I Don't Want To Be

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

Note: This is AU. Deb Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and Karen are married with two children – Nathan and Crystal. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

Italics … thoughts

Bold … emphasis

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 4: Exceptions

Lucas was not happy, and it showed. Today had mostly sucked, but this class was an exception. He was in English, the only class that hadn't bored him to tears. People had been staring at him as if they had never seen a new kid before, some of the teachers had been giving him weird looks he didn't understand, and there was this pair of girls who had to be stalking him. Other than that, he was being completely ignored – which was fine.

They were given a book to read. Some parts of the book would be read in class by the teacher, and other parts would be assigned as homework. In order to make sure her students read it, Mrs. White required a summary of the required reading. Unlike his other classes, Lucas really liked this one. He always had loved reading – and he loved writing even more.

This class would be a piece of cake, more so than the others anyway. Compared to his last school, this would be a breeze.

Until we move again anyway. Keith and Deb had been right to worry. Lucas did not believe they would be staying here forever. Maybe they'd be sticking around a lot longer than they usually would stay around, but they'd leave eventually.

They'd leave – again. And he'd be uprooted and forced to adjust to a new school system, rules, and classes – again. He'd have to abandon any favorite spots and running trails – again. And, of course, he'd have to leave any friends he had managed to make – again. It was a very old pattern that left him feeling more and more depressed with each move. But he fell for it all, every time. Someone would reach out and he'd crack at some point. What could he say? No one really wants to be alone.

Lucas sighed. He didn't want to be alone, he wanted to make friends, but he didn't want to deal with the pain when they moved. Except...this place felt like it'd be different. Lucas shook his head, trying to pay better attention to the reading. I can't afford to... Lucas sighed mentally. He'd just have to try harder to be unaffected.

The bell rang and Lucas was in no hurry. He'd be walking home today. His mom was working, and with so few hired hands, the café needed her. She had said she could get him, but Lucas had, of course,said it was okay – he would walk home. It wasn't that far...right? Keith was busy too. He, like his mother, had to work (at a garage though), but had offered to swing by and get him.

Lucas declined the offer. It was fine; the exercise would be good for him anyway. Stuffing his backpack with his English and math books, plus two of his notebooks, Lucas shut his locker and headed outside. Ignoring the kids rushing to cars with their parent or parents or whoever in them, Lucas prepared to walk home. He turned to start down the sidewalk...

And nearly had a heart attack.

There was a brown-haired girl in front of him and he couldn't help but feel as though he should know her. Maybe she had went to one of his old schools? She wasn't saying anything, as if she hadn't just scared the crap out of him, just timidly studying him. Her face had 'I'm not sure you're the person I'm looking for' written all over it.

"Umm…can I help you?"

She seemed startled by his voice, as if she had been expecting him to just stare back and/or walk away. "Um, uh, well…"

Lucas mentally sighed. Be nice. Funny how that voice sounded like his mother. "Do I know you?" Off the girl's smile, Lucas figured that he had met her before and simply didn't remember her.

"You remember me then?"

"Not exactly…" Her sad expression made him feel guilty. "Who are you?"

"Haley. Haley James." She gave him a little smile. "I-It's okay though. We were really little when we first met here in Tree Hill."

Lucas gave her a confused look. How could she possibly remember him? He, personally, didn't remember anyone from Tree Hill. If it happened before he was...five, he didn't remember it. "But…my mom took me and moved from Tree Hill when I was two."

Haley nodded. "I know. I only remember you through pictures really. It is kind of weird though, isn't it?" She didn't let him respond. "I mean, you were two, and I was one – or that's what my mom said and you never really know with her, I could have been two too. But anyway, there are pictures in one of the photo albums of the two of us playing together, or me harassing you. Like the picture of me pulling on your hair while you tried to pry my fingers off. Or the picture of you trying to retrieve your teddy bear, but I was trying to eat it. Or the picture of…"

Lucas was dazedly trying to keep up with all that was being said to him. She sure didn't look like the type to talk so much. But he had to go, or he'd act like it anyway. "Excuse me—"

"And there are a whole lot more picture that I could show you, but not at my house because that place is like a zoo. A really scary zoo full of kids that are older than me and should be gone and my, um, 'special' parents, and..just..you really don't want to go there. Maybe I could show you at the Rivercourt. Do you know where that is? I could show you—"

She wasn't listening to him. Idly, Lucas noted that the two of them had been walking the entire time. He was starting to wonder if he should bother trying to stop the rambling girl. Eh…maybe not. She seemed nice enough, and he did feel bad for not remembering her like she did him – even though she had the aides of pictures and her mother's side comments. Her chatter was sort of…comforting too. It makes the walk seem less lonely somehow. He sighed.

