Man's Best Friend

Chapter Three:

A Werewolf Mistake

Song:

"The Scientist"

By: Coldplay

The fifth year's Gryffindor dorm was a huge mess. One couldn't even walk in without tripped over something. There were clothes, socks, and robes spewed about the floor, books piled haphazardly on night tables under alarm clocks, wands, and assorted quills. The four poster-beds looked regal with their red-and-gold sheet sets but the curtains were a mess and the beds unmade. Shoved in a corner were two big boxes and an old trunk. The boxes said "Zonkos" and "Honeydukes" on them, respectively, and the trunk, well nobody knew what was in there except the occupants of the dorm, and the occupants of the dorm had no intention of telling anybody. All in all it looked like a hurricane had passed through this room, and it was abandoned like there had been one too.

All except for one sixteen-year-old boy with elegant black hair and a handsome, aristocratic olive-colored face. He laid in the wide windowsill on his back his head up against the side of the wall and his knees up in order to fit the entirety of his body into the small space.

A small, haunted grin flitted across his face as he remembered his first year when both he and James were able to fit in this little space and would stay up and talk about Quidditch, hexes, and Defense Against the Dark Arts long after Peter and Remus had gone to sleep on night's when they hadn't felt like going exploring.

They had both grown up so much.

The slight grin went away as quickly as it had came, though, and Sirius sighed and adjusted himself slightly in order to stop the pain that was radiating from his neck in this uncomfortable position.

It was very odd for this dorm to be empty this early on a Saturday morning. It was only nine AM, Sirius reckoned he hadn't seen the light of day this early in the morning on a Saturday since he was ten years old.

Also odd, that Sirius was awake, and not in the company of James Potter or either of the other two cronies that resided in this dorm.

They all most likely hated him now, though.

He was still in his school uniform, save the robes, and his white shirt was wrinkled and his pants dirty and grimy and his tie hung loosely and limply from his neck. However, it seemed like ages ago that he had put his uniform on, fresh and neatly pressed and clean. Even though it had only been twenty-four hours ago, he felt as if years had passed between Friday and Saturday morning.

Sirius rubbed his bloodshot eyes and rolled halfheartedly out of the windowsill. He was not yet ready to face their hurt, angry faces, but what was he going to do? This was not a problem that could be solved by running away from it, or by hexing it into oblivion.

He kicked piles of clothes and other assorted junk aside in search of something to put on his feet. In the process, he ended up kicking a large textbook and screamed and cursed aloud in pain. In fact, he ended up ranting all his insanely angry emotions at the textbook. From the outside, it would probably look as if he'd completely lost his marbles, but there was no one else he could yell at.

He was angry with himself, after all.

Finally, he found some flip-flops and he trudged down to the Common Room and out into the corridors towards the Hospital Wing.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

Sirius ran his hand through his hair anxiously as made his way awkwardly down the hall.

What a great day yesterday had started off as. It was the last day of O.W.L's and after that they'd have two full weeks of term left without having anything to do except prank and party. What a wonderful world it was, indeed.

The last test had gone wonderfully, of course, he hadn't been expecting anything different. He was brilliant, after all.

'Yeah, brilliant enough to forget it was a full moon and go off and get drunk with James,' He thought to himself bitterly and then balled his wand hand up in a fist and slammed it against the brick walls of Hogwarts with a resounding CRACK.

It didn't make him feel any better, though as he contemplated over and over again,

'How could I have been that stupid?'

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you

Tell you I set you apart

He had finally made his way to the Hospital Wing and he went to open the door, but then Sirius paused, hand clasped on the doorknob, an uncharacteristic look of sick apprehension on his face.

He really didn't want to have to face one of his best friends after having betrayed them. It was cowardly and wicked and he knew it, but Sirius couldn't seem to wrench that door open. It would mean having to face what he did. It would mean having to look one of his oldest and closest friends in the eye and tell him how much of an asshole he was after spending years trying to get the poor kid to trust him. It would mean he would have to admit what he did was wrong. It would mean having to put himself out there, put his emotions out there and not know what was going to happen. It would mean he would probably have his insides torn to shreds.

It would mean that the infamous Sirius Black, who danced around punishments, charmed his way out of losing points, who always found some way to put the blame on someone else, would have to take responsibility for his actions.

Sirius Black would have to apologize and hope to God it would be enough.

He shook his head…that would require a lot of maturing in a few short moments that he really, really, in his own mind, wasn't ready for.

But, what other choice did he have? None. He fucked up, and now it was time to face the consequences. And with a deep breath, he pushed the door (which seemed unusually heavy) open.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions

I'm going back to the start

"Ah, hello Mr. Black," said Madame Promfrey quietly, "I trust you know where to find him, then?" Sirius nodded mutely and Madame Promfrey nodded curtly and walked quickly away.

