As Lois approached the door to his apartment, she shoved the printed directions back into her purse and prepared to knock on the door. Before she did, she took a deep breath and a moment to smooth the hair that she hadn't bothered to tame before hastily hopping in her car. And then she wondered – can he see me? The thought sent cold shivers down her body.

She knocked on the door.

He answered practically instantaneously, as if waiting for her knock. This only deepened the disgust that coursed through her body. He was dressed in regular clothes and wore the glasses – the simple frames that served to ridicule her life.

"Lois," was all he said to greet her.

"Clark," she spat back in rebuttal, hoping that he caught the irony in her voice, for the man before her would never be Clark Kent again.

"Come in."

He opened the door wider and she stepped inside. She took a moment to look around the apartment. It was incredibly sparse – a couch, a TV that didn't appear to be hooked up, and a few pictures on an otherwise bare mantel. A few days, before knowing what she knew, this would seem to be exactly the kind of apartment that Clark Kent would live in. Plain. Boring. A few days ago she would feel a pang of guilt for him, for a man who's life seemed so dull and empty.

Now she knew that wasn't true.

He watched her look around the room and process the information. This was where Superman lived. She didn't like this feeling of being watched. But that was exactly what he had been doing all these years; he had invented a whole other persona so that he could spy on her at work.

Lois finally put her hands on her hips and cocked her eyebrows to signal to him that he had better start talking.

"I'm glad you came, Lois… I … I hope that you had a good Christmas." He looked down, avoiding her gaze as he said the last words.

"No. You do not get to say that to me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I guess I should just get to the point. You must have a lot of questions and I want to answer them as best I can."

There were a million things she wanted to ask yet she didn't know where to start. So she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Why don't you have a cell phone?"

He was taken aback by this, obviously having prepared himself for a more difficult question.

Lois knew that the wrath of her interrogation had yet to begin. There would be plenty of time for the harder questions. Maybe it was her years as a journalist that had taught her that it was most effective to start off easy, gain the trust of the interviewee, and then swoop in for the real meat of the story.

Or maybe it was just that this little detail, this annoyance, had eaten at her on her ride over here and she had to know the explanation. Was he above using cell phones, the mode of communication for the mere mortals? Did he just listen in on every conversation, waiting until his name was said aloud, so that he could surreptitiously appear as Clark Kent or Superman? Or was he just so alien that he didn't see why we bothered with this inferior technology?

"I don't have a cell phone because it can be traced. If left it on and flew off somewhere satellites could trace it. It would look suspicious and I don't want to risk that. It's been a bit of an inconvenience for work but so far I've managed to make due."

"For work?" she cried out in disbelief. "You call The Daily Planet work?"

"Yes. It's my job."

"Funny, I thought it was saving people."

"I do both."

How could he be so condescending?

"Why do you mock me? Is this just some sort of elaborate joke? Oh, look at the lengths I can go to in order to fool Lois Lane! Or was it some twisted way to sneak into my life and stalk me?"

"You knew me as Clark before you ever knew me as Superman."

She tried to remember if this was true. She could very vividly recall her first meeting with Superman but she didn't know when she had first met Clark. Her mind was too clouded with anger to remember the details.

"Why? Why?" She demanded hysterically, all her former composure having completely evaporated.

He tried to reach out and comfort her.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled as she pushed away his hand. Her body was now shaking. She had to calm down; he should be the one in hysterics.

After a deep breath she added, "You lied to me."

He backed away. Lois paced around the room, using this pause as an opportunity to regain her self-control. She looked at the few photos on the mantel, all of him and his parents, or at least the people who pretended to be his parents.

"How did you convince that poor woman to pretend to be your mother?"

"She's not pretending," he replied, almost as if he was offended by her question. "That woman is my mother."

"Yeah, right. Did she come from Krypton too?" And for a moment Lois thought that maybe there were others on Earth like him living amongst us.

"No, she's not from Krypton, but she's the only mother I've ever known." She turned to him, perplexed by this answer.

"Listen to me, Lois. I know this is hard for you to believe, but I grew up in Smallville, Kansas. That wasn't a lie. My parents, Martha and Jonathon Kent, found me and took me in. They raised me as there own son…"

"They found you?"

"I was an infant when my biological parents sent me from Krypton. I didn't remember them - or Krypton for that matter."

"You never said anything…in any of the interviews. You never once mentioned that you were sent here as a child. You've been on Earth, what, thirty years?"

"If anyone even suspected that I was raised here on Earth, people would seek out my parents – well, my mother. They would try to use her to blackmail me and I couldn't risk that."

"Look, I get it. That part you made abundantly clear to me before. You always said 'it's too risky for us to be together…if anyone found out…blah, blah, blah'. Its just… if you were really so concerned about the people in your life why be Clark at all?

"I'd go crazy if I had to be Superman all the time. Sometimes all I want is just a normal, everyday life and as Clark Kent I can do that… to a degree."

This surprised her. With power like that, why would one ever want to be normal? If she had the ability to fly, Lois thought to herself, she'd never choose to walk.

"Fine. Let's say that I can understand wanting a normal life. But why Clark? Why do you have to you have act so… so… so Clark Kent-ish?"

He smiled a somber, tortured smile. After a long, deep breath he replied, "I know that this is hard to understand but I am Clark Kent."

He paused, adding extra emphasis to his words.

"When people see me dressed as Superman, all they see is the icon. They see power; they see perfection. And, well, when I'm Superman, when I wear the suit and people look at me that way, it's easy to be confident, it's easy to act the part. But when I'm Clark I try not to be noticed. When people look at Clark… they see a nobody. It's liberating and frustrating all at the same time. I've lived my whole life feeling like I didn't fit in, never knowing the right thing to say. But that's who I really am. I'm just an awkward farmboy. I still feel overwhelmed by the city. Clark Kent is not an act… well, most of it's not an act. You have to believe me when I tell you that this is who I am."

