Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Loosed Upon The World

By Ebona Nite

Part Two: Testing, Testing; One, Two, Bang!

"Things fall Apart; the centre cannot hold;"

William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming

The test proctor just looked at the room in amazement. The ceiling was shifting colors of all sorts like a chemical spill and the rafters resembled viscous rainbows. The southern wall was growing pink spiky hair in splotches. The eastern wall had what looked like the beginnings of a portable swamp splashed across it, despite said prank item being confiscated before the test had start. Various colors pooled on the floor giving off oddly colored fumes that dyed skin and robes and belching an occasional interesting smell – anything from roses and chocolate to rotten eggs and boiled cabbage. Half the desks were gone, either burned or rotting or eaten away, and several sprouting leaves and taking root to the floor. Only the teacher's desk remained untouched, under more layers of shielding than previously thought necessary, ten vials of five potions sitting waiting to be judged.

The Weasley twins had finished their potions exam.

Elsewhere, other tests were being graded. Though given separate tests with quills charmed against cheating, it seemed the infamous twin bond allowed the two redheads to know exactly what each other was thinking, because all their answers were exactly the same. Or perhaps it was simply because they'd grown up doing everything together including finishing each other's sentences.

CHARMS:

Explain the mechanics of the Fidelis Charm and give an example.

"The Fidelis Charm allows a noun (that is person, place, or thing, including organization) to be hidden from all people, creatures, and owls, excluding the Secret Keeper. The Secret Keeper must tell a person where to find said noun, and is the only one who can tell the location despite others knowing it after being told. It's supposed to be great protection, unless your ratfink Secret Keeper betrays you to Lord Moldyshorts."

"An example of this would be: Just last year my brother George and I hid all the bathrooms in Hogwarts (excluding dorms' and teacher's bathrooms) under the Fidelis and then told everyone except the Slytherins. It only lasted three hours though before the Headmaster cottoned on and made us take it down."

Describe the Imperturbable Charm and its uses.

This charm really sucks. It totally screws up eavesdroppers. You can't hear through it! All that information, kept private, and no way for Fred or I to know what's being said! We had to resort to trying to read lips for a few years to try and figure out what our parents weren't telling us. And the lip reading thing doesn't work at all when you're trying to hide around a corner and discover if your crush has a date for the all yet or not. Luckily, my brother and I have come up with the Extendable Ear, perfect for professional eavesdroppers everywhere. It'll go past the privacy barrier and let you listen in on conversations! Comes in pink, green, and a new fleshy color, owl us at Weasley Wizarding Wheezes and order one today!"

DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS:

Name the characteristics of a werewolf.

"Pleasant chap, makes a great DADA teacher. Polite and upstanding wizard. Knows his pranks, has a great sense of humor. Gets a bit hairy once a month."

Name five spells which can be used in dueling, explain their use.

"One: Expelliarmus – the disarming spell. The wand and wizard go flying in opposite directions. Provided they don't know muggle fighting or wandless magic you now have the advantage."

"Two: Protego – the shield spell. Low levels spells bounce off, offers you some protection. Not great against Unforgivables, and it only lasts so long. But it'll give you time to toss a dungbomb or a portable swamp at your opponent."

"Three: Reducto – the blasting curse. Break ribs or better yet, aim for his feet. That way he can't move, or if he dodges he gets struck with shrapnel or a dust cloud."

"Four: Engorgio – the engorgement charm. Aim for their feet, hands, or a single limb. Let's see them dodge or throw curses when they're having trouble moving, balancing, or gripping their wand!"

"Five: Rictusempra – the tickling charm. Make them laugh too hard to fight back. Laughter's always the best medicine anyway.

Give the incantation for the Patronus Charm, describe its characteristics and uses.

"Expecto Patronum"

"Just a pinch of pixie dust and think happy thoughts and you can fly! Okay maybe not the pixie dust, and it doesn't have anything to do with flying. The Patronus takes a happy memory. A weak patronus is a silver mist. A strong one takes the form symbolic of whatever makes you feel the most protected. It drives away dementers, and supposedly only a few strong adult wizards can use it much less a corporeal one. Mine's a coyote. Umbridge couldn't teach a toad. Harry Potter rocks!"

DIVINATION:

Fred's tea leaves: "I see a smiley face with three eyes and the planet Saturn. Erm… I'm going to be abducted by aliens? No wait! I'm going to read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams!"

George's Crystal Ball: "I see… a toad. Getting stepped on. Repeatedly. I guess this means Umbridge won't be coming back next year?"

Fred Reads the Proctor's Palm: "You have a long lifeline sir, but a lot of wrinkles. Very pink too sir. I see lots of pink in your future. And a break out of warts. Avoid chickens. Thirteen is not your number. Two isn't either."

George Reads Tarot: "You sir, are going to meet a knight in shining armor who will sweep you off your feet. Red is out and pink is in. You'll have a cross-dressing fetish in the near future. Disaster will come to you in the form of… er… socks. Care for a lemon drop? Just a sec while I apply a twinkle charm on my eyes."