I do not own Summerland.

I would like thank all of my wonderful and faithful reviewers!!

kbg17223: No, I'm afraid it'not possible, so, so sorry! I cried writing it! Thanks so much for the review!

froggy2045: Yes, I had tears when I wrote it! Thank you for your review!

Chris Grace: Lol!! Too lazy to log in eh? Now that's just sad! lol!! Anyway, thanks so much for the review!! And yes, cops are supposed to be smart but if you'll think about it, it's dark and they've only looked at the body breifly before they came to Ava's so no... they didn't know.

matt: Thank you so much! I'm glad it's not something you've seen before!

Now, I just want to apologize here because I realize some of you are probably expecting it to be longer but recall, I said it was only 6 chapters when I first started it and that still holds true. So sorry if your expecting a longer story...

Anyway, here's 4!!

4.

A Funeral and a Tragic Christmas "Surprise"

"We are gathered here today to pay our respects to Bradin Matthew Westerly: a loving brother and nephew and a dear friend to many..."

Nikki felt tears forming in her eyes, she had kept them in all day right up to this very moment when it really, really sunk in that Bradin was dead. A feeling of dread washed over her as she remembered her parents' funeral and what dealing with life had been like after their death... she broke down and cried out loud making Susannah come over and hold her and Derrick together while Johnny held Ava and Jay stood in the very back of the church.

The funeral procession moved outdoors to the grave yard to bury the casket, Bradin's family walked outside and was greeted by a gust of hot wind and blinding sunlight.

Nikki wished she was at someone else's funeral and that Bradin were by her side to hold her... Tears fell down her cheeks but she held her head high knowing Bradin wouldn't want her to be so sad.

Derrick felt tears coming to his eyes but he tried not to cry, Bradin had always told him he was a man and he wanted to live up to that... But, then again, Bradin had also said that he should never be ashamed of crying when something really sad was happening... He let the tears fall but walked with an air of strength about him.

Ava walked with the kids and Susannah by her side and tried hard not to cry anymore... at least not on te walk to the burial site... She knew if Bradin were there he would hold her and tell her not to cry... She couldn't help it... the thought of Bradin made tears fall down her face.

Johnny kept a grim look plasterd on his face as he walked with Ava, Susannah, Nikki and Derrick to where Bradin's casket was going to be buried. He didn't cry and he didn't frown but he most certainly didn't smile and the thought of not having Bradin around anymore killed him inside... He walked close to Ava and put his arm around her shoulder to comfort her. She leaned into him and they continued walking.

Susannah walked with each of the kids tucked under one arm and a sad look on her face. She just couldn't believe that Bradin was actually gone... that he wouldn't come breezing in the house and then run back out without a word to anyone and yet, you would know he was happy, anymore... That he wouldn't, rarely, come to her for advice about something or that she wouldn't have to tell him to stop tracking mud into the house after it had rained anymore. She thought about one time when she had been really upset and how Bradin had come and sit with her on the porch and gave her a hug telling her it was gonna be okay... That memory was too much, tears streamed down her face as she silently walked on.

Jay couldn't believe he was dead and what's more that he had killed him! He suddenly started remembering things that Bradin used to do... tears came to his eyes but somehow he couldn't let them fall thinking about the fact that he had killed Bradin. He followed behind Ava and the rest just a little too far for any of them to say anything to him. There was a look a pure regret on his face.

Nikki stood next to Derrick with her arm around his shoulder as the minister performed the rest of the funeral. She looked around and saw many familiar faces but no familiar looks... she had never seen these people look so sad.

Cameron was there, he looked genuinely sad that Bradin was dead he always had liked him... yeah, he was really gonna miss him.

Erica had come, she felt a certain degree of guilt for having been so harsh with him at times and never telling him she didn't mean it She figured this was, of course, her last chance to make it up to him... Besides, who was she gonna call Kansas now?

Among the rest of the guests were people who had taken a liking to Bradin and a few who had been mean to him and were guilty about it.

