No disclaimer this week... No good ideas, sorry guys!
0800 hours... In the Presidents Office of the ShinRa building... Elena is sat behind the Presidents desk, pen in hand...
To the right hand side of the blonde is sat Vincent Valentine... Why?
Well... Vincent decided to stop moping around in his coffin, and get a job... He's training to be a Turk... Again... And hell, why not?
To the left hand side of the Trainee, is sat a Chocobo... Why?
Well... It got stuck with community service... Damn speeding tickets...
In-front of the trio, is a stage.
All in all, it resembled an episode of Pop-Idol, the X-Factor, or whatever the hell they call that show these days.
"So, I said to him, 'yeah, I'm blonde, but at least I condition my hair!' and he's like 'I totally condition my hair!' and them I'm like 'oh yeah? Well what's with the split ends, sucka?' and he's all like 'no way you just went there!' and I'm like 'been there, took a photo and sent you a postcard!' and then he like, totally shut up." Babbled Elena.
"Wark!" Harked the Chocobo, using the miracle of science... And this handy translation software... What the Chocobo was actually saying was: "Please stop... Your hurting my ears..."
"I know! I totally showed him up!" Elena continued, unable to understand what the yellow speed devil was trying to say.
"Wark!" Translation: "Shut up or I'll peck your eyes out..."
"Somebody's here..." Vincent rather... Suddenly...? Spoke up.
"Really? How do you know? Is it some kind of super secret power that some mad Scientist gave you when he did some kind of weird experiment?" Elena asked.
"No... They're standing right there..." The Ex-Turk turned Turk-Trainee replied, and nodded to the door.
"Oh... Well, at-least somebody turned up, eh?" The Blond asked the Chocobo.
"Erm... Hello... I'm here for an interview..." The person said, and approached cautiously.
"Take a seat."
"Wark!"
The trio greeted...
"Okay."
"Now then... You do realize that this position will require you to be in dangerous situations? Potentially deadly, or worse."
"What could be worse than deadly?"
"Meeting Hojo."
"Wark!"
"Seeing Scarlet naked... Ew..."
"Okay then... I understand the dangerousness of the job..."
"Great, now then, lets start with your name." Elena said, and picked her pen up, ready for jotting down notes.
"My name is... Cloud Strife! Mercenary to the stars!" Cloud suddenly jumped up, slung his buster sword over his shoulder and held his thumb up, his teeth 'binged' as he grinned.
"That's great Mr. Strife, now then, can you name some of your most recent jobs?"
"Well... I killed Sephiroth... Defeated the Turks on numerous occasions... Watched my almost girlfriend be stabbed... Took my best friends identity... Went into space... Escaped from two separate Jails... Played countless mini-games... Bought a house in Costa Del Sol... Ruined Rufus' induction ceremony... Stole an airship..."
Two Hours later...
"Dressed as a woman... Survived the life-stream... Saved the world... And thats about it..."
"Wow... So nothing out of the ordinary then..." Elena said, as she rubbed the tiredness from her eyes.
"Wark!" The Chocobo, --who shall now be known as El Penguin'o, for some bizarre reason-- cried, as it pecked at Clouds eyes.
"Ah! Please stop! I need my eyes to see!"
"..." Vincent said, as he slept... Being in a coffin for thirty years can have good and bad affects you know... Good being that he didn't have to watch any boring sitcoms... Bad being that he was as pale as a piece of paper, as thin as one too, the people he was friends with were all old and wrinkly, and he didn't have alot of stamina, therefor he needed a nap every couple of hours... Basically, he was an old man, trapped in a young ones body.
Elena looked on with vague interest as El Penguin'o plucked one of Clouds eyes out, gobbled it down, and;
"Wark!" Translation: "Behold the mighty El Penguin'o! Phear me, or I shall pluck your eyes out!"
Yeah, Chocobish is a very unique language...
Elsewhere...
Reno was tired, that was a fact... He was pissed off, that was obvious... He was annoyed, that was clear... But he had a plan, that was sure...
It was almost completely forgotten about until last night... But now that Avalanche had embarrassed him again, it was time to even the score...
Four hundred gallons of rotten mayonnaise, a stolen fire-truck and a favor-owing-Turk were all that was needed for this ingenious plan...
But first he needed to change out of this bloody Kentucky Fried Chocobo outfit and these high heels... Although he did have to admit, the red, yellow and white attire really brought out the color of his eyes, and showed off his lean figure too...
"Reno, you've been walking around in circles for the past ten hours... Aren't you getting tired?" Teresa asked, as she watched the red head move above.
"I'm thinking, okay? I think best when I'm walking, and since I can't go out on the streets dressed like this, I've gotta work something out..."
"What are you thinking about, though?" Teresa continued.
"About what I'm gonna do... Since the repo men took all my stuff, I've got no clothes but the suit I was wearing... And that cursed author somehow forgot to explain what I did with it, so I've got nothing... And now he wants me to get revenge on Avalanche for embarrassing me! If I wasn't on a bloody contract I'd show him a thing or two..."
