Disclaimer: I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.

A/N: Be sure to check out the message at the end of this page and a big 'thank you' to Alexia for beta-ing. :-)

More Than the Eye Can See

-x-

I don't think I will be able to look at him in the same way I did before. How is that possible when something within seems to have changed, shifted, in a way that can't be undone, not even if I tried. Though I don't want to try, I wouldn't have the strength even if I did try. I thought I did before, I know I did before when I could just put my emotions for him on hold by writing down what I felt and how I felt when he would so much as glance at me. What it does to me. What he does to me. Just thinking about the control he has over me makes me wanna pull out my hair in frustration because he isn't even aware of it.

I don't think he has a single clue about what goes through my mind when we have one of our (short) conversations. During those, a flicker of possibility lights up within my reach and gives me hope, though I know that it is always false. It's a flicker that brings to light many memories, too many too simply push aside and forget. It shows me a picture which has long ago faded. It's a picture where I stand on one side and he stands on the other and there's a vague outline of a tear in the middle of it, though it will never be torn. Our friendship may not be as evident as it was before, but it is still there. I know it is or at least I have to believe that it is because that's the only thing that keeps us at where we are.

Where we are... It almost sounds as if we are stuck and maybe in a way, we both are. Stuck in quicksand that keeps pulling us deeper and deeper into the mess that we are in. I guess that I am lying to myself in a way because I know that we are only stuck because we choose to be. I could get out of it all by putting up a fight and reaching for the unattainable, risking all or I can just stay where I am and be satisfied with it. But I have always been a stubborn person with goals that were set on the highest pedestal anyone has ever seen, but I do that on purpose. I thrive on the effort it takes to get there, the hard work. It always gives me a thrill and I always thought that that was the only way to feel satisfied and happy with who I am, no matter how strange that might sound.

But after last night, I know that that same feeling of excitement can be obtained by a simple smile. His smile. I remember the first time I saw him smile, but I don't remember it having such an impact on me. Maybe we didn't know each other well enough back then or maybe I just didn't take the time to notice because I knew that friends were all we were and still are, though my imagination sometimes gets the best of me. It creates these scenarios in my head where all I want is to be near him and to have him pay attention to me, look at me intently as I tell him about what the future may hold for me, conveniently leaving out that he is in that future. I looked up once what those fantasies of mine could mean and apparently I'm afraid of losing him, of living out my future without him in it. I laughed at that the first time I read that, but I quickly realized that he is indeed that important to me, that I would want him within my reach wherever and whenever.

It's odd because though Jess is one of my many friends, I consider him one of the most important people in my life, one of those people that my world would be unstable without. He is way up there on my list, even above my own boyfriend which isn't right, but it's also something that I can't seem to change no matter how much I think about it. It wouldn't even matter if I thought of Jess as just a friend, but I don't... I used to, but somewhere along the way that changed. I remember the day I finally noticed that he meant more to me than even I was aware of.

It was during the beginning of summer, the first day it was hot enough to wear flip-flops and a tank top. I went over to the bridge to read and I expected him to be there, but this time when I saw him I found myself unable to move. You can compare it to suddenly losing your ability to speak or breathe when something captivates you so. That day, he captivated me and for the first time, I wondered what thoughts and emotions could possibly be hiding behind those eyes, what secrets.

He doesn't talk a lot about his past and though I never told him, it hurts that he doesn't trust me enough to tell me about it, about the life he led before this one. When he has one of his bad days where he hurts people too easily by simply ignoring them or acting like a stranger towards them, I always get out of his way, afraid that his words or looks will hurt so that I won't be able to forget them. My sleep is always restless on one of those days because I keep thinking about him, even when I don't want to. I always end up wondering if I had the ability to make him feel better, comfort him. My thoughts would always stray to what would happen if I would just go over to his apartment and climb into bed with him, being careful and silent enough not to wake him. How would he react when he woke up in the morning? At least he would notice me.

I don't even have to look in a mirror to know that I'm smiling right now. That's what he does to me. He stirs my inner turmoil. I wish Dean could make me feel the same way, but I know that he can't live up to expectations that don't exist. He does make me feel special, loved even, but sometimes, I don't know, I guess I feel smothered. It sounds horrible and that's exactly how I feel, but I can't help from feeling and maybe that's my problem...

-x-

Rory reread the penned down paragraphs while chewing on her pen, taking her time to scan each line, sentence, and word, though she didn't care much for the mistakes she came across. These pages were, after all, just a snapshot of her life, a small, maybe insignificant, piece of evidence of how she had felt right at that particular moment when she had decided to write it down and every mistake she had made was a part of that moment, of that distinct memory. By the mistakes she could tell if she had written everything down in haste, without really thinking about it or if she had actually given it all some consideration, though she always tried to keep her mind blank while writing, letting the words come to her as they were. Often she found that hard to do and sometimes even impossible because a stray thought would distract her, causing her to scribble down words with more care.

