Man's Best Friend

by BlackRose89

The Maruader's were truly legends of their time. They roamed through Hallowed Hogwarts halls and became the heroes of their generation. The most mysterious, though, was the dark, broodingly beautiful Sirius Black. A series of oneshot songfics that tell th

4. Parties Are Almost as Much fun as Pranks

Man's Best Friend

Chapter 4

"Parties are Almost as Much Fun as Pranks"

Song: Welcome to the Jungle

By: Guns 'n' Roses

There was mounting excitement in the air as Christmas approached. At Hogwarts, the staff and House-Elves were working their very hardest to give the place a properly festive look. Professor McGonogall, though, had been noticing something odd. It seemed to her that the Seventh Years, especially the seventh-year Gryffindors, were a bit…too excited about the oncoming holiday. In fact, they were more excited then the first years, and those hyperactive midgets tended to agitate her much more then Sirius Black at this time of year. Minerva sighed and rolled her eyes remembering today's NEWT Transfiguration class where Sirius had hexed Severus to sing and dance to Christmas Carols…it had taken her nearly fifteen minutes of class time to sort that whole mess out. She supposed she wouldn't have been so annoyed if it weren't for the fact that Sirius was so amazingly intelligent. And he did absolutely no work, he just had it naturally, and although she would never admit it in a lifetime, he was damn charming, too.

And so, one evening after classes had ended, precisely three days before Christmas vacation, Professor McGonogall went to the Headmaster's Office to voice her concerns to Dumbledore. However, he just smiled with those stupid, twinkling eyes of his, and, after offering her a lemon drop, told her,

"I really don't see any real reason for concern, Minerva. If there is something planned, I'm sure it will all be in good fun and jest…yes, I know there have been instances where there has been some real harm done at the hands of our seventh years, four in particular of course, but trust me when I say, one of them has done some much needed growing up and has managed to keep the second one in check throughout the year, and I daresay I am impressed." Professor Dumbledore paused and looked over his glasses at McGonogall to make sure she digested this information properly. Professor McGonogall nodded curtly and signaled for him to continue, "My dear Professor, you must remember what it is like to be young. There are few people in this dangerous world that we live in today who have the right to be innocent and live a little, so I must insist that we let them do that while they still have a chance," Dumbledore smiled a little, "and, as one wise yet very loud and rowdy band once said, 'The kids are alright'."

McGonogall sighed and shook her head in faux exasperation, all the while smiling at Dumbledore's odd interests, "Well, I hope the kids ARE alright, for your sake and mine."

"Oh, not to worry," replied Dumbledore airily, "Whatever happens, they're out of our hair in six months time anyway, and then they'll be unleashed unto the world."

"That is a very frightening thought."

"Indeed. So now, if you don't mind, it is rather late, and an old man needs all the sleep he can get, so I do bid you good-night."

"Goodnight Albus," and Minerva took her leave, slightly reassured, slightly horrified, and slightly confused.

It seemed that was the case every time she sought advice from Albus Dumbledore.

Once safely assured that Minerva had exited the room, Professor Dumbledore pulled out a flier, which was a gaudy shade of gold, and flashed four faces in the background over and over again. Dumbledore chuckled; these four never particularly saw the point in the Golden rule of humility. It read:

Messrs.

Potter, Black, Lupin & Pettigrew

Invite YOU!

(Unless you're a Slytherin, in which case this letter will blow up in your hands and hopefully singe your eyebrows off while it's at it)

To the Christmas Party of the Century!

There will be fun, games,

(And we're not talking about Exploding Snap)

Loud music, and lots of really great…

Party Decorations.

(Did you think we were going to say drinks? Come on, we're not stupid.)

Theme: Summer Wonderland

(It's a play on words for all you imbeciles.)

This theme also means you're supposed to wear summer clothes,

A.K.A: Not a lot of them

Bikinis are welcome!

Time: 10 PM-???

Meet on the Seventh Floor right outside the tapestry of Baranbas

(It's a picture of a ballet-dancing hippo…or some large animal, we can't remember.)

Hosted By: The four most amazing guys in Hogwarts

Hope to see you there!

Dumbeldore's eyes twinkled merrily as he wrote himself a reminder to keep Argus Filch away from the Room of Requirement the night before break began and to "wander" past the room a few times himself during the night just to be sure they weren't doing anything too stupid.

