Drake and Josh
Episode 08: Calling Sick
The Two Boxes
"You know, you should never be dishonest," said Josh.
"Being dishonest can help, but it has its disadvantages," said Drake.
"For example, Drake told mom that he did his homework," said Josh.
"Like the time I entered a pure bred dog for a pet show for lower bred pets," said Drake, lying back.
Josh came out from behind the counter in the Premiere and said, "When mom found out he had lied, she made him sleep in the bathtub."
"When the judge finds out, he runs towards me with a baseball bat," said drake.
"That night I finally managed to sleep without hearing Drake's hog-like snores. SNORES!"
"Luckily, the judge mistook Josh to be me, so he started to whack him with the broom," said Drake.
"It just goes to show," said Josh.
"Let me tell you something I learnt that day," said Drake.
"Honesty is the best policy," concluded Josh.
"Josh being beaten up by an old man in a blue tuxedo is far more fun than winning a pet show," sniggered Drake.
Introduction
The alarm clock began to ring and Josh hit the button to turn it off. He drowsily got out of bed and put on his slippers.
"Drake! Wake up!" he called.
Drake took his blanket off and asked Josh to bring up some hot milk.
"Why?" asked Josh, standing at the door.
"Just do it," said Drake, pulling the blanket over himself. Josh looked suspiciously at him as he walked out and Drake picked up a thermometer and began to fiddle with it. He then took a glass of water and messed up his hair. Drake was climbing his bed when Josh came in and shouted, "I've got the milk!"
Drake, alarmed at the sudden sound, fell onto the floor.
Josh looked at Drake and said, "Where do I leave the milk?"
The Story
Josh walked towards the washroom when Audrey asked, "Hey, where's Drake?"
"Still in bed," said Josh.
"Okay, I'll go wake him up," said Audrey, "Or else he'll miss school."
Josh went into the washroom and Walter screamed.
Josh rushed out with an "Aww, I'll knock next time!"
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"Drake!" shouted Audrey, waling into the room, "Get up! You'll miss school!"
"Uh, mom," said Drake in a weak tone, "I don't feel too good."
"What do you mean?" asked Audrey, picking up a thermometer and placing it under Drake's tongue.
"Mom! Look! It's a uh… distraction!" shouted Drake, pointing to the other end of the room. As Audrey looked away, Drake grabbed a pillow and slammed it on her face when she turned towards him. Drake grabbed the thermometer and dipped it in the hot milk. When Audrey managed to struggle free, Drake threw the cup out through the window.
"What was that all about?" inquired Audrey.
"Oh, uh, my stomach felt… err… sticky!"
"You know what?" said Audrey, "I think you should stay in bed for today."
"No, mom!" said Drake, acting, "I have to got school!"
"Drake!"
"Okay."
As Audrey walked out, Josh walked into the room, all dressed for school. He picked up a school-bag from the chair and asked Drake, "Drake? What's wrong?"
"Shh, man," said Drake, "I'm skipping school. Pretty clever, eh?"
"You lied to mom?!" exclaimed Josh.
"No," said Drake in an annoyed tone, "I just told her a false sentence."
"Just for the record," said Josh, "I do not APPROVE OF ANY OF THIS!"
Josh walked towards the door while looking at his brother angrily. He didn't see where he was going; and bumped into the door and fell down. As Josh got up frustrated, Drake said, "You know the door was clo-"
"I KNOW!"
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Walter walked into Drake's room with Megan. Drake was using Josh's laptop.
"Uh, Drake?" asked Walter, "We're going to Mystic Mountain."
"Really?" said Drake, throwing his blanket off, excited.
"Yes," said Audrey walking in, "But by 'we'…"
"You're not included," finished Walter.
"What?"
"You're sick, boob," said Megan, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box on the table, "And mom doesn't want you to throw up."
"Listen," said Audrey, "Josh'll be here if you need anything. He has to work on his school project."
Audrey, Walter and Megan left as Josh walked in with a set of apparatus. Drake shrugged and jumped off his bed as his parents and sibling left.
"Where're you going?" asked Josh.
"To Ginger's house," said Drake, "Her parents are out on Saturday mornings."
"What? I'm not letting you go out," said Josh.
Drake picked up Josh's volcano project and threatened to throw it out through the window.
"You're not that evil!"
Drake dropped the project down and a man shouted up, "OUCH!"
"You were saying?" asked Drake.
