Pleasantly Depressed Ch 27 – Of Lattices and Paperweights.
By Skandranon
The music started. That was his cue. But he really didn't want to do this.
Zell kicked him, as was his duty, and Irvine reluctantly trudge down the middle of the large room, boots scuffing sullenly on the carpet. His cheeks burned from the snickers he got, and he heard someone mutter "He had to wear the hat."
I really don't want to do this. He slowed to a near stop, and got another kick for it, this time to the thigh. A glance behind showed Zell grinning viciously, ready to carry out his part of the ceremony as much as was needed. Holding back a groan, he slunk his way up to the podium.
He stood before the judge like a condemned man. The elderly fellow snorted, and made a twirling motion with his hand. Zell grabbed his shoulders and spun him around so that he faced the audience. Oh right. This direction. Great, now I have to watch them watching me …Did that guy in the corner just flick me off?
The music changed, cueing the next group. In came Quistis in a blue dress, walking steadily to the beat with pose and grace. She took her place opposite Zell as if stepping up to the winner's circle in a tournament. In came Nida, carrying his little pillow like a sacred artifact. In came the youngest girl of Edea's newly reconstructed orphanage, a darling little thing that he didn't even know the name of, carrying a basket of flower petals. She froze when she saw the crowd, turned bright red, and ran out bawling. Everyone got a good chuckle, and Edea followed her out to comfort the dear.
The music switched to something far more dramatic and recognizable, and everyone turned to face the door.
In came Selphie in white, bouncing and grinning, holding a bouquet.
Sweet burning darkness, I'm gonna faint.
She skipped down the aisle, dragging Cid along by his arm, then remembered she was supposed to do it slower, and walked carefully and solemnly. Then she waved at the faces she recognized in the crowd, and forgot she wasn't supposed to skip, and hopped the rest of the way.
He felt like something had crawled inside his throat and was squeezing his tonsils.
She landed smoothly by the alter and beamed up at him, swinging her flowers bashfully. Cid followed in her wake, shaking his head in amusement.
The priest cleared his throat. "Who gives this girl to this man?"
The Headmaster stepped forward. "On her behalf, I do."
Irvine gnawed the inside of his lip.
The priest nodded, and Cid took his seat.
"We gather here toda-"
Zell stepped a little too far back, tripped over the lighting cord, and knocked over one of the ornamental columns.
"Zeeeeell!"
He caught it, and put it upright. It wobbled, and almost fell over. He put it upright again. "Sorry. Sorry. I'll get it." He set it firmly down, and stepped back, right into the lattice archway. It toppled over, luckily hitting no one as Quistis stepped neatly out of the way.
"ZELL!"
"Sorry!"
Selphie threw down her bouquet in disgust. "Are you going to do this at the real ceremony too!"
"Hey, it's not my fault Broody's too doped to make it! I'm supposed to be the ringbearer you know!" He snorted and leaned against the wall for effect. There wasn't actually a wall there, however, and his fall tore the curtains down.
Selphie let out a squeal of frustration, and marched towards the door. She spun around halfway and marched back down, pecked Irvine, murmured "I do", and returned to her dramatic exit. "Rehearsal cancelled on account of blond idjit!" she called over her shoulder.
Oh thank Hyne.
Quistis jabbed him in the solar plexus. "Go after her."
He found himself pacing up the aisle, as if he actually had a choice in the matter. He cleared the door in time to see a blur of white round a corner in the corner of his eye, and gave chase. A few hallways later, he slumped out of breath beside her on a bench.
"That didn't go like it does in the magazines."
He placed a hand comfortingly on her back. "In theatre, a bad final rehearsal means the real thing will be perfect."
She leaned her weight against him, toying with the pocket on her white jeans. "Life t'is but a play. You think it'll be perfect?"
"You know I do," He whispered in her ear, making her giggle from the tickling. "I told you I didn't want to do the rehearsal."
"But everyone needs to know where to stand."
