Joe 5.

I opened the door to Stacy's room and saw she was asleep in a bed under the sheets. Abby stood in front of the bed with a chart in her hands. She walked up to me the moment she saw me and looked seriously at me. I didn't like that at all. Suddenly the door opened behind me and when I looked over my back I saw Carter. He was curious too how Stacy was doing. I feared the results of her exam were really bad.

"How is she?" I asked and wanted to shake the words out of Abby's mouth when she just kept staring at me like that.

"Stacy has Peripheral pulmonary stenosis, and she hasn't been examed regularly in four years."

I screamed inside me. She had an quite serious heart disease. That kind of heart disease which is very important to check each year. And it had gone four years. One part of me just wanted to go back and take away that tube from her mother's throat.

"That's not good", I said and sighed fast. Carter did too.

"She needs a new heart", Abby then said. It couldn't get any worse. It just couldn't!

"God damnit", was Carters only words and sighed before he turned his back and went out of the room.

I returned to the trauma room when Carter disappeared back to the board to collect his anger a bit, that's what I think he would do anyway. He looked terribly angry.

I walked up to the mother and now in difference of before I looked at her with a hostile look. Now she almost deserved lying there so deep wounded half dead. She had almost killed her own daughter. She didn't understand Stacy's disease was that serious or what? Undoubtedly she must of hadn't.

I lent over her and stirred at her closed eyes, just wanted them to open so I could tell her what a damage she had caused her daughter. But maybe she still could her it.

"You don't know what you have done to your daughter, do you?" I said angrily.

"Now I'm not just talking about all these times when she had seen all of your horrible fights with your psychotic animal for an husband that now causes your death. I'm also talking about you never did take your daughter as an first priority!" I almost shouted. I was so upset. I really wished she could hear this.

"But I see that your last fight with your husband and maybe also your own death, maybe can save your poor daughters life", I continued.

"I hope you never wake up", was my last words before I was fast on my way out of there.

I needed to collect myself now. If I stayed there I maybe would do something far too drastic and scary. I'm a bit frightening when I get awfully mad I've realised. Somebody almost has to set me behind bars during the time I'm incredibly mad. Especially when I have my period. Then I can be a monster.

That explains a lot my situation right now, I'm just having that period. Very bad luck.

So I think I just need a cup of coffee to calm myself down. So I was fast on my way to the lounge where I found Carter, Chuny and Luka. They all looked quite sad sitting there by the table with cup of coffees. They had thought the same as I.

I hell up coffee up to the edge and was fast drinking up half of it before I sat down besides Luka.

"How are you?" he asked and I sighed after drinking up almost the rest.

"Angry as hell", was my answer and gave the three of them a look.

"I saw you went to trauma room one, what did you do in there?" Carter asked and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I told that mother I hope she never wake up", I said and after some moments it felt wrong to have said that. They would think I really want her dead or something.

"I honestly agree with you about that", Carter said in the other moment and I was relieved.

"Me too", Luka and Chuny said in a choir.

Then we kept quiet just hanging our heads down in the coffee.

I decided to go back to Stacy when I had drunk up the coffee, but Carter stopped me just when I had got out of the lounge by holding his hand on my arm.

"We're you going?" he asked seriously and I looked up at him. He had never looked at me like that.

"I'm going to see how Stacy's is doing", I answered and he still had that look in his face.

"Abby watches her, she's not your patient", he said very seriously. I was chocked. He almost sounded angry. I just wanted to check on her. Is that to much to ask? I was after all the first one to speak with her.

"Hey, I just want to check on her, I'm worried", I said a bit angry.

"Well, it's not your job to worry", Carter argued and I was surprised. What a prick!

"Well, then I will go see her when I'm off in…three hours", I said a bit angry back and looked at my watch and then Carter just sighed and let go of my arm.

I turned away from him and walked away. I was annoyed. He now showed this side of himself he did before, in the show. Against his student, against a lot more than her really.

But yet I was a bit surprised because he hadn't act like that against me before. And suddenly he just did. Weird man.

I had come to that conclusion before when I watched the show. That Carter could be a real pain in the ass kind of man. Like all the time sometimes. I guess I forgot all about that when I met him for real. And he was very nice to me then. I couldn't imagine he had been that John Carter in the show, who was rude to his student like she was a less worthy human being, and not just talk about her. His colleagues too. And so on and so on.

I gladly took care of a few patients alone while waiting for this three hours to past. I didn't want to bump into Carter and I wanted to see how Stacy were doing.

When I had walked out the old lady out the entrance who had slipped in the stairs, I wondered why I even had listened to Carter. I still were going to see Stacy. I would not live up to his stupid "orders".

A taxi welcomed the old lady and I opened the door for her. She stopped by the door and looked at me with a smile and laid a hand on mine on the door.

"Thank you very much, you're a beautiful young brilliant doctor", she said before getting into the cab. I didn't had the time to explain that I wasn't a doctor. But yet, whatever. I was still very flattered. A very nice old lady. Nicer than many people these days.

After just standing there in the cold thinking of that lady, Stacy came up in my mind and I looked at my watch and saw I was off in an hour and an half. I'm going to see Stacy right now.

I returned in when I felt it was very shilling outside and I saw Carter and Malucci by the board. Carter looked up from a chart and saw me walking past them. Dave gave me a smile. I just ignored him and gave Carter a quick gruff look before I walked further down the aisle. I didn't feel like meeting him right now. Just wanted to go home without have been facing him again this day.