Welcome to the jungle
We got fun 'n' games

"Moony, what are you doing?" Asked a red-faced and out-of-breath Sirius, "We already agreed that this wasn't going to be a 'Remus Lupin type of party.' That means no games of Exploding Snap. We're here to pick up chicks, remember?"

Remus laughed dryly. "Padfoot, sometimes I wonder how you can so grossly underestimate my creativity. I know what this party is all about, and as I've told you multiple times, I've decided that, at seventeen going on eighteen years old, it's time to let loose and have a little fun before we have to graduate and all."

"Well, finally, took you long enough to come around, but I still don't understand why the table and chairs are set up for a game of Exploding Snap."

"I was getting to that, if you'd let me finish," Remus sent death glares towards Sirius as he threw his hands up in an 'I'm innocent' look. "In the world of Muggles it's called 'Strip Poker.' But since most people here don't know how to play poker, I've decided to use the game of Exploding Snap. I've charmed the game so that if you lose a round, instead of it exploding in people's faces, and thereby making said faces unattractive, it forces the loser to part with an item of his or her clothing. I'm hoping that the female population will be in the mood to play, of course, especially since they're supposed to be arriving with little clothing on already."

Sirius smiled broadly and gave Remus a clap on the back, "Moony, I think you just might be a genius."

Remus smiled wryly, "So I've been told."

We got everything you want
Honey we know the names

Sirius stepped back and admired his…well, mostly Remus' and James' work. The Room of Requirement looked as if it were a beach in the Caribbean. There was about an inch of sand covering most of the floor (just enough to be cute, not enough to be annoying) except for one large rectangular area that was obviously a dance floor, made from bamboo. There were palm trees stationed in each corner of the room with little candlelit (the candles were in coconuts) tables for two (also made out of bamboo, the table skirts looking like the skirts of hula dancers.) There was a slightly larger table off to the side that was charmed to look like a real gambling table from the casinos. Steel-drum music floated down from somewhere in the ceiling ('how'd they manage that one?' Sirius wondered) and right, smack in the middle of the dance floor, was Sirius' pride and joy, his own personal work of art. A circular, bamboo bar with stools and palm tress leaves as the ceiling, with real muggle drink mixers and blenders (not that he intended to use those, but it looked cool.) It had taken him the better part of three hours (okay, so he skived off his afternoon classes today, but honestly, who didn't the day before break?) to complete.

At that moment, James, already in board shorts and well, nothing else, strode over to him. "You got the booze?" He asked pointing to the stack of cardboard boxes piled at Sirius' feet.

"Yep, relatively easy trip too, if I do say so myself. Everyone seemed to be in such a good mood, no one noticed I left Hogwarts or wasn't supposed to be in Hogsmeade or anything."

"Awesome," James looked at the clock on the wall and rubbed his hands together excitedly.

"Guys, I think it's time to open up the doors. Peter, you go to the doors, you'll be the bouncer, stay there for about an hour, no Slytherins or people under fifteen allowed. If you have any problems, just call Sirius or me. After an hour or two, you can close the doors and come in to enjoy the party. Sirius, as we discussed, you're bartender for the night." Remus came over, looking stern, "But our dearest mommy Remmie has informed me that he will only give this party his blessing if we agree on some rules." The trio sighed and rolled their eyes simultaneously at each other, along with an annoyed snarl from Sirius. "You're only allowed to serve alcohol to sixth years and up, fifth years are only allowed butterbeer. If they don't like it, they can get the hell out, they should consider themselves extremely lucky they're even invited. No one is allowed more then five hard drinks" There was another groan from Sirius and Remus interjected,

"Sorry Sirius, but we do have to take some precautions. Besides, with four or five alcoholic beverages in them, most girls will be just drunk enough to agree to almost anything a guy says, but not drunk enough to start puking or anything." Sirius nodded knowledgeably.

"And the bar will be closing after 11:30 to assure everyone has time to at least slightly sober up before the party ends…That all Remus?"

"Yep, you've got the all-clear from me." James and Sirius smiled and yelled simultaneously at Peter, who was hovering near the doors,

"All right, time to open up!"
Peter laughed at the sheer pompousness and ridiculous over-the-top manner of the whole operation, and opened the doors, preparing to be barraged as if he was the bouncer at Studio 54 or something.