"Well, why don't you just borrow some clothes?"
"If you've ever met Tseng, then you'll know that he hates people out of uniform..." Rude answered.
"Exactly... I've gotta get hold of a blue suit... And the repo men are the only people that will have ones that will fit me... You know what this means don't you...?"
"Another pointless side quest that bulks up the story more, and sees us humiliate ourselves and others in some stupid way?" Rude answered with a question.
"Nope... Two pointless side quests..."
"Ugh... And you two expect to be able to compete in the Old Person Olympics and do missions on the side, in the space of three days?"
"No, not really, but we're the Hero's of the story, and the hero's always win!"
Or do they?
The Midgarian National Restaurant...
It was a well known fact that the Midgarian National Restaurant was a ShinRa owned business, although with the world nearly ending and all that, the MNR was hit hard, most of them where abandoned, the only ones left open was the one in the central Park of Sector Three, and the one in south Sector Seven...
The first one, in Sector three is run by a man called Toni, he's sixty next week, he has plans of retiring soon after... The restaurant has been run by him since it opened over thirty years ago...
What does this have to do with our story? Well nothing actually... But the actual place does play a part... Because around the back of the MNR is a dumpster... And in this dumpster is all of the joints waste food, in other words, it's a feast in the making for anybody feeling hungry, one little one in-particular that went by the name of Cait Sith.
You see, Cait Sith was homeless, once his job was done, Reeve kicked him out, Avalanche wouldn't take him, and even his Mog had left him...
"Get out of here ya lazy bum!" A voice shouted, Cait jumped up immediately, grabbing the fish he'd found and sped off and away from the potential danger...
The little cat continued to run...
Back To Elsewhere...
"I'm gonna grab the next person to go by and steal their clothes, then we're gonna go after the Rep-o-men and find out where my clothes are being kept."
"Agreed... Wait, there's somebody now, get them!"
Our Little Friend...
Cait ran and ran, and ran his little legs out, he turned a corner and kept on running... And just when he thought he could run no more, bam! Out of nowhere a door opens, which he rams into, then an arm comes from inside and grabs hold of the knocked out Cait...
Presidents Office...
"Okay, so I guess we're not going to be needing Cloud Strife's services... Who's next?" Elena said, as she watched El Penguin'o take his seat again.
"That fat guy..." Vincent replied, and pointed his claw toward a pillar.
"There's nobody there."
"Yes there is... I can smell him..."
"Alright... Whoever' there better come out! Or we'll let the Chocobo eat your eyes!"
"Please don't! I'm coming out!" The squeaky voice replied, before a large, round, balding man, sat on a stained Mog came out from behind the pillar.
"Palmer and Mog? What are you two doing here?" Elena asked, as she watched the Stuffed Mog struggle with the weight of Palmer's large... Body...
"Well..."
Dun... Dun... Dun...!
Cueball's Notes Begin!
Before I start ranting as usual... I'd just like to invite all of those lovely people out there who actually read my stories to review, can't think of anything to say? Try answering the questions below, or giving me an idea for the disclaimer.
Kinda plot hanger there, sorry about the longish wait for updates, been busy... Anyway, what to say this time around... I guess I liked this one, kinda random in places, but I wanna keep this story open plotted for the moment, try and milk it for all it's worth if you want, but it's gonna tie in really well...
Vincent being a Turk in training again... Not sure where that came from... But I can say El Penguin'o is a character from an up-coming fic of mine.
The reason for Cait Sith being here, well Reno needed some clothes, and I saw a fan-art of him dressed in Cait's gear... Palmer and Mog? Well, I forgot about Palmer last chapter, so it was either turn him into an 'Agent' or do something else with him, and it'd be funnier for him to be on the Conspiracy Team... If he actually makes it, which I doubt will happen... Cough... As for Mog, he's just such an under appreciated character, think about it, all Cait did was shout orders, it was Mog that did the attacks!
Oh yeah, I hate Cloud before anybody says I'm bashing him... He's just so... Blond!
Anyway, not much of Tifa, Dr. Barett and Ivan this chapter, or the Agents... Maybe next one...
Now, the questions:
Do you feel sorry for Cait, all alone and having to eat from a dumpster? If I am facing one way, and a friend is facing me, and we both raise our right hands, they're pointing in opposite directions, so which way is left? Anybody like El Penguin'o? Would the KFC outfit really bring out Reno's eye color and figure? If you dropped Cloud in a herd of Chocobo's, do you reckon you'd ever find him again? Have you noticed any little rhymes in this story? What are Palmer and Mog up to? Who's gonna make the cut for Elena's team? Will Mayor Domino play any role in future events? Will Reno's plan work? Why has Rude got so many earrings? Have you got any ideas to make the Turks say the Disclaimer? If you smile, does the world smile with you? And if you frown, do you frown alone?
All these questions and more, will be kicked in the nads next time, when the Turks and Teresa confront Twang and his gang, and Elena finds out what Palmer wants, in Turk Olympics Chapter Eight... 'Agent Palmer To the Rescue!'