Secret's Lie's & Love

by OthGgC

She was there for him when he needed her the most, they were best friends. But when Martin realizes his feelings for Ruthie go far beyond friendship, will he tell her before it's to late? Or will his fear of getting hurt again, stand in his way?

11. Chapter 11: Late night fight in the park

Chapter 11: Late night fight's
in the park.

They walked for 10 minutes and the rain fell looked at Martin under the umbrella completely dry, and pushed him playfully.
"Hey! What did I do!" He yelled while laughing.
"Look at me!" She stopped walking and pointed to her wet clothes.
He loved it when she was irritated, as a matter of fact, Martin realized that there wasen't anything he didn't Love about this girl. "I asked you if you wanted to get under here, you said 'No' ." He to had stopped walking and was now facing her.
"Well I changed my mind." Was her overly sweet reply.
He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Wow, that's to bad."
Seeing the confused look on her face, Martin smiled. "What do you mean?" She asked him.
He tilted his head to the side, as if he felt sorry for her. "Well I changed my mind to."
"Martin, come on. Please!" She put her head down and stuck her bottom lip out. He looked at her and laughed.
"Fine come here." He took her by her hand without thinking and pulled her to him. Ruthie smiled triumphantly.

They started walking again, but slower then before. They were both suddenly awear of how close to eachother they were.

Ruthie crossed her arm's across her chest, and looked at the sidewalk under her. For some reason all she could think of was how close to Martin she was, and how she wished they could always be like this. ' Why do I feel like this? Everytime he's around I get weak, and I can't breathe. I just want him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be OK. I hate that I want him, I hate that I need him so badly, and I hate that I can't tell him how I feel. ... I'm not like this, I've never been afraid to tell any boy that I like him. But Martin is NOT just any boy, ... he's my best friend, I love him. If I tell him how I feel, and he dosen't feel the same way, ... What would I do? I can't risk losing him. But if I don't tell him, and he find's somebody else, ... I lose him either way. What am I going to do?...' .

Martin looked straight ahead, trying to act as if being so close to Ruthie, didn't make him nervous. But when she accidentally brushed her arm against his, he stumbled, as his knees literally went weak, and gave out on him. Falling to the ground he grabbed onto the first thing that he could find, which happened to be Ruthie.They both hit the ground with a splash.

When Martin saw her Sitting next to him, his eye's grew, and he didn't know what to say.
She looked at him with wide eye's."Wha- ... Why- ... Are you crazy!" Ruthie stammered.
"Oh my god, Ruth I am so sorry! ... I didn't mean to! ..." He looked around the park they had decided to take short cut through, then looked back at Ruthie who was trying to stand up, but was not succeeding because she kept slipping in the mud benith her. Not being able to stop himself he began laughing. "Are - you- Ok?"

Ruthies eye's lit with mock anger. "Your laughing? How is this funny? Now not only am I wet but I'm all ... " She lifted her hand's trying to finish her sentance, but gave up and let them fall to her sides, sending splashes of mud all over Martin's face, he immediately stopped laughing. " dirty." Now she began to laugh.

Martin wiped some of the mud from one of his cheeks, and looked at Ruthie with a playful smile. Which made her stop, and become worried.

"Martin NO!" She knew what he was going to do, and she smiled pleadingly at him. "You wou -" She was cut of by the feeling of the cold mud hitting her. She gave him a shocked look, and smiled. "You are so dead." They began throwing mud at eachother, play fighting, and laughing.

After a few minutes Martin gave up and sat up next to Ruthie, both still laughing. They wiped as much mud from their face's as they could, and tryed to calm down.

He looked over at her and smiled."So, ... how did you get so good at mud fight's?"

Ruthie laughed again "Are you forgetting that I have 4 brother's?" Martin laughed along with her. After calming down a bit, her mind traveled to thoughts of Simon. "So uh, ... have you ... talked to Cecilia?"
Knowing the seriousness of the subject Martin calmed down and looked at Ruthie, and saw how worried she was. "No. Not sense last night."
"Oh." They sat quietly for a few second's, until Ruthie let out a short, sort of sigh/laugh.