We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money honey
We got your disease

James, playing the role of charming host, welcomed the people as they came in and pointed them towards the bar and the tables. Sirius was all smiles, mixing up drinks and chatting easily with Remus and the girls that came in. Then, suddenly, Lily walked in, or rather, in James' mind, graced him with her presence, in a simple but very pretty green sundress and matching flip-flops. Sirius laughed under his breath and signaled to Remus.

"I think we're going to need you to take over role of 'Host' for the time being" He smiled and pointed towards one of the tables, where James and Lily were sitting, looking pretty cozy. Remus rolled his eyes and smiled, abandoning his Butterbeer for a position just inside the room.

Sirius, scheming in order to help his best friend out with his whole "unrequited love" problem, took two butterbeers and put a shot of vodka in each, and exited the bar area, walking over to Lily and James' table.

"Here you are, one for Prongs, and one for the lady," he said, smiling suavely at them both. James looked up at him curiously and Sirius just winked as Lily took a small, dainty sip and smiled up at him,

"I thought you were supposed to be bartender, tonight, Sirius?"

"Yeah, well, I decided that you two both needed a drink, and seeing as how this was all James' idea and all, I decided he could get special privileges, and of course, this includes his girl as well."

"Excuse me, but I'm not HIS girl, Sirius, darling," Lily said, smiling evilly at him.

"Well, it's close enough at this point," Sirius retorted quickly. Lily blushed and James choked on his Butterbeer. Sirius quickly punched him a few times on the back, at which point Lily burst into laughter.

"Look, Prongsie, I just saved your life, AND I got you two drinks, I think I definitely deserve a sixth Firewhiskey."

"Well, you'll have to talk to Remus about that one, Padfoot, although I wouldn't just now, he's chatting up some cute blonde."

"Hey" said Lily suddenly.

James looked horrified. "Lilykins, darling, I'll always think you're the most gorgeous girl on the face of this planet. She's nothing compared to you!" Sirius started to laugh at this point, which he quickly turned into a hacking cough, so as to avoid a pummeling from James. Ever since James had realized that he wouldn't get Lily like the way he got the rest of his girlfriends (by being arrogant and semi-suave) he had been a bit…anxious to please.

"Wha-? No, I was just going to ask why you four were wearing matching board shorts."

"'Cause we're way cooler then anyone else here," Sirius quipped amicably.

"Well, if you ask me, it looks kind of gay."

"Wha!?" Now both of the boys looked horrified.

Sirius and James immediately both charmed their board shorts so they were different colors and patterns and Lily started laughing again.

"And James, don't ever call me Lilykins again."

"Ok Lilykin-I mean Lily." James sounded completely helpless. Sirius just couldn't contain his amusement at his friend's hopeless plight anymore so he walked away, shoving his fist in his mouth.

"Oh and Sirius?" Lily yelled sweetly at his retreating back.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, turning around, fist still in mouth.

"I know there's alcohol in here. I'm not stupid."

"And that, Lily darling," Sirius said, pointing his finger at her and walking backwards towards the bar, "is why I never tried to bang you." And then he turned around and started taking orders in the bar again, not waiting to see anyone's reaction.

Sirius was still taking drink orders about a half hour later when he heard Remus' voice, magically amplified,

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, that you have all hopefully gotten your drinks and gotten settled, I think it is time to turn this party up a notch!" He paused, waiting for the cheers from the crowd to die down, "So, Peter, you can close the doors, I think we're filled to capacity, and the dance floor and the gambling table (hosted by me) are officially open!" Sirius felt his bar move off the dance floor and back up against the wall as the lights dimmed and the music switched from breezy Caribbean reggae to loud, pounding popular club and dance songs.

There was a sudden movement as a pack of people made their way towards the dance floor or the table and Sirius smiled, shaking his head.

For someone as shy as Remus, he certainly had some showmen's chauvinistic flair in him. Really, magically levitating Sirius' bar off to the side. That was quite unnecessary.

'But pretty damn impressive' Sirius thought grinning.

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed

"Hey there sexy, how come you're not out there dancing?" A sixth year girl asked as she sashayed up to the bar. Sirius paused to give her a once-over before speaking. He was pretty sure he had seen her around before, but she definitely wasn't a Gryffindor or he would have hit on her before now. She was very tall, with very long legs and had skin that was very tan. She had high, model cheekbones, and dark eyes with long, wavy black hair that fell to mid-back. She was wearing a white halter-top and tight, white Capri pants and, for some reason, she had no shoes on. Her skin seemed to glow in contrast to the all-white outfit, which would have done nothing for most of the pale girls of England. Although she wasn't as curvaceous as most of the girls he 'dated' she definitely was hot. He decided in that instant that this chick would be his conquest for the night.