Sirius sighed. Word must have gotten around about the incident then. Madame Promfrey was usually so nice and sweet to him, and always had enough time and courtesy to ask how he was. This may have had something to do with his flirtations with her, but he decided to reserve judgment on that. He was just a charming guy, really.

Flip Flop Flip Flop, Sirius winced every time the back end of the flip flops (they weren't even his come to think of it, they seemed like James') hit the tiles unnaturally loudly and made a horribly annoying 'thwacking' sound.

"Why the hell is it always so quiet in this place, anyway?" He asked himself angrily.

"Dunno, maybe 'cause there's sick people trying to heal," Came the bitter answer from behind a stark, white curtain.

Sirius winced again, as if the voice had shouted at him, and cautiously pulled back the curtain as if the person was going to rip it out of his hands any second.

Remus Lupin, however, didn't even budge. He sat, tense and upright, on the edge of the bed, his back turned firmly away from Sirius and he was looking intensely out the window.

"Uh…" Sirius rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Really, how did people go about apologizing anyway? It was so…unnatural. "Hey Moony."

Remus didn't even look at him, just heaved a great sigh, as if he knew what Sirius was going to do, but was going to let the both of them suffer through the weirdness anyway,

"What are you doing here, Black?"

Sirius winced again, as if he had been dealt a heavy blow. This was going to be harder then he thought. And to think, Remus was always the "forgiving" type.

Running in circles, coming up tails

Heads on a silence apart

"What's the matter, too much to drink, Padfoot? Hungover after another one of your great adventures with Prongs? You're eyes are bloodshot and you're recoiling at every word I say, Sirius, even though I haven't raised my voice a notch. I've seen you hung over enough times to know the symptoms, so don't even shake your head at me."

"No…but that's not it…it's just…"

"Just what Sirius? You really screwed me over last night, and if it wasn't for James I would probably be in a cell in Azkaban right now, and guess what, it's all your fault. Well no, never mind, don't flatter yourself. It's my fault for not realizing that you were about as trustworthy a friend as fuckin' Snape." He finished his statement just as calmly as he had started it, but the flat, disappointed, bitter tone in his voice hurt Sirius even more then yelling would have. Remus had yelled at him before, and Sirius had easily acquired forgiveness. If Remus had yelled it would have meant there was room for forgiveness. Now he just sounded sad, older even.

Sadder and wiser.

Sirius kicked the nightstand out of exasperation, but then hastily picked it up after it went clattering to the floor.

"Have you run out of people to blame your screw-ups on, then? Regressing to inanimate objects?"

Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said the start it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

"Listen, Remus, just hear me out okay?"

Lupin didn't make any move to face him but didn't say anything to contradict what Sirius said, so Sirius sat down cautiously on the other side of the bed. Remus still didn't react. Sirius, feeling slightly cheered at this, began to swing his legs over to face Remus, but at that point he grunted something indecipherable, and Sirius, realizing that that was pushing it, quickly sat back-to-back with him again.

"I'm sorry…I could have completely screwed up your whole life with that one little action and I know it. And there are no words on Earth to describe how bad I feel about that, there really aren't. 'Sorry' doesn't even come close, but that's the only word I know of…And I'll understand completely if you never forgive me, or hate me forever, and I know you'll never trust me again, but I just want to explain something to you…so you know it wasn't out of malice or vindictiveness that I did this to you…not to say it makes it any less my fault, it is, all my fault, but God, Remus, I didn't do it to deliberately make a big mess of things for you, I didn't do it to hurt you, I never would do anything to deliberately hurt one of my friends…It's just, well, we had just finished our last O.W.L, that is to say, James and I, and we were both a bit...err…excited, knowing that we both aced it and so we decided to go down to the kitchens and celebrate, ya know? Well, we were going to invite you and Peter but Peter was all holed up in his dorm and was going over the exam, and you were nowhere to be found…you see…" Sirius paused and had the grace to look sheepish and embarrassed "We forgot that tonight was the full moon and you would be in the Hospital Wing getting ready, so anyway, we went down to the kitchens, and we were just kicking around some butterbeers when James asked in jest for some oak-matured mead and firewhiskey. Well, as it turns out…" Here, Sirius inserted a nervous and awkward laugh, "The house-elves do have that stuff, and were more then willing to give us it. So...we…uh, were drinking it, and eating pumpkin pasties and uh…other stuff, I don't really remember what, and to be quite honest, we had much to drink then we should have and James, well, passed out cold eventually. Me being able to hold my liquor better then him, I was just sort of sitting around when Sniv-I mean Snape came sauntering into the room like he was all-powerful God, when quite obviously he is not, but anyway, he noticed James first and then saw me, and the bottle of mulled mead that we had positively drained, and lit up like a kid in a candy store. He was obviously going to report us…but no, he couldn't just stop at that, he started taunting me about my family and all the shit that's simple wrong with my life and how I had to actually mooch off of someone else's parents in order to not be living on the streets and I might have said something back, I don't remember, and then next thing you know he's throwing all these curses at me, and you know, my reaction time isn't as good when I'm drunk off my ass, and well, I got hit by a couple and got totally pissed off. I knew he was going to report us for drinking, and suddenly I remembered you had a full moon. My immediate thought was to help you, but I couldn't rightly change into Aniamgus form with Snape up my ass and me completely wasted. I needed to get out of there somehow and at least sober up to meet you at the Hospital Wing the next morning. But then Snape did something really awful, he cursed Expelliarmus on James, who was as I said passed out, so James sort of like...flew into the wall and it practically cracked his head open. And that's really horrible Remus, even you have to admit it-the most fucking cowardly action I have ever seen in my life, but anyway, he was saying horrible stuff about him and Lily, of all people, who tried to help the goddamn prat, so I just kind of...lost it, and I figured you know...it was be a funny joke if he saw where we actually went off to once a month, scare the pants off of him, maybe shut him up about all our flaws for a while, but...it didn't work out that way…it was stupid of me. Probably the most stupid thing I've ever done in my life…and…

