactor. I was sixteen. The town hadn't changed at all. What did I do…? Oh yeah… I saw my mom. I saw the people in the town. Yeah, I went to Tifa's room. There, I… I played the piano! I looked in the drawers! I read the letter addressed to Tifa! I spent the night and went to the reactor in Mt. Nibel. I was excited about it. Because that was my first mission after becoming First Class in SOLDIER."
A sharp pain shot through his mind. Cloud winced and touched his temples, shaking his head gently. Unwanted questions began to run through his mind. Questions he could not find the answers to. "…SOLDIER, First Class?" Cloud said, shaking his head again. "…SOLDIER? When did I enter SOLDIER?"
The pain was increasing. Each time Cloud tried to recall the memories he knew should be there, the pain worsened and pushed away the memories he so desperately wanted. A sharp stab of pain hit him behind his eyes and Cloud gasped. He clutched hold of his head, digging his nails harshly into his skin so that he could claw out the memories and drag them to the surface. His body began to shake uncontrollably as more questions came unbidden to his angst-ridden mind.
"How did I join SOLDIER?" he cried. He fell to his knees. His hands eventually drew blood, which slicked down his fingers and hands. "Why… why can't I remember?" He struggled to sit up. "I'm… I'm…"
Suddenly he stopped. He let go of his head—the side of his head dripped with blood clawed by his hands. Shakily he stood up, faltering a little at first but regaining his balance. He did not look at Yuffie or Tifa, who were watching in silence close by.
"……Cloud?" said Tifa.
"Let's go, Tifa. I'm… I'm all right."
Emerald: Cloud-kun!!! T.T You know, it's very hard to write about someone having a nervous breakdown when you've never had one yourself. Not that I want one. XD Anyway, I'm impressed I managed to stretch this for a whole chapter. Next chapter should be the last one, folks! And as to why I chose Yuffie to come along… A) She's my fave female character, and B)I think I forgot to choose someone else. Oh well.