Lois sighed not ready to accept this confession. She pressed on with her questions.

"Why did you have to choose The Daily Planet?"

"I was bitten by the journalism bug just like you. I want to bring truth to the world and right the wrongs that I can't always fight as Superman."

Truth and justice, Lois thought to herself. She should have known that if Superman had a career he'd pick journalism. It just never occurred to her that he'd have a "job" before now.

"So you want me to believe, the strongest, most powerful being in the world is just an awkward farmboy? And that he likes being this awkward farmboy?"

"Yes."

"I need you to do something for me… in order for me to believe it."

"I'd do anything for you,"

"I need you to take me up, take me flying."

He began to pull the glasses from his face.

"No. I want you to take me up as Clark."

He took her hand and escorted her to the glass door leading to the balcony of his apartment. It was dark, so she hadn't noticed it before, but this door and the other windows in his apartment faced a brick wall. It reminded Lois of a story she had read back in high school but she couldn't remember the title.

"Nice view," she jested.

"No windows. I can come and go without anyone seeing."

It made her realize all the precautions he had taken in order to live this life.

He slid the glass door open and they stepped onto his small balcony. She held onto his arms, surprised by the muscles beneath his shirt. Lois braced herself and at the same time, she half expected him, dressed as he was, not to be able to fly.

"Hold on tighter," he instructed. "We're going up fast so no one sees."

And then they began to ascend rapidly. It wasn't like their prior romantic flights. It was sharp and quick and the sheer force was almost painful. But after a few seconds they slowed down and hovered amongst the clouds.

She looked at him, glasses and all, and it finally became real that he was Superman.

The stars were brighter up here away from the city lights; it was calm and for the first time since she had confronted him her thoughts were clear.

"Did you love me?"

"Yes. I've always loved you and I've never stopped."

"Then why didn't you tell me the truth before?"

"I wanted to protect you."

"Bullshit. You slept with me and you still couldn't tell me the truth."

"It was wrong of me, I know."

"Yeah, you think?"

"It was just… I saw the way you were around Superman. You barely noticed Clark. I was afraid you'd never feel the same way about me if you knew we were really the same person. I didn't want to risk losing your love even if it was contingent on a half-truth. I know that sounds selfish."

"It was selfish. You deceived me." And then she thought to herself, Your son was born of that deception.

"I'm sorry for that. I know my actions were inexcusable but you need to know that my whole life has been about restraint, about holding back, and giving up what I want for the sake of humanity. And I've always been OK with this; I've gotten good at it, except when it comes to you. You make me weak."

She looked down at the city lights below and beheld their glory. She was succumbing to the enchantment of the moment, and the power of his words, but there were still too many things she needed to know.

"So when you came back, when you found out you had a son, why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because you seemed happy with Richard. And as Superman, I'll never be able to be there for Jason like Richard could."

"I'm not so sure that's true."

He attempted, unsuccessfully, to hide his delight at her response.

"I mean, he's going to need you to teach him about his abilities."

"I'll be there for him as much as you want me to be," he answered matter-of-factly. He added, "Lois, can I ask you something?"

"Yes," she whispered

"I want you to be happy. I want to be with you, but I know there are complications. Most of all I want what is best for you and Jason. I just… I need to know if you'll ever be able to look at me again the way you used to."

As she floated beneath the stars, holding on to Clark Kent, she experienced a new sense of wonder, a new sense of possibilities. But she had been transfixed by his charm before. Never again, she told herself. Never again will I let him fool me, will I let him hurt me or Jason. The betrayal she felt still ran too deep.

"No, no. I don't think I can." She looked him straight in the eye. "Take me down now."

…..

It was New Year's Eve, only little less than a week since their conversation, the conversation that had changed her life. Clark had been avoiding her at work but she watched him out of the corner of her eye, trying to understand this person - both sides of him.

Lois had managed to avoid confrontation with him throughout the entire workday. She and Richard were about to leave for the evening, when her fiancé called out to Clark.

"Hey, Clark, will we see you at the pub tonight?"

Several people from work were planning to ring in the New Year at a bar down the street from The Daily Planet. Lois didn't want to go but Richard insisted that she should. She had never liked the holiday season, but this year it seemed like the holidays, and their social obligations, would never come to an end. Why did people celebrate the New Year anyway? It's just a new month on the calendar; it's not like things really change.

But then again, everything had just changed for her.

"Oh, I don't think so," Clark replied. "I've got some things to do."

This is the mastermind who outwitted me all these years, Lois thought spitefully to herself.

"Oh, come on," Richard insisted. "You have to come. Everyone'll be there. Lois, tell Clark that he should come."

She shot her fiancé a vengeful look.

"Yes, Clark. You should come."

"Alright," Clark finally agreed.

"You could have sounded more convincing…" Richard said as they entered the elevator. "Don't you want him there?"

"No, not really."

…….

Lois knew that he had overheard her in the elevator and she didn't think he would have the audacity to show up at the pub. But he did. Just as the ball was about to drop, she noticed him standing across the room. Their eyes met for a split second. Before the count down had even ended, she reached over and kissed Richard passionately.

"Wow," her fiancé said as they came up for air amid a haze of champagne and confetti. "Happy New Year to you, too."

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I want us to start fresh this year."

"I like that idea," he replied.

Lois purposely did not look back at Clark. She didn't need to. Instead, she threw her arms around Richard and kissed him again.

The entire pub began ringing with a drunken rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

As she heard the lyrics, she deepened her kiss with Richard and thought - if only, if only.

The end… for now. Be sure to check out my Valentine's Day fic for 12-Days-of-Clois to see what happens next!