I'm Sorry."

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling your puzzles apart

"Well at least James had enough common sense to go save me…even whilst hung over and with a slight concussion" Remus said amicably, and this made Sirius feel even worse.

"I know, it was really stupid of me. I just didn't-"

"Think before you acted, Sirius, yes I know" Remus sounded exasperated at this point, "You never did think before you acted and I'm beginning to wonder at this point if you ever will."

"But, Moony...I'm sorry!"

"I KNOW you're sorry, GODDAMNITT!" Remus raised his voice for the first time all morning, and Sirius jumped off the bed in horror, "But sorry isn't always going to cut it." Remus looked up for the first time and saw the look of pure terror on Sirius' face and sighed heavily, before continuing on much more gently and patiently, " Look, Sirius, I know you didn't mean it, I know you wouldn't deliberately try and mess up my life this way, but you did. And for now, sorry is okay because I know you are sorry, and no real big harm was done, Dumbledore said Snape will never say a word and I can stay at school. But really, Sirius, how many more close shaves will there be before someone really does get hurt? Killed? Sent to Azkaban? Expelled? Are you just going to keep at this trail of self and others destruction until something finally gives? Because something's gotta give Sirius and I personally don't want to be the one it gives out on, especially since the majority of the time, it's been me that officially covers your ass. James seemed to take over that position last night, but you can't just permanently rely only our friends to straighten your shit out. You just can't, Sirius."

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

There was a long pause where neither of the pair said anything, and the amount of tension that had amassed the room left nothing but a horrible buzzing sound between Sirius' ears. After what seemed like ages, or hours at least, Sirius figured that Moony was done with Sirius for the day, and so, he slowly stood up, pulling himself out of the tension-filled trance he was in and walked slowly towards the door. He paused with his hand on the door, unable to bring himself back to the realms of normalcy, where every other student was lazing about in the bright sunshine, with no worries or concerns.

"Sirius…I do forgive you...and I still will be your friend. You just need to grow up, a bit, I think, and realize that there are a lot more dangers then you've realized so far to your reckless behavior."

At that, Sirius became rather angry and walked out the door, slamming it loudly behind him.

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start

'Honestly. As if Remus has any right to judge character. Yes, he's right I shouldn't have done it. But really, I didn't mean to do this to him.' He thought to himself as he stormed down the halls towards his dorm. Privately, he realized this probably would have been easier if Remus hadn't forgiven him right away. It made Remus seem weak; to give his trust back to Sirius so soon after Sirius screwed him over. And as a rule, Sirius hated the weak and the cowardly.

Running in circles, chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

After moodily telling the portrait at Gryffindor tower the password, Sirius went up to his dorm and collapsed onto his four-poster. His sub-conscious mind and his reasonable mind argued back and forth as to whether Remus just said that last bit because he was the most boring spiteful person on Earth, or because he genuinely cared about Sirius and his well being.

'What the hell is everyone's problem anyway? Half the fun of being a teenager is getting to live a little, is it not? I mean, yes, that was over the top and I acknowledge that, but jeez, that speech was reminiscent of a McGonogall lecture!'

He kicked off his flip-flops and situated himself on the bed as if it were a throne and he the king, and furrowed his brows. He really did feel bad about Remus, and there was no doubt he was sorry, it was just…damnitt, being good sounded so boring! He wasn't sure he was ready to give that up just yet. There had to be a way to keep pranking his enemies without hurting his friends…

Nobody said it was easy, Oh it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard

Sirius sighed. This whole growing up thing really sucked. Why couldn't he just be fourteen again, when pranking Snivelly with minor things was just so much more fun, and exploring the castle was still the biggest adventure he needed, and Quidditch was way more important then hot girls?

Why couldn't life just be fun like it used to be, for God's sake?

I'm going back to the start