Bradin's friends, Josh, Justin, Mark, Becky, Samantha and his self proclaimed "enemies", Luke, Frank and Laura were there. Three of his teachers were there as well, Miss Martin, his English and Science teacher, Miss Bell, his Math teacher, and Mr. Carter, his PE and History teacher.

Derrick's friend Martha, and her mother, had come and two of Nikki's friends, Leslie and Jasmine, too.

There were other people. Her dad's brother, Ted, and his wife, Grace... some cousins, Amy, Joey, Jessica and Tommy. And some more of the Westerly family who Nikki barely knew and finally, Nikki's eyes fell on someone she had seen Bradin a few times... what was her name? Oh yeah, Lindsay. She looked incredibly sad... as though her best friend in the world had just died... Nikki didn't know she and Bradin were that close...

"Nikki isn't it?" Lindsay said coming up to Nikki after the funeral while everyone was standing around talking and crying and comforting each other.

"Yeah, that's me," Nikki tried to smile but couldn't, "Bradin's friend, Lindsay, right?"

"Mm-mm... I'm really sorry Nikki... I just wanted to tell you that... I was with him the day he-" Lindsay pulled out a tissue from her pocket and dabbed her eyes, "he died and I just remember how happy he was and how comforting he was to me when I hurt my foot... and I just... I just wanted to tell you what a wonderful, wonderful person he was..." By this time tears were rolling down both girls cheeks and they found themselves in a comforting embrace as Nikki said, "Thank you... were you and he... um..."

"Yeah... kinda..." Lindsay pulled away and suddenly laughed, not a happy laugh, but rather a, doesn't-this-just-fucking-figure, laugh, "he asked me to be his girlfriend that day... While we were at the beach right after he unexpectedly kissed me and we both confessed our feeling for each other... Oh, Nikki, I miss him so much! And I can't even begin to imagine how you feel!! I'm so sorry..." Lindsay and Nikki hugged some more while they both cried until they finally pulled apart and Cameron walked up.

"Hey, Nik... Am I interrupting something here?" He asked softly.

"Not really... oh Cam!" Nikki threw herself into his arms and he held her tightly. Lindsay stood aside and cried quietly.

After more people making condolences to Bradin's family and Nikki and Lindsay promising to see each other again, Ava, Johnny, Susannah, Nikki, Cameron, Derrick and Martha left to go back to their house, Ava was letting Cameron and Martha stay over to make Nikki and Derrick feel better, she figured no one was going to be sleeping tonight anyway so having Nikki and Cameron together was okay...

Ava remembered that day and the many sad days that followed as she sat on the beach with the sun beating down on her and the waves crashing to the shore. It was now straight up noon and Ava decided she better go back home for whatever Christmas they were going to have...

"Hey, Susannah... have Nikki or Derrick come down today?" Ava asked coming into the kitchen to find her friend pulling a turkey out of the oven.

Susannah look up after she set the turkey down and shook her head, 'no.'

"I see..." Ava began setting the table seeing that the food was all but ready, "Where're Johnny and Jay?"

"Johnny's out looking for something in his car and Jay's spending the day with Erica, ow!" Susannah exclaimed the last word.

"Oh! Here, run it under some cold water," Ava soothed her friend who had just burned her hand on a hot pan of dressing, "I better put that in a different container!"

"Just be careful, that's what I was doing and look!" Susannah lightly laughed looking at her swelling hand.

"Okay, I will," Ava smiled. She couldn't laugh... she hadn't laughed once since Bradin died about a month ago.

"I found it finally!" Johnny exclaimed coming into the kitchen.

"That's good... what was it anyway?" Susannah asked still running her hand under the cold tap.

"My watch..." Johnny suddenly seemed distant.

"Which one?" Susannah was now drying her hand on a kitchen towel.

"The one Bradin gave me..."

"Oh..." Susannah said looking at Johnny and feeling tears come to her eyes at the remembrance of Bradin.

Johnny looked away and the room went dead silent for a full minute broken only by the microwave beeping to say that it was done.

Ava attended to it and Susannah asked if Johnny would round up Nikki and Derrick.

Johnny quickly shot off desperate to get away from the awkward silence and Susannah and Ava embraced in a hug.