"THAT TEARS IT!"
Drake and Josh found themselves in a struggle against each other, and fell on the couch in a heap. As they were punching each other, Josh suddenly asked, "Hey, you feel something cooking?"
"Yeah," replied Drake, sniffing the air.
Suddenly, the duo leapt off the couch as a hot zap of electricity shocked their bottoms.
"Megan!"
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The next day, Audrey was sitting on the couch knitting when Drake walked into the room towards the exit.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"I've gotten a date," said Drake.
"You're supposed to be in bed," called Josh from the kitchen. He was working on his volcano project.
"Who asked you?" argued Drake, rushing into the kitchen and pushing down Josh. In the process, Josh's volcano erupted and a spurt of hot salsa fell on their face. The duo yelled in pain and tried to brush it off. Drake grabbed a bottle of cold Moca Cola and poured it over himself.
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"What's up?" asked Josh, walking in with his project and placing it on the table.
"I'm missing a date with Jill, that's what's up!" complained Drake.
"That's what happens when you skip school," smiled Josh.
"What's so funny?"
"What?"
"This isn't funny!" shouted Drake, throwing a baseball at him. Josh dodged it and it hit his project. Hot salsa spurted up and Josh ran backwards.
"Drake… waah!" cried Walter as he walked in. The salsa splashed in his face and he fell backwards.
"Yeah?" asked Drake.
"The doctor's here," said Walter, as Audrey walked in followed by the money-hungry doctor from down the road. The doctor climbed up on the bed and put his stethoscope on Drake's heart.
"Hmm… I've never seen this before. How do you feel?"
"I think my liver is jammed up my intestine," said Drake.
Josh stared blankly at his brother's obtuseness as the doctor observed and suddenly pulled out Drake's tongue.
"Mly tlong!" shouted Drake.
"By the looks of it," said the doctor, "You should give him this medicine." He handed Walter a medicine slip. "It should help him out, but it could cause bladder issues."
"Bladder issues?!" exclaimed Drake.
"If it'll help Drake," said Audrey, "It's okay."
"Hundred dollars," said the doctor.
"Fifty," said Walter, taking out his purse.
"Okay," said the doctor.
"You have change for two hundred?" asked Walter giving him two hundred dollars and putting his hand out for change.
The doctor did not pay the change. He simply ran towards the window and jumped out. Drake and Josh stared at each other, their mouths gaped in awe.
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"First I can't go to Mystic Mountain, then I miss a date, and now I have to take medicine which makes me go pee," said Drake.
"You know, you wet the bed last night in your sleep," said Josh, "And how many times do you have to destroy or erupt my volcano project, anyways?"
"Never mind that," said Drake, "Tomorrow I'm telling mom and dad that I feel okay."
Suddenly, the telephone rang. Drake received it and heard Jill's voice, "Hello, Drake. You missed your date yesterday. Do you want to come over to my house? I've gotten that new movie, 'Drew and Jerry Go Hollywood' on DVD."
"Whoa, seriously?" asked Drake, "I'm on my way. Bye."
Drake grabbed a ladder and put it out through the window.
"Drake!" warned Josh.
Drake put his foot on the top rung and Josh wrestled him back into the room.
"You will not SNEAK OUT!" he shouted.
"Yeah," said Drake, "You want your volcano blown up again?"
"Burglar!" shouted Josh, pointing at the window. There, a robber reached out and picked up Josh's laptop. He climbed down the ladder and Drake and Josh chased him. They ran into the park and Drake managed to grab hold of the burglar. The two struggled; and suddenly both of them fell headfirst into the pond.
"I'll get the police!" shouted Josh, running off.
The burglar climbed onto land but Drake pulled him back in. The laptop was on the ground as the struggle had caused the burglar to drop it. A policeman came alongside Josh. He picked up the burglar and told them how dangerous he was.
"Anyways," said the policeman, "Here's a hundred…"
"Dollars?" asked Drake and Josh, excited.
"Cents," said the policeman handing them one hundred cents. He walked away whistling and Drake said, "I get to keep it."
"No! I saw the burglar first! Therefore, it rightfully belongs to me!"
"No way, man! I caught the burglar."
"Ho ho! You wanna tussel?"
Drake and Josh ran at each other and were engaged in a battle. They fell backwards into the lake. Then, Helen, who was jogging by, saw the laptop and hundred cents on the ground. She picked them up and jogged off.