"I can't believe you talked me into this..."

"Quit whining! Your a Turk, act like one!"

"Yeah... I'm sure asking my parents how to be old, is real Turk-like... Idiot..."

"Well, my mother is like... Fifty or something... So she's not gonna be any help..."

"You don't think fifty's old?"

"Well... No... Tseng's like fifty, or sixty or something..."

"Tseng is in his thirties."

"How old Tseng is, isn't the point here!"

"No, the point is, if I have to do this, then so do you."

"Fine..."

So, after their little argument, the Turks... Or at-least, two of the Turks, set out to Rude's Parents house. Which was in Junon. So it took a while to get there on foot, seeing as how their cars had been confiscated, along with Rude's really nice shoes that had missile launchers in them and Reno's Hair products and silk shirts.

On the way, they overcame great obstacles, such as frogs, that when they hit you, make you turn into frogs and the very fearsome, but overlay weak, Midgar Zolom, why was it called a Midgar Zolom when it was nowhere near Midgar? Well, thats a story for another time. Anyway, they killed everything in sight, but, unbeknownst to the two Turks though, was that a sneaky little midget ninja was following them in the shadows, despite the fact that is was sunny, and their weren't any shadows.

When they reached the halfway line, known as the Mythril Mines, they heard a voice.

"Just a second!"

"Who are you?" Reno asked as he looked up and saw a burly man with a bald head and sunglasses, looking strangely like Rude.

"Do you know who I am?" The mystery man asked.

"Uh... Thats what we just asked..." Rude said.

"Quiet you!" The figure shouted.

"From the debt collectors, right?" Reno asked, noticed the Repo man suit in the low light.

"Well if you know, then this won't take long. It's difficult to explain what the Repo Men do..."

"Kidnapping belongings, right?" Reno asked, feeling a strange sense of Deja Vu...

"To put it negatively... you could say that. ... But, that's not all there is to it, anymore. ... ..." The Repo guy replied, and did that same 'dot, dot, dot' thing as Rude.

"Sir! It's all right, Prude! I know you don't like speeches, so don't force it!" Shouted a short woman, looking alot like Elena.

"... Then Helena, explain."

"I'm the newest member of the Repo Men, Helena. Thanks to what you did to Leno, we're short of people... Although, because of that, I got promoted to the Repo Men... In any case, our job is to find out where Jephiroth is headed. And to try and step you every step of the way. Wait a minute, it's the other way around... You're the ones that are getting in our way."

"Who the hell are Leno and Jephiroth?" Reno asked, confused out of his head.

"... Helena. You talk too much." Stated another Repo man, this one had long black hair and looked like he was from Wutai.

"Sorry... Twang." Helena said and bowed her head.

"No need to tell them about our orders. Now go. Don't forget to file your report." Twang ordered.

"Oh! Right! Very well, Prude and I will go after Jephiroth, who's heading for Junon Harbor!'" Helena Shouted, then started to skip to the exit.

"... Helena. You don't seem to understand."

"Oh! I'm, I'm sorry..."

"... Go. Don't let Jephiroth get away."

"Yes sir!" Prude and Helena shouted, then exited the cavern. Prude came in a second later.

"... Leno said he wanted to see you after the injuries you gave him healed. He wants to show his affection for you all... with a new weapon." He said, then left again.

"Well, then... Where's Aerith? She's not with you?"

"Erm... Aerith was never with us. She's like dead and zombie like, yo..."

"Oh... Then give her my regards." Twang said, then moon-walked out after his comrades.

"Well... There's something you don't see everyday..."

"Wonder who Jephiroth is? Or what the hell those guys where going on about?"

"You said it man."

"Don't take that tone of voice with me, Rude!"

"Yeah? Well your feet smell worse!"

"Really? Ok then, I'm sorry for all those nasty things I said too!"

Not that the... Conversation? Was over, the Turks carried on out of the cave and into Junon.

"So, where do your folks live Rude?"

"Upper Junon, eh?"