"I can't start crying now, Susannah... I just can't!" She sobbed into Susannah's shoulder.

"I know, girl... I know..." Susannah comforted her friend then pulled away saying quietly, "Hush now, I hear Derrick coming!"

Ava nodded silently and turned to the sink dabbing her eyes with the dish cloth she was holding so Derrick wouldn't know she had been crying.

"Mm... what smells so good, Aunt Ava?" Derrick asked, a tiny smile slowly spreading across his face.

"Actually, I have no idea! Susannah made everything!" Ava said turning to face her nephew.

"Oh... well than what smells so good, Susannah?" Derrick said turning to Susannah.

"Well to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what you're smelling! I just hope whatever it is it tastes as good as it smells!" Susannah laughed making Derrick smile a full smile not just a tiny one.

"Shall we find out?" Johnny said joining the conversation as he and Nikki walked into the kitchen. It was evident that Nikki had been crying but no one acknowledged this, for which, Nikki was thankful.

"Let's," Ava agreed with a smile. Johnny had been such a comfort through this whole thing...

They sat around the kitchen table, held hands and said grace: Dear, Lord, we thank You for this food for which we are about to eat and we ask that You bless it in Your Holy name, Amen.

After a generally quiet meal they got up and everyone helped to clear the table, wash the dishes, tidy the kitchen and put away the leftovers then they all went into the living room to open gifts.

"Oh Aunt Ava, thank you!" Nikki hugged her aunt for the gift of the outfit she had made her, "I'm so glad you made it and didn't buy it! It means so much more!"

"You're welcome, Nikki! And I thought it would, but you better thank Susannah too, she really helped me out on that one!" Ava smiled.

"Thank you, Susannah!" Nikki said giving Susannah a hug now.

"You're welcome, Sweetie," Susannah replied.

"Cool!" Derrick exclaimed as he opened his new skateboard, "Thanks Aunt Ava!"

There were more such exclamations and 'thank yous' as the rest of the presents were opened. Johnny's gift to Ava surprised everyone, for he asked her out on a date which she accepted with a kiss on his cheek and a whisper in his ear saying, "Johnny, I owe that to you even if I didn't want to go... but I do want to!"

"Awe!" Susannah and Nikki cooed together and Derrick just smiled.

The rest of the day was spent using all the new things everyone got and then at the end of the day the little "family" took out a special time to open Bradin's gifts and give them to Nikki and Derrick as a keepsake of their dear brother as that is what they had decided to do.

When they were all through and a good many tears had been shed and memories exchanged Nikki took her stuff and the stuff of Bradin's that she was keeping up to her room and put it all away while Derrick did the same.

It was about midnight and the phone rang, Nikki answered it, "Erica? Yeah, she is.. okay, are you alright? Okay, hold on!" She went and got Ava then went back up to her room.

About 2:00am Nikki went into Derrick's room to check on him, as she had been finding herself doing every night since Bradin died, and found him laying on Bradin's bed crying. She went over to her little brother and held him until he fell asleep.

Nikki lay there staring at the ceiling... the bed still smelled like Bradin, Nikki almost felt him there with them... her eyes fell shut and the next thing she knew morning sunlight was streaming in through the window and she heard the sound of a girl crying softly crying from somewhere downstairs. Nikki couldn't tell who it was so she jumped up, careful not to wake Derrick, slipped out of the bedroom and quietly down the stairs into the living room. She found Erica lying on the couch, she was crying, and Ava sitting next to her. She sat down on the floor by the couch and took Erica's hand as Ava began explaining that Jay had killed himself.

----------

"Erica, I just wanted you to know that I love you... or I at least thought I did..." Jay said lowly to his date who sat across from him at the table in the restaurant they were dining at. It was Christmas evening and Jay had spent all morning writing a long note, then he left in on his nightstand and left his house to go on his date with Erica.

"What do you mean, Babe?" Erica asked a little puzzled.

"I mean I thought I was capable of loving somebody but now I see that's not true..."

"What are you talking about, Jay? Are you breaking up with me!?" Erica said, her voice rising with anger. A few people looked over at their table and Jay said, "Shh! No. No, I'm not breaking up with you I just won't be able to go out with you anymore so you might as well leave me."