"Well because I'm the designated bartender until 11:30," he said with a cheeky smile, "Would you like a drink?"

The girl checked her watch, and then gave him a coy smile back, "That means you're stuck here for another forty-five minutes. And yes, please, I'd like vodka, on the rocks."

"Ooh, like to live dangerously don't we?"

"No, just like to live. And, guys always get turned on when girls can hold their liquor." She glanced over at Sirius who was now taking a deep gulp out of a Firewhiskey; "Hope you're not supposed to be designated as in sober."

"Nah, I'm allowed five alcoholic drinks just like the rest of the joint. Here you go, one vodka on the rocks. So what's your name, gorgeous?"

"Meliha, and yours?"

"Meliha, exotic, very pretty. And my name's Sirius, Sirius Black."

"Serious, like…Professor McGonogall?" Sirius winced, but tried to hide it with a smile. He hated it when people thought that.

"No, Sirius, like the stars, the constellation."

"Oh, Sirius. A star. Well, that's fitting. Well Sirius, I have to go find my little sister and put her to bed. She's fifteen and I don't need her here at one o'clock in the morning with a bunch of seventeen and eighteen year old guys like you. But, I'll be back, so come find me when your done being bartender, and maybe we can dance or something." She smiled that ultra-cute smile again, and sashayed away.

Sirius realized with a start that had been a statement rather then a question.

Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay

Things had slowed down at the bar for the moment so Sirius took a moment to get himself another Firewhiskey. After taking a long, deep, gulp from it he leaned up against the bar and observed the goings-on of the place with a sexy, haughty look on his face that told everyone he was way to hot for this joint.

Remus was looking slightly out of his element at the gambling table, but "Strip Snap" seemed to be going quite well (despite Moony's look of slightly dazed and uncomfortable happiness.) And out on the dance floor, were…Sirius smiled, James and Lily.

'Well finally,' he thought to himself before narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Lily seemed to be dancing, err, a little over-exuberantly, and James was looking a little intimidated. 'Hmm…apparently Lily can't hold her liquor very well' Sirius thought, making a note to himself that at the next function, she should not be allowed more then two drinks.

After a while of refilling drinks, whistling to himself, flirting with anything with two legs and a skirt, watching the clock, and just in general being bored, he discovered it was 11:35. Sirius put an amplifying charm on his voice and said, in his charming "Game Show Host" voice,

"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that the bar will be closing. However, don't hasten to leave just yet, because we've got two more hours left of full-blown partying! The dance floor and gambling table will be open until 1:30, and now, Sirius Black is in the house, so let's get ready to PARTY!" Sirius smiled cockily as a bunch of people cheered and crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest, looking like the complete hunk he knew he was.

After people stopped watching him he dropped his pose and scanned the room. Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, some people were leaving, looking disappointed and more then a bit disoriented. Some people were only in it for the drinking. Sirius liked to drink, there was no doubt about it, but he was by no means a full-blown alcoholic like some of those people. He liked partying in general, the girls, the dancing, the sheer adrenaline rush that it gave you to know you were doing something completely against the rules just for the hell of it, and, yes, the booze.

His eyes stopped suddenly on the girl he had seen before, and they began to twinkle mischievously. He sauntered over to her, his hands out, in a "what happened?" sort of pose. She looked over to him and giggled at him in a very girl-y way, (she seemed to have let her guard down quite a bit by this point.) Sirius smiled, that was exactly what he had hoped for.

"M'dear lady, I do believe you owe this gentlemen the pleasure of a dance." He took her hand delicately and brought it up to his lips, placing a light, feathery kiss on it. She smiled and said in that high-pitched girly voice,

"The pleasure would be all mine, good sir." And then she started giggling hysterically again, doubling over and clutching herself. Sirius just smiled and waited patiently for her. Eventually they made their way to the dance floor, where a fast-paced techno song was playing, and they both began dancing; Sirius moving just a tiny bit close to her every few seconds. He was well practiced at this game, and he knew his lines and movements perfectly by this point.

"So what year and house are you in?"

"Seventh, and I'm a Ravenclaw, and what about you?"