"Training for standing. We can live without it." He dropped his hand to her waist and squeezed, but his thoughts were already elsewhere. "Since practice let out early, you think you can let me off the leash for an hour?"
"Some other girl's wedding rehearsal you need to attend?" she teased.
"Nah, no one would have me. I promised Kadowaki I'd help her talk to Squall some."
Selphie pouted a lip in sympathy. "Is he doing any better?"
"Honestly, I can't tell under the drugs. I keep trying to convince her to lessen the sedatives, but after the," he flicked his fingers in a quotation gesture, "'attempted Presidential assassination', too many officials are demanding we keep him locked up, chained down, and high as a cloud."
She dug her head into his shoulder, acting guilty. "Squall's going nutso, war's breaking out in Galbadia, and I'm having a stupid wedding rehearsal."
He shrugged, and hissed at the twinge of torn muscles. "People need a little cheer on occasion, especially when the sky's falling down. Didja see how proud Cid was, before you tore his elbow off?"
She sniggered. "Or how vain Quistis was in her new bridesmaid dress. I told her it wasn't a dress rehearsal, but she just had to wear it."
"Well, it is a nice dress, and it's a shame for something like that to be made for only one use."
The pinch burned against recently healed skin, and he jerked upright.
"Uh-uh. I told you, no eyeing other girls or I hurt you. That was the deal."
He rubbed his side glumly. "Wasn't eyeing, was commenting on your taste in fabrics."
"Suuuure." She smirked. "Don't worry, I'll get you housebroken soon enough. You just need a little…" she tapped his thigh, near the groin, "…attitude adjustment."
This new side of Selphie is a little freaky. "I told you no."
"I'm not talking about that. What about a collar?"
"Collar?" He yelped.
"Yeah, like the electric ones that zap dogs when they bark."
"It's supposed to be a gold ring, Selphie, or at least a ball and chain. No collars."
"So, yes to the ball and chain?"
"NO."
She slapped his shoulder lightly. It stung against the bruises. "I'm just teasing you, silly. Now go be a gentleman and keep our poor Commander company for awhile. I'm going to go call the caterer."
"Yes ma'am."
"That's 'Yes Future Misses Kinneas SIR!'"
"How is he?"
Kadowaki didn't turn around. The readout tablet she held was apparently more important than him. "He pulled at the restraints all morning. I held off on sedating him any more, and he's calmed down a little since noon."
Irvine stared through the bulletproof glass of the brig. Squall was a pitiful form, pinned like a butterfly on cardboard. But they'd learned quickly that any relaxing of the security measures led to injury, either Squall's or someone else's.
"Did he say anything else about the drugs?"
The doctor sighed, and punched in a few numbers lethargically. "He refuses to talk to me. I was waiting for you to give me his verdict."
"And if he doesn't speak to me either?"
She shrugged, her expression grim. "Then we decide for him."
Maybe that would be better. How can we force him to make a decision like this? Ward off the worst effects with experimental drugs that turn him into a permanently dazed zombie and maybe worse, or tough it out? "Any news on a cure?"
Kadowaki made as if to speak, but closed her mouth with a sigh and said nothing.
"Doctor?"
She shook her head. "Irvine… there… he should be awake enough to speak with, if you want to go in."
She's avoiding the question. That's got to mean bad news. Do I want to press her for it now, or hold off until later?
"It's bad news?"
She pressed her lips together thinly and didn't reply.
"Doctor."
"Go see him."
Holding off, then. "Yes ma'am." He pawed the door pad and stepped in, nodding a greeting to the guards. "Ernon, Sorce."
"Hey Kinneas. Want we should watch from outside?"
"If you don't mind."
He ignored their salutes and departure, and scooted the only available chair next to the bed. "Hey there Commander."
Squall cracked an eye to stare blearily at him, and tried to roll over to face the wall. Once he remembered that he couldn't, he settled for a glare and shut his eye firmly.
"Hey now, don't be like that. It's not my fault they've got you trussed up."