"Man stop that 'dot, dot, dot' thing, it's annoying me!"

"You do realize that I wasn't saying anything?"

"Yeah, I like fire engines too, but we got a mission to do."

"Are you just pretending that I'm talking to you?"

"Yeah, tacos are real yummy!"

"Thought so..." With that, Rude tossed Reno on his shoulder and walked to his parents house.

Ten Minutes Later

Rude stood next to Reno in-front of a nice little cottage on the outskirts of Junon, Rude took a deep breathe and raised his hand to knock.

"Come on man, it's freezing out here! Just knock already!"

"You've never met my parents, have you?"

"I don't think so, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Ok, there's something you need to know... My family is... Unique... If you see anything strange... Just... Don't say anything..."

"Don't say anything? Got it! Just knock already, I wanna meet em!" Reno almost shouted, and hopped from foot to foot, like an eager child.

"Ok-" Rude was cut of as the door slammed open and a knife wielding woman charged forward at the two Turks, Reno and Rude acted immediately, knocking the knives away and both delivering a kick to the weapon's master, the figure fell to the floor and the Turks got into their fighting stances, just as they heard a shotgun cock.

"Rudolph?" The small man who was holding the shotgun asked, in an over the top, Italian accent.

"Hey pops..."

"Whadda' ya doin', hittin' ya lil' sista like dat, ah?" 'Pops' said as he pulled up a Teenage-looking girl.

"Er... Sorry Jinni..." Rude said, and looked to the ground.

"Rude, you have a sister? A cute sister?" Reno asked, giving a flirty smile to the young girl.

"You still hit like a bitch Rude, and who's this shit head?"

"... Yeah, sure do... And this is Reno, Reno, meet Jinni..."

"Shit head! Who the hell do you-" Reno was shut up as Rude's large hand clamped over his mouth.

"Erm... Just ignore him... He's... Special..." Rude said with a nervous chuckle at the end. "You still kept my room Pops?"

Another Ten Minutes Later

"So let me get this right... Your Dad is a Midget, Junon Mafia Don, who has a knack for shooting peoples knee caps for not paying protection fees?"

"Ex, Mafia Don... He still likes to shoot people though... And he's not a midget... He's just... Short..."

"Right, so anyway, your Dad's a violent midget nut-ball, your Sister likes swearing and sharp pointy things... And your Mum... Hmm, I haven't met her yet, what's she like?"

"She... Erm... She's tall..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well... Have you noticed how all of the door frames are high up?"

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"My mother has to duck under them, so she doesn't hit her head."

"But they're like seven foot high!"

"Seriously, I mean, that's massive! I bet your dad has to climb a ladder just to kiss her!"

"Your an idiot, Reno..."

"Yo, what's that supposed to mean?"

"... I'm going to go and talk to my old man, stay here, in my room..."

"This is your room?"

"Yes... What's wrong with it?"

"It's... Pink..."

"What's wrong with pink?"

Reno tried his best to stifle his laughter, resulting in a very strange noise.

Rude's eyebrow arched, then twitched in frustration, he sighed then exited the room.

A/N: Sorry about the extremely long delay on this update! Lack of ideas, time and internet caused it. I wanted to make this chapter enjoyable, for you guys, but personally, I think it's missing something, I dunno, I might re-write it, tell me what you think anyway.

And now, for the regular interactive part of the fic (sort of), the questions!

Who was the sneaky little midget ninja? Will Reno be able to dye his hair red again, before anybody finds out his horrible secret? Why is Rude's room pink? What have the Debt Collectors and Jephiroth got to do with anything? Will Tseng and Elena actually make an appearance next time? Are the Debt Collectors cheap knock offs of the Turks? Is Rude's mother really tall? Will Reno find any interesting items while he's alone in Rude's room? And can Cid talk once sentence without swearing?

All these questions and more will probably not be answered next time, when the Turks have a surprise guest, during their 'Old training', in Turk Olympics, Chapter four, 'Dribbling down the road'.