"Seventh as well, would you look at that coincidence," Sirius smiled charmingly at Meliha, who smiled back, blushing.

"I, however, am a Gryffindor," he added proudly. Meliha nodded and the pair continued to dance through the next couple of songs, which were fast-paced and techno-sounding. Every once in a while, Sirius would ask Meliha a question or comment on how pretty she was, but he made sure not to overdo it. Besides, it was difficult to hear anything over the loud, pounding music.

About a half-hour later, although Sirius wasn't sure, he hadn't looked at the clock since he stopped bar-duty, a slow song came on. 'Finally,' Sirius thought to himself, not for the first time that evening, and gave Meliha a cheeky, toothy grin before pulling her ridiculously close to him in one, fluid motion.

Meliha giggled again and practically fell into his arms, and they began dancing. Sirius was an exceptional dancer, even when smashed. Meliha, on the other hand, wasn't holding up as well, she stumbled a little bit, but at least she wasn't falling completely, or blabbering like a complete idiot.

"You know, darling, with your body up against mine, I can feel all your delicious curves." Meliha giggled slightly but kept her composure,

"And that's about as close as you will get to them, darling," She said, mocking his cheeky smile.

Sirius smiled even more broadly. He enjoyed a challenge.

"Well, we'll just see about that, won't we my dear?" He began to spin Meliha around, and caught her in a dip, which made her giggle even more.

And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free

As soon as the song ended, Meliha began laughing again, looking incredibly flushed. She fanned herself slightly and then smiled brightly at the handsome guy who was still holding onto her, even though a faster song had come on, and people were coming crashing into them, throwing themselves about like the drunken idiots they were.

"You're quite a good dancer Sirius."

"That's not the only thing I'm good at, babe," he said in a husky growl.

Meliha's mouth fell open in delight and shock all at the same time, and Sirius took that opportune moment to kiss her, hard and long on the mouth. Meliha reciprocated and soon they were in a full-blown, hot and heavy make-out session. To avoid getting them knocked over by the intoxicated moshers, Sirius pushed Meliha, rather roughly, into a corner and smiled at her. She smiled back, and he put his mouth on hers again, getting right back to where they were before.

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you-scream

Suddenly, and in a most out-of-character moment, Sirius broke off the kiss with Meliha. He rolled his eyes and sighed, getting prepared to punch the lights out of whomever had just tapped him on the shoulder at such a –crucial- point in his night. He winced at the confused look in Meliha's eyes and held up a finger,

"One second babe, I just have to take care of whatever asshole-"

"Hello Sirius, having a good time then, yes?" said a hassled looking James, with a strained smile and polite voice. Sirius plastered a strained smile on his face as well,

"Well I was, until you interrupted it…" he dropped his voice to a hissing whisper, "This better be damn good, Prongs, if you couldn't tell I'm sort of busy getting into some girls pants." James looked up and gave Meliha a pained smile,

"Yes, right, so I saw, by the way, Padfoot, you might want to take that somewhere a bit more private-"

"Out with it Prongs!" Sirius hissed angrily through barely clenched teeth, balling up his hands into fists. James laughed,

"Alright then, buddy, if you insist. Right, well, Lily here seems to have had a bit too much to drink." Sirius looked next to James and saw for the first time that Lily was curled up in a ball at his feet, sobbing uncontrollably and looking distinctly green-faced in only a bra and panties.

"James, I think I'm going to hurl," Lily whined miserably, tugging at the bottom of his board-shorts.

"Oh, crap."

"Oh, crap is quite right Sirius," said James quickly, looking stressed-out to the point of desperation now.

"Well, what are you going to do now?" Sirius asked pointedly.

"I'm going to try and carry her up to Gryffindor Tower. There's a few bathrooms on the way, so worse comes to worse we'll have to make a pit stop, but I'm just telling you so that you know why I've gone missing and all, if you get a chance tell Remus and Pete, I guess I'll just wrap her up in some blankets and put her to sleep on the couch…we still haven't figured out how to get past the charms on the stairs to the girls dormitory…"

"No, no we definitely have not," Sirius interjected morosely. James paused and let out a genuine laugh for the first time in the conversation.

"But anyway, I'm going to need the invisibility cloak so you guys will just have to fend for yourselves, sorry." Sirius nodded curtly and James picked up a sobbing Lily with apparent ease.