She reached the last line. It seemed as if she had planned on continuing and wasn't done yet which in a way she wasn't. She could spend hours jotting down and analyzing her own thoughts and concerns, but she could never capture every single one of them. Her mind processed her thoughts faster than she could write them down and her emotions often changed so fast that most of the time she was too late to put them into words, thought she did always try.

She could relive her childhood by flipping through pages. She had recorded everything of importance to her from the day her mom had gotten her a diary for her tenth birthday, though she had stubbornly chosen to refer to it as a journal. A book to write her secrets in - secrets like the time she lied to her best friend's mom so she and Lane could visit the biggest record store they had ever seen in New York, or the time she 'borrowed' a book from Jess, but liked it so much that she never returned it, and the time she had her first daydream about a boy, ironically enough it had been about Dean, her boyfriend.

Rory closed the book, feeling that it wasn't right to leave it open for some reason. She removed the pen from the corner of her mouth and dropped it onto her bed. Her hands were cramped from writing. She wiggled her fingers a few times before pushing herself up into a sitting position with the help of her elbows. Her eyes found her window within an instant and she was glad to see that it wasn't raining anymore. The rain had woken her up this morning and it hadn't stopped until now. She got up from her bed and reached for the nearest sweater, relieved that she could get out of the house to get a cup of coffee.

She finished pulling the sweater over her head while closing the door behind her and she pulled the sleeves down over her hands while heading for the sidewalk, blending into the scene perfectly with its grim background. The whole town seemed to be hidden underneath a thin blanket of raindrops. The sky was a light shade of gray, darkened here and there with even thicker clouds, puddles were scattered throughout the entire town, and the smell of wet leaves lingered everywhere, not matter where you entered; it would slither in through every invisible crack. This kind of weather always made people restless, unable to sit still and focus on just one thing, instead they drank hot chocolate while reading and watching TV, making up lists in their heads at the same time. No one left their house unless they ran out of hot chocolate, tea or coffee, like she had and she was glad to escape the harsh wind by retreating into the heated quarters of Luke's diner.

The bell above the door jollily rang as she entered, reminding her of an old Christmas song, though she probably wouldn't remember the words until it was that time of the year again. Rory made her way over to the counter and sat down with a mirthful smile - a smile she always wore during this type of weather.

Luke noticed her smile, but had enough experience not to ask for the reason behind it because most of the time it wouldn't make any sense to him.

''Hey, Rory, what can I do you for?'' he asked, looking back up at her when he didn't immediately get an answer. She was looking at him, the smile still in place, though the mirth had been replaced by something else, by all knowing amusement. He threw her a look, signaling her to say what was on her mind, bracing himself.

''Dirty,'' she finally said.

Luke glared at her, though a smile hadn't been that far from breaking through. ''I swear, you get more and more like your mom every day.''

''Thank you.''

''Just tell me what you want.''

''Coffee please,'' Rory politely requested.

Luke rolled his eyes as he reached for an empty cup. ''Are you still studying?''

''Yeah, I just needed a break and my break always includes coffee so...''

''Did you get home okay last night?'' Luke asked, continuing with the small talk as he grabbed the coffeepot.

''Yep, I got home in one piece.''

''And your mom?''

''She got home this morning and has been sleeping ever since. I'm sure that she will drop by as soon as she wakes up and realizes that she hasn't had any coffee for almost 12 hours,'' Rory answered.

''Must be a new record for her,'' Luke murmured.

Rory softly laughed, but stopped when Jess came stumbling through the curtains that separated the stairs from the diner. She quickly took in his casual appearance before returning her gaze to Luke, not wanting to catch his eye for the wrong reasons.

''Hey, Luke, can you make that coffee to go, please? I still have some studying to do and I can drink the coffee on my way home so I won't waste any time,'' she rambled, realizing that she was nervous.

Both Luke and Jess glanced at her, though they didn't say anything. Luke just poured the coffee into a paper cup and handed to her.

''Thanks,'' she said as she reached for it. ''See you later, Luke.''

''Yeah, don't study too hard.''

''I won't.'' Rory said.

She stole one more look at Jess, pretending to be interested in the book he was holding, something he didn't miss, though his eyes didn't leave the book until she was already out the door.

-x-x-x-

Rory held the cup between both of her hands, only her fingers revealed as she took a sip of her coffee, trying to take in its smell as she did, but the smell of the rain overpowered once again, like it had sent all of the other ones down the drain. It was a smell that stood for second chances and maybe even new beginnings. She wondered if she wanted all of that. Wasn't she content with what she had? Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Dean cross the street and head in her direction. Wasn't she content with him?

