Drake and Josh

Episode 04: The School Bully

The Two Boxes

"Josh may have more IQ than me," said Drake, "But he has issues with picking his actions."

Josh was helping a customer at the premier. "Alright," he said, "The Megathon dollars will be ten bars. I…I mean the vice versa and… oh, jeez."

"That affects life as well," said Drake, "Not saying education does."

"Thank you," said Josh, cheerfully, "Movie enjoy the plea… A spoon!"

"Josh needs to shake off his awkward sense," said Drake.

A man grabbed all of Josh's money from his hand and Josh said, "Hey! Stealing is against the-"

The man looked hardly at him and he squeaked with a forced smile, "Enjoy your burglary!"

Introduction

"Hey, guys what are you watching?" inquired Josh, walking in from upstairs with a Maths book.

"Home videos," replied Drake, "This is the part where you learn how to ride a bike."

"Yeah," said Megan, "On your first try, you fell into the park's lake. Be careful, things repeat themselves," she added darkly, an evil smile coming up.

"Hey, that's personal! PERSONAL!" roared Josh, grabbing hold of the remote. He accidentally hit the 'Next' button instead of 'Stop.'

"This is when Josh took his first shower," said Walter.

"Hey, Josh," sniggered Drake, "You're not wearing any-"

"I KNOW!" shouted Josh.

The Story

Drake was resting on a plastic chair drinking some lemonade. Josh was experimenting with his catapult.

"Aren't you done with that machine yet?" asked Drake.

"Yeah, I'm adjusting it for further range."

"Can I try it?" asked Drake.

"Sure. We just need something to fling," replied Josh.

Drake grabbed Megan's piece of pie and placed it on the catapult. He launched it too fast, and Josh pushed him away and took control of the catapult.

"Drake, you have to wait a little before you do that," he explained, "The pie's gone too high."

Suddenly, Butch, the school bully, came walking up to the duo with pie all over his head.

"Josh Nichols!" he exclaimed, seeing his classmate at the catapult, "You flung a pie into my cranium while I was beating up Eric! I was proposed the loser! And against that punk too!"

"You're getting married?" asked Drake.

"I don't think he meant that 'propose'." said Josh.

"There are two proposseses?" asked Drake.

"What kind of word is that?" asked Megan, snatching away Drake's pie while walking past.

"Listen up, Nichols," warned Butch, "You're a new target on my list, and trust me, I maintain it."

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At school, Josh walked up to the lunch lady and asked her for food.

"So, what do we have today?" asked Josh.

"Broccoli," she replied, "And radish and peas and some chicken."

"Chicken please," said Josh.

She placed some uncooked chicken on Josh's plate and said, "Don't expect any better."

Josh stared blankly at the food, smiled weakly and walked over to a table. He sat down and leapt off his chair with a scream at the sound of Butch's voice. He recovered and sat on his chair.

"Look!" cried Butch, "Oprah!"

"What? Where?" cried Josh, leaping up.

Butch grabbed Josh's bottom and wrenched up his underwear. He walked away, leaving Josh wedged up to his neck.

Drake stopped by and asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah," said Josh, weakly, "Everywhere but the gluteus…maximus…" With that, he fell unconscious onto the floor.

Drake bent down and waved his hand in Josh's face. He looked to make sure nobody was looking, and then quickly took out thirty dollars from Josh's wallet.

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Josh walked into the room and saw Drake working on something.

"Man, what a day," he said, "Butch found me at the premier, and…are you DOING YOUR HOMEWORK!"

"You wish!" sniggered Drake, "I'm writing a song."

"Should've figured," said Josh, nodding his head.

"So what did Butch do?"

"He gave me another wedgie and used my underpants to hang me from a light bulb," he replied, "It took seven people to get me down. Then, Butch punched me I the face and I fell into a heap of garbage that Gary was dragging out!"

"Say," said Drake, flicking his finger, "Maybe if you squeal on him, the teachers will punish him!"

"You want me to shout on top of Butch's head?" asked Josh.

Drake slapped his brother and said, "No! I mean tell on him."

"But I have no evidence," he said.

"Exactly," said Drake, pulling out a video camera, "Not yet."

Megan stood outside and listened to the conversation. She nodded her head with a snigger and muttered, "Poor little boobs."

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Josh stood in the hall reading his Physics book. Drake hid behind the drinking fountain with a camera.

"Hello, Josh," said Butch, marching in. He thrust Josh's Physics book aside and pushed him against the wall. He lifted Josh up and dropped him on top of the drinking fountain. Josh staggered onto Drake and the camera rolled into Butch's view. Butch smirked and pounced towards the camera. Josh tugged it away and looked at Drake.

"Now?" asked Josh.

Drake watched as Butch got up.

"We run," said Drake.

The two staggered out of the school and rushed homewards.

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The next day, Drake, Josh and Butch stood in the office. Josh placed the tape he had picked up and played it.

Drake and Josh smiled. Suddenly, Josh saw Drake burst into giggling laughter. The principal looked disturbed.

"What?" asked Josh. He looked at the screen to reveal a small boy cycling through the park and fall off. The bike fell into the pond.

"Megan!" said Josh.

"So," said the principal, "You're telling me Butch dressed up like a bike and threw you off?"

"No…I…I…" started Josh, "Wait a minute! Drake, give me your cell phone!"

"Alright, here," he said, tossing it at Josh.

Josh missed the catch and the cell phone burst into sparks. Josh staggered and grabbed hold of the school telephone. He quickly dialed the number and Megan answered.

"Hello," she said, "Parker, Nichols and Boob residence."

"Okay, Megan," said Josh, "We need that video of Butch! What's with replacing it with my personal affairs?"

"Josh, it's at the shower part," sniggered Drake.

"It's personal? I put it on the internet one week ago," said Megan.

"You what! Bring that video here NOW or else…or else you'll wake up tomorrow morning very confused in Cuba!" said Josh.

"My joke," said Megan, hanging up.

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Megan walked in with the video tape.

"Megan? Where are mom and dad?" asked Drake.

"Not here. I came on Josh's bike. I threw it into the pond if you were wondering where it is," she replied.

Megan put the tape in and Drake pushed the 'Play' button.

Butch did not have a very happy moment.

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Drake and Josh walked out of the office triumphant, smiling.

"HUG ME, BROTHA!" cried Josh, and they did.

Suddenly, in the middle of their celebration, Drake's smile faded into a serious look.

"You owe me a cell phone," he said, and walked off.

"Darn!" said Josh, thrusting his hand upwards. Josh's fist hit Butch in the face as the latter walked out, and he chased Josh away.