"See you tomorrow then, mate, and good luck with that chick."

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play

Sirius turned back to Meliha, and he found that a shorter, scrawnier looking guy had grabbed her by the shoulder and was trying, to no avail, to guide her away from the dark corner.

"Hey, take your hands off my girl," Sirius said, anger rising in his chest.

"She's not your girl, she's my girlfriend," the guy shouted back. Sirius' mouth tightened into a straight line almost reminiscent of Professor McGonogall.

"Is this true, Meliha?"

"No!' She shouted desperately, trying to wriggle free of the boy's grip, "I dumped him almost a month ago!"

"Sorry, kid, better luck next time, but for right now, you're going to have to face reality and get your hands off MY girl, before I hex you into next Friday," Sirius said, a sarcastic grin on his face. The boy put his hand in his pocket, as if he was going to fight, but after looking back and forth between the two angry faces, he put his wand away.

"That's a boy, now why don't you just run along, go, scamper, play with some friends or something." Meliha giggled at Sirius' comment and the boy stalked off.

"Well that's better," Sirius said seductively as Meliha pulled him closer to her and they began to kiss again.

If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

"Here, c'mere I want to show you something," Sirius said huskily pulling Meliha out of the corner and towards the exit.

"Hey Remus, it's just you and Pete for close-up tonight!" Sirius yelled, giving his friend a thumbs-up. Remus looked at Sirius, who was dragging the girl across the room, rolled his eyes, and nodded.

"Where are you taking me?" Meliha slurred, looking very confused.

"You'll see, babe, you'll see." Sirius quickly and anxiously popped his head out the door of the Room of Requirement. There was no one there, except he thought he saw the swish of a dark purple robe flash around the corner that could only belong to one man in this whole castle…Sirius shook his head, 'No, it couldn't be.'

After making sure the flash of cloak (and the body inside of it) was one for good, he quickly scattered out of the room, putting his fingers to his lips. Meliha nodded solemnly, and Sirius grabbed her hand and led her slowly out of the room. They were about halfway to his destination when Meliha tripped over her own two feet, wound up on her butt, She giggled madly and Sirius whirled around, shushing her. Meliha got up quickly, and looked as if she were about to cry. Sirius' face softened. "Hey, it's alright, doll face, everything's fine. Here, let me help you, I'm pretty good at playing the hero." He smiled broadly and in one, fluid motion had picked her up and took the two large steps towards the door. Chauvinistic mile firmly in place, he let go of Meliha with one hand, and without even showing any sign of strain or struggle and swung the door open.

"We're in a Broom Closet, Sirius!" Meliha crumpled on the floor and dissolved into a new fit of laughter.

And when you're high you never
Ever want to come down, YEAH!

"Yes we are, honey, sorry I couldn't get a hot bath with rose petals in the water, but you know, short notice and all," He smiled, trying to play it off as a playful joke instead of a sneering condescension. Meliha didn't seem to notice, she just smiled in that hammered sort of way' and Sirius, of course, smiled back.

He stepped back a moment, ran a hand through his hair, (causing Meliha to swoon again,) and took a breath,

"You ready for the experience I'm about to give ya, babe?"

"Of course, Sirius."

You know where you are
You're in the jungle baby

Kissing ensued, on all parts of available skin. When that wasn't enough for either of the two, the completely white outfit came off, as did the board shorts, leaving just a pair of flannel boxers and some lacy white undergarments between them.

Sirius groaned in the back of his throat, "You're so hot, babe, I want you so bad,"

"Mmm, I want you too."

You're gonna die

Heavy breathing, more kissing, less clothing, body temperatures rising. This was exactly what Sirius was looking for out of tonight. He smiled to himself, pausing in between a kiss.

This night was perfect.

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knees, knees

Sirius could feel it, the time was now. He decided to ask her if she wanted this one more time, just to be on the safe side. He didn't need to get accused of raping anyone a mere six months before he graduated. Although his nutty family didn't seem to mind it, to him Azkaban just didn't seem like a good time.

"You want this, babe?" Came a husky voice.

"More than anything," came the whispered reply.

Sirius smiled gratefully, it was good enough for him.

"Then get ready for the best night of your life, doll face."

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my serpentine

"Th-that was amazing," Meliha said lying on the floor of the broom closet, head on top of Sirius' warm stomach.

