Ch 18 – "Of Soda and Coin Tosses"

by Skandranon

Summary - This is for all of you that have been chanting "Yaoi Yaoi Yaoi!" at me. Enjoy.

He was fine until he sat down on the bed. Then the world fell apart.

He could see it happening. His thoughts tilted at an angle, and melted into honeyed glass. They trickled down his nerves in golden ripples of fear, and hate, and lust, and Irvine was staring up at him in shock from the pillows where he'd thrown the cowboy down.

The winter wind howled at him. He could barely feel the mouth on his, or taste the blood where he broke the skin. He had to look again to be sure that he had. Hands pushed against his chest, but they were so fragile compared to this. Easy to ignore.

The bruises blossomed on the cowboy's skin where his fingers dug to hard. The coat tore away, and the jacket, buttons popping like broken bones. Words were spoken, insistent words, but what did they matter? They can easily be muffled by a tongue. Or lips. Or a hand. Or a fist.

It hurt inside. It pounded like a drum, like a wave. A throbbing beat, with bright sparks of bitter sharp pain flittering about in the cracks. It was a cycle, like the rising of the tide, eating away at him and then coming back for more. Tearing at him, as it had torn at him before, in times he had repressed memory of.

But this made it better. Soft lips and soft skin made it better. Musky hair smell and aftershave smell made it better. He needed this. Things weren't so loud when he had this.

The warmth pooled inside, and now it was pleasant to touch. The need shifted to desire. Amber turned to ruby, bright viral ruby hot and flowing. Licking at the skin, and it was such a strong scent, so heavy and spicy, but so good. And clothing was bad. No more pants.

But cowboy didn't seem to want to take off his pants. How was he supposed to touch if pants were in the way? Need something sharp to cut with…

Nevermind. The chest was a nice area too. And look at that, chest hair. Rinoa didn't have th- no, don't think about her. Think about auburn hair and purple eyes.

Purple? That's odd, they were purple. Sort of an amethyst. He'd never noticed that before.

Cowboy was resisting again. Pushing at him, complaining. Nevermind, not important. The skin tasted too good.

It was soft movements and murmurs, and the floating haze he felt when he closed his eyes. It was a heartbeat below his cheek, fast and growing faster, like a caged bird.

There was something he was supposed to be doing, but the reason had flown away. He wanted this. He wanted it now. Why couldn't he have it? Why?

Why? Why… was he doing this?

The world snapped back into focus. Panic surged and he threw himself for the nearest exit.

"Squall! That's the-"

Branches caught him neatly before he could fall two feet.

"- window…" Irvine's head poked into view, hair mussed and fluffy. "If you wanted to get away that badly, there was a door five feet in the opposite direction."

Squall struggled to pull himself of view of the cowboy's teasing gaze, but the tree resolutely refused to let him go. "Um… help."

An orange streak leaped out the window and landed with a purr on his chest.

"Not you," Squall growled at it, but it just cuddled his shirt more. He turned back to Irvine in time to watch the Galbadian slide out onto the branches with all the casualness of a squirrel.

His skin tingled when Irvine got too close, but he kept from showing it as deft hands unraveled the body limbs and tree limbs knot. It was just a matter of certain branches getting stuck in his leather clothing, almost pathetically easy to undo if you weren't the one stuck. Once free, he assumed to be hauled to his feet and shown how to get back into the room, but Irvine just settled down opposite him and pulled a couple sodas from a hollow in the trunk.

You alright, Squall? Shiva whispered.

I'm fine, I guess. I went crazy again didn't I.

I wouldn't call it crazy, but yes, you did. Was that Irvine you were kissing?

Irvine seemed to be ignoring him after tossing a soda his way, and was staring out into the Training Center.

I don't know why I did that.

Gratitude for what he's done for you, perhaps?

Perhaps. Looking at Irvine was seeing something he hadn't noticed before. The context had changed from 'one of the orphans' to something else. He paid more attention to the way the man sat, the way his hands moved, the light hidden deep behind the eyes. He actually looked when before he hadn't bothered.

Shit. This is like with Rinoa. I didn't notice her at first either.

Squall, you know nothing can come of this. He's engaged and is soon to marry. There will be children and a house.

You think I don't know that? Even ignoring all that, he's a guy! I was kissing a guy. I should be disgusted, right?

Pfft. Humans.

The soda was a bitter concoction of Galbadian design, nowhere near sweet enough, but it was still a welcome distraction. It burned all the way down like liquor. Thinking of beer made him check the ingredient label. Damn. He'd forgotten that ALL drinks from Galbadia were alcoholic. At least the proof was low.

"Squall…" Irvine kept his eyes on the view, but even from the side the mixed emotions could be seen. "This can't happen. I'm engaged, and I'm straight, thank you. I don't…" A deep breath. "…I don't… like you, like that. The kiss… was an accident. This is an accident. And it can't happen again."

Hearing that made something inside ache like a plucked guitar string. He shoved the feeling away and nodded. "I know."

Irvine mimicked the nod with a determined strength. "That said, let's get back inside so we can get this accident over with. I've got condoms in the bathroom."

They bit and fought, kicking and rolling each over and over, falling off the bed and getting back on, throwing each other against the wall, and generally making a mess. Coat and jacket were long gone, probably over in a corner. Gloves were off, shoes were off, belts tossed towards this or that chair. Time had been taken to carefully place the hat where it wouldn't get damaged by over eagerness. They fought fiercely with no reserve, wrestling back and forth in the throes of passion, with only one thought on their minds.

"You do not get to be on top!"

"The fuck I do! Stop… struggling… and take it like a man!"

