Chapter 14: Darkness in a box

She heard talking, a voice that sounded familiar and blinked her eyes open. It took a moment for her sight to clear. There was barely any light but she could make out a dark ceiling above and walls around her. She reached out and touched them and her hands didn't go far, met soft material, satiny like her ribbon. It was like she was in some sort of box.

Trying to remember how she'd gotten here, Lily sat up, finally seeing that only half of the box she was in was open. It had a lid and the upper half was propped up. Suddenly as she realized what this box really was, someone was beside her.

"What do you think Lily? I picked it out just for you." Anise said with a smile. "Do you know what this is?"

She did know and it frightened her. She nodded, feeling tears well in her eyes.

Daddy, Ed, Al, someone help me!

Anise touched her cheek and Lily winced. "Say it,"

Lily shook her head.

Daddy please, save me, please. I don't want to die. Her heart screamed.

Her aunt pet her hair. "Say it!"

Maybe if she did what she was told she could get out of it. "A c-coffin."

"That's right and do you know why you're in it?"

Lily turned and reached for her Aunt, her little hands grasping at the rich fabric her aunt always wore. "Please Aunt Anise; I'll be good, I promise. Let me get out, please."

For a moment her aunt held her, smoothing down her hair. Then she pushed her back a little, fighting Lily's desperate hands. "You're right you will be good, now do you know why you're in here?"

"I swear I'll be good. I don't want to die. I'll live with you if that's what you want." She sobbed.

"Shut up!"

Lily closed her mouth, sniffling, her body trembling.

"You're in here because your father asked me to do this. All of this, it was just him setting it up to get rid of you. He really doesn't want you Lily, no one does. You're nothing but a disease to everyone you touch."

"That's not true!" Lily shouted and was slapped for it. She cringed, holding her cheek as it throbbed and stung.

"Yes it is. You were born and your mother died. Your father couldn't handle you because you were sucking the life out of him. Because of you he's been weighed down all these years. You've ruined my life and now you've managed to nearly get Edward killed. They all hate you Lily; they all want you dead and gone."

It wasn't true! Her Daddy loved her, he'd told her a hundred times. Ed loved her, so did Al. Riza loved her. It wasn't true, her aunt was lying. "Liar," She whispered.

Anise chuckled. "Am I, we'll see. They're not coming Lily and they won't because they hate you and they don't care what happens to you. Edward didn't even come when you called for him. Now lay down."

Lily shook her head and scrambled to get out but her Aunt held her back. "No, please. I'll be good. I'll be good. I'll be perfect. Please don't bury me. Please!"

"Garret," Anise shouted and the man who'd jumped out of her closet came rushing over and back handed her, knocking her silly. Then he shoved her down and slammed the lid with a bang.

Lily tried to sit up, tried to push upon the lid but couldn't get it open. Something clicked, clicked like a pad lock and she panicked. She screamed, punched, clawed, kicked, and screamed until her throat was raw and she wore herself down from violent hysterics and terror.

Hitting the lid weakly, she cried, her voice scratchy. "Please, I'll be good. Daddy, Ed, Al, I'll be good. I'll be good." It was so very dark, so small; she felt like the walls were closing in on her and it was hot. She couldn't breathe.

Help me please! Don't let me die Daddy.

"Roy, you need to sleep." Riza said softly.

Roy looked up at her from where he sat at his desk in the study. It was after three in the morning. Ed had finally slipped off, curled up against his brother, holding Lily's raccoon and the ribbon. Al, well he didn't know if Al was awake or just sitting there staring off into space.

Havoc came into the study and closed the door. "Anything?" Roy asked, rising from his chair.

Please let there be something, anything, just a hint.

Havoc shook his head with exhaustion and went over to the window. "Nothing, every train has been checked so far and there's not a damned thing. All the cars entering and exiting the city have been checked and those of surrounding towns and villages. Falman's leading a team to check abandoned buildings and houses out of town and Breda's got a team searching warehouses."

Roy rested his hands upon his desk and leaned upon them. He met Riza's eyes. "I won't sleep until she's home, I can't. I can't sleep knowing she's out there with Anise and god knows who, scared and alone. She almost killed Edward, if she can do that she can do the s… same t-to…" He couldn't, he just couldn't take this. Ed, Lily, was Al to be next? How many people close to him had to suffer because he couldn't save his wife? That's what this was about. It's what it had always been about.

God please, don't let her suffer. Don't take her from me.

"Roy,"

He shook his head as he felt something wet upon his cheeks, his sight blurring a little. "Excuse me," He breathed and hurried from the study into the hallway. He could almost hear her sweet little voice calling out to him. Maybe he was imagining it but she was so scared, sounded as terrified as she had in the hospital when she was so sick and unconscious.

Roy leaned against the wall and let the tears come. He didn't utter a sound and it had been years since he'd really cried, but he just couldn't hold it back any longer, fearing he'd never get to see his little angel alive again if at all.

