Drake and Josh

Episode 02: Drake's New Dog

The Two Boxes

"You know, if you have pets, you have to be responsible," said Josh.

"The best thing about pets is to like, just let 'em go free and tear the house apart," sniggered Drake.

"You see, I had this pet turtle, Sheldon," said Josh.

"I used to have this parrot named Pleke," said Drake.

"I forgot to feed him and he… expired," said Josh.

"I opened up his cage once and he pooped on Megan," said Drake, lying back on his couch.

"And that's why you have to look after your pets," finished Josh.

Suddenly, Drake's couch emitted an electric shock, causing him to jump and fall on the floor. "Megan!" he said.

Introduction

If you open up your mind,

It's gonna take some time

To read a…! OW!

Drake was practicing his song when a tomato came flying into his face. "Megan!" he screamed, rushing through the door. He slipped on a banana peel and came sliding down the stairs, knocking down Josh as he went.

"Drake," said Josh, "Would you mind GETTING OFFA ME!"

"Ooh, sorry," said Drake, "Megan flung a tomato into my face."

"I can see that," said Josh, "Listen Drake, Mindy's coming for dinner tonight and I've got to go and get some shopping stuff for mom. Could you set up the table, please?"

"Alright, but it'll be twenty bucks," said Drake.

"Ten," said Josh.

"Fine," said Drake. He opened the kitchen door and walked in, slipping on a second banana peel and falling down.

The Story

Drake started fixing the table. But of course, this was Drake, so he put the napkins unfolded, the plates unwashed and the table mats crooked and lumped.

"Drake!" called his mother, "Could you please take out the trash?"

Drake grabbed hold of the trash sack and carried it to the trash can. He dumped in the contents and saw a bitten piece of baloney in the can. He pocketed it and was about to go into the house when a loud whimper came from the bushes.

"Josh?" said Drake as he creeped forward. A lowly bark answered through the bush.

"Megan, this isn't funny," whimpered Drake.

He swept aside the leaves on the hedge to reveal a dog, crying in pain at a nail stuck in its paw. Drake tugged at it. He pulled it three times, and then it went flying over the fence.

"MY BOTTOM!" screamed their neighbor.

"Sorry, sir," said Drake, before picking up the dog and running into the house.

--------------------------------------------------

Josh walked down the lane, singing the "Drew and Jerry" theme song. Suddenly, he heard a bark from inside the house. He rushed in, dropped his groceries on the floor and sped up the stairs.

"Drake, where's the dog!" asked Josh.

"Here," said Drake, "Mom said I could keep him."

"Alright, you," said Josh, pointing at the dog, "O-U-T! OUT!"

"Er… out is spelled O-W-T," said Drake.

"Drake-wha!"

"Okay, forget spellings, why do you want to throw out my pet?" asked Drake.

"Because Mindy's afraid of dogs," said Josh.

"Don't worry, the dog stays up here, I keep it under control, you finish your date, that's all there is."

"Alright, thanks Drake," said Josh.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Josh rushed down the stairs, answered the door and embraced the guest, calling, "Hello, Mindy!"

He let go and then saw, in his horror, a policeman standing at the door. He placed a "Get mental surgery" ticket in Josh's hand, told him that the bills were overdue, and walked away, whistling.

Josh looked at the ticket and called out, "I don't need surgery! I'm in the HONOR ROLL!"

"Of all the boobish brothers," said Megan, walking past.

--------------------------------------------------

When the bell rang half-an-hour later, Josh opened the door and greeted Mindy. The two sat down to dinner and talked. Drake walked into the kitchen and grabbed a box of dog biscuits that his mother had bought earlier.

"Uh, Josh," asked Mindy, "Why do you have dog biscuits in the house?"

"Oh, for my new do-" started Drake, but Josh interrupted.

"For… for Drake's new… er…. do…dol...phin." staggered Josh.

"Dolphin?" asked Mindy.

"Yeah," said Josh, "Drake has this new… dolphin…. and it told Drake that it liked dog biscuits."

"Told Drake?" asked Mindy.

"Uh," said Josh. He quickly dropped the subject and asked, "You want some more salsa?"

"On my pudding?" asked Mindy.

"Oh, jeez," sighed Josh.

--------------------------------------------------

Drake gave the dog some dog biscuits. Suddenly, it jumped off the couch and leapt through the door, barking like mad. It rushed down the stairs. Drake slipped on the dog's pee and landed at the bottom of the stairs. The dog rushed towards the kitchen, barking.

"Hold on doggy!" cried Drake as he made a pounce for the dog. The dog pooped in Drake's face and knocked him back.

Josh was lucky, because Mindy chose that moment to go to the washroom. She left through the western door as the dog rushed in and wolfed down Josh's pudding. Drake walked in and lifted the dog up.

"Dude, your face is covered in-" started Josh.

"I know," muttered Drake.

--------------------------------------------------

After washing his face, Drake walked into the room to see the dog chewing his song CDs.

"Okay, you know what?" said Drake, "It's time for you to leave."

The dog whimpered innocently.

"Okay," said Drake, strictly, "OUT. NOW!"

The dog barked and leapt into Drake's bed. It peed before leaping down and speeding through the door again. The dog sped through the hallway as Drake chased him. It entered Megan's room and grabbed hold of the doorknob with its mouth. It slammed the door and Drake bumped into it. He stumbled backwards onto the floor.

--------------------------------------------------

Josh walked up the stairs having used the washroom as an excuse to check on Drake. He saw his brother lying on the floor.

"Where's the canine?" asked Josh.

"We don't have any cow eggs left in the house," said Drake.

"What?" said Josh.

"Canines are cow eggs, right?" asked Drake.

"Where's the DOG?" asked Josh.

"Dogs come from cow eggs?" asked Drake.

"Cows don't lay eggs!" said Josh, opening the door.

Drake got up and followed Josh into Megan's room.

"The room's empty," said Josh.

Drake looked out of the window.

"Is he there?" asked Josh, peering over Drake.

Suddenly, the duo heard a loud bark. In fear, they jumped forward, right out of the window, screaming "AAAH!"