Everyone turned in shock to see Galinda the evil sock puppet standing in the doorway. Maureen stepped forward. 'I thought I had killed you.'

'You came very near to doing just that,' Galinda answered. 'But luckily David Hasselhoff was there to save me! But there's no time for a full explanation. I have a hair appointment in half an hour and I have to kill you all before that.' She pulled out a machine gun and she nodded to Elsie, who turned on the chainsaw with a cackle. They began to approach the cowering bohemians. The oompa loompa cried. Jeff fainted. Maureen prayed to Simon Cowell. They were sure they were about to die.

Then something happened.

Do you want to know what happened?

Are you suuuuuuuure?

Really?

Really really?

Truly positively very completely absolutely beyond doubt indeed?

Okay.

This is what happened.

A bunch of people burst through the door. One was an overenthusiastic, pale real estate agent by the name of Barry and the others home-shopping couples.

'As you can see, this spacious four room loft has a distinct bohemian feel, and the location is excellent, right near such famous attractions as the Life Café and the world's third largest gummy bear factory. It's a wonderful place to start a family, eat chocolate, or take over the world. In fact, it's-' he took a large breath and began to sing. 'FAAAAAAAANTABULOUS FANTABU-'

'EXCUSE ME!' Galinda yelled angrily, interrupting Barry's little ditty. 'I am trying to seek revenge here. What are you doing?'

A young woman spoke from the crowd. 'He's showing us around the open house.' Another man nodded and added 'We're thinking of buying it.'

'There's no open house here,' Joanne informed them calmly. 'This place is not for sale.'

'Really?' Barry looked genuinely confused. 'I coulda sworn that…'

'How come you look so much like Mark?' Glinda asked, gazing from her unconscious love to the singing realtor.

Barry began looking very nervous. 'Oh, well, uh…' he answered and became very interested in his feet. 'I dunno. But it certainly isn't because he's my little brother that I threw into the sewer when he was two because he killed my teddy bear.'

'Oh,' Glinda said brightly. 'Good to know we got that cleared up.'

Galinda sighed. 'Are you people going to leave or do I have to kill you too?'

Suddenly an older man stepped out from the crowd. 'Did you know,' he told them. 'That it's scientifically proven that killing people is bad for your health? I should know. I'm a doctor.'

Galinda immediately dropped the gun. 'Really?'

Glinda chuckled inwardly. She knew her sister was a health freak. Would she really want to kill them all if she knew it was bad for her?

'Is it really really bad for you?'

'It's been known to decrease your life expectancy by up to twenty years,' the doctor said. Galinda covered her mouth in terror.

Barry spoke up then. 'You know, revenge is great and all, but wouldn't you rather settle down in a nice two story Spanish colonial with a nice guy, maybe have some little sock puppets of your own?'

The evil sock puppet sniffed. 'I've always wanted to live in a nice two story Spanish colonial. I've just been too caught up in vengeance to think about it.' With that, she began to sob. Her sister approached her and they hugged.

Meanwhile, Elsie, who had been pretty much ignored all through the chapter, was fuming. 'You've got to be kidding me!' she finally cried with an angry moo. 'After all we've gone through, you're going soft?!'

'Yup,' Galinda responded.

'FINE!' the cow bellowed. 'I'll finished you all off myself, if it's the last thing I do!' She started the chainsaw (which she had turned off before, as she didn't like to waste energy) and ran towards Glinda.

Then something happened.

Do you want to know what?

Really?

Really really?

Really really re- (tomatoes are thrown at hippy.intellect) Okay! Okay! This is what happened…

As Elsie attempted to pass over Mark to get to Glinda, Mark shifted in his sleep that wasn't really sleep but an unconscious state. Elsie tripped over him, and somersaulted over to the table where the chocolate feast was set up. The melted chocolate that was being used as gravy fell to the ground, and Elsie slid on it right out the window and under the fire escape.

It hurt.

FIN DE CHAPITRE CINQ!

Did Elsie survive? Is Galinda really ready to settle down? Who told Barry there'd be an open house? AND WHO STOLE MY BAGEL BITES!?!?! Find out next chapter.

I OWN NOTHING!