A hand rest upon his shoulder and he knew it was Riza. She didn't say anything at all but turned him around to face her. He could see it, read it in her eyes. She was frightened as well, had the same fears but she was so much stronger, not crying like he was.

"Riza…"

"I know, just let it out now. No one will think any less of you." She said softly. "Just don't break,"

"How could I have been so careless? After what happened with Edward, I should have…" Riza covered his mouth with her hand stopping him.

"Don't Roy, you're human and we all thought we were safe here. No one ever thought she'd be able to pull this off and she couldn't have done it alone. We'll find Lily, alive, and we'll bring her home. Anise will suffer the consequences of her actions and so will anyone who has helped her along the way. Lily will be alright, she's your daughter, and she's strong. She's probably giving Anise a piece of her mind as we speak or who ever it is that she's with."

Her other hand came up and touched his face. "Just let it out before you break."

"Riza I need you to help me." He whispered. Admitting defeat, admitting weakness was never something he was able to do, never sat well with him, made him feel so vulnerable, useless, and dependant. But he could trust her, had trusted her for years.

"I'm here,"

Riza found Edward in Lily's room the next morning. She'd been up all night, sitting, waiting with Roy. She'd made breakfast. It had given her something to do and everyone needed to eat but she'd lost sight of him as Maes came to report they still had nothing. This house was… it was too quiet, filled with people but not joy as it had once been. Now it felt like a tomb and she hated it.

Seeing Roy, the man she loved cracking, losing his mind had… She wouldn't let him fall, she wouldn't let Anise have that kind of power over him again, never let that bitch win. But seeing Edward sitting upon the floor, pushing a half broken crayon around, crying silently, she almost had to leave the room. How was she supposed to keep all of them together when she felt so horrible and useless herself?

This recent act on Anise's part was one of the lowest blows she'd seen from anyone in a long time and she just kept coming, kept hitting lower and lower each time. What was wrong with that woman? When was she ever going to have had her fill?

"Do you know what today is?" Ed's voice asked softly.

Riza walked to his side and knelt as he picked up the crayon and set the small box right, then dropped it in. "Friday, the 27th of November."

"Is that the date? Huh, guess I got a little behind with all the s-sleeping…" He choked.

Riza brushed his bangs from his eyes and tucked them behind his ear. She could feel how warm his skin was, heat that came from crying so hard. "It's not your fault Edward."

"I wasn't asking the date," He whispered. "Today was supposed to be special. We had this plan. Lily was excited about it, said she'd wished for it for some time but we can't do it without her."

Riza nodded and slipped her arm around him, holding him. "What was it?"

"I can't say, it'd ruin it and she might get mad." He smiled. "You know she lectures me just as bad as Dad, it's kind of creepy." He paused. "He must be so angry with me. I've done it this time, I've made a mess so terrible I-"

Riza hushed him, shifting so she could hold him close. "He's not angry with you Edward. He doesn't blame you or Alphonse at all. He's just scared and wants all of his children safe where he can see them, touch them, and tell them how much they mean to him."

"I'm a horrible older brother. I almost killed Al, lost his body and now I've lost Lily." Ed cried. "Why can't it just be me? Why can't I be the one to get hurt? Isn't that how it's supposed to work?"

"Edward," Riza whispered. "No, it's not supposed to work like that at all." She closed her eyes and after some maneuvering, she eased him into her lap. He was a little heavier than she'd expected. She wished she had answers for him, one's he'd believe but Edward was always so hell bent on blaming himself for everything that went wrong.

"I didn't hear her,"

"Did you ever stop to think that perhaps Lily didn't have time to call for you?" Edward winced in her arms and maybe that wasn't the best thing to say but it was possible. She felt someone come beside her and looked up to see Roy, pale and worn.

"Edward," Roy said softly.

Ed winced again and tried to hide his face in her uniform top. Roy knelt, brushing some of the crayons out of his way. He reached for the boy and Edward simply went limp, letting Roy take him from her.

"I'll check on Alphonse," She whispered and rose. She couldn't leave Al alone, even if Havoc was still here and sitting with him in the study.

She made it to the top of the stairs before having to turn back and shut herself in Edward's room so she could cry.

Roy rose from the floor, picking Edward up and sat upon the bed. Edward clung to him but there was a listlessness to him that worried him. Carefully he lifted Ed's left arm. "We need to change these bandages kiddo."

Ed turned his face into his neck, wetting his skin with tears. "I'm sorry,"

Roy sighed, petting Ed's soft hair. At some point he'd taken it from the braid he usually wore it and left it down or maybe he'd never braided it. "You didn't do anything wrong. Come on pipsqueak, this isn't like you."