"Jay, you're scaring me!" Erica said quietly, "What's up with you?"

"I- Let's go for a walk on the beach please..." Jay said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Okay..."

Jay paid the bill and they left the restaurant. After walking along the beach in silence for about 10 minutes Erica spoke up, "So... uh, what's up with you?"

Jay stopped walking and stood in her path making her stop, "Right here!" he exclaimed.

They were standing at Spanish Cove, right where Jay had killed Bradin.

"Right here, what?" Erica was starting to actually get scared of Jay, he was beginning to sound like a maniac.

"This is where it happened! This is where I killed him!" Jay's eyes blazed with anger, "How could I do that to them!? They just lost their parents!"

"Jay... what do you mean-" Erica suddenly screamed but Jay threw his hand over her mouth.

"Shh! Hush! Listen, you listen to me!" Jay removed his hand, "I killed Bradin Westerly, that's right, me! I killed him! Right here! Over something completely and utterly untrue! How could I do that!"

Erica moved away from him, her eyes wide in terror, "Jay... calm down, Baby... It's- it's gonna be okay... We're gonna get you help just- just calm down..."

"No! I don't need help! There isn't any help for me! I killed him! I killed an innocent 16 year old boy over something I should have known wasn't true! He didn't know what he was doing... he wasn't even doing anything now that I think about it! I was the one who wanted to sleep with you! He only cared about you and that you didn't get hurt! He really was trying to help you!! I'm the stupid son of a bitch who tried to hurt you!" Jay screamed in rage.

"Ahhh!" Erica screamed in shear horror and ran as fast as she could away from him. She heard him running after her and yelling, "I'm so sorry, Erica! I'm so sorry!" She ran faster but tripped and fell in the sand of the beach.

She tried to get up but her ankle hurt badly, Jay was coming up on her fast. It was midnight on Christmas night, how could she get help!? Her mind raced but Jay was soon at her side, he was breathing heavily from chasing her. "Get away from me!" she screamed.

"Erica, listen to me!" He knelt beside her and she crawled away from him trying desperately to get back up. "Stop!" he commanded but she didn't. "Erica, I just want to say goodbye to you! I'm gonna kill myself!"

That stopped her, "What!? Jay, no, you're just... you're just not feeling well... please... we'll get you help!"

"I told you! There is no help for me!" Jay screamed at her and hit her across the face.

"Ahhh!" Erica screamed at the top of her lounges as Jay started hitting her, "Help me! Help, help! Somebody help me! Jay, stop it! Leave me alone! HELP!!" To Erica's great relief a police officer came running up, Erica instantly recognized him as Officer Jonathan Kent, one of the officers that had been around the Gregory house so much lately. "Help me, Jonathan, help!" She screamed to him

"Get away from her now!" Jonathan yelled at Jay who jumped back and with a fearful look took off running back towards Spanish Cove.

"Are you okay, Ma'am- Wait a minute, Erica isn't it? A smile spread across Jonathan's face but faded with what Erica said next.

"Yes, and that was Jay, Jay Robertson! He lives at the Gregory house! The one where Bradin Westerly lived you know it, don't you, Jonathan?" she said desperately.

He nodded his head.

"Well, Jay's my boyfriend and I've never seen him act like this! He- he-" Erica started shaking, "He said he was gonna kill himself, oh please, please don't let him! I'll be okay, just go after him, please!"

Jonathan was already pulling out his walkie-talkie and talking to headquarters, "That's right, Jay Robertson, he's headed toward Spanish Cove. Uh huh... okay, out!" He clicked it off and reached down to help Erica up, "Can you stand?"

Erica shook her head no, "But if you'll call Ava Gregory for me she'll come get me I'm sure," she added, "I don't need a doctor just a friend..."

"Alright," Jonathan got out his cell phone and handed it to Erica, "Here you go, call her. Can you tell me what happened though?"