Squall didn't respond.
It hurt to see him like this. He was too used to seeing Squall as the right-out-of-the-storybook hero that never failed, or as the stubborn, stoic, and grumpy soldier who reluctantly put up with his companions, or in more recent weeks, as the confused and frustrated childhood friend who needed something to hold onto while his world shook. Seeing him like this, as a fragile bedridden creature, or on the flip side, as a dangerous criminal in custody… it gave him sickening lumps in his chest.
"Selphie says she's gonna blackmail Doc into letting you be best man. I say she's crazy and is gonna find herself on medical leave with a thermometer up her…"
Squall wasn't listening.
"You know the meds Doc and I told you about earlier? You think about them any? 'Cause, you know, if you agreed to take them, we could probably get you out of here, at least some of the… time. Squall?"
…
"You think any about them? Come to a decision?"
…
"Squall…" He wanted to hold his hand, but he'd signed a waiver saying no physical contact, on penalty of visitor rights being revoked. "…You've gotta do something. You can't just lay here until the end of the decade."
"…You should've let me die."
His throat clenched up. He found himself trying to scream through it, but nothing came out.
…
"…Fuck you."
Kadowaki didn't look up when he exited. The guards caught his expression and wisely returned to the brig. He hammered the door closed as soon as they'd cleared it.
"Hand me something expendable."
Kadowaki held out a glass sphere paperweight. He took it around the corner of the hallway and hurled it against the bulkhead wall. It didn't break. He snatched it up and threw it again. It didn't break. He pitched it for the nearest window. It bounced off the double paned plastic with a crack, and rolled towards his feet. He punted it down the hallway. It bounced along into the main hall and splashed into the fountain.
He went back into the brig wing of the infirmary. "Hand me something expendable and breakable."
"Give me back my paperweight."
"It's in the fountain."
"Go get it."
"No."
She handed him a jar of cotton wads.
He took it out into the hallway, placed it on the floor, and bore down with his foot. The glass jar crunched in a very attractive manner. He ground it into tiny slivers, which mixed with the cotton. He left it for someone else to clean up and went back inside.
"What's the news on a cure."
"There isn't one, Irvine."
He caught himself before he broke the IV machine, and aimed for the eye chart instead. "Not good enough."
"If there was a possibility, I'd be offering it. There's nothing."
"Surgery. Odine. Something."
"Nothing."
"We can put a man in orbit and we can't fix an amadagla?"
"Amygdala."
"I don't give a flying grat's ass what it's called!"
"I know that."
"There's got to be some far fetched, off the wall something. There's always something."
"No there's not."
"You're not trying hard enough!"
Kadowaki stared him down, and for the first time, he noticed how stiff her posture was. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.
"I asked every neurologist, brain surgeon, mage doctor, chem doctor, and witch doctor, on all continents. There's nothing."
He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself into a breathing ritual to calm his nerves. Once he felt he could keep from cussing, he looked up. "There's no one else to go to?"
"I wish there was."
(Well… there might be…)
…What the…
(…If you were interested in listening.)
Irvine carefully slipped into the nearest chair. "Doc, you have anything for hearing voices?"
Kadowaki glanced at him with newfound attention. "Your GF?"
He shook his head. "Don't have him in. Haven't since…"
(Since you left Timber. Thankfully I caught up to you. Just in time, too, from the sound of it.)
Ifrit?
(Yes.)
I do NOT have you junctioned.
Kadowaki was taking his blood pressure.
(Yes, I'm aware of that.)
Where are you?
(Next to your left foot.)
He glanced down, past the hand Kadowaki was using to feel his forehead.
Grr-face grinned toothily at him. The tiara and diamond rings the moomba was wearing glittered under the harsh medical lighting.
(Hello Irvine. Interested in trying some alternative medicine?)
Author's Note – a lattice is that crisscross wall thing that you grow vine-like plants on, I think. Very popular in wedding decorations.