Thought you were keeping people at a distance, mental voice commented. Lucas glanced over at the girl. Well, maybe just her. Yes, she could be the exception. They knew each other already – um, sort of – so this didn't really count. Yeah, yeah that's it. At the very least, that was a good enough excuse for Lucas.

Seriously though, didn't she need to breathe? "Haley."

"Are you good in math and science? If you think you'll need help or anything, I can do it. I'm really good at those, and I'd be glad to help you. I suck at English though, are you any good at it?"

Lucas didn't bother to answer; he knew she would go on as if he had. "Haley."

"You know, when you reach tenth grade, they let you tutor people. I think I'd like to do that. Do you think it's a good idea?"

"Hales!" He wasn't sure where 'Hales' came from, but it sounded cool and had the added bonus of getting her attention. It was either that or the fact that he had yelled.

Haley blinked before turning red. "Oh! I was just rambling on and on wasn't I?" At Lucas' nod, she gave him a sheepish look. "I'm so sorry. I don't usually talk that much." The blond boy gave her a slight smile and Haley prayed that she hadn't scared him off or anything.

"So, um…"

Lucas was starting to think that he should have just let her go on. With no chatter coming from her, both parties were left to find something to say. Haley didn't know what to say now that she had been thrown off her rambling track. Lucas wasn't having much luck either.

As we all know, Lucas wasn't much of a talker. He listened. In any given 'clique', if he was in one, Lucas was usually the quiet peacemaker.

He was the listener.

"That's what you do Lucas; you listen real good and, um, fix stuff." Not the most eloquent of words, but coming from a fourth grader, it wasn't too bad. "Um…yeah."

Haley really wasn't sure why she had felt the urge to just talk and talk and talk that way. But once she had started, she had found herself just rambling about anything and everything her twelve-year-old mind could come up with. Lucas' silence didn't make her feel like he was ignoring her, even when she tossed questions at the end of some rambling.

He was just...really quiet, that's all. Like her, but a whole lot worse. They couldn't both be the 'quiet one', so she played the role of the 'talkative one', the one that filled the silence. It felt like they were...friends. And maybe that would weird him out a little, since he didn't really remember her and they had only 're-met' today. But…that's how she felt. Haley felt like they were well on their way to being the best of friends.

She didn't have a lot of friends, so Lucas would be a welcome addition. I wonder if he can play basketball. Of the few friends she had, most of the boys could play basketball. 'Most' meant this: three of the five guy friends she had could play it, the other two liked to watch.

If he can't play…I hope he at least likes it. She'd ask him later. Right now they were having an awkward moment and neither sixth grader knew what to say.

"Are you…hungry?"

Her stomach rumbled and they both laughed. "Yeah!"

He nodded at her. "My mom, she owns a café nearby. We could eat there if you want."

He had a really quiet voice, but it wasn't so low that she couldn't hear him. "Really?"

"Yeah, Karen's Café. Have you been there before? My grand—I knew the old owner."

She didn't catch his slip-up, caught up in the excitement of knowing someone with a parent that owned a business. "Yeah, me too. So your mom is the new owner! That is so cool!"

I shouldn't have said all that. Haley had launched into another rambling session. She had somehow ended up talking about school again.

"Haley." She kept talking. Wow, déjà vu.

"Mr. Kincaid isn't really that bad of a teacher, just a little odd I think. But he's the science teacher, so that's okay right?"

He didn't have Mr. Kincaid for his science teacher, but whatever. "Haley," he repeated as he stopped at a crosswalk. He was hungry, so the café seemed like a better and better idea as they got closer. Where's that button at? Maybe if he pressed it enough times the light would change sometime this year. Oh, there it is.

"Mrs. White is really cool, don't you think? Maybe she's a little harder, but she's so nice. And yeah, I'm no huge English fan, but she makes it more bearable."

Maybe he should just indulge her a little. "Well, yeah, she seems cool to me." She'd been one of the only teachers not to give him a funny look when he walked in. Lucas couldn't help but notice how distant his companion's voice was. It was almost as if she'd left him there.

But…

"Haley?" He had turned around for like five seconds to push the button and she was gone!

"Haley?" Where'd she--

Oh no… "Haley!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

So you decide. Am I cruel enough to take away Lucas' first prospective friend? This fic is meant for shameless Lucas angst…heh heh. Review and find out!