"Men don't take it, they dish it, and I'm dishing it!"

"You sound… like a moro- fuck that hurt!"

"It wouldn't if you'd hold still!"

"Why don't you… take your own advice!"

"I don't have to, I'm not the one… who's going to be… on bottom!"

"The fuck I am!"

"The fuck you are!"

Grrface had figured out by now that he wasn't invited to play, and was pouting on top of Irvine's coat.

"Give it up, I've got more upper body strength tha- shit, no pressure points! That's cheating!"

"All's fair…stop whining!"

"Oh, who's whining? I'll show you whining!"

They carried on in a similar vein for quite some time. Eventually, after much exhaustion, the mattered was settled by a coin toss, and Irvine glumly relinquished the condoms.

"You're going to have to talk me through it. I've never done this before."

"What, and I have?"

"Well, I just assumed-"

"You assumed wrong, alright? Your end shouldn't be so hard, all you have to do is pretend I'm a girl."

"Irvine, there is no way I could think you're a girl."

"…Are you saying I'm not pretty?"
"I'm not having this conversation. Just… hold still."

"I am holding still!"

"Hold more still!"

"Fine! Shit, Squall, that hurts!"

"Well of course it hurts, I don't think these things were meant to naturally interlock, you know!"

"Aren't you supposed to… do something first? Shit, that stings!"

"Do what? This is how it works with a woman!"

"I'm not a woman! Hyne, I think we need something to make it easier."

"You're just being a baby."

"I am not being a baby! You want to try this and find out what it- fuck Squall! Stop, just stop! I'm not doing this!"

"Well what do you want me to do about it!"

"I don't know! Maybe if you wet it or something!"

"Hang on." Squall stalked to the closet and started rummaging through Irvine's things. The cowboy contemplated whether to complain about the breach of privacy, but couldn't muster up enough indignation while half naked. Finally Squall returned with a bottle and tried to keep from blushing when he opened it.

"I know that smell. Is that Selphie's vanilla lavender hair conditioner?"

"…Yes."

"She's going to kill me."

"It should help. It's like organic WD40 or something…. Um."

"Um what?"

"Do I put it on… me… or…"

"Just put it somewhere!"

"If you crack a joke about me smelling nice I'm going to hurt you."

"If you don't hurry up jokes aren't what I'll be cracking."

"Fine fine. Okay, let's try this."

…

"…That… is the freakiest thing I have ever felt."

"Does it… hurt?"

"Only a little, mostly it's just weird. How's it from your end?"

"…tight…"

"I'm guessing that means goo-woah. Holy Mother."

"…What."

"That was… whoa. Do that again."

"Do what again?"

"Whatever you just did. It was like a push or some- oh sweet Mother of all things Infinite… oh my Hyne…"

"That's… good?"

"Doitagaindoitagain."

"Fine. Hang on."

"Oh Hyne don't stop…"

"That's good?"

"That's… really good. Woah. You feeling this?"

"Think… so… Hey Irvine."

"Uhn."

"That thing… you're doing, where you… um, squeeze?"

"This?"

"Mmgnrh… yeah, that."

"You like that, huh?"

"Do it when I say 'now'."

"Kay."

"…Now."

"Oh dear Hyne."

"Ggkt."

"That was nice."

"…Yeah."

Grrface yawned and snuggled into a pocket on Irvine's coat. What he thought would be a temporary nest turned out to be a jungle of fascinating doodads to explore, and soon the little moomba was happily gnawing on a flash grenade.

"Okay, I'm going to-"

"Hang up a sec. Before we do anything fast, let's get a little more of that conditioner."

"Right. So I just… apply it the same as before?"

"We should probably do both… ends to get the best effect, actually."

"… I'm not sticking my hands there."

"You already stuck your… oh for the love of Major Hutch, give it here. I'll do it."

"Fine."

"…"

"…Wow."

"Wow what?"

"That's… uh…"

"If it bothers you don't look."

"No, it… um… it's kinda…"

"It's kinda what?"

"…turning me on…"

"…Heh, easy hotstuff, don't go jumping the fence without a running start."

"…Don't what?"

"Galbadian thing. You wouldn't get it."

"Clearly."

"It's an inside joke."

"It's a sex innuendo isn't it."

"…Yeah."

"Everything Galbadians say involves sex."

"Not everything. We talk a lot about beer and guns too. And occasionally music."

"Whatever. Back to what we were doing."

"Right."

The intercom on the wall beeped with a flash of red.

"You answer that and I castrate you."

It beeped again.

"Squall…"

"Don't."

It paused, then beeped three times in a row with a strobing light, the signal for a Top Priority call.

"Don't answer it Irvine."

"Not answering it is considered mutiny, Squall."

Grrface stuck his face out of the pocket to see what the strange noise was, lint mixed into his fur.

The intercom kept flashing.

Sighing, Irvine slid out from under a sulking Squall and jabbed the answer button. "Kinneas."

"This is Trepe. Grab your gun and get to the Ragnarok. We've got a mission kit waiting for you."

"What! I'm on medical for Squall!"

"I know. I'm the one that put you on it and I'm taking you off. Squall will be looked after, but you have to get ready to go now."

"Do I have time to ask why?"

"…Timber was just declared a quarantine zone."

Author's Notes – Fun facts about using household items as lubricants.

Chocolate – too sticky, and crystalizes under friction

Soap – BURNS. Also, dries out skin

Butter or Margarine – too hot as a liquid, congeals fast

Vaseline – disintegrates condoms

Gun polish or cleaning fluid – Horrid rashes and PAIN