Hello to all my little lovelies. Here's my new set of wonderful characters with my fav Irish stunner. He's always good for a bit of fun and that's just what this story is. Fun. Not some major production. I write what ever I've been thinking about so if some of it's a bit weird, that's just the way my mind works ok? Don't get irate about it.

These are some characters that I have actually had in my head for a while, and if you read my first A/N you would no that they are loosely based upon some of my friends. (And yes Pagan, o the similarities keep coming!) If you don't understand some of the calls that's just because it's a PJ don't worry there really not that important.

A/N: This story contains some/al lot of SLASH. Really depends what chap. But yeah for all of you out there, who don't like that stuff don't read. OH and Artemis is a little OOC sometimes, that's just because it's easier to use the stuff around me than having to change it just for one spoilt little criminal mastermind.

Warning! This chapter has religious attacks. I'm sorry if I offend anyone.

Well that's really enough babble from me here comes the disclaimer……….

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any of the originals but the rest are mine, all mine. I love these little buggers. Oh and I don't know own any of the Meat Loaf stuff either.

And roll the story……….

There are beds and then there are Beds.

Artemis walked into his new bedroom on the 4th floor. It was slightly smaller than his one back in Ireland, but it did have a stunning view of the ocean. He had had a fun afternoon with Butler, trying to find a suitable bed. For the last few days he had been sleeping on a rusty old double bed that had come with the house. This was not fit for Artemis Fowl the Second so he had insisted that they go shopping for a new one immediately.

He had spent hours agonizing over which one he wanted. In the end butler gave up and walked out of the store complaining that a bed was just a bed; all you did was sleep on it. He was wrong.

A bed, your bed, made a statement about who you were and what you were worth. It said something about your personality, the way you made love, whether or not you had style. These things mattered to Artemis.

You spent half your life in bed, so it had be perfect. People judged others by what bed they had, even though they don't usually realise that they did. People who slept in singles where young to the ways of the world, double beds were a sign of loneliness. Queen beds showed arrogance and Kings were for the vain.

Artemis had to have the perfect bed, that's all there was to it. And there it was being positioned in the middle of his new room, the men holding either end were starting to get exasperated at the boys constant change of mind.

Artemis really didn't care they were only the servants in his eyes. People to be told what to do, too incompetent to make decisions on their own. Oh and they were also useful for the occasional shag.

Finally the bed was in the right position and the deliverymen left. It really was perfect. There are beds and hen there are BEDS. And this one was defiantly a BED. King sized, Artemis realised long ago that he was a vain person, with a dark green, almost black, vinyl bedspread and only two pillows. Artemis had never seen the point of being suffocated when he slept.

He gave a yawn. It had been so tiring to direct those inadequate work men where he wanted the bed and it did look so inviting. All little nap wouldn't do any harm.

He walked towards me with a bunch of red roses.

"On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?"

"Would he offer me his mouth?"

" Yes."

"Will he offer me his teeth? "

"Yes."

"Will he offer me his jaws?"

"Yes."

"Will he offer me his hunger?"

"Yes."

"Again will he offer me his hunger? "

"YES."

"And will he starve without me?"

"YES!"

"And does he love me? "

"Yes."

"Yes."

"On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?"

"Yes."

"I bet you say that to all the boys."

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWL"

Artemis sat up with a start. Since when did he dream of his toys? And what the hell was with the wolf?

"… Ain't no doubt about it, we where doubly blessed. Cause we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed." Meat Loaf belted out of the stereo next to the single bed.

Lawry lay on his back look up at his posters of men on his ceiling. It was quite amazing how parents never thought to look up. If his did they would have had a heart attack. It wasn't as if they didn't know he was gay, they were actually very accepting of it, but the sheer number of naked men that were stuck to his roof would have made any horny teenager proud.

At the moment though he wasn't trying to imagine what he would do to Johnny Depp if he got him alone. No he was think about something much more complex.

"I wonder if his gay?" he asked the group men staring down at him.

"Well I guess there's only one way to find out." He said outloud, answering his own question, vivid images running through his head. A small smirk appeared on his soft lips, not unlike Artemis's.

He had always like causing a scene at someone else's expense. Now who had annoyed him lately that he could utterly embarrass while still gaining the info he wanted.

Ah yes, that little god praising chit. (A/N – sorry if I offend anyone, but there are those people who are religious and force their beliefs on other's, and that's just WRONG.)

Her name was Anika Holmsway, and she had been a black spot on Lawry's almost happy existence ever since year 8. She had had some kind of crush on him when she had first started at Tremont High that was until he had started publicly showing affection to his boyfriend at the time.

Ever since she had been constantly telling him how he was going to go to hell if he didn't correct his demon ways. There wasn't a week that went by that she didn't tell him that he was doomed to spend and eternity in the fiery pits.

Yes it would be fun to make her completely uncomfortable, especially if it was on her own turf. A very sinister plot was being to form in Lawry's dirty mind.

Anika was standing with her small group of friends and one addition. Artemis Fowl had joined their group for lunch one this particular day. Lawry had been watching Anika and Artemis over the last few days and had realised very early that little miss perfect had a crush on the gorgeous boy.

Just perfect for his little plan. If he could pull this off, he would be killing two birds with one stone.

Artemis looked up suddenly from where he was standing and looked straight into Lawry's eyes, the shiver that ran down his spine was identical to the one he experienced that night on the rugby field.

That was all the encouragement he needed. Lawry slowly ambled over to where Artemis and Anika where standing in a small huddle, with the rest of the religious kids. He never took his eyes of Artemis's.

He stopped with his lips just millimeters from Artemis's, still staring into those ice blue eyes.

"Hello Lawrence. What are you doing here, infecting our little gathering wit your filthy presence?" Anika whined from next to him. Lawry hardly heard her; he was to tangled up in the blue eyes that seemed to draw him into their depths.

"Yes, what are you doing here?" that voice so smooth and sexy.

"This." He murmured seconds before he crushed his lips against the other boys.

For a second Artemis resisted the pressure, before he softened and began pressing back. Lawry slipped his tongue between the slightly parted lips and rubbed it slowly across the tip of Artemis's. He almost lost control when the other boy gave a soft sigh and began running his fingers through his hair.

He raised one hand to the back of Artemis's neck and pulled the boy a little closer, his other hand was make slow stroking motions up and down the thin spine of the smaller boy. Their tongues where now in a frantic wrestling match. Artemis's hips were rubbing hard against Lawry's.

Artemis rubbed Lawry's left ear with his thumb and he lost control. This was no longer just an experiment. Lawry was lost in the wonderful sensation that was Artemis Fowl.

Neither of the boys had noticed that the people around them had fallen to their knees in pray, something along the lines of forgive these two sinners for their hateful ways. No one was really paying much attention.

Artemis was enjoying himself; this little stunt of Lawry's had worked marvelously in his favor. He felt the exact moment that Lawry lost his hold on reality, no all he had to do was………………………… Arrggggggggggggggg. Artemis fell into oblivion when Lawry's hand found its way beneath his shirt and ran his fingernails down the length of his spine.

Both boys had lost the game, because no one can win when you have the same game plan.

That's it! You like? You like? Yes Yes. Review please. There's a little button just below. You know you want to press it. Going on do it. I dare you! oh and yes i no i changed to first person when Artemis was dreaming. it just made it sound better.