"Tell me about it," Sirius said, smirking and arching an eyebrow, running his hands through her ebony hair.

Quite suddenly he sat up, and Meliha struggled to not let her head hit the floor.

"Shit. Shitshitshitshit."

"What?" Meliha asked, sounding tired, hung over, and whiny.

"Get the rest of your clothes on, doll face, and do it as quietly and quickly as possible." With that, Sirius fairly fell into his board shorts and put his ear to the door of the closet.

"Damnitt, girl, could you go any faster?" He asked, exasperatedly. Meliha shot a glare his way,

"Maybe if you could tell me what the hell's going on!" Her anger was steely, though muted through clenched teeth.

"It's Filch's cat, he'll be here any minute, that's what the hell's wrong, now come one!" Sirius grabbed her hand and skidded through the door.

"Have a great night hanks for everything, you're hot and so was that back there in the broom closet. Keep in touch, Kay, babe?' He gave her a kiss on the cheek and started to jog off, but stopped, frustrated when he saw the dumbfounded look on Meliha's face.

"You're just going to leave me here?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, a dumbfounded look on his face now too. He couldn't help but think they must look a bit stupid, standing ten yards away with equally dumb looks on their faces, but he brushed it off and gave a half-assed smile.

"Well, what'd you expect, babe? A midnight stroll through the castle while Filch was on our tail?"

"Well, no, but you could at least walk me to my Common Room, to make sure I arrived safely." By this time, her still-drunken voice was becoming quite loud, and Sirius knew (he had experience with this sort of thing,) that he would hear Filch's wheezing breath and overly loud footsteps in about two minutes if he didn't get away from this girl.

"I-I don't even know where your Common Room is," he said lamely, holding up his hands as a peace offering.

"Jeez, and they said you were chivalrous. Guess the sluts didn't know any better and thought you were some damn knight in shining armor or something," Sirius, again, raised his eyebrow, but refrained from pointing out that she had quickly fallen under that spell as well. "Well, have a nice life, Sirius, hope I never see you again, doll face." And with that she stormed away, really loudly.

Sirius sighed; well at least it would make it easier to get back to the Common Room. He would deal with damage control tomorrow, now he had to take advantage of the crazy woman distraction and get back to his dorm without getting caught.

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knees, knees

A mere five minutes and three secret passages later, Sirius found himself in the Gryffindor Common Room. He was huffing and puffing and out of breath, but he hadn't had any unpleasant visit to Filch's office tonight. He smiled to himself, pleased, and then chuckled when he saw Lily on the couch, wrapped up in blankets, and James nodding off and the chair next to her.

"Well at least I can tell Meliha chivalry isn't dead…she was just looking for the wrong guy."

"Uhwha?" Came James' half-asleep reply.

"Nothin', Jamsie, nothing. C'mon, let's go up to bed, I think Lily will be all right now," Sirius said tiredly, running his hands through his hair again.

"MMph," James rubbed his eyes and shook himself awake, "Alright, I'll be up in a few minutes, I just have to give her a goodnight kiss." Sirius shook his head laughing, and started up the stairs,

"Alright man, alright, but it's your funeral."

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
It's gonna bring you down

"Mate, wake up…Padfoot, you're having a nightmare, Padfoot, snap out of it, SIRIUS! WAKE UP!" Sirius woke with a start to James slapping him in the face.

"Mate, what kind of a dream were you having? You were thrashing about and screaming and...crying by the looks of it."

"I don't know I just saw…lots of girls faces…I know them all, but I don't really know how…"

James looked flabbergasted, "You saw girls faces, and you were having that sort of reaction? Were they that ugly?"

"No... no... they were really pretty actually…" Sirius sat up with a start "I screwed them all!"

"What?"

"I screwed all those girls!"

James arched an eyebrow, "Are we talking literally or figuratively?"

"Both." Sirius put his head in his hands, feeling just as confused as James looked.

"Oh…" James looked very confused, disoriented and tired. "Right. Well, just get some sleep. You have quite a bit of alcohol in you."

"Right...yeah, I'm just drunk. That's all. Yeah." Sirius rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, deeply disturbed.

Ha!

((A/N: Sorry this chapter was so long in coming. It's been a long year, but I'm still around and I still intend to finish this thing, all fourteen chapters in tact. Hopefully the chapters will come out faster from now on.  Thanks to my reviewer, you helped me to keep working through this chapter even when I wanted to quit))