She came to a halt and smiled at him as she waited for him to approach. She opened her mouth to greet him, but was cut of by him as he leaned in and kissed her, taking her by surprise, though she expected it. When she returned the gesture, she could even taste the rain on his lips, erasing the usual taste of peppermint, which he often found himself chewing on, and honey, which was the flavor of the tea he drank every morning. He always tasted like familiarity. They both pulled back with a smile on their face.

''You taste like coffee,'' Dean said.

''Good coffee, right?''

Dean smiled and fell in step with her as she started to walk again.

''Where are you heading?''

''Home.''

''Are you heading home for anything in particular?'' he asked.

Rory threw a sideways glance at him. ''Why do you ask?''

''Well, I'm on my way to meet some of my friends at the old basketball court and I was thinking that maybe you could come and watch.''

''Hmm,'' was all Rory said before taking another sip of her coffee.

''Is that a yes or a no?''

''That's a maybe,'' Rory explained.

''A maybe?''

''Yeah, I mean, it's cold and wet and I still have some more studying to do.''

Dean snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer so he could nuzzle his face against her neck. ''So study there, please?'' He kissed the soft skin at the nape of her neck.

Rory smiled as his lips brushed against her skin once more before giving in.

''Okay, but we have to stop by my house first so I can get my stuff.''

-x-x-x-

Rory looked up when a drop of rain hit against the pages of her book. She looked up at the sky, noticing how much darker it was than a couple of hours ago. She quickly closed her books, knowing that it wouldn't be long before the clouds would be on their heaviest and break. The guys on the basketball court realized this, too and their game came to an abrupt end as they each went their separate ways. Dean headed over to her, carrying the ball with him.

''Do you want me to walk you home?'' he thoughtfully offered, though Rory refused by shaking her head.

''No, I'll be fine and I don't want to risk you getting wet by walking me home first.''

''Are you sure?'' Dean asked.

''Positively. Now go, I'll see you later.''

''You will,'' Dean said before leaning in and placing a kiss on her forehead. ''Bye,'' he said before walking off.

Rory watched him until he was out of sight, then she did finally get up and headed for her house, hoping that it would remain dry until she had reached it, but of course, she didn't have such luck. She never did. It started with a steady dripping and ended with the rain pouring down on her, soaking her from head to toe in seconds as she tried her best to keep her books from getting too wet. She let out a frustrated sigh as she ran one of her hands through her hair. When she pulled it back, she was surprised to see that it had stopped raining or so she thought because though she couldn't feel the rain anymore, it was still falling down from the sky. Confused, she looked up and saw the large and protective canvas of an umbrella. She turned her head sideways and once again, came face to face with Jess.

His lips were curled up slightly in amusement. ''Hello to you, too.''

''What are you doing?'' she asked.

''Well,'' Jess started, ''this is an umbrella and right now I am holding it. It's easy, anyone can do it once they've found the right angle.''

Rory rolled her eyes at his answer, aware of the drops of water that fell from her lashes and rolled onto her face. ''You know what I mean.''

''Do I?'' Jess countered.

''Jess.''

He turned his eyes away from her to look at something in the distance. ''I woke up this morning and decided to be a gentlemen for a day.''

''You are impossible,'' Rory murmured.

''And you are wet,'' Jess said, stating the obvious, ''and your books would have been, too, if it wasn't for me.''

''My hero.''

They walked in silence for a few minutes before one of them said another word.

''I was on my break,'' Jess said.

''I'll thank Luke for that later,'' Rory said as she met Jess's eyes once more.

''You do that,'' was all he said before he turned his eyes away again.

They reached her house where Rory mumbled a 'thank you' before hurrying up the steps and disappearing into the house where she would change her clothes first before returning to her earlier position on the bed.

Jess, for some reason, found himself having the urge to go after her. It was something he couldn't explain and it made him wonder if something was there. Maybe it had been there all the time, but they had been too blind to see it.

These last few days he hadn't been blind, he had watched her watching him time and time again, not fully understanding why she did. He knew that if there was indeed something there, he would have to reveal it to the both of them because he knew her, he had known her for years.

REVIEW! Please? :-) I know, this was bad. I really tried to make it better and make this chapter more exciting, but no matter how hard I tried, I kept coming back to this version. I am slowly working out the plot and this is still a part of the introduction so I hope you'll just stick with me to see how it'll evolve. The plot is still a little blurry to me, but after the first few chapters I think I know exactly where I'm headed.

This seemed to have become a standard message at the bottom of every one of my fics, but I am just saving you the 'agony' of wondering... Anyway, for anyone of you that cares, I also updated my Trory Torn, my Roswell fic Alienated,and I put up a new Trory one parter, Follow My Lead. So, if you have the time or interest... Thanks :-)