Ed didn't even bat an eye which only scared Roy further. Slowly he shifted Edward in his lap so he could still hold him and remove the bandages. As he unwrapped his arm he smiled a little. The skin was scared, but there was some healthy, new pink flesh there as well. The blisters were gone now. His smile faded as he saw the bluish purple of a bruise coloring his forearm. It was visible even beneath the scaring.

"Where did you get this?"

"I fell yesterday," Ed murmured.

"That's no good." Roy whispered and kissed his head. "Your arms almost better though. Soon we won't have to wrap it up. We'll just let it breathe for a little bit then go wrap it up again."

"I want to look for her,"

"Me too," Roy replied. He'd decided already, orders or no, if Lily wasn't home, sleeping in her own bed tonight he was going to look for her. He told Edward as much.

Havoc knocked upon the door. "Sorry sir, Mr. Elric is here. He said he'd like to see Edward and you."

Roy nodded. "Thanks Jean, we'll be down in a minute."

Edward didn't want to see his real father but couldn't help but feel a little hint of relief as he followed Roy into the study. Hohenheim smiled sadly. "Hello Edward,"

"Hi," He muttered, sitting beside his little brother.

"Your arm is looking so much better," Hohenheim remarked softly.

Ed nodded even though he didn't look. He knew it was, it didn't hurt as much any more. He barely felt the heat and it was mostly tender. "Why'd you come?"

"To check on you and Alphonse," He replied.

"'K,"

"Dad wants to help but the military won't let him." Al said softly. "Just like they won't let us."

"I didn't think they would and we should let them handle it, we might just get in the way." Hohenheim reasoned. "Don't worry, she'll turn up."

Time was something she had no sense of. She didn't know if it was night or day, how many days had passed, how many hours. Her world was nothing but darkness now, darkness, fear, and barely breathable air. She'd clawed at the fabric of her coffin so much off and on, desperately seeking a way out so much now that shreds of it hung down and tickled her face. Her fingers were sore, bleeding from being rubbed raw, the pads, the knuckles, a few of her nails broken. And she drifted in and out from time to time. She was hungry and thirsty, her mouth dry and her stomach growling for sustenance.

Suddenly there was a noise and after so long of not hearing anything but her own screams, pleas, and breathing, it was so loud it hurt, startled her. Then the lid was lifted and a rush of cold, clean air hit her. Lily gasped, blinking at the dim light. That man stood over her, blank faced, and reached in for her.

"Don't kill me," She rasped.

"Relax kid I'm just taking you to the bathroom." He half grunted. "Keep quiet."

Lily closed her mouth and he carried her into another room, across it, and to a small bathroom. There weren't any windows so she could see the world outside so she guessed she must be underground. The bathroom was nothing more than a tiny room large enough to hold a toilet and a sink.

The man set her down then closed the door quickly, told her to hurry up. Lily did as she was told, went and washed her hands. The soap stung her hands, the water washing the blood into the sink and down the drain. Lily had never seen anything so beautiful, red upon stark white, the way the water took it and washed it away, down the drain to never be seen again. She thought that should have frightened her, made her sick but it didn't. In some odd way it fascinated her.

The man opened the door again and looked down at her. Lily lifted her hands to him. She might be cold, knew she was going back in that coffin, but wanted to feel warm arms around her again. If she tried hard enough she bet she could pretend it was her Daddy. He had nice strong arms that were warm and comforting. This man had strong arms too so she might just be able to fool herself.

He picked her up and closed the door quietly, began to walk back toward the little room. She tried and tried to pretend but just couldn't and she'd never felt more alone in her life. Her aunt's words rang in her mind but she told herself her aunt was lying. Her Daddy and brothers would come for her. But maybe they just needed a little help. If she could somehow do something, escape maybe they would be able to find her.

Lily caught sight of a pen in the breast pocket of his shirt and began to struggle just before the man placed her back in the coffin. She did this so he wouldn't notice that she'd taken the pen and because she desperately didn't want to go back inside. But he did notice and smacked her for it, dropping her inside the coffin and closing the lid but not before putting the pen in the side, in between the lid and casket.

"If you want this pen, you can have it, but if you take it from here you'll lose the fresh air. After awhile, though this thing isn't air tight, you will lose breathable oxygen. So what's it to be? Will you allow yourself air to breathe or suffocate?"

Lily debated, really debated it but decided that breathing was better and left it alone. But it was so cruel, what might be her salvation might also be her doom. She heard the pad lock again and kicked the side. "I want to go home." She cried.

Suddenly there was a horrible loud noise near her, sounded like some horn and she clapped her hands over her ears and screamed. There were other noises, things that sounded like the sky was ripping open with thunder, clashing, clanking, and sometimes scratching as well and it continued for so long she thought she might go insane, thought her ears might bleed. Every so often she felt the coffin shake, jolting her around inside and screamed so loud, crying, until her throat was more raw and sore than ever.

At some point Lily gave up trying to cover her ears and tried, in the dark to scratch something into the coffin lid with her finger nails.