"Joe!" I heard his voice behind me when I rushed further. God damnit. Leave me alone weird man.

Just when I heard his steps right behind me I turned around and he stood there in front of me. But not with that look anymore. Now he looked more worried.

But I still had the same look.

"Hey, do you have a problem now?" he asked me quite rude.

"Maybe I have, DR Carter", I answered rude back.

"And why is that?" he asked and crossed his arms. He was so annoying right now!

"Maybe I don't have time to obey your dumb orders", I answered and now he looked surprised and raised his eyebrows.

"What damn orders?" he almost yelled.

"That I can't go see Stacy on my shift, that just takes like five minutes!" I answered and now realised some people stared at us.

So to stop this argue I turned away and rushed away before Carter could even argue back.

Carter stood motionless left there in the aisle when Jojo walked away. She had caught his "order" all wrong. For him it was an act as a teacher. His point was that Jojo couldn't get involved with a patient like that. A patient that maybe could die soon. She could be hurt by that. And a doctor has to live with the thing that patients around them dies, and it's not easy when you have gotten close to them. But he now understood it all in another way. He couldn't stop Joe caring for Stacy, even if she wasn't her patient.

He now felt a regret. She was right. Five minutes of her shift was nothing on top of it all. And who cares if she wasn't her patient? She could just give that poor girl some company and maybe friendship. He couldn't stop that. He had to think a bit more of Stacy than Joe. That Stacy maybe needed her.

I walked into Stacy's room and found her sitting on the bed with a children's book in her hands and she smiled when she saw me. I walked up to her bed and smiled back.

"Hi Stacy, how are you doing?" I asked. I was glad to see her again. She did look quite well.

"I'm fine, I think it's fun to be here, I watched Teletubbies!" she answered and pointed at the TV in front of her. I laughed a bit.

"They are funny aren't they?" I said and she nodded. I was so glad to see her happy. I think she felt an relief to come here, felt safeness here.

"Do you have nurses who take care of you?" I asked after a while when I realised I soon had to get home. I would never leave if Stacy didn't feel safe or comfortable here.

"Yes, that big one is funny!" she said and now we both laughed. I didn't have to worry.

Carter stood outside the door to Stacy's room and watched Joe and her laughing while they looked in Stacy's book. He felt so stupid. Stacy looked so happy now, especially with Jojo. He now felt like an real asshole. Joe had her right to yell at him.

After a while by just standing there looking at them with a smile Stacy raised out her arms and Joe hugged her. He smiled even more. Then she turned around and walked towards the door and saw him. Then she looked quite gruff again.

Carter took a step back when Jojo opened the door and walked out.

"Joe…" he said when she was about to walk away without looking at him. But she stopped when he said her name, with her back against him.

"My point with what I said before… wasn't a very good point, I should have thought it over", he tried to explain talking to her back but after some moments Joe turned around.

"Of course you can go see Stacy, I see she really likes you, and I think she needs you", he continued and Joe just nodded and didn't had that gruff look again.

"I'm sorry", was his last words before he turned quiet just waiting for Jojo to say something.

"It's okay.. John", she said after a while and smiled. Carter was pleased to see her smile at him again. He smiled back.

"Hey, you can go home now if you want, you have worked since yesterday", Carter later said and looked at his watch.

"I do if you do, you look like shit", Joe said and Carter laughed.

"I have to stay for one hour more, unfortunately", he said and Joe walked up to him and they went back to the lounge.

"Oh, yeah, right, too bad. But promise to sleep when you get home", she then said and Carter laughed a bit.

"Yeah! I can certainly promise you that!" he said and Joe laughed too. They stopped in front of the door to the lounge.

"Have a nice sleep then", John said smiling. Joe just sighed.

"Yeah, you too, when you get to it", she said smiling back before opening the door.

"Bye", John said and turned around.

"Bye", said Joe before getting into the lounge and came in with a big yawn. She was awfully tired.

When I came back home I realised I was exhausted. I hadn't noticed it until now. Had just been so busy with Stacy and all that that I didn't think about myself.

But now I forced myself to not worrying about Stacy. She was comfortable at the hospital. Out of danger.

I got to bed by noon, after taking a shower (which was incredibly nice by the way). And just when I got under the sheets Denise came back from lunch. Pretty damn good luck I seemed to have today.

"Hi Joe! Nice to see you again, where have you been?" she asked and I sighed.

"At work, where else?"

"I don't know", she answered and took a sit on the couch. She looked very alert. That meant in the freshest mood to chat. I felt my eyes slipped down all the time.

"You're gonna sleep now? By noon?" she asked sounding surprised. I sighed once again. Was she stupid or something!?

"I've been working almost one whole day! What do you think?" I almost screamed and sat up in bed and stared at Denise. She looked surprised.

"I'm sorry, I forgot", she said and raised her hand before I laid down again and closed my eyes. She could be so annoying. She first started with not realising herself where I had been these last 24 hours. Then when she found out I had been working she couldn't get why I wanted to sleep by this time.

"Can't you tell me a bit about that resident of yours, you said he was cute?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She hadn't get anything of before. I wanted to sleep!

"I don't want to talk about my resident, I want sleep!" I shouted angrily.

"Sorry!" she shouted back and I heard her walking into the bathroom and closed the door really hard.

Now I closed my eyes. Not disturbed, finally.

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