"You OK?" He asked softly.
She smiled appreciatively. "Yeah. It's just weird, you know?"
Knowing that she wasen't expecting an answer, Martin just gave a slight nod, and let her continue.
"It's Simon. ... my big brother. He was my best friend for most of my life. You know we used to be able to tell eachother anything? We were always together, always up to something." She smiled at the memories of when they were younger. Martin saw the sad/hurt look on her face, he new how much Ruthie loved Simon, and how close they were, and he new how sad she was when he left to collage."But now ... I'm lucky if I get to say 'Hello' when he calls."
Martin scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her.She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I just wish he would talk to me. ... Everyone treat's me like I'm this little girl still, who can't handle anything, but I'm NOT a little girl anymore.!." She finished defiantly.
Without thinking, Martin said the first thing that came to mind. "I've noticed." Ruthie lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. He quickly tried to fix his mistake. "I mean y-your,- I. ... You know what I mean." She smiled and laid her head back down. Martin mentally kicked himself for his slip-up.
Letting out another short laugh, Ruthie bit her bottom lip. "You probably think I'm a baby, it seems like all I've been doing lately is crying."
Martin shook his head. "No, not even. I mean I think the people who aren't afraid to cry, are more adult then the people who are." He felt her smile grow, which made him smile.
"Your the only person I know who'll talk to me like I'm an adult. ... Thank you." Martin laughed. "What?" She looked up at him again.
"Nothing." She gave him a 'Stop lying' look. "OK, ... well it's just, ... your the only person I know who can make me feel like a kid again." Feeling his cheeks begin to flush he looked down.
"Is that ... a good thing?" She asked hesitantly.
Martin smiled to himself. "Yeah it is." He looked back up, and saw that she was still looking at him. "After my mom died, ... it was just me and my dad, and well ... you've met my Dad. I guess I just grew up faster then I should have." She laid her head down again, but this time scooted a little closer to him and wrapped her arm around him. Martin felt his stomach drop, when she did this.

Accepting his answer, she decided not to go on, and changed the subject. "How is your Dad? Have you talked to him?"
"Yea umm, actually I got an e-mail from him this morning." He pulled away slightly, his body tensing.
Noticing this, Ruthie instantly became worried. "Oh really? How is he?"
"He's ..." Martin bit his lower lip. " did I tell you he was supposed to be back in January?" Ruthie pulled completly away from him so that she could see his face.
The worry quickly faded, and was replaced with a mixture of happiness for Martin, confusion as to why he wasent happier, and what confused Ruthie the most, sadness. "Oh my gosh, Martin that's great!-wait ... was?" The worry was back.

Martin's focus returned to the spot on the ground. "Yea, that's what the e-mail was about. To let me know that he staying longer." His voice was barley loud enough for Ruthie to hear him.
She felt the familiar stinging of tears fill her eye's. "Oh my God, Martin I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around him again, but tighter then before. "How much longer?"
Martin lifted his head, and stared blankly in front of him. "That's the worst part ... he dosen't know." He cleared his throat, and blinked back the tears that stung his eye's.

Ruthie had never seen him cry before, and the thought, that he was hurting bad enough to cry in front of her hurt her more then she thought it should. And before she knew what was happening, she felt the warm drops fall from her eye's and slide down her cheeks. "Martin-" He looked away, not wanting her to see him cry. But she pulled his face back towards her, and looked him in the eye's.
When Martin saw that she was crying, he felt his breath catch, she was crying for him. He felt the wall that he had put up the second he had read the e-mail, crumble. And he let his tears fall free.
Ruthie watched his face closely, and when she saw the first tear fall, her heart broke. "Oh my god." Was all she said, before she moved infront of him, and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I just miss him. The e-mails are great ... but it's just, ... it's not the same. And he just keeps volunteering Ruthie, he dosen't even care that he left me here. I know what he's doing, is helping alot of people, and that I should understand ... but I don't. How can he just leave me here!" Martin said through his tears.
Not knowing what to say Ruthie just hugged him as tight as she could.
"Martin, your Dad loves you. You know that. And he wouldn't leave you here, if he didn't think you could handle it. And it's OK to not understand, you don't have to. Martin he probably thinks, that your just OK with everything, have you told him how you feel?" Ruthie prayed that what she was saying, was OK.
Martin shook his head. "No." Was all he said. He pulled away slowly, and they sat across from eachother. Ruthie held one of his hands in her's. Without realizing it she played nervously with her fingers in the palm of his hand. Martin however did notice, but didn't say anything. The gentle touch of her fingertips sliding around his palm gave him a calm feeling.
"Well maybe you should ..." She said softly.
"It's not that easy Ruth. He's over there fighting in a War, and I'm supposed to do what? Write to him and make him feel bad for doing it? I can't do that, I can't put that guilt on him."
Ruthie sat quietly for a second, thinking about what he was saying. "So your just supposed to hold it all in? You really think that's what he would want you to do?"
Martin shook his head slowly, as if thinking it over. "But I just can't do that to him."
"OK." Ruthie said. Martin looked at her, slightly suprised. "Then you can talk to me. Whenever your feeling depressed, you can just come talk to me, no matter what I'm doing, or what time it is. You just come talk to me OK?"
He had to fight back the urge to kiss her. Instead he just smiled. "Ruth, that's beyond sweet of you, but you don't -"
Ruthie cut him off. "I'm serious Martin. Whenever. OK?" She said a bit more defiantly.
He smiled again. "OK. ... Thank you."
Without warning, she pulled him into another hug.