"Yes," Erica started dialing Ava's house, "Jay took me to dinner and about an hour ago he started acting really funny and then he asked me to go for a walk with him and I agreed- 'Hello? Nikki? Hey. Is Ava there? Put her on, please... yeah I'm alright... okay.' And then when we walked down here he led me down to Spanish Cove and stopped there and said 'Right here!' I had no clue what he meant and then he but then he started screaming that he had killed- 'Ava? Hey, I really hate to ask you this but could you or Johnny come down here and get me? I'm on the beach a little ways from Spanish Cove... yeah... no, I'm alright... my ankle's twisted I think or close to it anyway... I was with Jay but he- he's acting really... well he beat me. I know, I know... please just come get me, thank you so much. I owe you! Okay I'll see you in a minute, thanks, Ava!" Erica hung up the phone and handed it back to Jonathan, "Here you go, thanks. So anyway he started screaming and yelling and saying that he was the one who had tried to hurt me not Bradin-"

"Same Bradin who was murdered?" Jonathan interrupted her.

"Yeah."

"Continue."

"And that 'how could he do that to those kids!' I still didn't know what he was talking about but then it hit me what he must be meaning and I screamed and tried to run off but he stopped me and said, 'That's right I killed him! I killed Bradin Westerly' or something close to that and I- I just I ran off until I fell down here and he came up to me and said he just wanted to say goodbye because he was gonna kill himself for doing that' and when I told him not to that we could get help for him he just went crazy and started hitting me... that's when you came up."

"Thank you. I'll have to get with you tomorrow to get a further statement and see about what to do if you want to press charges for assault and I'll need to know everything he said about having killed Bradin, okay? Are you going to be willing to cooperate?"

"Yeah, sure... anything to help figure out what happened to Bradin... but I just can't believe Jay would do something like that!

Ava came running up at that moment, Johnny with her and the three of them helped Erica to their car. They talked with the officer for a few minutes more.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, Erica." Jonathan said just as his radio beeped, "Kent." He said into it, "uh huh... I see... oh God... Alright, I'll be down there in about five, out!" He clicked it off and looked at Erica sitting in the car, "I'm sorry Miss Spalding..."

"What? Did they find Jay?" Erica was starting to get worried.

"They- they found Jay but.. It seems we were too late, he's already killed himself."

"No!" Erica exclaimed in a gasp as tears came to her eyes and fell down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Jonathan hung his head.

---------

"Why would he do that to himself, Ava?" Erica was lying on a couch in the living room of the Gregory house, Johnny was bringing her a cup of coffee, Susannah was making her a cold turkey sandwich and Ava was sitting next to her holding her hand.

"I don't know, Erica, I don't know..."

Erica hadn't told anyone besides Officer Kent about Jay having said he'd killed Bradin but she decided she'd better do that now.

"Ava... there's something I haven't told you yet... something Jay told me... A little while before he k- killed himself..." Erica let more tears fall from her eyes knowing what she was about to say was going to break Ava's heart.

"What is it?" Ava asked gently.

"Jay... he told me that... that he- he- h... he killed Bradin." Erica's voice fell to a whisper with the last three words she said.

Ava didn't speak, Susannah walked into the living room with four turkey sandwiches and Johnny followed with four cups of coffee, "Here you go..." Susannah stopped short upon seeing Erica crying and Ava looking like she'd just seen a ghost, "Erica." She finished.

"What happened?" Johnny asked setting the tray with the coffee cups on it on the coffee table in front of the couch where Erica was laying.

"Jay told Erica that he killed Bradin right before he killed himself." Ava said staring straight ahead at nothing.

"Oh God..." Susannah gasped, "Erica, was he- do you- that is... I mean,. Do you think he really did!?"

Erica silently nodded, "Yeah... and for the life of me I can't figure out why he would actually kill someone... especially a 16 year old boy who never did anything to h- Oh God, he went out with me! Oh my God, that's what Jay meant! Oh my God, oh my God! Oh my God, no! No!" Erica broke down and started crying hysterically... "No..." she groaned... "Why, Jay," she whispered, "why?"

And now it's time for... the review crew!! (Yeah, I totally gotta work on that... lol!)

Anna Christie AKA SecondStarToTheRight15