It's Raining Naked Men

Harry Potter Fanfic

by EC and Shanchan

Authors Notes:

First off, the disclaimer: we don't own the character and so we're not taking credit for their creation. PLEASE don't hurt us. Secondly, we take credit for all the insanity that occurs in this story. If you steal our ideas, we'll strip you naked, gut you like a fish, and pulverize your intestines and bury it underneath our octopus tree. And Finally, THANK YOU FOR READING OUR LITTLE STORY. If you give us FEEDBACK, we'll LOVE YOU forever!

Chapter 1
"Okay...so where do I begin?" Harry asked again. Then, he remembered, "Oh, right…it might be best if you start out the story Ron. I wasn't there for the beginning remember?"

Ron gave him this look that said exactly what he thought about that, and Hermione interjected softly, "Why don't you tell the story Harry? You've heard it enough by now that you could probably tell it better then either of us. That and you are such a lovely storyteller…have I told you that before?"

Harry flushed happily, even though he wasn't sure if Hermione exactly meant everything she had just said. But it didn't matter. He simply nodded in agreement. "So it all started in January about three years ago…"

When January, that cold and sleepy month in which nothing of importance ever happens, rolled around, Hogwarts was consumed by both the growing epidemic of renewed studying and a general lethargy that seemed to permeate the entire student body.

It was snowing that particular early Friday morning, and Ron felt the chill penetrate his bones. Crawling out of bed, he went down to the commons and promptly fell asleep next to the fireplace. When he first stirred from his slumber the snow had stopped. Still slightly disorientated by the remnants of sleep he was comforted by something warm and elusively soft near his bare feet. He shoved his feet back, instinctively reaching for the warmth.

"MEOW!" whatever Ron had just kicked screamed in complaint, and Ron's eyes burst open as Crookshanks leapt out of the way, glaring reproachfully at him.

That sound, unfortunately, alerted Hermione, who had been buried in her History of Magic notes. Sensing her cat was in danger, the bushy haired girl ran to rescue it from Ron's evil clutches. "How dare you hurt Crookshanks you big oaf!" The girl yelled as she scooped up her cat and gave her friend a seething look.

Ron glared back, not finding Hermione's shouts particularly conducive to waking up. "It's not MY fault your bloody cat wanted to be my foot warmer! How was I supposed to know he was there?"

"Ron, why can't you just admit you're wrong for once? Look at him, he's so cute! Can you really hate a cat this cute?" She shoved the cat into Ron's face.

Ron blinked in surprise. One second he was only aware that the cat named Crookshanks (who he had never particularly cared for anyway) was uncomfortably close, and the next thing he knew the cat's mouth and his lips had touched.

"Eeeew! Cat slober!" Ron groaned, taking an involuntary step back while wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and spitting continuously onto the floor.

When he looked up he found, to his great surprise, that Hermione was no longer holding the obnoxious, oversized furball, but was awkwardly half hugging a tall, young man with flaming red hair and deep blue eyes. The bushy-haired girl looked shocked and the three of them stood there and blinked at each other stupidly.

As Ron gaped at the spot where Crookshanks just was, the young man currently standing in the cat's stead waved and said, "Er…hi?"

Harry stopped for a moment to search the faces of the crowd. Everyone had quieted down and had been raptly paying attention to him. Even Ron had gotten into the story despite himself.

"And that's when you come in Harry, if I remember correctly," Ron quickly prompted him with a laugh when Harry made no move to begin the story again after the short pause.

"What do you mean, where I come in?" Harry asked warily. To himself, he wondered if Ron was really about to tell the crowd of people exactly what everyone had been teasing him for years about doing at that point…. He didn't even have to look at Ron a second time to know that that was exactly what his best mate had in mind.

"Oh…just…well…" Ron pretended to be trying to search his memory for the exact wording. "As I remember it Hermione and I were still standing there… That moment, of course, was when Harry chose to make an appearance in the common room, clearly having just woken up. He stared at Hermione, Ron, and what had been Crookshanks only a few seconds before, shook his head, and then turned around to walk slowly back up the stairs, muttering under his breath, 'Obviously I'm still asleep…or at least I hope I am…this is almost more disturbing than that last dream with Wormtail strip dancing in a teacozy…'"

As soon as Ron had said this last bit about Harry, the fairly large audience burst into choked laughter. The image of Wormtail strip dancing in a teacozy was just too much for much of the audience and Ron smiled indulgently, letting the moment last.

Harry covered his face with his hand and then gave a rueful grin at the sea of people. "Yes…and if anyone wants to know, that was a very scarring dream…"

This only made the laughter louder until Ron waved a hand for everyone to calm down and then began again…

Authors Notes:

Now that you've read… REVIEW! ;p We promise we'll have more out soon!