After a few seconds passed Martin pulled out of Ruthie's embrase, looked around, and smiled.
"What is it?" Ruthie asked curiously.
"It stopped raining." Ruthie looked up at the sky, and started laughing. " I didn't even notice." He finished.
"Yeah neither did I." She looked at him and smiled. "So ... your dad ... is that why you were in such a weird mood today?" She asked carefully.
Martin was a little suprised by the question. "What?"
"Well you kind of ignored me and Mac at the mall. Was it because of your dad?Or was it becasue you just didn't want me there?Becasue if it was about me, you could have just said something. If I would have known that you didn't want me-" Martin put his hand over her mouth.
"Ruthie stop. It wasn't about you. Or my Dad."
She pushed his hand away, and gave him a confused look."Well then what was it? Why ignore me- Wait - was it about Mac?" Martin sighed and stood up.He then took Ruthie's hands in his and pulled her up to her feet. Sticking his hand's in his pocket's he bagan walking, leaving her behind.

A little shocked that he just walked away, Ruthie stared at his retreating form for a second, before she snapped back to reality. "Martin." He kept walking, which slightly angerd Ruthie. "Martin!" She shouted.

He stopped, and slowly turned to face her."What?" He saw her standing with her arm's crossed defiantly across her chest.

"What? Oh come on, you just get up and walk away without answering me, and the best you can come up with is 'What?'. What's going on?" Now she was angry.
Martin sighed. "It's really late Ruth, ... can't we just talk about this later?" He was a little hopeful.
"No. We can talk about it now." She walked over to a bench and sat down. "that ... or you can leave me here."

'She know's I won't leave her here. How am I going to explain this one?I can't tell her the truth. God help me. Please. What do I do?'

He walked slowly over to the bench and sat down next to her.
Ruthie smiled to herself. "What's up?"
Martin felt like he couldn't breathe. 'Here we go.' He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, tying to figure out a way to say what he needed to say. "I lied."
Ruthie felt herself stop breathing for a second. "OK. About what?"
"When I said that it wasn't about you. It was about you ..." She put her head down. "and Mac."

Her head shot up. "What!"
"It's just that sometimes when you two are together, ... you flirt, ... ALOT." She didn't know what to say. She just sat there shocked.'How could he think I flirt with Mac? We are just friend's. ... And even if we weren't ... why does he even care? Oh god please tell me he isn't doing the big brother thing again! I think I'll hit him if he is.'
Deciding that if he was doing the big brother thing, she was going to make him suffer. "And that bother's you?" She streached out the sentance sounding confused.
Martin jumped up off the bench."YES!" 'Oh God, please don't let her tell me that she likes him!'

Ruthie jumped slightly, suprised by his sudden outburst."Why?" She asked carefully.
Martin began to breath heavily."It-It just does!"
She crossed her arm's again. "Well that's just not a good enough reason."
Martin felt the pain that had quickly taken him over, be replaced with anger."FINE YOU KNOW WHAT! GO AHEAD DATE WHO EVER YOU WANT!I HOPE YOU AND MAC OR VINCENT, OR WHOEVER, ARE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER!"

With that he started walking away again.Leaving Ruthie behind to process what had just happend. 'Vincent?'She jumped up off the bench and walked quickly after him. "Vincent! Now you have a problem with HIM! You Don't Even know him!"
He spun around and they stood a few feet away from eachother."I KNOW HE LIKE'S YOU! AND THAT YOU GAVE HIM YOUR PHONE NUMBER!"
Ruthie was suprised by his tone, Martin had never yelled at her like this. But she wasen't going to back down. "And!"
By this point Martin wasen't even thinking before he spoke, he just said what ever words formed, and fell from his mouth.
"AND I DON'T LIKE THAT!"
Honestly confused Ruthie asked the only question that made sese to her. "Why!"
"I DON"T WANT YOU WITH HIM!" Along with losing any sese of thought, Martin apparently had lost sese of voice volume. He was yelling very loud.
"Why Not!" Ruthie yelled, just as loud.
"BECAUSE HE'S NOT ME!"

"Silence..."